She's Everything
by maxipoo1024
Summary: Bella has spent her whole life thinking something was wrong with her, that there was a glitch in her brain. A chance encounter with the Winchesters confirms her suspicions. With a hole in her heart and an apocalypse on the horizon, can a certain Winchester brother save the world, the girl, and heal his own heart in the process? Takes place beginning of New Moon
1. A Glitch

A/N – It's been a long time since I've uploaded anything, so if you're reading this, thank you for sticking with me. This is a little something different (in case you didn't notice the category and pairing). Supernatural is something I've just only discovered. I know, I know...what rock do I live under? The important thing is I now all about it now...and my heart will never be the same after witnessing the perfection that is Dean Winchester.

I have some amazing women working with me on this, and I am forever grateful to them for indulging me and not calling me crazy. So in alphabetical order, I'd like to introduce what I like to call Team Bean. JamesRamsey, MissJanuary, Samrosey, and Spn_lost_tw.

**Summary:** "Something was definitely wrong with me. Sometimes I wondered if I saw the same things through my eyes the rest of the world saw through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain." Bella always thought there was something wrong with her. When Edward tells her she doesn't belong in his world, she starts to wonder what his world actually consists of. On a quest to find other supernatural things, in hopes of leading her back to Edward, she runs into the Winchester brothers and they confirm her suspicions: something is very wrong with her. The yellow-eyed demon has his sights set on Bella. Dean and Sam offer to take her with them so they can protect her but more so they can keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn't bring the end of the world. With a hole in her heart and an apocalypse on the horizon, can a certain Winchester brother save the world, the girl, and heal his own heart in the process?

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**Chapter 1 - A Glitch**

I uncurled myself from the fetal position I had been in for the last several hours. My legs were as numb as my mind. Carefully, I stood up from the bed and attempted to stretch. _His_ words continued to echo in my mind as I wiped away the silent tears that never seemed to end. I saved the loud sobs that tore through my body for the middle of the night.

Pacing the worn, hardwood floor, I replayed every torturous moment from our time in the woods. The floorboards creaked underneath my bare feet as I tried to make sense of everything that happened. The wood protested with a loud groan as I walked back and forth, pulling on my hair, quietly repeating everything Edward had said to me. Every word I whispered put a new crack in my already shattered heart, and I winced at the self-inflicted pain. It was all true. Of course he would never want me. It never made sense for him to love me. He was perfect, other worldly. He and his family belonged amongst the peaks of Mount Olympus, not pretending and associating with mere mortals. There was nothing keeping them here. I was just a distraction, something to keep him interested in his otherwise mundane existence. What was I thinking?

When Edward left, he made sure to destroy every piece of evidence, taking his drawings, pictures, notes...anything that would indicate he was real. He wasn't lying when he said it would be as if he'd never existed. I began to second guess myself. Always with my nose in a book, I started to think maybe I conjured Edward up to make me feel special. I stole him from the pages of a novel and turned my fantasy world into reality. Something was definitely wrong with me. Sometimes I wondered if I saw the same things through my eyes the rest of the world saw through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain. Why was it so easy for me to accept that vampires did in fact exist? I could tell the Cullens were different from the very first day I saw them. How could I have been the only one to notice the golden eyes and pale skin? Even when Jake laughed at the stories the Elders told about their tribe being decedents from wolves, I could almost see it. Boys at the Res, that were almost three years younger than I was, had the physique of men twice their age. Their perfectly toned chests and sculpted bodies just didn't match up. Sam Uley's group, that Jake had called a cult, started to resemble a pack of wolves; they never left each other. The way Embry and Paul openly admitted their disdain for the Cullens and their kind...it made sense to me.

I sat down at my desk and turned on the computer. Surely, _he_ wasn't able to hack into my email. There must be some old emails from Alice left in my inbox. Maybe I could send her a message, reason with her, and even beg her to come back. The screen finally powered on and out of habit, I clicked on the Google icon. The message at the top bar indicated that it had not shut down properly and asked if I wanted to restore the page. I just clicked 'OK' and while I waited, I went into my Outlook Express and searched my email. I started to shake as I scrolled down the page, realizing there was nothing there. It was completely empty. I felt a rush of warmth as my face flushed. Moving my jittery hand over the mouse, I clicked on the deleted section. Empty. Not even any spam ads for Viagra or Cialis. Dammit! The Google page finally finished loading and I gasped, covering my mouth when I saw what was left on the page.

_Vampire Folklore._

No, I didn't imagine it. Edward and the rest of the Cullens were vampires. The whole thing with James attacking me, my scar... I pulled my hand away from my mouth and inspected my wrist. Images of the attack at the ballet studio flooded my mind: the searing pain, the fire burning inside of me, Edward's voice telling me he was going to fix me. I caressed the smooth, silvery skin. Actual teeth marks...it _was_ real. It was _all_ real. My mind lingered on something Edward had said when he was trying to justify leaving.

_My world is not for you. _

If his world wasn't for me...who was it for? If vampires existed, there had to be other supernatural things that existed in his world as well. As the questions filled my mind, the haze of depression and feeling sorry for myself slowly lifted. The pain that had engulfed me and kept me drowning for so long started to disappear and was replaced with something new—anger. I was furious at him for opening a whole new world to me and then leaving me behind simply because he didn't think I fit in. That wasn't his decision to make, but he always had a hard time letting me do anything by myself. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. Edward and the Cullens coddled me to a point where I became dependent on them. When he left, they took everything with them: my memories, my family, my heart. I depended on them so much, I couldn't survive on my own. The throbbing pain of my half-beating heart and my scars were the only way I knew it was all real. I remembered the Cullens mentioning the Denalis, another coven that followed their diet and practices. They lived somewhere in Alaska, and if I could find them, maybe they could show me where the Cullens were. In the meantime, I made it a point to research every supernatural event ever documented. I started to realize supernatural happenings usually followed a pattern. Where there was one event, there was usually another. If I could discover the pattern, I could follow a trail and hopefully find Edward.

Charlie started to get suspicious of my late night studying sessions. He'd walk past my room several times before heading to bed and would see my light on, the soft glow of my computer leaking out from underneath the door.

One night he walked in and I quickly shut my laptop and looked up at him. He scanned my face, frowning when he noticed the dark purple circles under my eyes.

"What's up, Dad?" I asked, hoping he would just spit it out so I could get back to what I was doing.

"Bells," he said as he sat down beside me, the bed creaking underneath his weight. He was there to give me some sort of talk that I didn't really need. I looked down, focusing on the depression in the mattress. "I'm really glad you're concentrating so hard on your studies...but don't you think you should take a break? Go out, have some fun...you know the things kids your age do."

"I like studying," I lied. Who was I supposed to go out with? Jessica? I could barely handle talking to her in school. Now I was being forced to spend time with her?

"No one likes studying, Bells." He rubbed the top of my head and smiled. "Trust me, I'm glad you stopped crying over that Edgar fellow...but this throwing yourself into your school work...it's not healthy."

I smiled softly at him. Charlie tried, I had to give him that. He may not be the best father in the world, but I knew he loved me. "I guess I'm sort of like my dad in that way."

"I'm worried," he admitted.

"I know. I'm okay. Honest."

He placed a kiss on my forehead before getting up and walking toward the door. He paused and leaned against the doorjamb. "Get some sleep, kid."

Once he left, I quickly opened my laptop and started typing away. One of the good things about being a cop's daughter was I had direct access to the police log. Charlie was never really original, so when I guessed his login as Mariners913 and my name as his password, I was golden. I perused all the activity and noticed something that didn't sit right. A mutilated body left in the forest followed by a hiker's eyewitness of a wolf that looked like the size of a bear. Werewolves? It was certainly a possibility if the Quileute legends of Shifters were true. Mike and Jessica had mentioned they wanted to go camping on the grounds off of the interstate. They abandoned it last minute when they had read the article in the paper about the hiker with his heart ripped out. I even saw pictures Angela had posted on her Facebook of the camp site. Ever the photohog, she dragged Eric there to help her take pictures. I scoured the newspaper article and found the quote from one of the surviving hikers. They said it looked like a wolf but stood upright, more like a man. If the Quileutes could shift into wolves, maybe they retained some of their human qualities and walked like a man? Maybe it was Bigfoot after all. Who the hell knew?

Fully convinced Charlie was sound asleep when I heard the chainsaw like snores coming from his room, I shut down my computer and got ready to do a little investigating of my own. I pulled on a pair of skinny jeans and decided the hiking boots I hardly ever wore would finally get some good use tonight. I pulled on a cream colored long-sleeve t-shirt with a few buttons at the neckline. I needed to be stealthy, so I needed something dark to wear on top of the shirt. The darkest jacket I owned was just a chocolate brown hoodie. Hopefully it was warm enough; I didn't plan on being out for too long, just enough time to document what was really going on deep in the woods of Forks.

I slowly and very carefully crept down the stairs, avoiding the spots I knew would make noise. Charlie was a deep sleeper, but I wasn't going to push my luck...starting my truck would be loud enough. Pulling my hood over my head and tugging the strings tight, I was able to temporarily protect myself from the light drizzle just starting to fall. I stared up at the overcast night sky and noticed the hazy moon behind the clouds. Its glow was slightly eerie, and I started to re-evaluate going out into the woods when it was a full moon. _You may not have another chance, _the reckless voice in my mind teased. The voice was right. It was now or never.

I started up Old Faithful, my archaic, piece of crap of a truck. The thing was beat to hell, but it still drove which was more than I could ask for. There was something endearing about it. Charlie was always a Chevy man. I swore if he could, he would have changed all the cruisers to Impalas. That man loved his muscle cars. Apparently 1953 was a very good year; you couldn't kill those engines, and the fact that Charlie took his time to find me something strong and sturdy showed me he cared. It was no match against a vampire trying to brace himself as he stopped a van from careening into me, but if I were ever in an accident—while driving that is—I would have been safe.

The engine roared to life, and I looked up to Charlie's window, making sure he didn't wake up. After an initial sputtering, the truck warmed up and I drove away into the night. Forks was a small quiet town, so it didn't surprise me when I didn't see one light on in the homes of our neighbors. Even the street lights were out. I remembered Charlie telling me about the mayor wanting to shut them off after midnight, something about saving on the budget. As I turned onto the interstate, I was a bit startled when I noticed a set of headlights in my rear view. Forks had a huge logging business, so it wasn't unfathomable for an eighteen-wheeler to be trucking logs down the main drag in the middle of the night. Except these weren't trucker headlights; they were far too low. It was probably just someone passing through. Luckily, the turnoff to the campground was coming up, so I shut my lights off and pulled off the side of the road and onto the shoulder. I looked behind me before getting out and noticed the other car had vanished. Strange, they must have turned off without me even realizing.

I grabbed Charlie's spare maglite from the passenger seat and climbed out of the cab. I turned it on and it instantly started to flicker. _Oh, come on! _I banged it against the palm of my hand, and it started to shine brighter. _Thank God! Leave it to me to go into the woods with a dead flashlight._

The moisture in the air mixed with the heavy scent of pine and spruce was refreshing. The soggy leaves left a sloshy, squishy noise under my feet as I descended into the forest. I had to think about this carefully. I didn't want to get lost like I did when _he _left me there. I thought about marking the trees, but it would be impossible to see the marks at night. If I had a photographic memory this would have been a piece of cake. I felt a chill in the air and put my hands in the pockets of my hoodie so I could warm them up. I felt something in one of the pockets and fished it out.

"Would you look at that?" I said to myself as I looked at the peanut M&M package in my hand. "That could work."

I left a trail of multicolored candy pieces as I walked further and further into the darkness. Still no sign of the supernatural, I continued hiking. There had to be something here. _There just had to be_, I assured myself. Suddenly, I heard whispers not too far away from where I had just been. Shit! Someone was here. Could werewolves even talk? I tried to duck behind a tree, but I slipped on the wet leaves and fell on the ground.

"Oomph," I cried, quickly covering my mouth. I prayed they didn't hear me.

"Dean, gross! You don't even know how long those M&Ms have been there," a voice admonished, sounding thoroughly disgusted.

"What?" I could hear the loud chomping which only meant they were closing in on me. "I'm hungry. I'm not gonna let perfectly good candy go to waste. Besides, peanuts are my favorite

A snicker broke through the air as the other voice responded, "More like penis is your favorite."

If these were werewolves, they had one hell of a sense of humor. I caught myself laughing as I listened to their conversation.

"Why, Sammy," a gruff voice responded, "it's good to see you lighten up for once...bitch."

"Jerk," the other responded.

I was lying on the ground and watched a pair of big, black boots walk past me.

"You think we lost her?" the one named Sammy asked.

"Nah." The voice was muffled and sounded like he had a mouthful. "It's not like she could have gone very far. I have a feeling this one is a complete klutzoid. Did you hear that crash when she fell?" He chuckled. Was he laughing at me?

I didn't know who these people were, but they were definitely looking for me, of that I was sure. Maybe Charlie found out I left and called in the state troopers to look for me. Whoever they were, I wasn't about to let them catch me. I crawled on my hands and knees, taking me away from the path and deeper into the forest. A shrill howl pierced through the air. The men stopped their chattering and paused to listen to the cries. I took that as my chance to run and ran as fast as I could until I bumped into something hard...and furry. I tore my eyes from the ground and looked up apprehensively. I was met with heavy breathing and grunting that accompanied saliva that was pooling in the beast's mouth. I started to tremble as its eyes focused on me. They were the blackest I had ever seen, even blacker than Edward's. It stuck its snout out and started to sniff my hair. I was frozen in fear until a shout broke through the silence.

"Stand back!"

I turned around to see two men pointing guns at the creature. The taller one held what looked like a sawed off shotgun, while the other one held a handgun pointed directly at the beast's head. I did more than stand back, I took off running. My shaking threw me off balance and the gunshot made me jump. In my attempt to get away, my foot got caught in a root, and I twisted my ankle, falling to the ground.

"Bella!" a voice yelled as I heard them run through the forest.

I was shocked they knew my name, but there was no point in hiding from them, so I called back. "I'm over here."

The two men approached me. It was dark so I couldn't really make them out. I hit my flashlight against the ground and shined it in their faces. The tall one had to be at least 6'4, though he wasn't as huge as Emmett. In fact, he was pretty lean with dark eyes and dark shaggy hair. The other one wasn't as tall, but it looked like he was built fairly well. He was ready to take on whatever that thing in the woods was, so he must be strong...or just fearless. He had short light hair and lighter eyes. After a thorough inspection, I surmised they were only human.

The shorter one held his hand up to shield him from the flashlight. "Enough with the light, sweetheart. I'm starting to feel like I'm in an interrogation," he said.

"Bella, are you okay?" the one with the dark shaggy hair asked gently.

"Who...who are you?" I asked.

"I'm Sam and this is Dean. We've been looking for you."

"Did my father send you?" I tried to get up and winced, falling back to the ground.

Sam knelt down beside me. "Are you hurt?"

"Of course she's hurt," Dean barked. "What the hell were you thinking going after a Wendigo?"

"W..ww..wendigo?" I stuttered.

"Yeah, the big, fugly wolf looking thing that almost ate you?" Dean answered sarcastically.

"It's real?" I asked, a smile spreading across my face. "It's all real!"

"You bet your ass they're real." Dean answered with a cocky grin. "What else do you think killed that hiker in the woods?"

"I was thinking maybe a Shifter or Bigfoot," I explained.

"Don't be ridiculous! Shifters don't kill people, they kill vampires," Dean scoffed as he popped a few M&Ms in his mouth. "Werewolves are the ones you've gotta watch out for..." he crunched down on the candy "...they'll rip your lungs out, Jim."

"Who are you?" I shook my head in disbelief at this character standing in front of me. Really? Who broke out in song mid-sentence? I may have been crazy, but this guy was off his rocker.

"What Dean here is trying to say is that there's a difference between werewolves and shifters. Werewolves are..."

"Ahhh Ooooo, werewolves of London," Dean crooned in a deep voice as he mimed howling, clearly baiting his friend.

Even in his sarcasm I noticed he had a pretty good voice.

"Shut up, Dean!" Sam shot a glare Dean's way before continuing. "Werewolves are vicious and bloodthirsty and only turn under a full moon. They'll kill anything. Shifters only exist to protect their tribe from the Cold Ones, also known as vampires. They can shift whenever they want."

I listened carefully to Sam's explanation while I watched Dean throw M&Ms up in the air and catch them in his mouth.

"Hey! Those are mine! I put them down so I could find my way back," I protested.

"Smart thinking. But it doesn't look like you'll be walking back anyway. You're going to have to let me carry you." He wagged his eyebrows at me and gave me a mischievous smile.

I instantly thought about all the times Edward had carried me on his back through the woods. I wondered what it would feel like for Dean to carry me. Up until now, Edward was the only other person I had any physical contact with. I was so out of it when Edward had left me in the woods, I didn't even remember Sam Uley carrying me home. Charlie had told me a few days later when I woke up asking where I was. I imagined how different it would feel to have a warm, human carrying me. Would he be gentle, thinking I would break easily with the slightest touch? I had to turn away to hide my blush, not that he could have seen in the dark, but I felt like I was being unfaithful to Edward for even thinking like that. The men were good looking, nothing inhumanly beautiful like the Cullens, but maybe that was why it was so easy for me to go along with them.

I needed to keep my wits about me. I wasn't about to let myself just be taken by another pretty face. Maybe Edward was right; I had no self-preservation. I silently reprimanded myself and huffed as I tried to get up on my own again. I wanted to smack that stupid grin right off Dean's face. Sam put his hand on my shoulder to still me and looked up at Dean.

"Dean, I don't think you're helping," Sam said.

"Whatever, you take her..." he looked me over and shook his head "...she seems more like your type anyway." He started to trod through the woods, back toward the main path.

His words hurt me and I couldn't pinpoint why. I wasn't like most girls, but what exactly did he mean by that? What was it about me that made me so completely unattractive to the opposite sex? With a quizzical expression on my face, I looked over to Sam, hoping for answers. He just shrugged and gently took my hand, helping me up. I put my other hand on his chest to steady myself and noticed a streak of blood on his button down shirt.

"Sam you're bleeding."

He looked down and shook his head. "It's not mine."

I slowly pulled my hand away and noticed a large, bloody gash on the palm of my hand. I must have cut it when I fell. My vision started to blur, and I could feel a trickle of sweat running down my spine. I stumbled a few steps and fell into Sam's arms.

"Dean!" he called, and that was the last thing I heard before I passed out.

I was slowly starting to come to my senses. I felt something soft under my body and realized I was lying on a bed. I blinked my eyes open and took in what looked to be a large wooden steering wheel. Were those nautical stripes on the wall? I turned over to my side and looked out the window, only it wasn't a normal window. It was round and concave and looked like it belonged on a boat. Was I at the Admiral's Inn, Forks' one and only motel?

The door to the room swung open, and I quickly closed my eyes to pretend I was still sleeping.

"Dude, if she passed out at the sight of her own blood, how do you think she's gonna take what we have to tell her?"

"I don't know, Dean," Sam reasoned, "she was out there trying to hunt something, and she found it quicker than we did...maybe she knows a lot more than we give her credit for."

"I bet you ten bucks she freaks."

"Twenty says she doesn't," Sam said firmly.

"Alright, you're on, little bro." Dean chuckled before loudly biting into what sounded like a sandwich.

They were brothers that knew about werewolves, shifters, vampires...and apparently wendigos. So what the hell did they want with me?

I sat up on the bed, looking at my bandaged hand, and inched my way toward the headboard. The mattress springs creaking caused the brothers to turn my way. Dean dropped his food and Sam offered me a soft smile.

"So what was it you wanted to tell me?"

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**E/N** - So what do we think? Will Bella freak out? Reviews are better than Dean watching Dean eat anything.


	2. Demonic Weapons of Mass Destruction

A/N- Thanks to everyone that added the story to alerts and to those that reviewed. It means a lot to me, especially being brand new in such a small, close-knit fandom. I hope I did everyone proud with my depiction of the Winchesters. Special thanks to my Team Bean girls (JamesRamsey, MissJanuary, Samrosey, and Spn_lost_twi)

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**Chapter 2 – Demonic Weapon of Mass Destruction**

"So what was it you wanted to tell me?"

Sam nervously laughed as he approached me. "There's really no easy way of saying this, but we think you might be in danger."

I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Dean had picked up his sandwich and looked on in amusement as he chomped down.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but you're not the first person to think I'm a danger magnet."

"Come on, Sammy, you're gonna have to do better than that." Dean quirked an eyebrow at Sam urging him to continue. If Sam was worried about my little Wendigo encounter, he'd probably pee himself when he found out about the van, James, and Jasper all trying to kill me.

"How about you start with why you were following me in the woods in the middle of the night," I suggested.

Out of habit, I brought my knees to my chest and hugged them, bracing myself and holding myself together as I patiently awaited their explanation.

"We knew you were going after the Wendigo, and I saw you get killed," Sam explained.

"Saw? Like a vision or something?" I asked as his face lit up with my understanding.

He turned to Dean and cracked a huge smile and then turned back to me. "So you get them too..."

"No," I interrupted, shaking my head. I unfolded my legs and sat up straight, pushing my shoulders back and feigning the confidence I would need to explain how I knew about visions. "I know...knew...someone that had them. She could see the future...well not the future exactly. She saw the outcome of decisions."

"You think it's another gifted kid?" Dean asked Sam as he threw the wrapper to his sandwich into the wastebasket near the door and shrugged.

"Do you know how to contact her...can you call her?" Sam asked.

I wrapped my arms around my sides and squeezed. I looked down as I answered softly, "No, that's not possible."

Sam noticed my slumped over shoulders. Seeing I was uncomfortable, he changed the topic. "Okay, do you have any special powers that you've only just realized within the last six months?"

"Me? Powers?" I shook my head in disbelief. "I'm lucky if I can walk a hundred yards without tripping. I think I showcased that quite well last night."

Dean chuckled. "You got that right. You managed to mess up your hand pretty good too."

I inspected my hand. It had been treated with some kind of ointment and then covered in gauze. The ace bandage was perfectly wrapped around my hand, still giving me use of my fingers. It almost looked like a professional did it. _Like Carlisle used to do it, _I thought with a pang.

"Did you do this?" I looked up at Dean. He raised his brows slightly and quirked a side smile.

Last night, under the darkened sky, I just thought he was human. While not displaying the perfection of my absent vampire family, looking at Dean in the daylight was not something I was prepared for. His eyes were extremely expressive, lined with long, dark lashes, and the unique shade of hazel left me trying to figure out if they were more green than brown.

"What can I say, I'm a professional. When you do what we do, you get pretty good at patching yourself up."

As he spoke I found it hard not to stare at his lips. His bottom lip was so full and his upper lip had a perfect Cupid's bow. I noticed the short stubble on his face and neck. I couldn't help but notice the difference between his and Sam's face. Sam was still good looking in his own right and had one of the warmest, gentlest smiles I had ever seen, but he still had a baby face. I started to think about Edward's face and how he would never grow facial hair. A shudder wracked through my body even thinking about _him_. Apparently, I had a knack for surrounding myself with beautiful people. Except the more beautiful the guy, the bigger the ass he turned out to be. Edward was a perfect example of this. It was like they had this complex; they were so good looking they knew they'd always get their way, no matter who they hurt in the process. Looking at Dean only made me more aware of my own inadequacies.

"What exactly is it that you do?" I asked.

"You wanna take this one, Sammy?" Dean asked.

"Bella," Sam started in a calm voice, "there are a lot of things out there that people have no clue about. The Wendigo only just scratches the surface. My brother and I, we hunt down the evil stuff, cursed objects, spirits, demons, vampires..." I widened my eyes and swallowed thickly. "We make sure they don't hurt anymore people."

What did that mean? I never once thought the Cullens were evil. Even Jasper, with his constant thirst for human blood...it was part of who they were. Edward always argued with Carlisle about God and whether or not they had a soul. I was inclined to agree with Carlisle. No matter how dammed they were, the way they lived their lives had to give them points with the big guy.

I couldn't believe my luck. What were the chances of me finding not one, but two people that actually knew what they were doing, people that could help me find the Cullens? I just had to make sure they didn't try to kill them when we found them.

I must have still had the shocked look on my face because Dean felt the need to clarify. "You know, all the scary things that go bump in the night." He moved his head forward, looking at me intently. Dean bumped Sam's shoulder with his own. "What did I tell you, Sammy? She's freaking!"

"I'm not freaking. I just don't understand how you can be sure all those things are evil. Stuff like this isn't black and white. These things..." I gulped, thinking about the Cullens "...they used to be people," I reasoned.

"Bella, if you're thinking about Casper the friendly ghost, I've got a newsflash for you. It was a bad comic book, then turned into a mediocre cartoon, and was followed up with a horrible movie with that chick from the Adams Family. These spirits are angry and dangerous, and if we don't waste them, they're gonna keep hurting innocent people. That Wendigo? A cakewalk compared to some of the things we've been up against," Dean explained.

"And you got into this how exactly?" I brought my fingers to my temples and started to rub, trying to take it all in. After my extensive research, I had a hunch that certain supernatural entities may exist, but just because they were real didn't make them evil.

"Winchester Family business," Dean answered gruffly.

"What does this really have to do with me...besides being in the wrong place at the wrong time?" _As usual_, I thought to myself.

"Well, I told you I had a vision of you," Sam explained. "I only have visions of people that are connected to a particular demon."

"Good old Yellow Eyes," Dean said with a laugh. "See any yellow-eyed demons in your dreams lately?"

Yellow-eyed, golden eyes...it was all the same thing wasn't it? Edward still haunted my dreams, but he was no demon, despite what he thought. The way he ripped out my heart was vicious and cruel, but he wasn't the monster he or Dean thought he was.

"No," I said, shaking my head vehemently. There was no point telling them about the nightmares I had almost every night. It would only raise their suspicions of the Cullens.

"What gives, Sammy? I thought she was special?" Dean asked in frustration.

"She is special. _He_ told me so." Sam turned to Dean, begging him to back off with his eyes. I kept my gaze on the door as I started to plan my escape.

Dean continued to argue."This is a waste of time. No special powers, no special anything. There's no way this mousy little girl is going to bring about the end of the world."

I jumped off the bed and started to back up toward the door. "Look, guys, I'm really sorry I wasted your time. You're right. I'm not special, and I sure as hell won't be ending the world anytime soon."

"Bella," Sam said quietly, "how did you know about the prophecy?"

"What prophecy?" I shook my head and continued to make my way to the door, nearly tripping over an end table. I needed to get away from these crazies as soon as possible. "I was just reiterating what Dean said," I answered nervously. "So if you don't mind, I'm just going to go home...so uh...thanks for rescuing me back there."

My hand was just barely touching the handle to the door when Dean whipped around. "Hold up! I didn't say that."

"Yeah, okay. Whatever. I get it, you said too much." It wasn't the first time I was privy to knowledge that I had no business knowing. "I'll forget you ever mentioned it."

He walked over to me and looked at me closely, his eyes scanning my face.

'_I guess she's not that bad for jail-bait. She's almost worth doing sometime with that banging body..._' his tongue swept over his lower lip and I tightened my glare _'...and perky tits. I always did have a soft spot for a brown-eyed girl,_' Dean said as he hummed the famous Van Morrison song.

I protectively covered my chest and scowled. "Thanks for ruining one of my favorite songs for me, jerk."

"What are you talking about?" Dean scoffed.

"Brown-eyed Girl. Van Morrison...you were humming it in between commenting on my breasts." I waved my hand at him and turned the handle to the door.

"I didn't say that out loud!" Dean yelled. "Sammy, you have some explaining to do!"

"Wait...wait...wait..." Sam shot off the bed, jogged over to me, and gently put his hand against the door, successfully thwarting my escape. "You can read minds?"

"W...ww...what? Nnn..no...I can't..." I stuttered, squinting my eyes, trying to comprehend what they were insinuating.

"Apparently you can," Dean added. "There's no way I would comment on your ti…breasts...at least not to your face."

Sam glared at his brother. "Dean, shut up!" His expression softened as he addressed me. "Bella, when did this start?"

"When did this start? It just happened...just now. I don't know how or why...I just heard it."

'_Can you hear me?'_ Sam asked without moving his lips.

I brought my hand up to cover my mouth and nodded silently.

'_Bad-fucking-ass,'_ Dean said silently.

"I am not bad ass," I cried. "If I was maybe Edward wouldn't have been so worried about keeping me safe. Maybe he would still be here. Maybe if I was so bad ass, he wouldn't have felt the need to protect me from everything...including himself."

My emotions got the better of me as I began to lament over Edward. Hot tears trickled down my cheeks as the hole in my chest opened up. I slid to the ground and buried my head between my knees as the sobs overtook me.

I wasn't sure how long I cried for but the brothers seemed to know better than to approach me. It probably had more to do with their inability to console a hysterical teenaged girl than understanding my need for space, something that was a necessity lately. After my breathing slowed and the pain subsided, I looked up through tear-filled eyes.

Sam looked at me with a horrified expression on his face as Dean stood perfectly still with his hand outstretched toward Sam.

"You owe me twenty, Sammy. Cough it up."

Sam narrowed his eyes at Dean before hesitantly approaching me. He knelt in front of me and looked me over.

"Bella, are you okay?" Sam asked.

I covered my face with my hands, completely embarrassed I fell apart in front of two complete strangers.

"It's a lot to take in," he soothed.

I pulled away my hands and nodded slowly. There was no point in explaining how my vampire boyfriend left me broken and alone, so I decided to just play along. It was a lot to take in, but this was what I wanted. I needed them to help me find Edward. No matter how much he had hurt me, I still loved him. As easy as he lit up my world, he was able to turn my blue skies black. The only thing that kept me from thinking my whole time with Edward was only a dream was that I still woke up screaming, and I still had the physical scars, tangible proof. If I could just get to him and show him he was wrong...if I could make him see...

Sam offered me his hand again like he had in the forest. I let him pull me up as I gathered myself. "I know you don't want to hear this but you're in danger. That demon we told you about...he's trying to bring about the apocalypse. He's been building his own human army to fight alongside the demons. These humans have special powers, like visions or in your case, reading minds," he explained.

"You're...you're working for the demon?" I shook my head, backing away from him, utterly confused with the turn of events.

"Over my dead body," Dean piped in.

"No!" Sam cried. "He wants me to be one of them..." his face grew fierce as his eyes narrowed, and he bared his teeth "...but that will never happen." I finally saw how scary Sam could be. "The demon knows about you, Bella. Which just means you fit into his plan somehow...we just don't know to what extent."

"You're not one of the kids he screwed with as a baby, like Sammy here." Dean looked me up and down, lingering on my thighs and chest before finally meeting my gaze. "You're special. Whatever powers you have are your own, and I'm willing to bet Yellow Eyes can't wait to get his hands on them."

Reading minds wasn't my thing; it was _his_. Suddenly, I became panicked. What if somehow, I got _his_ power? But how? If anyone would know it would be the Winchesters.

"I'm not special!" I cried. "I'm just a shell of what I used to be. He left me with nothing. All the love he had for me, the life we were going to have...it's all gone. He didn't even give me a choice!" The words just spilled out, and there was no way I could stop them. "The emptiness never goes away. I don't know how to go on without him. So, no," I steeled myself and lowered my voice, "I'm not special. I'm broken. As if the pain of his memory wasn't bad enough, now I have him to thank every time I hear incessant blabbing in my brain."

"Bella," Sam's soft voice broke through my rage, "who hurt you?"

I looked at the brothers. Sam was genuinely concerned, his brows knitted together in worry, but Dean...for the first time since I met him, he didn't have a cocky grin or his tough-guy mask. His eyes showed me all I needed to know—complete understanding.

"Edward," I croaked.

"We can protect you from him and the demon," Sam encouraged.

"Don't you get it?" I spat. "I don't need protecting. I want to find Edward so he can make this right. So he can turn me and we can be together."

Sam looked on in confusion as Dean shook his head at me and laughed in disbelief. "Turn you into what exactly?" Dean pressed.

"A vampire."

He barked out another loud laugh. "Whoa, slow down there, sweetheart. I want to make sure I understand what you're saying. You dated a vampire and now that you're all alone, sniveling and crying over your broken heart, you want to track down your ex so he can turn you into a vampire and you can live happily ever after?" Dean threw his hands up in the air. "Unbelievable!"

Sam ran over to the second bed and opened up a worn, leather journal. He flipped through the pages. I widened my eyes as I saw page after page of evil spirits and demons in my mind. The onslaught and speed of images floating through my mind was painful. '_Didn't she say his name was Edward?'_ Sam silently thought. '_Here it is_,' Sam said to himself as he pointed on a page.

"Was his last name Cullen?" Sam asked.

A few minutes passed before Dean broke the silence. "Hello? Earth to Bella. He asked you a question."

"Sorry. I didn't realize you asked that out loud." I gave Sam him a sheepish smile.

"Answer the question," Dean commanded. Dean's attitude was really starting to grate on my nerves.

I was used to Rosalie's constant eye-rolling and utter disdain for my existence, but Dean had no right to treat me like this. He may not have liked who I chose to spend my time with, and I was sure he came across some really awful things in his line of work, but he knew nothing of me or the Cullens. There was no point in arguing with him. It would only make things worse. I decided the best way to shut him up was to placate him.

"Yes," I answered solemnly.

Dean looked over at Sam who was still reading and then back to me. "What does that mean, Sammy?"

Sam brought the book over and held it open in his hands for both Dean and me to see. The messy handwriting scrawled across the top read, "Edward Cullen—Vegetarian Vampire."

"So what? He makes sure he gets his nine servings of vegetables a day, along with his daily supply of blood?" Dean asked. He was a smart ass, and I didn't like the way he just insinuated things about Edward.

"No," I replied. "He and his family don't drink human blood."

Dean snatched the book away from Sam and started reading on his own. He looked up at me with a knowing smirk. "That wasn't always the case though. Was it Bella?"

I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth and lowered my eyes.

"Keep reading," Sam urged.

Dean slammed the book shut, walked toward the bed, and pulled out a black duffel bag from underneath the bed. "It doesn't matter. He's a vampire. We waste him. Plain and simple." He whipped out what looked like silver machete.

I knew it would take more than that to kill Edward, but it didn't take away my fear. All Dean would have to do was behead him and burn the body.

"No," I cried. Starting to hyperventilate, I begged him between breaths. "You can't...please...no...don't."

Sam walked over to Dean and placed his hand on his shoulder. "He saved Dad..." Dean turned around with a shocked look on his face "...and Dad let him go. Apparently in the eighties, there were a string of murders in Chicago, victims completely drained of their blood. The authorities thought it was a serial killer, but Dad knew better. He went to hunt a vampire and was met with a vigilante of sorts. This vampire, Edward, was hunting down criminals. He read their minds and saw all the horrible things they were going to do to their victims, and he stopped them before it could happen."

I sighed but my moment of relief was cut short.

"Doesn't matter, Sammy. We're hunters...this is what we do."

"He's a good person!" I cried.

"Person?" Dean asked as he stalked toward me. "He's not a person. He's a monster. Look at you..." he motioned toward my pathetic existence "...you even said it yourself. He broke you. You talked about hurting so much you'd rather die than be without him. If he loved you so much and was such a great _person_..." his voice lingered on the word "...why did he leave you here to suffer? The people that love you aren't supposed to leave. He's a monster, Bella, and he deserves to die."

I backed away as he advanced. It sounded like he was speaking from personal experience, the pain was visceral as he spoke, but it didn't mean it gave him the right to take it out on Edward...on me.

Sam put another strong arm around Dean and pulled him into his chest. "Let it go, Dean. Let this one go."

Dean pulled away and pretended like he had something in his eye. I really wanted to know what had happened to him to make him so angry at the world, but more importantly, I wanted to make sure he didn't take his vengeance out on Edward.

"Bella, we know Edward could read minds...and now you can read minds. Did he...did he ever bite you?"

I looked up at Sam and answered him silently with my eyes.

"He bit you? Where?" Dean reached toward my neck to brush away my hair. I reared back and protectively grabbed my wrist. He caught my movement, grabbed my wrist, and flipped it over. I felt his strong hands push on my pulse as he inspecting my arm carefully. He wasn't gentle and didn't care. "Twice?" he shouted. "He bit you twice!"

I yanked my arm away and rubbed my wrist. "No. Another vampire attacked me and _he_ saved me." I paused, making sure he knew Edward had saved me. "I was about to go through the change but Edward sucked the other vampire's venom out. He didn't want me to become one of them...he cared too much about my soul."

"You're not a danger magnet," Dean said. "You're just stupid! You surround yourself with vampires and don't expect to get bitten?"

"If these vampires were vegetarians, why did one attack you?" Sam asked genuinely concerned.

"James, the one that attacked me, didn't follow the Cullen diet. He was a nomad, and when he ran into Cullen territory, he saw me with them. The way Edward treated me like an equal and not a snack intrigued him. Edward read his mind and saw all the awful things he wanted to do to me." I involuntarily shook as I remembered what Edward had told me about James. "Edward's reaction set James off, and I became an exciting game for him. He was some sort of tracker, and the hunt was his obsession. He wouldn't have stopped until he found me and killed me."

"What's a tracker?" Dean asked in a softer voice. Apparently, he had calmed down and was no longer angry but curious instead. I could almost see the wheels turning in his head. He was probably just trying to figure out a way to use me. If it were any other situation, I would have been upset, but I planed on using the brothers too. _Ha! And Edward thought __I__ had no self-preservation. _

"A vampire with special tracking abilities. All they need is a scent and they can find anyone, anywhere, in no time," I explained.

Dean pursed his lips and nodded his head. "That would definitely come in handy in our line of work."

"Wait!" Sam yelled, interrupting our first civil conversation. "Bella, how did you find the Wendigo?"

"I hacked into the police log and followed the newspaper articles that talked about the attack."

Raising an eyebrow in Sam's direction, Dean added, "See, I told you she was your type."

Sam just rolled his eyes. "But the direction you took off running in...it was exactly where the Wendigo was. You could have run in any direction but you chose that one. Why?"

"I...I...don't know. It just felt right. I can't explain it." I furrowed my brows and gnawed on my lip, trying to make sense of the situation.

Sam frowned in concentration. "Bella, what if the first vampire that bit you passed on his abilities and when Edward tried to suck the venom out, he passed on his?"

This wasn't possible. I just shook my head, attempting to remove their ridiculous theories. I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want any part of that monster running through my veins. Edward hated his gift; it isolated him. I didn't want to believe it. After spending more time with the Winchesters and learning about what else there was out in the world, I had to admit that it wasn't just possible but probably true.

"Great," Dean said sarcastically. "Mind-reading tracker. Sounds like an awesome demonic weapon of mass destruction."

With Dean's snide remark, I realized this wasn't just about finding Edward anymore. If some creepy demon was after me so he could use me to start the apocalypse, I wasn't safe. I needed to trust these brothers with my life and the fate of the world.

"Alright, I'll go with you guys. I'll let you protect me and make sure I don't end the world. I'm just going to need help figuring out what to tell my dad."

"Just runaway. That kind of crap happens all the time. You can send him post cards from random places and tell him you're trying to find yourself," Dean suggested.

I shook my head and bit my lip, giving him a small, sideways smile. "Did I mention my father was the Chief of Police?"

Dean's jaw tensed, and he glared at Sam, telling me that he most definitely was not privy to that little bit of information. A victorious smile spread across my lips. _Good,_ I thought. Dean Winchester deserved to be brought down a few pegs.

"You didn't think I needed to know something like this, Sammy?"

"Sorry, Dean. It's not like I have credits rolling when I get a vision." Sam's voice changed into something that resembled a television announcer's. "And tonight's damsel in distress will be played by Bella: Police Chief's daughter."

"Real cute," Dean said angrily.

After watching the brothers banter back and forth in this weird semi-arguing, joking manner, of one thing I was certain. I was in for one hell of an entertaining ride.

* * *

E/N – Of course she didn't freak out! Don't underestimate Bella. She's got her own plan...I wonder how that will fit with what the Winchesters have planned. Remember this is a slowburn Dean/Bella story. She's not going to fall madly in love with him right away. But she can read his mind...which should make things a lot easier, right? ::**insert evil laugh here::**

I'd also like to rec a story to you that I think you'll enjoy. It's called Carry the Notion by fanpire.x

Her Dean and Bella are completely different than mine...but it's still a great story!

Reviews are better than Dean thinking you're a hot piece of jail-bait!


	3. The Recruit

A/N – The response to this little story has been overwhelming. I had no idea how many people shared the same love I have for Dean and Bella. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It really means the world to me and makes what I do worthwhile. I want to thank the usual suspects: Team Bean (JamesRamsey, MissJanuary, Samrosey, and Spn_lost_twi). This story would suck without you.

If I owned Twilight, I wouldn't have to watch my husband tear apart his truck engine this weekend. I'd be buying a brand new car. If I owned Supernatural, I would have written an indentured servant clause into Jensen Ackles contract that involved him walking around shirtless at all times and rubbing my feet.

* * *

Chapter 3 – The Recruit

"Guys, I don't know about this..." I anxiously picked at a hangnail, letting their plan soak in. "Charlie is a lot smarter than most people give him credit for."

He still hadn't figured out the Cullens' secret, so maybe he'd buy it, but I didn't feel right blatantly lying to him. The last lie I told him nearly broke him. I saw the hurt in his eyes when I hit below the belt, lying and telling him I didn't want to make the same stupid mistake my mother had. Forks always was and would be his home. After high school, he joined the police force, thinking it would be a guaranteed job. A small, rural logging town, Forks wasn't exactly a booming hub like Seattle or even Port Angeles. There weren't many choices for employment. A teacher, doctor, or waitress...that was pretty much it. With a baby on the way, Charlie needed a job that would offer stability. He couldn't be out on the road and leave his wife and newborn baby to fend for themselves while he trucked logs back and forth. He was always handy with a gun, so he enlisted and eventually managed to work his way to Chief of Police. Believe it or not, it was a safer bet than being a logger. There were at least four logging accidents a year. Before I arrived, crime in Forks was almost non existent. I guessed I was partly to blame for the rise in body counts. If Charlie went along with the brother's plan, things could go back to normal. It wasn't like I had to fake my own death like I would have with the Cullens.

"It makes sense, Bella," Sam assured me. "You just broke up with the love of your life. Wanting a little space is normal."

"But he already tried to send me away. I put up such a fuss...he's gonna think it's weird."

"No more weird than dating a bloodsucker?" Dean asked with a smile. "Eh?" He raised his eyebrows and slightly nodded awaiting my response. His joke wasn't funny. Did this man take anything seriously?

"Charlie didn't know about the Cullens..." I turned to Dean, lowering my voice and steeling my gaze "no one did."

"Just stick to the script, and it will be fine," Dean said before turning his attention back to the small television in the room.

Sam looked to his brother and then back to me. "Come on, Bella, I'll walk you out to your truck."

We walked past a really nice, black 1967 Chevy Impala. I felt a twinge of pain in my gut when I saw it and immediately thought of Charlie. He would have been drooling over that car. Whoever owned that thing took impeccable care of it. The hubcaps were a shiny chrome and the paint job looked flawless.

Sam reached around me and pulled open the driver's side door. "I'm sorry about my brother..."

I put my hand up, urging him to stop. "Some people are just jerks." He just shook his head and smiled, silently laughing to himself. I frowned, furrowing my brows in question. "What?"

"Dean _is _a jerk," he laughed. "I always call him that and he always calls me a bitch."

I nodded in understanding. I vaguely remembered a similar exchange in the forest. "That may work for _you_ two, but it doesn't mean he can treat me like that. I know you guys have a lot more knowledge about all this stuff, but I'm not completely useless."

"We know. The way you tracked that Wendigo all by yourself was pretty impressive. Just give Dean a little time. He's got some pent up aggression."

I climbed into the cab of the truck and Sam shut the door behind me. He tapped on the hood a few times sending me off and stood back, watching me drive away. God, I really hoped their plan worked.

I pulled my truck into the driveway and parked, counting my blessings that Charlie's cruiser wasn't outside. It meant that I could prolong the inevitable a little bit longer. I opened the front door and walked into the house, shutting the door behind me. Taking a few minutes, letting it all sink in, I rested my head against the door and closed my eyes.

"Bells? Is that you?" Charlie called out.

My eyes sprung open. "Yeah." I took a deep breath, steadying myself. This was happening sooner than I would have liked. I quickly took out my phone and texted Sam, letting him know Charlie was home and to go ahead and get the show on the road.

I walked into the living room and saw Charlie sitting in his recliner, a beer in one hand and the television remote in the other.

"You were up and out early this morning," he said, taking a sip of his beer.

_Nothing like getting right to it, Charlie. Thanks for the lead-in._ "Um...yeah, I wanted to get to the library to send off the last of my college applications. I sent off all the ones I really want to go to a couple of weeks ago. Now I'm working on my second choice schools."

"You still thinking about going to Alaska?" he asked, hesitantly. _'I wish she'd stay closer. I just got my baby back. If I ever see that punk ass kid again, I'll take my shotgun and...' _

I was a caught a little off guard as Charlie's thoughts assaulted me. That guilt that gnawed at me outside of the Admiral's Inn started to twist in my gut. Leaving him again would hurt him, but if he thought I'd be coming back to visit... I needed to do this.

"Actually, I'm kind of loving the idea of going California. It's sunny and warm..."

_'And beaches and bikinis...oh God! Renee and I went to California...there's no way...' _I couldn't hide the smile that found its way to my lips as I watched Charlie shift uncomfortably, images of me on a beach doing a keg stand flashing through his mind. Didn't he know me? I wasn't like that...like Mom.

"There are some really good schools there...and the change of scenery will do me good."

"Anywhere in particular?" Charlie asked. _'Please don't say UCLA...please don't say UCLA.' _

I swallowed thickly trying to banish the vision of Charlie and Renee at a UCLA frat party. Mom was dancing on a table, practically topless and Charlie was running around with a lampshade on his head and no pants.

"Um...I sent applications out to quite a few," I stuttered, forcing my grimace into a smile. I so did not need to see that. I kind of felt bad for Edward. This gift was going to take some getting used to. "UCLA, San Diego State, UC Berkley, and Stanford. I'm really hoping for Stanford, but it's really hard to get in and..." I trailed off as images of me crossing the stage in Graduation robes filled Charlie's head.

"Stanford?" he questioned, getting up and rubbing his hands down the front of his jeans. "That's a really great school...expensive..." He started pacing to the kitchen and pulled open a the top drawer of the hutch. I walked past him as he scrutinized a bank book. "I opened this bank account the day after you were born. I've been saving money every week to put into it for a college fund. I just don't know if it's going to be enough."

I paused at the refrigerator feeling incredibly guilty. I took out the ingredients to make him a turkey sandwich. He'd take the news a lot better if he had a full stomach.

"Hey, Dad, where's the cruiser?" I asked as I spread mayonnaise on the bread, taking my time arranging the pickles, cheese, and deli meat just right, delaying the imminent. Just a few more minutes of normalcy before the Winchesters showed up and blew his small world apart.

"Oh, I had to send it out for maintenance. Harry dropped me off. They said they'd bring it back when it was done."

I placed the sandwich on a plate in front of him and smiled sadly as he stared at the bank statement, rattling numbers off in his head.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Just trying to figure out how much more I'm going to need for Stanford."

I came up behind him and put my arms around his neck. "There's always scholarships...and I may not even get in."

"You'll get in," Charlie said, beaming with pride. "And if that's where you want to go...you'll go." He was making this too easy. Sam and Dean were right. They had been on the road for so long, lying was easier than telling the truth. Their cons were flawless.

"It's a real long shot, Dad. I mean I'd just be happy with UC Berkley."

The doorbell rang and I squeezed Charlie tighter as I fought back tears.

"As much as I love the affection, Bells, that's probably the guys with the cruiser." He pushed his chair back, the metal scratching against the linoleum. "I'll be right back."

I paced back in forth in the kitchen as Charlie made his way to the front door. The door opened and I heard Dean's smooth voice fill the air.

"Hello, sir, I'm Dean Hagar and this is Sam Winchester. We're recruiters with Stanford. We're here to speak to you and Isabella." I didn't have to be standing there to know Dean plastered on a fake toothy smile to go along with his new persona.

"Recruiters?" Charlie asked puzzled.

"Well, Isabella sent in a flawless application and wowed us with her essay. She really shows great promise as a writer, and we'd love to take her to the campus so she can see what we have to offer," Sam added.

I peeked around the corner and saw Sam with his hair slicked back wearing a light blue polo shirt that had the college emblem embroidered over the chest. Dean was clean shaven and his hair had been styled somewhat. He still wore his leather jacket, but his outfit looked more professional. His button-down was tucked in, and he wore a new pair of jeans that didn't have any rips in them. He actually looked really good... _They_, I corrected myself and quickly turned away, hoping to hide the blush forming on my cheeks. It was all part of the job; _they_ had roles they needed to play, and smooth talking, good-looking Dean Winchester was just one of many.

"Isn't it a little early for recruiting, boys? She's only just started her senior year."

I made my way to Charlie's side and smiled shyly at the brothers. "What's going on, Dad?"

"Ah, Isabella is it?" Dean stretched out his hand for me to shake. "Dean Hagar, and this is Sam Winchester. I'm very happy to meet you."

"Ummm, it's just Bella." He was really laying it on thick. Dean Hagar? Where the hell did he come up with that name. I wondered why Sam decided to keep his own. It was a bold move...Charlie could easily track us once we left using their real last name. As much as it pained my to do so, I had to trust him; they probably had their reasons.

Dean continued in a stern voice, "Admissions read the piece of creative-writing you submitted with your application." He looked back to Charlie and wagged his finger at me. "Sir, your daughter has quite the imagination. She wrote a story about a teenage girl falling in love with a vampire. Very _Romeo and Juliet_. They think she could be the next big author...given the right education, and Stanford is willing to offer her that."

My eyes had to have been bugging out of my head. Dean just stood there, bright green eyes and a wide smile. Ugh, I could just kill him!

"Wow, Bells. _Vampires_... Really?" Charlie asked, nodding his head, trying to figure out where I had come up with such a thing. I started to choke on the spit that had pooled in my mouth. "You okay?"

I nodded my head frantically. This was not part of the plan. Dean probably thought he was being cute. After I left with them, I'd figure out a way to get him back.

"We were hoping she, would be willing to come to California with us, get a feel for the campus, meet some important people. The head of the English Department is eager to meet her. We know she's still in school but this is a great opportunity I'm sure they will understand.. We can write a note, and they can excuse her from classes."

"That's a really nice offer, but I'm afraid I can't take any time off work," Charlie explained. "It's kind of short notice."

I rested my hand on Charlie's shoulder. "Dad, I don't think they meant for you to come."

"To hell I'm not. You're not traipsing across the country with these two strangers. The last time you took off... Bella, no!"

"We completely understand, sir," Sam added. "It's just, this is a great opportunity for Isabella. She'll be meeting with some of the admission board members. If she wows them, they may be able to help her obtain some scholarships."

Charlie brought his hand to his mustache and rubbed it. _'At least I'll know where she's going this time. And it's for her education, not some pale jerkface with bad hair that thinks she'll come running back to him...'_

I covered my own mouth with my hand, stifling a laugh. Sam gave me a questioning look, and I just shook my head. Charlie didn't really care for Edward and listening to him actually express it was kind of funny.

"I don't know," Charlie started, "I'm not comfortable with you leaving with two boys all by yourself."

"You can call the college, check our credentials," Dean offered.

I glared at him, urging him to shut up. Didn't he know Charlie would call to verify the two men bringing me to California were the real deal? He would even pull a background check just to be safe. Dean was either too cocky or incredibly stupid.

Sam noticed my worry and added, "She'll be in good hands, sir. We promise to keep her safe."

"Alright, well I'm going to make a few phone calls. Bells, how long do you need to pack?"

"A few hours," I stated plainly, completely in awe of how flawless their plan had gone down.

"We'll go grab a bite to eat and then come back. I think we saw a diner when we were driving thorough," Sam suggested.

The men started to turn around and Charlie caught a glimpse of the same car I saw this morning. "Is that a '67 Chevy Impala?" Charlie asked as his eyes lit up.

"Yes, sir, that's my baby," Dean said proudly.

Charlie walked out of the door and made his way to the car, Dean and Sam following. Charlie circled the car admiring its curves and perfect paint job. "I always wanted one of these, you know? Four door, hard top..." His hand reached out to touch it, but he looked at Dean for permission. Dean gave him a cocky nod as Charlie caressed the car. "I even tried to talk the department into getting them as cruisers...that didn't go over to well," he said as he laughed to himself. "Guess you'll be traveling in style, Bells."

"Glad to know all it takes is a nice car and a friendly face for you to send your daughter packing," I said sarcastically.

Dean got into the driver's seat and Sam sat down next to him. Dean started the engine, and it roared to life. Charlie closed his eyes in satisfaction, listening to the loud purr. Sam waved gently at me while Dean brought his hand to his forehead in a mock salute to Charlie. After watching them drive away, Charlie pulled me into his side.

"Don't worry, Bells," he said, "I memorized the license plate."

Dean had told me to pack light. The fake recruiter story bought us a week, maybe two tops. If I brought everything with me that I wanted to, Charlie would definitely become suspicious. It would look pretty funny toting the same cactus I brought with me when I first moved to Forks. I buried my laptop at the bottom of the bag; it had all my research and there was no way I was leaving it. I pulled open my dresser drawer and tossed in all the clean pairs of socks and underwear I owned. There was no telling when the next time I'd be able to do laundry was. I was already wearing my favorite jeans, so I grabbed a second pair and few long-sleeve and short-sleeve shirts and threw them in. I pushed down on the contents of the duffel bag so it would close and zipped it shut.

The supposed drive was at least fifteen hours and since we would be leaving in the middle of the day, I knew we'd have to stop somewhere over night. I wondered how Charlie felt about that. He didn't seem too worried. He couldn't stop talking about that stupid car and how nice those boys were. Sam was nice; the verdict was still out on Dean. Just as I placed my pillow on top my bag, Charlie slowly opened my bedroom door.

"Hey, kiddo."

"Hey, Dad."

"All packed and ready to go?" he asked, a sad smile forming on his lips. It killed me to look at him, so I just nodded and kept my head down. "Hey, why so glum? This is what you wanted, isn't it?"

_If he only knew what I really wanted._

"Yeah, it's just...I'm gonna miss you." I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. I had no idea if and when I would see Charlie again...or if I'd still be human.

"It's only a week, Bella. And if you want to come home for any reason, you just pick up that phone and I'll come get you."

I pulled away and nodded. "I love you, Dad.

"Love you too, kid." Not much for emotion, Charlie quickly bent over and picked up my bag, pretending to throw out his back. "What do you have in here? Bricks?"

I shook my head and laughed. "I'm a girl...I had to make sure I have an outfit for every occasion."

"I guess Alice finally rubbed off on you." Charlie looked over to me and saw my pained expression.

My face wasn't contorted in pain but more concentration. I knitted my brows together and stared at Charlie. Thinking about Alice didn't cut as deep as letting my mind wander to _him_. The masochistic part of me wanted to know what he thought about the Cullens. Did he blame all of them breaking me or just Edward ? He saw the change in me when Edward and I first got together, like I finally belonged somewhere. What father wouldn't want that for his daughter? The Cullens accepted me with open arms, and I was finally putting roots down. Charlie had to have been ecstatic over me wanting to stay in Forks...wanting to stay with him. All of that was quickly thrown away as I retreated into myself and depression threatened to pull me under. As I stared in silence, hoping to hear how Charlie really felt, he gave me a worried look.

"Jeez, Bella, that just came out. I'm sorry. I know you miss her...miss _them_."

"It's...it's okay, Dad." My stuttering mirrored my befuddlement. Why couldn't I hear him? "It's good that I'm getting away from here. Maybe I'll make some new friends," I said with a false, hopeful tone in my voice.

Of course I wouldn't meet anyone I could actually call a friend like Alice, but maybe joining the Winchesters wouldn't be so bad. Sam was really smart and kind. I got along with him perfectly well. Dean on the other hand...I couldn't honestly say how I felt about him. Maybe we got off on the wrong foot. I didn't exactly paint myself in the best light when I told him about Edward. Up until now, he had only ever faced off with truly evil things. All the vampires he had encountered were in fact bloodthirsty monsters. Sam hinted at his brother going through a hard time. I of all people could understand that. Maybe if we spent some time together, and I proved myself to him, he'd lighten up. I made a mental note to learn everything I could from the brothers.

I heard the rumble of an engine as we finally made our way down the stairs. Charlie opened the door just as Sam was about to knock. I could see Dean sitting in the car, tapping his hands against the steering wheel and singing along to the music.

"I could hear that car all the way down the block. I hope Mr. Hagar plans to drive a lot safer with Bella in the car."

"Of course," Sam said, nodding. "We just love what we do and got a little excited."

I rolled my eyes at Sam before turning to Charlie. He pulled me into his chest and tucked my head under his chin. "Just remember, you can always come home," he whispered. I knew his words didn't only pertain to my so-called recruitment trip. I didn't have to be a mind-reader to know what he meant. He wanted me to know I could always come home to him...if going away to school wasn't right for me, there would always be a place for me in Forks. "Their stories checked out." He motioned his head toward Sam and said, "This one is pre-law. Pretty smart if you ask me. You should get to know him better." _Eww. Was Charlie trying to pimp me out? _"The other one is a new hire. Couldn't pull up much of anything on him. You'll be okay, Bells. You always are."

Sam kept himself busy by taking an unnecessarily long time lifting my bag and placing it over his shoulder.

"Bye, Dad," I said, walking toward Sam.

"Bye, Bells." Charlie stood in the doorway and watched us walk to the car.

Sam opened the passenger door to the backseat and helped me in. He quickly threw my bag in the trunk before getting into the car. I pushed my back into the leather interior and sat perfectly still. I squeezed my eyes shut forcing away the tears. I had to be strong and I had to be brave. I couldn't cry for a life that didn't belong to me anymore.

"Your Dad seems like a pretty cool guy." The tone of Dean's voice caught me off guard. He didn't have that gruff tone I was accustomed to. When he wasn't patronizing me or just being plain rude, his voice was soothing. It was deep and resonating where Edward's was melodic and velvety. I could have listened to Edward all day and night, letting his smooth voice wash over me. Dean on the other hand, his voice stirred something deep within my chest. I felt it in my gut and it made me squirm in my seat.

"He is," I said, somewhat distracted.

"Well, we know he has great taste in cars," Dean added a slight chuckle falling from his lips. He stole a glance at me in the rear view mirror. His eyes were incredibly green and soft.

I gave him a small half-smile before quickly averting my eyes. "Yeah, he always loved Chevys, especially the Impala."

Dean mocked placing a hand over his chest. "Man after my own heart."

I quietly laughed at Dean's antics. He was trying to cheer me up and it worked...a little. Why had he chosen to warm up to me? Did Sam say something to him so he would lay off? I lowered my head and started to chew on my thumb nail. Closing my eyes, I tried to concentrate and see if I could hear any thoughts. It was completely silent, no Dean, no Sam. Maybe I just needed to practice.

I looked back up and saw Dean was still staring at me in the mirror. I felt heat rising up my back and spreading over my neck and chest. Pulling the collar of my shirt away, trying to cool off, I swallowed thickly. "Are we really going to California?" My throat was dry and it came out as more of a squeak.

"Not a chance," Dean answered and smiled, bobbing his head to the music and pantomiming drums in the air.

"You were right, Bella. Your father is incredibly smart. He actually called the school," Sam explained.

My eyes widened in shock. "Ww...what did they say to him?"

"Don't worry, sweetheart. We had all our bases covered." Dean turned to Sam and smiled. "Sammy here is still listed as a student at Stanford."

"You go to Stanford?" I asked surprised. That must have been why he kept his last name. I felt a little less guilty knowing part of the story we told Charlie was true.

It wasn't that I didn't think Sam was smart enough to go somewhere like Stanford. He most definitely was...I just had a hard time picturing him having a normal college life when he was surrounded by so many strange things. I knew after I found out about the Cullens, and the supernatural world, there was no going back for me.

"Did," Sam replied flatly. Obviously it was a touchy subject, and I felt horrible for bringing it up.

"So if we're not really going to California, where are we going?"

"Rockford, Illinois," Dean replied.

"That's a lot of ground to cover," I said.

"Good thing I drive fast." Dean mashed his foot to the gas, and I flew back in the seat watching the trees and sky whiz by. "Good tune!" Dean reached over to the stereo and turned up the volume and sang along. "I can't drive fifty-five... See, even Sammy agrees." He turned around to see if his comment threw me off guard, thinking he was speaking about his brother, but instead I smiled mischievously. The insanely fast drum beat followed by shredding guitar riffs filled the speakers.

"If Sammy Hagar..." I stressed the name so he knew I followed his reference, especially his last name choice earlier "...told you to drive us off a bridge, would you?"

"Well this is promising," Dean muttered.

"What is?" I asked as I watched Sam roll his eyes in the mirror.

"You know good music..."

"Good?" I interrupted with a laugh. I scrunched my nose and frowned slightly, shaking my head. "I would hardly call Sammy Hagar good. He was his best in Van Halen...but even then, I'd take David Lee Roth any day. Personally, I think he should hang up the mic and stick to making tequila."

Dean's eyes just about bugged out of his head. A wide, victorious smile spread across my lips. Renee's groupie ways finally payed off. All those years with her following her favorite musicians around and drilling every miniscule detail into me finally paid off. I didn't particularly care for her choice in music, but I could hold my own in musical trivia.

"I like her, Sammy," Dean said.

I closed my eyes and attempted to hear what else Dean had to say about me. I didn't know why I cared, but a gnawing voice in the back of my mind was dying to know if there was more to his statement.

_Silence. _This was going to get really annoying; I couldn't hear anything besides the screeching of Sammy Hagar's voice. It only made sense when I got Edward's gift, something had gone wrong. Instead of being able to read everyone's mind except for one person, I got some half-assed version of it that only worked when it wanted to. I kept my eyes closed and rested my head against the window. The jostling of the car speeding down the road and Dean singing along with the radio put me to sleep.

* * *

E/N – So what do we think? Will we be seeing Charlie again? Do you think he bought their story? What are we feeling about Dean? Do you think Sammy said something to him or maybe he's just seeing Bella for who she really is? Reviews make me happier than traveling cross country in a sexy car with two fine ass men.

*For those of you a lot younger than me, Van Halen is an American hard rock band that was formed in 1972. David Lee Roth was their original lead singer and was replaced by Sammy Hagar from 1985-1996. Sammy Hagar had a solo career as well and one of his most popular songs was called "I Can't Drive 55".


	4. Good Cop, Bad Cop

A/N – Thanks for all the reviews and story alerts. They are definitely the highlight of my day! This story has a rating of M for a reason. Nothing too graphic, but it does allude to some citrus. Don't get all excited just yet. It's still a slow burn, but we have a telepath on our hands so there's no telling what she's going to see. I didn't sell my soul to the crossroads demon, but I did sell that and so much more to my wonderful Team Bean. Anything that really grabs in this story is most likely their doing.

Disclaimer: I still don't own any of it. I wonder how much money I'd need to buy Dean for the night. Maybe just a few beers and some Zeppelin. I did borrow some stuff from the Asylum episode in season one.

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Chapter 4 – Good cop, Bad cop

I threw my forearm across my face to shield my eyes from the glaring sun. That was definitely a new experience. I had got so accustomed to the perpetual state of rain and clouds that Forks had to offer, the sunlight was harsh and unyielding. My body was stiff, and I arched my back off of the seat for some relief. I moaned as my vertebra cracked one by one. Sleeping in a car wasn't comfortable at all.

"Hey," Dean called in a gruff voice, "those shoes better not be scuffing the leather."

I sat up and ran a hand through my hair, blinking the sleep out of my eyes.

"Dean, give her a minute to wake up before you drill her on car etiquette," Sam said, turning to me and giving me soft smile. "How did you sleep?"

"As good as could be expected." I turned side to side trying to crack my lower back.

"Don't worry, Bella, we don't always sleep in the car. We usually stay in a motel."

"Yes!" Dean exclaimed. "Maybe they'll finally stop thinking we're together."

Sam shook his head and I blushed thinking about the two of them asking for one room. I looked out the window and took in my surroundings. We were no longer enveloped by lush green forests, not one redwood in sight. We drove across a newly paved bridge as we got closer to the center of a town. There were tall brick buildings and the occasional monument. A large orange monstrosity, that basically looked like a bunch of spray-painted sheet metal, stood smack dab in the middle welcoming us to Rockford's "Downtown Mall". I wondered what kind of case we'd be working on that brought us to such a normal city. I figured ghosts and things of that nature would be pretty inconspicuous. It seemed like they'd stand out like a sore thumb in a place like this.

"This is where the case is?" I asked, questioning our surroundings.

"Actually, we have to drive another twenty miles. There's an abandoned asylum on the outskirts of town that we believe is haunted," Sam explained as he scoured a newspaper article.

I started to pick at my thumb nail and nervously bit my lip. "Haunted by what exactly?"

I knew we'd be up against this sort of thing, but it was still hard to swallow the ghost element. Vampires, shifters, even the Wendigo...they were all tangible things. I'd never really given much thought to ghosts, but I didn't think they were evil spirits. My mother used to joke about our house in Phoenix being haunted because she could never find what she was looking for. She had said ghosts liked to play games and move things around because they were bored in the afterlife. I didn't have the heart to tell her she was just scatterbrained and couldn't remember where she put her things last. The Winchesters were convinced whatever it was we were hunting was evil, otherwise we wouldn't be here. Not knowing what would be waiting for us made me uneasy.

Dean looked in the rear view and smiled at me. "Nothing to be nervous about, sweetheart. Just some angry ghosts that are probably possessing people, causing them to commit violent crimes."

I looked out the window and noticed we were in a residential community. The houses were so big, Charlie's house could fit into one of their garages. They had perfectly manicured lawns and brand new cars parked in the driveway. Joggers passed us and waved. Women were walking their kids in strollers. This place looked too perfect, too happy to imagine anything as horrible as a murder suicide.

Sam had read the article to us as we drove to Officer Gunderson's home. Apparently, he and his partner were called in to investigate a break in at the old asylum. They found some teenagers that had broken in on a dare. Later that night when he got off of his shift, his partner, Officer Kelly, went home, shot his wife dead, and then turned the gun on himself.

Dean parked the car in front of one of the houses, and he and Sam got out and walked around to the back of the car. I opened my door and followed them. Dean popped open the trunk and tossed a badge at Sam and grabbed one for himself.

"Maybe you should wait in the car." Dean placed a hand on my shoulder, stilling my movement. "You look a little young to be posing as a cop."

Sam shrugged in agreement. I looked over to Sam and then back to Dean, shaking my head. "Are you stupid? That guy _is _a cop." I pointed over to the house. "He's going to spot those fake ids a mile away."

"Thanks for the concern, sweetheart, but we've never had a problem before." He started to walk past me but Sam grabbed his shoulder.

"Just hear her out, Dean." I gave him a small smile. Sam at least tried to make me feel included.

"I suppose you have a better idea?" Dean asked, pursing his lips, staring me down.

"Actually I do." I jogged over to the front door and knocked. A black man with a bushy mustache and a small pot belly answered the door. He had an angry frown on his face. _'Please don't be another reporter.'_

Thanks to my mind-reading finally deciding to work, I knew I had to change my plan. I closed my eyes and took a long deep breath. Somehow I managed to muster up false tears. When I opened my eyes, his face softened.

"Can I help you?"

"You don't know me but my name is Bella. You were Uncle Walter's partner, right?" I asked in a small voice.

He nodded solemnly. "You know your uncle. He was a good man, a good cop."

I nodded in understanding. "I know. That's why I'm here. I'm just trying to make sense of this tragedy. If there's anything you know...anything that would help me figure this out."

"I've already told the authorities everything I know..."

I looked over my shoulder and saw Dean leaning against his car keeping a careful eye on me. "See those guys over there?" I pointed with my thumb and the man nodded. "I hired private investigators to get to the bottom of this. I know you've already gone through it all, but I would feel so much better if my guys were on the case too. Uncle Walter was my favorite uncle, and I just won't be able to sleep until we know what really happened." My eyes scanned his facing, begging him to comply. He slowly nodded, and I walked back over to Dean and Sam.

"Strike out, sweetheart?" Dean stood up straight, puffed up his chest, and asked, "Ready to let the pros handle this?"

I squared my shoulders and pressed my lips together in a thin smile. "Actually, he wants to talk to you. I told him I hired private investigators to look into my uncle's death," I said confidently.

Sam nodded his head in approval and smiled. "Nice one, Bella."

"Thanks," I said, turning my back to Dean and smiling at Sam. At least someone appreciated me.

They walked over to Officer Gunderson and started to ask him questions. I stood behind them and let them do their thing. Both Dean and Sam were extremely thorough. Dean asked most of the questions while Sam jotted down every detail. Every now and then Sam would add a follow-up question, something that seemed insignificant enough to Officer Gunderson, but pertained to our case.

"What were you doing at the asylum anyway," Dean asked, tilting his head to the side slightly.

"We got a call about a break-in. Kids like to prove how tough they are by spending a night there. We told them to leave and we called it a night."

"So the legend says it's haunted?" Sam asked.

"Yeah." Officer Gunderson shook his head and laughed softly. "No one really believes it. Supposedly, the spirits of the patients will drive you insane." _'She's gonna think I'm crazy. Maybe that's what happened to Walter. No, I can't think like that.'_

"But you believe it, don't you?" I asked softly, encouraging him to answer us truthfully. Dean shot me a warning look. I tapped on my head with my index finger. My attempt at being subtle was lost on him. I silently mouthed the words, "Trust me." Dean rolled his eyes and turned back to Officer Gunderson.

"I've seen a lot of things," Officer Gunderson explained, "but when Walter came out of that asylum, it's like something changed in him. His face had this blank stare, like someone else was pulling the strings."

"Did anything out of the ordinary happen while you were in there?" Dean asked.

"No, we followed protocol. Walter was a by-the-book cop. He was trying his hardest to make Detective..." he trailed off for a minute, and I could see him replay the events in his mind. "Actually, now that you mention it, we got separated. I waited at the cruiser for about five minutes. I was just about to call for back-up and then he showed up."

Dean, Sam, and I all exchanged a knowing look. "Thanks, Officer Gunderson. This really helps," I gave him a small smile.

We walked back to the car and Officer Gunderson waved before slowly closing the door. I slid into the backseat and was practically bouncing with excitement and adrenaline. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be. The way the pieces fell into place, how every detail unraveled another facet of the story, it was better than any mystery novel I had read. I saw how broken up Officer Gunderson was about his partner. The pride of knowing we would get to the bottom of it and make sure it didn't happen again was empowering. I could see how easy it would be to get wrapped up in this kind of work. I spent most of my life looking for purpose. Most of my childhood was spent taking care of my mother and even Charlie to some extent. When I met Edward, he became my reason to live. Everything I wanted in life included him. Now that he was gone, I didn't know what to do with myself. The hunt was a great distraction; it gave me something to do until I could be with Edward again. Whether Dean wanted to admit it or not, they needed me. They would have never been able to get all that information without me.

I leaned forward on the seat, poking my head between the two of them in the front seat. "So now what? Do we go to the asylum now...or should we wait till nightfall? It would be less conspicuous, and we could recreate the environment. More likely to have activity that way," I rambled off my ideas, unable to contain my excitement.

"Cool your jets, Nancy Drew," Dean grumbled. "This is our show. We do things our way."

"She has a point, Dean," Sam argued. "You know spirits follow an M.O. They can appear at certain hours of the day."

Dean started the car, unwilling to acknowledge me, and pulled away from Officer Gunderson's house. "Yeah, the freaks always come out at night."

I sat back in my seat and glared at the back of his head. What the hell was his problem with me? He was starting to remind me of Edward with his mood swings. One minute he was civil, even trying to make me laugh and the next was annoyed with me. At least Edward had his reasons for keeping his distance. What was Dean's excuse? Was I just some silly little girl he felt obligated by a higher calling to keep safe?

_'She's good at this, but I'm not going to let it go to her head. She has a lot to learn and needs to toughen up. Cocky hunters get killed.'_

Apparently, Dean thought I was being cocky. I wasn't trying to act like I knew everything. It was just nice to be able to help for a change. The Cullens spent so much time trying to keep their delicate little human safe, it was suffocating. I wanted to feel useful. I wanted to be needed.

"Just for the record, I know I have a lot to learn, but I'm never going to learn anything if you keep acting like a condescending asshole." I instantly covered my mouth, shocked I spoke what I was thinking out loud.

Dean chuckled. "Stop poking around in my head, sweetheart..." a mischievous smirk danced across his lips in the mirror "...you may not like what you see there."

_Images of me on my back, splayed out across the hood of his car as he climbed on top of me filled my mind. He ground his hips against my own as his hands grabbed my shirt and lifted it up. He roughly palmed one of my breasts and tucked his face into my neck, nipping, grunting, and growling. My mouth fell open as a warmth spread across my chest and down in my belly. My breathing picked up to compensate for my erratically beating heart. I squirmed in the backseat, squeezing my legs together as I felt my cheeks redden. _

"Or maybe you will..." Dean added as the corners of his mouth turned up, looking thoroughly pleased with himself.

"You're a jerk." I moved to the far corner of the backseat on Sam's side. I wanted as much distance from Dean as possible. _He just did that to screw with me_, I thought. There was no way that someone like him would ever think of me like that.

_'Holy shit! That was pretty hot. I always wanted to do that...but what the hell was she doing in my fantasy?'_

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, trying to silence him. I brought my legs up to my chest and hugged them. Somehow I managed to seep into his subconscious. It seemed as if he was just as shocked to see me there as I was. I easily brushed it off when he called me jail-bait and commented on my breasts. He was a man...a horny one at that, and I wasn't meant to hear what he was thinking. This time, seeing us together like that, feeling what his hands on my body did to me, his mouth...it elicited a response I wasn't ready for. Moisture began to pool between my legs, and it was getting exceedingly hotter in the car. My lungs felt as if I couldn't push enough air into them.

_'I really have to get this girl out of my head. I need to be protecting her...not thinking about fucking her.'_

Dean's crass words made me cringe. I had thought about what it would be like to have sex with Edward. It was nothing like what I saw in Dean's mind. Edward would be gentle...almost too gentle. He'd stare at me adoringly and tell me how much he loved me. I couldn't deny the primal reaction Dean's thoughts provoked in me. He was right. I really needed to get out of his head. The problem was I had no idea how to control my mind-reading. It came in spurts. It was almost like I had to be tuned into the right radio station to hear anything.

I concentrated on the sound of the tires against the road to silence whatever unwanted thoughts tried to make their way into my head. Relief washed over me as I rested my head against the cool glass window. I took long deep breaths to try calm my rapidly beating heart. _Traitorous libido_, I thought. How could something so broken and dead be brought back to life so easily. _Natural physical response,_ I told myself. It meant nothing. I darted my eyes to the mirror and noticed Dean's intent green eyes focused on me. An unwelcome pang twisted and squeezed my heart, coaxing beats from it. I didn't know what I was feeling toward Dean, but on those rare occasions when our eyes met, I felt _something_. I had been numb for so long, I forgot what it was like to feel anything. I quickly turned my head back to the window and found myself wondering how long he had been staring at me.

Sam looked back at me and then at Dean and could feel the tension. "Why don't we check into a motel? We have some time to kill, and we have no clue how long this hunt is going to take."

Dean pursed his lips and swallowed. He gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turning bright white. "I think we drove past one on the way to Officer Gunderson's."

I knew I had promised myself I wouldn't read his mind anymore, but I desperately wanted to know what was putting him on edge.

The sky was just turning pink as we pulled into the motel parking lot. There were hardly any cars and the vacancy sign kept blinking on and off like there was a short in the wiring. Dean parked the car in front of the main office and got out. Sam and I followed suit.

"It's a little too Norman Bates for my liking," he said, shoving his car keys into his pocket and walking toward the front door.

Sam walked next to him and I followed closely behind them. I wasn't sure what our story was. Were we traveling together? Was I getting my own room? "Hopefully, we won't find any cross-dressing psychos," I said with a snicker.

Dean turned around a gave me a genuine smile. When he really smiled, his eyes lit up and it was disarming. I quickly looked to the ground and sucked my lower lip into my mouth.

"Hitchcock fan?" he asked. I nodded still keeping my eyes downcast. He opened the door, still looking at me, and held it open. "Ladies first." I blushed and walked under his arm. "Actually, I was talking to Sammy."

Sam walked through the door and scowled at Dean. "Jerk."

Dean jutted his chin out and responded, "Bitch."

After an extremely awkward exchange with the manager of the motel, we got the keys to a room with two double beds. The man naturally assumed Sam and Dean were lovers and started to check them into a room with only a king sized bed. Then he saw me out of the corner of his eye and made some off handed comment about it being the kinkiest threesome he'd ever seen. It obviously wasn't the first time someone thought Dean and Sam were together and Dean's response showed his aggravation.

Dean slammed his fist on the desk and narrowed his eyes. "Look, buddy, she's our sister. So whatever twisted thing you're thinking right now, I suggest you get it right out of your mind or I'll beat it out of you."

Sam pulled his brother away from the desk and attempted to rein him in. "It's not a big deal. This happens all the time." Sam rolled his eyes at the manager and brushed it away with his hand. He leaned into Dean to whisper in his ear. I really wanted to know what was going on, so I tried to listen carefully but I couldn't make out what they were saying. I focused on Sam and Dean and suddenly I could hear the conversation as clear as day...in my head.

_'What's with you, man?' Sam asked._

_'Nothing, dude. I just didn't like what he was insinuating, especially the way he was leering at Bella.'_

Sam turned back to me and smiled, trying to show me everything was okay. I smiled back, not wanting either of them to suspect I was listening in. I didn't notice the man looking at me funny. Then again, I was never the most observant person. Dean's anger couldn't have been over me. He was just stressed out about the hunt.

We walked down the hall and made our way to our room. Dean unlocked the door and we all stood back taking in the décor. The wallpaper was hideous. Orange and brown were just not meant to go together, in any pattern, especially geometric. The counter top was made out of dark wood and had a metal top that was polished to a mirror finish. The bedding was equally puke worthy. Whoever designed this room should have been shot. Both beds had gray silk sheets and a gold lamé comforter. It took me a minute to figure out where all the sparkles were coming from. Sam looked up and I followed his gaze. Instead of normal light fixtures, we were met with disco balls.

"Is this some kind of joke?" I asked, looking around in disbelief.

Sam's mouth was pressed into a thin line. " I swear they see us and give us the worst room imaginable."

Dean hopped on the bed, feeling the mattress. "At least it's comfortable."

I nervously looked around and only saw the two beds. "Umm...what are the sleeping arrangements?"

"You should take one of the beds," Sam suggested. "Dean and I can fight for the other one."

"Maybe you won't have to. Maybe this will be an easy hunt and we can just be on our way after we stop the spirit," I offered.

"Bella, you've never gone on a real hunt before." He actually didn't sound condescending. "It takes a lot out of you. You're probably going to want to come back here to regroup. Don't worry, I'll take the floor. That shag rug just screams, 'lay on me'," Dean said with a smirk.

I had started to pace the room, looking out the window, waiting for the night sky to fall. Sam had his laptop on his bed and Dean sat at the bar, cleaning his gun.

"Any idea of what we're up against?" Dean asked as he swiped a brush down the barrel.

"All I can find is an article about a riot that took place in the 60s. Apparently the south wing housed all the really violent patients. A bunch of people died, including a Dr. Ellicott," Sam explained as he scrolled down the page.

"South Wing sounds like a good place to start. Violent patients...a murdered doctor...sounds like a win to me." Dean placed his handgun down and started to load shells into a shotgun.

I walked over to Dean and stood behind his chair, looking down at the counter. "Bullets kill ghosts?"

Dean looked over his shoulder and smiled, holding up a shotgun shell. "These are made out of rock salt. They can't cross a barrier of salt and if they come in contact with it...and it hurts like a bitch. If I shoot them with one of these, it makes them go away―temporarily. The only way to actually send them back is to burn their remains."

"And the 1911?" I asked, nodding toward .45 caliber handgun. It was stainless steel with custom engraving and ivory grips. Even Charlie would be impressed with that firearm.

He turned his body to me and raised an eyebrow. "You know about guns?"

I gave him a sheepish smile. "My father's a cop, remember? I gotta say, I'm a Springfield girl."

Dean laughed bitterly. "Figures, considering they're government-owned. Is that what your father shoots?"

I shook my head, ignoring his acidic tone. "I personally think it's a better gun. Just because Colt was first doesn't make it better." My words were laced with meaning. I wanted him to know that he may have been at this hunting thing a lot longer than I had, but it didn't mean I couldn't hold my own.

Dean pursed his lips and nodded. "Alright, I get it. I carry a handgun just in case we run into something that responds well to lead."

"Guys, we should get going." Sam walked over to us with some sort of electronic device.

"What's that?" I asked, nodding to the equipment in his hand.

"Oh this?" He held it up so I could get a better look. "It's an EMF meter. It reads electromagnetic fields. The higher the level, the more supernatural activity."

I opened my mouth to speak and then shut it. I tried to understand what Sam was saying, but it was just lost on me. "I'm just gonna take your word on that. I was never good with science."

Sam put the meter in his pocket while Dean finished loading his mag and clicked it in place. "Ready?"

"Let's rock and roll," Dean said, grabbing his leather jacket and throwing it on.

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E/N – If you think it ended abruptly, it's because the original chapter was close to 10k words. I split it up into two parts and this is just where the break naturally fit. I want to try something different this time. Reviewers get a teaser of the next chapter!

Reviews are almost as good as Dean taking you on the hood of the Impala. Notice how I said almost? Nothing beats that.


	5. What's Up Doc?

A/N – I guess a little bribing worked. I loved hearing what everyone thought about the chapter. Special thanks to my Team Bean girls. I'm still borrowing from the Asylum episode, but I switch things up Maxipoo style. I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight or Supernatural. Quotes from The Shining and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest belong to their respective owners.

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**Chapter 5 – What's Up, Doc?**

The tires of the Impala kicked up dirt and rocks as as we drove down an unlit, dirt path to get to the asylum. It was straight out of a scary movie. There was something very gothic about the structure: several brick building smashed together in a cluster, peaked roofs and windows covered in iron bars. The elements had taken their toll on its appearance. Large piles of rubble surrounded the main building as forest-green ivy had worked its way into the framework.

I was tempted to ask for my own gun as Dean grabbed the shotgun from the trunk, but I decided against it. I gripped my flashlight tightly as we walked toward the abandoned asylum. The door was locked with a heavy chain and a master lock. They must have locked it back up after they kicked those kids out. Sam picked up large rock from the ground and smashed the lock until it broke.

"Stay close," Dean ordered as he and Sam walked into the asylum.

Sam held the EMF meter up to the wall, and the thing started going nuts. "Looks like we got something."

I flashed my light down the hall and jumped, grabbing Dean's arm, when I saw a rat scurry across the floor.

"It's just a rat, sweetheart." I felt stupid for being scared of something so small, but ever since setting foot on the asylum grounds, a chill had crept into my bones, and I couldn't shake the feeling that we were being watched. I stayed close as he instructed, gripping onto the back of his leather jacket as we navigated the dark hallway.

There were several locked doors on either side of us. Dean tackled the right, trying every door, while Sam worked on the left. We slowly made our way to the stairwell, but I tried one last door and to my surprise it was open. I shined my light into the room, and it looked like it had been ransacked with dilapidated shelves and books strewn about. There were even old suitcases haphazardly thrown across the room with dingy, moldy clothes pouring out of them.

"Guys, this door is open," I called. Just as I was about to wait for them to catch up, a strong force sucked me into the room and slammed the door shut behind me.

Standing in front of me was a girl maybe a few years older than me. She was a pasty shade of white, even paler than Edward with dark, sunken eyes and yellow rotted teeth. Her blonde curly hair looked like it had been hacked off with a pair of dull scissors. She inched closer to me, fading in an out like a bad picture on an old television set. I let out a blood curdling scream as she grabbed a hold of my shoulders.

"Bella!" Dean shouted.

I could see the handle of the door shaking from the inside. The ghost stared into my eyes and breathed out a cool gust of air. I tried to move out of her grasp, but I was too paralyzed with fear. She opened her mouth to speak and this awful screeching noise came out. She let go of me and brought her hand to her throat, her face full of pain when she realized she couldn't speak. I backed up into the wall, and she advanced again, opening her mouth to speak again, her eyes desperate. I covered my ears with my hands, trying to make the horrible noise stop. The ghost closed her mouth and brought her slender, crooked finger to her lips, indicating she wouldn't try to talk. She pulled my hand away from my ear and placed it in the palm of her hand.

"Bella," Dean screamed again, fists pounding on the door. "What's going on in there?" I could hear him trying to ram into the door.

She had just finished writing out the numbers one, three, and seven on my hand as Dean shot through the lock on the door and ran in. Sam shot the ghost with his shotgun and she disappeared into thin air.

"Bella, you okay?" Dean asked, still pointing his gun where the ghost would have been.

I ran up to Sam and gave him a shove. "Why did you do that?"

Dean spun me around and grabbed me by the shoulders. His touch was searing compared to how I felt when the ghost had a hold of me.

He searched my eyes, worry and concern etched on his face. "She was trying to hurt you," Dean answered. "One minute you're holding onto my arm, and the next thing I know you're being taken into a room by a ghost."

I pulled away from him and narrowed my eyes. "She wasn't trying to hurt me. She was trying to tell me something."

"What do you mean she was trying to tell you something?" Sam asked.

"Every time she tried to speak, this horrible sound like...like a cross between nails on a chalkboard and a cat in heat came out of her mouth. It was awful. She was genuinely surprised she couldn't speak."

Dean looked over to Sam for answers. Sam re-cocked the shotgun and did a quick sweep of the room before answering. "That's not completely abnormal. Sometimes ghosts try to relay messages."

"Did you find out what it wanted?" Dean asked.

I shook my head. "All I got was one-three-seven before someone decided to come in here guns a blazin'."

"What could that mean?" Dean started to pace, trying to come up with something. "A date...a birthday...patient number..." I knew Sam was the brains of the operation, but Dean wasn't a complete moron. He was going in the right direction.

All of a sudden, I found myself on the ground searching through the rubble. It was like something took over my body, pure instinct leading me. I tossed piece after trivial piece aside: dolls, random papers, tattered clothing. Unconsciously, my hands cleared through the debris until I found the prize. I picked up the small book with yellowed pages and started to flip through, finally landing on the page.

I started to read out loud. "After my last appointment with Dr. Ellicott, he said I'd be a perfect candidate for his new therapy trials. I've heard the nurses talking about it. From what I've heard, nothing good comes from it. Sally Mayweather went for her treatment last week and then was moved from our ward to the south wing. That girl didn't have a violent bone in her body."

"Bella, what you got there?" Dean asked coming over to me and looking over my shoulder.

"I think it's her journal." I flipped to the next page and the writing was barely legible. It looked like a child had scrawled in the notebook. Over and over again, on every single page until the end of the journal, had the same thing: Dr. Ellicott – 137.

"I'm willing to bet that's Dr. Ellicott's office on the south wing," Sam said.

I frowned thinking about what happened to that poor girl. "What do you think he did to her?" I asked.

Dean took the journal and slammed it shut. "We don't know that he did anything. She could be Lizzy Borden for all we know. We'll just have to go to his office and see what we can dig up," Dean said.

I narrowed my eyes at him and huffed. "Do you always see the worst in people? What if Dr. Ellicott did something to _her_..."

Sam laughed under his breath, and we turned to face him. "Ah... Dean's always been a little jaded. It's good having you around, Bella. I think you might actually be making him remember his humanity."I tensed at his words and couldn't help but think of Carlisle. He had always said the same thing about my relationship with Edward.

"Can it, Sam. We don't need your Dr. Phil bullshit right now," Dean barked.

Sam put up his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, just sayin'."

Dean stormed past us and trudged up the stairs to the south wing. I stayed by Sam's side, thinking it would be wise to give Dean a little space. Whatever Sam was hinting at back there really got under Dean's skin. We walked a few paces behind Dean and it gave me the opportunity to confront Sam.

"What were you talking about back there?"

"Ever since our mom died, my dad and Dean went on this demon hunting crusade," Sam said in a low voice. "It's like they eat, breathe, and sleep hunting. Nothing else...no one else matters."

"But you didn't?"

He scanned the walls for EMF and although the readings weren't as high as on the lower level when we encountered the ghost, it still hummed with activity. "As soon as I was old enough to leave, I did."

"Stanford?" I questioned.

Sam nodded and swallowed slowly. "Yeah, I wanted a life away from this." He motioned around the room with his hands.

"That's understandable." I started to question whether I had made the right decision, willingly choosing this life. Being a part of the Cullens seemed like the simplest thing in the world. It wasn't until I saw the longing etched on Sam's face I knew that if he had been given another choice, he would still be in California. "Why are you here?"

"Dean needed me," he said stoically.

From what I witnessed of Dean, it didn't seem like he needed anyone. I could tell he was driven by the hunt. All that mattered to him was getting the job done and moving on to the next. Whatever was missing in his life, he filled it with the body count of demons and evil spirits.

"So what? You're just going to leave when he doesn't need you anymore?" Tears started to fill my eyes as I thought of Dean doing this all by himself. I knew what it was like to be alone, to feel like no one cared about you, to have your innermost thoughts and fears consuming you and swallowing you whole.

"We're trying to find our dad, Bella. He took off on a hunt a few months ago, and we haven't heard or seen him since. He went off on a lead for the demon that killed our mom. He and Dean won't stop until that demon is dead."

"So what happens when you kill the demon? What about the prophecy about the world ending?"

"It's the same demon, Bella. Yellow Eyes was the one that killed her."

My eyes widened in shock as the puzzle pieces started to fit together. "And Yellow Eyes wants to use _us_ in his army."

The loud slamming of a door caught our attention. We frantically looked around for Dean, but he was nowhere to be found. "Dean?" Sam called. "Dean?" Sam frantically tried to pull the door of room 137 open. "It won't budge. Try those other rooms and see if you can find a way in, and I'll keep trying here."

I ran down the hall and inhaled a long breath of air. I was instantly assaulted with the strong scent of Dean: leather, black powder, and sweat. I didn't ever remember being able to distinguish the delicate notes of a person's scent before. It had to be James' gift manifesting itself. I followed the scent to a dumbwaiter. It must be connected to the room Dean was in. I looked over to Sam who was unsuccessfully trying to kick the door in. I slowly opened the chute and appraised the width. I could definitely fit in there. Carefully, I crawled on my hands and knees and lowered myself onto the small elevator. I yanked on the pulleys to see if they still worked and started to descend. Each door I passed was another floor. I couldn't see, so I had to trust my instinct. The closer I got to Dean, the stronger his smell became.

I stopped at the third door and tried to open it. I couldn't push it open with my hands, so I lay down on my back and kicked it open. I climbed out of the shaft and was met with an office that was still in pristine condition. The large mahogany desk still had its finish on it. Large steel filing cabinets lined the wall. I pulled out what I thought was a random drawer but instead was met with sketches and notes of all of Dr. Ellicott's procedures. The guy was seriously twisted. He'd strap his patients to a chair and hold their eyes open with some type of metal clamp. He'd flash violent images across a screen as well as electrocuting the patient. Some of his drawings showed what looked like an ice pick being inserted into an eye ball. I swallowed thickly, trying to stomach the graphic images. I still wasn't any closer to finding Dean, until I noticed a bookshelf.

Walking over to the shelf, I pulled out a book that just seemed to call to me.

_Psychosurgery: Intelligence, Emotion and Social Behavior Following Prefrontal Lobotomy for Mental Disorders by W. Freeman and J.W. Watts._

The minute my hand touched that book, the shelf began to spin around and open up to a spiral staircase. I grabbed a hold of the metal railing and carefully climbed down the stairs. Dean's sweat was thick in the air, and I could actually hear him talking.

"Is that an ice pick in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" Dean asked with a laugh. Even when he was tied up on a metal table, undoubtedly facing the wrath of Dr. Ellicott, he was still a smart ass.

I stood just out of Dean's range of sight. He thrashed on the table as Dr. Ellicott inched closer, hovering over him with a long, sharp needle. "As much as I love scrambled eggs, I'd appreciate if you don't scramble my brains. We all know I don't have much, so I sorta need what I got."

Just as the doctor was about to plunge the needle into Dean's eye, I noticed his sawed off shotgun on the ground. I scurried across the floor to grab it, but I tripped over the metal cart holding scalpels, clamps, forceps, and other various torture devices and fell to the ground. As the tray came crashing down on the floor, a loud clanging noise rang out and echoed through the room. Dr. Ellicott spun around faster than any vampire I had ever seen. I tried to recover quickly but within seconds he was standing over me. He had a head full of white wispy hair, and his skin looked like it was made out of thin gray paper. Pieces of flesh were torn off and hanging from his face. One eye was gouged out, leaving a gory, gaping hole. As he hovered, I could feel my heart beating in my ears as I breathed heavily.

"Hey, Doc!" Dean yelled, trying to get the ghost's attention. "Heeerrrreee's Johnny!" Dean plastered his best Jack Nicholson impression on his face.

"Wrong movie, Dean!" _Definitely nuts_, I thought. I was seconds away from becoming a vegetable via supernatural intervention and all he could think about was movie quotes.

The doctor wasn't amused and started to aim his needle for my right eye. I stretched my neck away from him as far as I could. I saw the shotgun out the corner of my eye and tried to inch my hand toward it. My fingers clawed at the ground trying to reach it as Dr. Ellicott cold breath spread over my neck.

"Ellicott!" Dean's loud booming voice filled the air and instantly grabbed the doctor's attention. "You don't want her, you want me. I'm a goddamn marvel of modern science."

He gave me just enough time to crawl away and grab the gun. When Dean saw I successfully had possession of the gun and had it positioned at Dr. Ellicott, he strained to lift his head off the table and looked at me.

"Did I get the right movie this time, sweetheart?" I just shook my head at him. It wasn't really the best time to test his movie trivia. He was either completely confident in my aim or he was just plain crazy.

Dr. Ellicott turned around and I pulled the trigger, blowing him away in a cloud of dust.

"Nice shot!" Dean said as I ran over to him and untied his restraints. "Where's Sam?"

"We got separated. He was trying to break down the door to room one-three-seven, and I was trying to find another way to get in." I didn't know how much to tell him about how I found him. I still didn't understand it myself. I'd talk it over with Sam first and see what he thought. If I told Dean the truth now, he'd probably think it was just my way of coming on to him.

"Hopefully, he had luck finding the bones," Dean said as he jumped off the table. "Come on, let's get outta here before he comes back." He grabbed my hand and started to pull me to the door.

"Wait!" I stopped in place and crinkled my nose in disgust. "Do you smell that?"

"Sorry," Dean said, smiling sheepishly. "Must have been that burrito."

"First...eww. But no, it smells like..." I raised my nose to the air and sniffed the smell out "... a decomposing..."

"Body?" Dean asked.

"Dean! I know where the doctor's remains are." I ran to the back of the room, behind the operating table, and found a metal drawer. It almost looked like a trash compactor. I yanked it open and found Dr. Ellicott's rotting body. It was basically just a skeleton covered in shreds of fabric that must have been a lab coat at one time.

"Would you look at that? Jackpot." He put his hand on my shoulder as he reached into his pocket for something. He held out a silver zippo and handed to me. Cracking open one of the shotgun shells and sprinkling rock salt on the remains he asked, "Wanna do the honors?"

I popped the top, struck the flint, and threw it in with the bones. The bright flame that ignited surprised me, and I turned my face into Dean's chest to shield my eyes. I felt a strong arm curl around me as he moved us away from the flames. "Come on, let's go," his deep, soothing voice whispered into my ear. We made our way up the stairs and into the Dr. Ellicott's office. Dean looked around and inspected the bookshelf.

"Hidden passageway, huh? How did you know?"

"I was looking over his medical journals and saw some of his therapy treatments." I involuntarily shivered, remembering the detailed and graphic diagrams. "The guy was fascinated with lobotomies."

"Yeah, the ice pick sorta gave it away." Dean walked around the room looking for another exit. I easily fit into the dumbwaiter, but there was no way a guy his size could get in there.

"I grabbed the book written by the doctors that pretty much invented it, and the bookshelf turned around."

"You're really freakin' smart, you know that? I bet you could give Sammy a run for his money." His voice was filled with nothing but fascination.

Maybe he was just grateful for me saving his life, and after tonight things would go back to normal...back to him resenting me for whatever part I played in his mother's death. I had never even seen this yellow-eyed demon they talked about. Why would this demon choose to have me in his army? Surely there were a lot more formidable warriors he could have chosen from. Whatever happened to me was a fluke. If I had never met Edward, I wouldn't even know about this world, and I wouldn't have vampire venom coursing through my veins. My powers weren't even that strong; I couldn't even utilize them when I wanted to. It was like they had a mind of their own and only showed up when they saw fit.

_'Maybe I was wrong about her. She was pretty amazing back there and the way she handled that gun definitely gave me a semi.'_

I felt my cheeks redden and hoped I could pass it off as my inability to take a compliment, which wasn't too far from the truth.

_'Yellow Eyes obviously wants her because she's good at what she does. I bet it just pisses him the fuck off to know we got to her first. There's no way I'm letting him get his hands on her. She's way too valuable.' _

I quickly lowered my eyes so I wouldn't reveal the hurt I felt from his last comment. I couldn't believe I was naive enough to think that he may actually just like me for me. It was so easy for Sam and I to get along. Why did everything with him have to be an uphill battle? I wasn't asking for much. I could really just use some friends right now. Whatever redeeming qualities he found in me were only based on my skills during this hunt. He just wanted to use me to get what he wanted―Yellow Eyes. I was okay with that for the time being since I didn't particularly enjoy being part of a plan to end the world, and I needed something out of him too. I needed him to help me find the Cullens, or at least learn enough about this life so I could go my separate way and find them on my own.

I heard the distinct rattling of a doorknob and scanned the room. I looked over to Dean as he pulled out his gun, his eyes trained on a full length portrait of Dr. Ellicott that hung on the wall. The painting vibrated right off of the wall as the rattling increased.

"You see what I'm seeing? " I asked, pointing the shotgun in the same direction.

"I thought we burnt the body..." Dean cocked the hammer back on his pistol and steadied his aim.

The painting crashed to the floor as a door swung open revealing Sam. Dean rushed toward me and lowered my barrel to the ground. I was an excellent shot but the adrenaline still pumping through me made me jittery. If Dean hadn't stopped me, I would have fired.

"I've been looking for you guys everywhere!" Sam turned to Dean and asked, "Did you get Ellicott?"

Dean shook his head and nodded his head toward me. "Not me...but this one got the gank on real good." He gave me a crooked, cocky smile and I ducked my head down.

I shook my head. "It's not a big deal."

"Yeah, because it's just the first of many." Dean threw his arm around my neck. This time it felt more like a playful gesture than a protective one.

Between the things he said, the things I heard from his mind, and the way he acted, I was having a hard time getting a read on Dean. Maybe when I spoke to Sam about my new tracking abilities, I could find out more about him. Even if Dean was tight-lipped, Sam seemed to be pretty open to talking about their past.

Sam wasn't kidding when he said the hunt would take a lot out of me. I physically had to drag myself out of the car and stumble my way across the parking lot to get to the motel room. My body ached and my mind was spinning. I had a hard time processing all the emotions running through me. I was still charged with adrenaline and the thrill of ridding the world of one less evil being.

Knowing I'd be able to go back to Officer Gunderson and tell him what happened to Walter would never happen to anyone else made it all worthwhile. I was also pretty proud of myself for being able to find Dean and save him in time, even if it was James' power and had nothing to do with me...well, except the awesome shooting. That was all me and I smiled to myself thinking about how impressed Dean was.

Sam placed his bag down on the bed and shrugged out of his jacket. "Bella, if you wanna to take the shower first go right ahead."

"Yeah, you'll probably want to get the ghost stench off you. Sammy and I are used to it by now." Dean walked over to the mini fridge and took out two beers, handing one to Sam. He popped off the top to his, wrapped his lips around the bottle, and took a long swig. I watched his Adam's apple bob up and down as he gulped the cool, amber liquid down. I quickly darted my eyes to the hideous shag rug, blushing profusely.

"Sss...sounds good," I stuttered, grabbing my toiletries and a change of clothes before scurrying off into the bathroom.

I quickly shut the door behind me and leaned against it, still clutching my things to my chest. The logical part of my brain told me it was completely normal to have this kind of response to a good-looking, warm-blooded man. It wasn't like I had to act on it. The damaged part of me, the part that still loved Edward felt like I was committing treason. I walked over to the shower and turned the faucet on all the way to hot, waiting for the warm, thick steam to fill the room. The last thing I wanted to do was look at myself in the mirror; I wasn't ready to face what I'd see there. Once I was satisfied the balmy blanket would keep my own memories from haunting me, I pulled open the shower curtain and regulated the water. Shedding out of my jeans and taking off my shirt which was now worse for wear, I hopped in and let the scalding water soothe my aching muscles. I closed my eyes and let the water run down my face. _You're beautiful, Isabella. _Edward's voice managed to haunt me over the steady stream. I traced the trickle of water down my neck and over my shoulders, imagining Edward's hands on me, his cold fingertips digging into my warm flesh. _I__ just want to try something. _The water drops hit my lips and soon I was feeling Edward's lips on my own. I steadied myself against the shower stall, feeling the cold, hard tile against my body, so badly wanting it to be him. Frantic hands worked their way up my thighs and paused in between my legs. _You're so wet for me, sweetheart. _My eyes shot open and I gasped, hearing Dean's voice instead of Edward's. It was definitely time to get out of the shower.

I wrapped the towel around me, padded over to the sink, and stood in front of the mirror. Holding my breath and bracing myself for what I would see, I carefully wiped away the fog with my hand. For the first time in what felt like forever, I wasn't haunted by Edward's golden eyes. Instead, all I could see was a stupid smirk that managed to always disarm me, and the greenest eyes I had ever seen. Being around Dean was already hard enough, but somehow he managed to worm his way into my subconscious, a place only reserved for Edward. I wasn't sure how much was actually his doing or was just me trying to get a hold of my telepathy. For once, I could actually sympathize with Edward. It was incredibly frustrating to be unable to figure out the one person you wanted to so badly.

I put on my red and blue plaid sleep shorts and one of my t-shirts from a concert Renee went to in the early 90s. I quickly ran a brush through my damp hair and picked up the rest of my things before exiting the tiny bathroom. When I emerged, Dean was sitting in a chair, dismantling both of his guns. He briefly looked over to me, lowered his eyes to my bare legs and quickly turned away, intently inspecting the shotgun barrel. I tucked my clothes into my bag and stood at the edge of the bed.

"Um...if you wanted to sleep in the bed, I could just take a blanket and probably fit in the chair over there," I said motioning to the recliner in the corner of the room. "I really don't mind. I don't sleep that well anyway..."

"It's fine, Bella. Take the bed," he said gruffly.

Inching closer to him, I swayed back and forth on my feet before speaking up. "If you haven't cleaned your Colt yet, I wouldn't mind watching. I wonder if it takes down any different than the Springfield."

He turned around and quirked an eyebrow at me. "You want to help me clean my gun?" His eyes drifted to my midsection and stared at the large letters across my chest. "Is that a Warrant t-shirt?"

I looked down, inspecting the girl in roller skates, standing in front of the word _pie_, holding a plate of cherry pie.

"This?" I pulled the shirt away from my body to get a better look. "Yeah, I guess. I don't really know them... My mom bought it for me at a concert."

"You don't like 'Cherry Pie'?" Dean asked with a shock looked on his face.

I furrowed my brow and shook my head. "What? No... I love cherry pie..."

Dean let out a deep belly laugh and said, "I was talking about the song, sweetheart...but I'm glad we both share a love for pie."

I wasn't sure how late we were up or what we even talked about. I just knew as I lay on the bed, my head firmly planted on the pillow, I slowly drifted off to sleep with the sound of Dean crooning"Cherry Pie".

_When I opened my eyes, I was stumbling through the forest again. "Edward?" I called, searching the darkness. "Edward!" The deeper I went, the more frantic my cries were. The skies cleared and I stood in front of my bed, watching Edward hover over my sleeping form._

"_Edward?" I asked, walking closer to him._

"_I'm not him," he responded in a bitter voice._

_I narrowed my eyes and took a few steps closer. "Ww..who are you," I stuttered._

"_You know who I am," he said, turning to face me. His eyes, even the whites, had turned pitch black and his voice took on a deep, distorted tone. "I'm you..." his eyes quickly changed to yellow, but not the warm gold I was accustomed to. When I first noticed Edward's eyes, I thought they were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. Although they made his seem majestic, his eyes were still very human. I could see the expression and emotion behind them. These yellow eyes had an eerie glow and seemed dead inside. The longer I looked at them, the more on edge I became. "...this is what you'll become." Edward's face contorted into pain and he no longer resembled himself. "I will have you, Bella. One way or another."_

I clawed at my sheets, a guttural scream escaping me. It felt like iron chains held me down as I thrashed around, trying to free myself.

"Bella," a soothing voice called. "Bella, wake up."

I fought against the arms that were holding me down.

"Bella, it's me. It's Dean. Wake up." I trembled in my sleep and screamed again. Dean smoothed back my hair, staring at me. "Shh..." he soothed. "You're having a nightmare."

I moved to sit up and he backed away. "Are you okay?" he asked.

I ran a shaky hand through my hair and looked down, hiding my tears, trying to catch my breath. "I'm sorry I woke you."

He shook his head and hesitantly ran his hand down my back, rubbing in a circular motion, attempting to comfort me. "It's alright. I wasn't asleep yet. That must have been some nightmare the way you were screaming. Do you get those a lot?"

"Every night."

"It's okay. It was just a dream. Go back to sleep." He guided me down to the bed and patted my head in an awkward manner. He obviously had no clue what he was doing, and I felt awful that he felt like he needed to take care of me; I didn't want to be a burden to anyone. I stole a quick glance at Sam who seemed to be in the midst of his own nightmare the way he tossed and turned in bed.

I closed my eyes again and concentrated on Dean's gentle touch as he stroked my cheek and my hair. I didn't know how long he stayed by my side, but as the morning sun poured through the shades, I knew I hadn't had another nightmare the rest of the night. And for the first time since I met Dean Winchester, I didn't mind being in the same room as him.

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E/N – Holy crap, batman! Was anyone else freaked out while they were in the asylum? I creeped myself out while writing it. So what do we make of Bella's nightmare? More importantly, what do we think about Dean attempting to comfort her? Reviews are better than watching Dean wrap his mouth around...get your minds out of the gutter...a beer bottle. Reviewers get a teaser to the next chapter!


	6. Someone Saved My Life Tonight

A/N – Welcome back! Thanks to everyone that reads, reviews, and recs this story. I'm so happy everyone is starting to fall in love with these two. I am nothing without my Team Bean girls. Some of the stuff in here may be a trigger for people. I don't want to give too much away but if you can't watch Law & Order: SVU, you may have a hard time with this chapter and the next.

I have a very special announcement at the bottom.

Disclaimer: Still don't own any of it. Title belongs to Elton John. I wish I owned some of his awesome eye wear. See if you can find the reference to the song below.

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**Chapter 6 – Someone Saved My Life Tonight**

"Sam, stop," Dean hissed.

I woke to the sound of Sam and Dean arguing. It was starting to get heated and even though I knew it was wrong to listen, I pretended to still be asleep. Whatever they were talking about had Sam so riled up, he raised his voice to his older brother.

"No, I'm not going to stop it, Dean. It's been months since Dad left, and you haven't even brought him up once. I know you. I know you must be pissed at him for up and leaving like that...leaving you behind. You're so angry you're taking it out on an innocent girl. Bella has nothing to do with this."

My ears perked up as I heard my name. Dean slammed something down on the table, and I squeezed my eyes tight, hoping I could still pull off the facade of being asleep.

"But she has something to do with Yellow Eyes, doesn't she, Sammy? Speaking of, have any more visions lately? You were pretty restless last night," Dean said in a snide voice.

"No," Sam said firmly, "but it doesn't change the fact that we need to keep her safe. You saw her in action last night. She's good..."

"Amazing," Dean corrected. I bit my lip, trying to hide the smile starting to form.

"So then you know how important it is for _him_ to get his hands on her. Just because I haven't seen any more of his plan doesn't mean she's not in danger. If he's able to sway her, turn her against us... We don't know how her powers work exactly, but if last night was any indication, she has the ability to hunt every single one of us down. There would be no hunters left. He wouldn't even need his army. And what do you think he's capable of with no one to stop him?"

"You're assuming an awful lot. I think you're giving her way more credit than she deserves. It could have been beginner's luck. Maybe she has nothing to do with Yellow Eyes at all. Maybe we were just meant to save her from the Wendigo. I think we should just bring her home."

"You can't honestly believe that. What's your problem with her exactly? One minute you're ready to use her to help track down Dad and kill the demon and the next you're ready to shove her out the door. Is it because she may be better at this than you?" A few moments of silence passed and then Sam started to laugh. "Oh, I get it. You see yourself in her, and that's something you're not ready to face. You're the other side of the spectrum, Dean. You're so angry, you use hunting to give you purpose. It's the only thing you have control over. She's obviously let her pain consume her. Those broken eyes, the way she wraps her arms around herself, physically trying to keep herself together, if you weren't on some crazy vengeful quest to track down Yellow Eyes, you'd be just like her."

It was hard to stomach what Sam was saying about me, but it didn't make it any less true. I let myself fall apart after Edward left. Dean may not have been handling his pain the way Sam wanted him to, but I could definitely learn a thing or two from him. Pain was crippling, but anger and vengeance...it gave a person purpose. Edward abandoned me just like Dean's father abandoned him. There was nothing in the world that hurt more than knowing the people you loved didn't want or need you anymore. Dean's father may have left to keep him and his brother safe, but Edward left me because he didn't want me, because I was human and wasn't good enough. I knew it was true, but for so long I thought maybe he could look past my inadequacies. Maybe once he turned me I would be as beautiful as Rosalie or even have my own special power. Instead, I was just the same plain, boring human he used as a distraction, only newly improved with extra freak. Thanks to him, my mind was a sieve and I couldn't control it. Fortunately for me, I found the Winchesters and I had my own distractions. I could throw myself into the hunt just like Dean had. Last night gave me a new found confidence and it felt good to save people.

Dean laughed bitterly. "I think you paid a little too much attention in those psychology classes. She and I have _nothing _in common."

"Alright, Dean," Sam answered sarcastically. I could hear him settle back in on his bed, so I figured it would be the perfect time to "wake up".

I sat up in bed and pulled the blanket up with me, making sure I was still covered. It wasn't the lack of clothes I was worried about; I was more concerned with baring my soul. Everything looked different in the daylight, and you couldn't hide your vulnerabilities like you could in the dark. Something shifted last night. Dean had seen me at my worst, right after one of my nightmares. He came to my rescue without a second thought. The next thing I remembered was him stroking my cheek and hair as I fell asleep. I was having a hard time reconciling his gentle touch with his harsh words from this morning.

I cleared my throat. "Morning."

"Morning, Bella. Did you sleep well?" Sam asked.

I quickly darted my eyes to Dean who had his back turned to me. I watched as he put his head down, purposely engrossing himself in reading the motel brochures from the coffee table. "Umm, yeah...thanks."

Sam gave me a questioning look and got off the bed. "Dean, why don't we go grab some food and give Bella few minutes to get herself together?"

"Sure." Dean stood up and walked over to the door without even looking at me once.

After Sam and Dean left, I crawled out of bed and latched the door behind them. I threw myself down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Things were getting more complicated than I had planned. Even Sam noticed how strange Dean was acting. Last night was out of character for him. He didn't exactly seem like the comforting type, so why did he do it? He was right to keep his distance from me this morning. Between my hallucinations and mind-reading, the lines of reality were starting to blur. If I just kept my head in the game, I could get through this. Hopefully when the brothers got back, they'd have another case for us to work. I seemed to work best in that environment, and it kept my mind occupied, leaving me with less time to think about Edward.

_Edward...yellow eyes...I will have you. _

I shivered, remembering my nightmare. I was used to running senseless into the night, trying to find him. He always seemed just out of my grasp. Last night was different. I actually caught up with him, but it wasn't him...was it? That voice, those eyes...something was very off. A part of me was angry with Dean for waking me up. I needed to know what it all meant. It was almost like Edward was possessed by a yellow-eyed demon. _Yellow Eyes_. As much as I didn't want to, I would have to talk to Sam and Dean about my nightmare. The demon was obviously trying to make contact with me for a reason. I replayed every moment, trying to figure out what it meant. Maybe Sam could shed some light on it; he had mentioned having dreams involving the demon before. After all, that was how they found me.

I quickly changed into a pair of skinny jeans and a Mötley Crüe t-shirt. Dean would probably have a comment, and I actually laughed to myself at how fitting it was. We were a motley crew: Sam with his intellect and need to internalize everything, Dean with his wisecracking and shoot first ask questions later policy, and then there was me. I still wasn't sure how I fit in. After hearing them talk about me this morning, maybe I was just a freak. I laced up my chucks and pulled my hair back into a messy ponytail. I unlocked the door and busied myself on my laptop, waiting for them to return.

Dean walked in and tossed an egg Mcmuffin at me, barely missing my face. I reached up and caught it with one hand. I brought my hand down and turned the sandwich in my hand, pretty surprised I was able to catch it. I could add sharpened reflexes to the list of vampire venom side effects. Too bad I was still a klutz.

"The only eyewitness said the attacker was invisible. And get this...it says she heard scratching on the roof. They found the body suspended upside down over the car."

My eyes widened as I heard the vivid description. I dropped my sandwich down on the wrapper, suddenly losing my appetite. Dean nodded and continued to take large bites as he listened to Sam, and I rolled my eyes at him.

Dean put the last bite into his mouth and wiped his face with a paper towel. At least he was learning manners. "That sounds an awful lot like—"

"The Hook Man," I answered. Both Sam and Dean gave me a shocked look. I shook my head so they wouldn't assume I knew what I was talking about. "I just remember it from a really bad movie. I didn't think it was real."

"Urban Legend," Dean said.

I gave him a small smile. "Yeah, that was the movie."

"No, it's one of the oldest urban legends. It's been floating around since the 1950s. Someone started it to scare the kids away from doing the nasty at drive-ins." His mouth twisted into a smirk and he got a devilish glint to his eyes. I should have known better, but I still couldn't control the mind-reading.

_'That's something I still need to check off my list.'_

_My jaw went slack as I watched Dean lower me down onto smooth leather of the back seat of the Impala. He wormed a hand between me and the seat and unclasped my bra with one hand, smirking the whole time as he threw it into the front. He reached around his back and pulled of his own shirt. The muscles of his back flexed as he held himself up with one arm and unbuckled his belt. He smiled as I traced my fingers over a pentagram tattoo on his heart. He released a sharp exhale as I reached around and scratched my nails down his back, pulling him down on top of me. He started to moan as I placed open mouth kisses along his neck and jawline. There was a loud slap as the palm of his hand hit the glass of the window._

_'Whoa. I really need to stop thinking about her like that. It's so wrong.' _

Dean reached down to adjust the waist of his pants, and I quickly averted my eyes and started to stuff my face with my sandwich, trying not to draw any attention to myself. I could feel Dean's eyes on me, but I refused to look up.

"You really think we're dealing with the Hook Man?" Dean asked, his voice slightly cracking.

Sam looked over to me and then back at Dean, giving him an odd look before answering. "Well, every legend starts somewhere. What if the Hook Man isn't really a man, but some kind of spirit?"

"Looks like you're finally going to get that college experience after all, Bella," Dean said with a laugh.

I shut my laptop and looked up thoroughly confused. "What do you mean?"

"The victim's girlfriend goes to Saint Michael's College," Sam answered. "She's a member of Zeta Phi Beta, and it just so happens it's pledge week."

"I don't think that's such a good plan." I gulped. My interpersonal were kind of lacking, and I would stick out like a sore thumb in a sorority.

_'Mmmm,' Dean hummed in approval. 'Sororities. Maybe I could nail a sorority chick and finally get Bella out of my mind.' _

I frowned slightly. It wasn't that I was jealous or even wanted Dean in that way. The visions of us together were more than enough. It didn't mean it hurt any less to know he thought of me as something he had to get rid of.

"You know what? On second thought, I think it's a great idea." My mind quickly wandered to Charlie and Renee's escapades at the frat party. I took a deep breath. I could do this and maybe in the process I could finally loosen up and forget about _everything_, even if it was just for a few nights.

Dean banged loudly on the bathroom door. "Come on, Bella!"

I actually didn't mind the motel we were staying in. Unlike the seventies' style abomination back in Rockford, this place was classy. Simple and understated, the walls were a sterile white. The beds and dressers were black and modern with sharp lines, and the bathroom was to die for. It had a large counter with his and her sinks, a claw foot tub, and a stand up shower stall. If it came down to it, I'd bring my pillow into the tub and sleep there.

"Sometime tonight would be nice," he shouted through the door.

I finished cutting up one of my t-shirts and folded my Swiss-Army knife back up and put it in my back pocket. I held up the shirt that was now a lot shorter than it had started out as. I had cut it so it was a midriff and put strategic slash marks up the sides. Showing skin wasn't really my thing, but I wanted to fit in. I ran my hands through my hair one more time trying to tame the loose waves, added a coat of chapstick, and brushed on some mascara. Alice wasn't here and it was the best I could do. I finally opened the door just as Dean was about to bang on it again.

He stood frozen in place, hand in mid-air. His eyes traveled down from my face to my bare stomach and back to my face again. Out of habit I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth. Dean continued to stare at me. "Do I...do I look okay?"

"You shouldn't wear that," Dean said in a gruff voice.

"What? Why?" I looked down at myself, second guessing my wardrobe choice.

"Dean, she looks fine." Sam came over to me and guided me out of the bathroom. "Don't listen to him, Bella. You look great. Dean never went to college. He doesn't know what coeds look like." Sam tossed him a warning look as Dean walked into the bathroom and slammed the door.

I sat on the edge of the bed and nervously picked at my thumb nail.

"Bella, you'll be fine. Just go in there, buddy up to Lori, and find out what really happened. Something just doesn't fit with her story. Once we get the right information, we should be able to find out who or what is causing this."

"You make it sound so easy. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not that great at making friends."

"Another thing you and Dean have in common," he mumbled.

"Ww..what?" I stuttered. I didn't want to waste time dwelling on things we had in common. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to, that I could relate to. After last night, I had thought maybe we were heading in that direction. I still couldn't pinpoint what caused the shift this morning, but he obviously wanted nothing to do with me now.

"Nothing," he said, smiling and shaking his head.

Dean stumbled out of the bathroom and kept his head down, walking straight to the door without a word to either of us. I gave Sam a questioning look.

"He's just being Dean. He'll get over it." Sam led me out to the car and helped me get into the backseat.

Dean drove in complete silence, save for the heavy metal blaring from the speakers. The aggressive guitar work, matched with the angry yelling singing, matched his mood. As much as it annoyed me, I was starting to miss the cocky, smart ass Dean. I really hoped Sam was right, and Dean would get over whatever was bugging him. Sam was turned in his seat, drilling me on the things I needed to find out while I was in the sorority house. Apparently Lori wasn't the only one that had a run in with the Hook Man. Three other sorority sisters had similar encounters, all resulting in the deaths of their boyfriends.

"If all else fails, I still got this," I said, pointing to my head.

"Bella, we still don't know how your gift works. You can't rely just on that. Try to be friendly. You'll find that most people..." he gave Dean a side glance "...are receptive to that."

I forced a smile on my face. "Thanks. I'll try to keep that in mind."

Dean pulled the car up to the front of the house. There were Greek symbols spray-painted on the exterior, and the music pumping from inside was loud enough to rival the Impala's sound system. I got out of the car and delicately shut the door. I had already received a lecture from Dean when I accidentally slammed the door. I was used to driving around in Old Red. What did he really expect?

Sam leaned out the window and tried to reassure me. "You have your phone, right?" I pat my back pocket and nodded. "Not that anything is going to happen because you'll be fine...but just in case."

I gave him a slight wave and started to walk toward the house. I quickly glanced behind me, expecting to see an exhaust cloud as Dean revved the engine and sped away. Instead, I was met with his intent stare. His tongue darted out and swept over his lower lip before turning his head back to the road and driving off. I shook my head and took a deep breath, steeling myself before opening the door.

Barely any standing room, I wove myself between bodies, making my way to the kitchen. A guy in a red and blue striped polo shirt and light blonde shaggy hair bumped shoulders with me, practically knocking me over. I reached out to the kitchen island and grabbed the edge, steadying myself.

"Sorry, didn't see you there." He had a nice white smile and at least he was polite.

"It's alright. People tend to have a hard time seeing me," I mumbled.

He took my hand and helped me stand up. "I find that hard to believe. Here, let me get you a drink." His eyes slowly raked up my body, sending an uneasy shiver down my spine.

I turned around and leaned against the counter top and watched him grab a red plastic cup and take the keg hose, pouring a beer. He handed it to me, and I did my best to give him a warm smile. I took a sip and crinkled my nose. I had tried one of Charlie's beers before, and I didn't remember it being so foamy. I pulled the cup away from my face and the guy laughed softly.

"You have a little something..." He walked closer to me, his eyes scanning my face. They were extremely blue and his mouth twitched to the side, a small dimple forming. "...right..." he reached his thumb out to my nose, and I gasped as he swiped in across "...here."

I could feel my cheeks reddening, and I cast my eyes down. "Thanks."

"I'm Jack, by the way." He stretched his hand out to me and I shook it.

"Bella." Maybe Sam was right. Most people were receptive to a friendly face. I certainly didn't need to run away screaming from this guy. "So, um, do you know where I can find Lori?"

_'Fuck me. Why the hell would this girl want anything to do with that psycho-douche.?'_

"Don't tell me you're one of her groupies." He lowered his voice and gave me a sly grin. "I was just starting to like you, Bella."

_'That fucking bitch is going to get hers.'_

Startled by his hard, callous voice popping into my head, I furrowed my eyebrows and slightly shook my head. "No, I...I just...well, I'm thinking of pledging. I needed to talk to her about something."

Jack grabbed both my hands, giving me an icy stare, his voice laced with trouble. "Don't. It will be the worst mistake of your life."

_'I really hope she doesn't get her hooks in this one.' _I watched his eyes roam my face and then drop a little to my chest for the briefest glance. It made me want to take a step back, but his voice was so full of concern that I stayed planted where I was.

_Hooks...no, he couldn't mean..._ "I...I don't understand."

He squeezed my hands a little harder. I tightened my eyes in a painful expression, and he loosened his grip, finally letting go.

"Something is off with the girls in this sorority. Just trust me."

"I'm sure I'll be alright. My mother was Zeta Phi Beta, so I have legacy going for me..." I shrugged slightly and smiled, hoping he'd back off.

_'It's like that bitch puts them in a trance. I was really hoping to get lucky with this one.'_

I bit down on the inside of my cheek trying to keep myself from scowling.

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you, Bella." His concern melted away, replaced by a harsh, dismissive tone.

As I watched Jack make his way back to the party, I walked through the kitchen and found a stairway. I crept up the wooden stairs and stopped in the hallway, just outside of a room with the door cracked.

"But, Lori, why did they have to die?" one girl cried.

"Those boys wanted one thing and one thing only. Don't think for one minute they actually loved you. Boys lie to get what they want," a harsh voice spat.

"You're killing people..."

A vicious laugh broke through the air. "I'm not killing people." Somehow I wasn't so sure about that.

The door swung open and I tucked myself into another room. I watched as a very tall, thin girl with long black hair walked down the hall. She was wearing an ankle length skirt and a modest cashmere cardigan—not exactly the picture of a sorority sister I had imagined. The other two girls hurried behind her. They looked more like what I expected: tight jeans, barely there tops, and overdone makeup. What were they doing with a girl like Lori?

Once I was convinced the girls had left, I opened the door and walked out. Standing right in front of me was Lori with her too large gray eyes, darker than night hair, and fake smile.

"Can I help you?" Her voice was syrupy sweet with an acidic burn.

"Nope...just...um...looking for the bathroom."

"It's downstairs," she answered icily.

I looked her over and was immediately drawn to an ornate cross she wore around her neck. She noticed my gaze and protectively covered it with her right hand, still smiling. Personally, I thought she was taking the whole virginal school girl look a little too far.

"Right...thanks," I said, making my way for the stairs. There was definitely something off with her, and I needed to find out what it was before anyone else got hurt.

During our brief encounter, I had tried to get a read on her but nothing came through. Maybe I should go back to Jack and see if I could find anything else out. He may have been slightly intense and maybe a little bit of a pig, but at least I could read his mind. He knew something, and I intended on finding out exactly what it was.

I grabbed another drink as I walked through the kitchen. I found him sitting by himself on a plaid couch in the living room. I sat down next to him and smiled shyly, taking a sip from my beer.

He didn't even turn to face me. "So did you find your queen?" he seethed.

I pursed my lips together and nodded. "Yeah, you were right. Something is definitely off with her."

_'Besides being a giant cock tease, she's an evil bitch. I know she had something to do with Rich's death.'_

I started to gnaw on my lip. Rich was Lori's boyfriend, the one that was killed on 9 Mile Road. "How do you know her exactly?"

"She used to date a friend of mine. They actually dated for almost a year. Every time he thought he was going to get lucky, something would come up: phone calls from dear old Dad or just her saying she wasn't ready. I warned him. I told him she was just a prude, but their anniversary was coming up and she promised him they'd finally have sex." Jack took a long sip from his cup and smiled cruelly. "Funny how he died the night of their anniversary, isn't it?"

"Are you saying you think this has something to do with...sex?" I whispered.

_'Aww that's cute,'_ he thought bitterly. _'She's trying to act all shy,' _as a playful grin danced across his face.

"No, I just think she gets off on leading guys on. Maybe her game went a little too far this time."

"But I heard the same thing happened to some of the other girls' boyfriends. I don't really like to judge people based on appearance, but they don't exactly look like prudes to me."

He stared a little too long at my chest and licked his lips. "Well, appearances certainly can be deceiving." He stood up abruptly and grabbed my hand. "Come on, let's dance."

I shook my head adamantly and tried to pull my hand back. "I don't... I don't dance."

He gave me an inviting smile and said, "Live a little, Bella. I don't bite."

I laughed to myself and finally gave in. Bites were the last thing I was worried about. I wasn't the best dancer and probably looked similar to a chicken on acid, but I was having fun. Jack was acting just as goofy as I was as he twirled me around the room. He even busted out some moves from Pulp Fiction. I worked up quite a sweat, so I reached down to the coffee table to grab what I assumed was my drink. I downed the cool, refreshing liquid and fell back into Jack's arms.

He held me close to him, one strong arm wrapped tightly around my waist. I had never been drunk before, but I could feel myself getting tipsy. The walls started to move with the room, and I was finding it hard to focus on just one thing.

"You're not really pledging here are you?" he asked softly in my ear.

I smiled against his cheek letting the warmth of his body and the haze of the buzz float over me.

"And why would you think that?" I giggled, slightly swaying in his arms.

"Because they only take virgins." He pulled me firmly against his hips, grinding himself into me. He quirked a knowing eyebrow. "And you are most definitely not a virgin."

"What?" I shook my head and tried to push him away. He dug his fingers into my bare midriff, and I winced. "Jack, let go. You're hurting me."

He clicked his tongue against his teeth and shook his head disapprovingly. "You don't need to play hard to get, Bella."

_'Although, it could make for a lot of fun in the bedroom.' _

I struggled against his grasp, finally freeing myself, only to have him yank me back by the wrist.

"I'll scream," I warned.

His features hardened as his eyes darkened and his smile morphed into something evil. "And no one would hear you." He started to pull me down the hallway. I tried to free myself, but he only pressed his fingers harder against my wrist. He kicked open a door to a darkened room and tossed me onto a bed.

"Don't do this..." I begged, crawling up the bed, trying to keep as much distance as I could from him as the room continued to spin around me.

He stalked toward me and placed a knee on the mattress, grabbing my ankle and yanking me down the bed.

"Please," I cried, hot tears rolling down my cheeks.

"What is it with you girls pretending you don't want it?" One hand still had a firm grasp on my leg as the other hand worked at his belt. He ripped it off in one smooth motion and for a minute, my mind traveled back to the image of Dean doing the same thing. Instead of feeling warmth pool between my legs or my cheeks flush, a sob ripped through my body.

Suddenly, the door swung open and Dean stood in the door way, his colt aimed at the back of Jack's head, his eyes fierce and full of rage. He almost didn't look human as he easily cocked the hammer back ready to shoot. A lone tear slipped from my eye. As it rolled my cheek, Dean's eyes met mine and his face softened.

"Did I miss the naked pillow fight?" he asked, a smirk stretching across his face.

Jack let go of my leg and whipped around. "Who the fuck are you?"

Dean charged at him and threw him up against the wall. He grabbed him by the throat with one hand and pointed his gun under his chin. His heavy breathing told me he was losing the fight at staying cool, calm, and collected. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just blow your head off..."

I watched through blurry eyes as the front of Jack's pants darkened. I didn't blame him for pissing himself. Dean could be pretty menacing when he wanted to. Usually it was in the face of a ghost, but now Jack had to face his wrath. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry. Please don't kill me. I thought she wanted it!"

With a thud, Dean bounced the back of Jack's head off the wall. "You. Don't. Talk. About. Her. Like. That." His short clipped words and flexed jaw even had me scared.

Carefully, I crawled off the bed, holding onto the blanket as I tried to stand on unsteady feet. Wobbling and placing a hand in front of me for balance, I made my way to Dean. I reached out and pulled on the sleeve of his jacket. Turning to the side to face me, his expression softened.

"He's not worth it. You're not a killer, Dean."

He turned back to Jack, drew his fist back, and punched him square in the nose. I could hear the bone and cartilage crack as a trickle of blood ran down Jack's face. Jack slumped to the floor in pain. Dean quickly shrugged out of his jacket and draped it over my shoulders. I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand as Dean put an arm around me and tucked me into his chest.

"Come on, let's get you back to the motel room."

"What? No!" I pulled away from him, the quick motion combined with my inability to control my motor skills almost causing me to tumble. He held me up by my arm, and I gave him a grateful look. "Dean, what about the Hook Man? He's going to kill again."

His lips twitched, pulling into a side smile as he shook his head slightly. "Sweetheart, you've had enough excitement for one night. Besides, Sam is waiting for us. I think he's found a lead."

I tried to walk down the stairs by myself, but I had missed a few steps and clung to the railing. Dean scooped me into his arms like a baby and carried me out to the car. I squeezed my eyes shut as he navigated through the crowd, the loud music and bright lights causing my head to swim. I wrapped my arms around his neck, tucking my head into the crook of his shoulder and chest, and inhaled deeply. The smell of him, combined with the leather, sent a calming wave over me. After settling me in the front seat, he shut the door gently. Instinctively, I brought my knees to my chest and hugged them. He looked over to me and didn't say a word about my feet on the leather.

"How did you know how to find me?"

He slowly shook his head and pursed his lips together, like he was deep in thought. He looked back to me and gave me a thoughtful stare. "I couldn't stop... thinking about you."

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E/N – So Dean seems a little hot and cold. But that comes with the territory, doesn't it? If you're confused by his actions, drop me a line. I'll try to clear it up for you. Trust me when I say Dean is as canon as he can get. We all know he has a hard time dealing with emotions. Reviewers get a teaser for the next chapter. Reviews are better than wearing Dean's leather jacket.

And for the special announcement...I have a trailer for the story on youtube. Just remove all the spaces.

youtu . Be / pGA2MJe _ Y2Y


	7. Girls Just Want to Have Fun

A/N – A lot of you were anxious to see how the Lori story line played out. Here's the resolution. I hope you like it. For those of you that review anonymously, I love every one of them and I want to send you teasers, but I can't unless you login. The same goes for people that don't accept PMs.

I am forever thankful to Team Bean. These girls make me look good. You don't want to see what this looked like beforehand.

Warning: Same warning from previous chapter applies. If you didn't mind how I dealt with the Bella/Jack incident, you should be okay with the aftermath. There are some new situations discussed, just to give you a heads up.

Disclaimer: I still don't own any of it. I'm just having fun.

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**Chapter 7: Girls Just Want to Have Fun**

The weight of what happened back at the sorority house, the run in with Lori, Jack's attack, and Dean saving me finally took its toll on the short ride back to the motel. Silent tears continued to roll down my cheeks as I strangled a few cries threatening to fight their way out. Each one that followed was stronger than the last, and I couldn't contain them as my shoulders started to shake. I gave up and let my hands fall to my sides as the sobs ripped through me. Once I had finished crying, I kept my eyes forward every time Dean cast a sideways glance my way. Luckily, Dean wasn't one for talking. I didn't know what would have come out of my mouth if he had tried to get me to open up. We were both the suffer in silence type. For the first time, I was grateful it was Dean sitting next to me and not Sam. I was so consumed with trying to compose myself, I almost didn't feel his rough finger tips circle my wrist. I looked down, our gaze meeting as we both watched him trace the angry red marks Jack's fingers had left.

His jaw clenched as he ground his teeth. "He hurt you."

"You saved me," I whispered.

He quickly dropped my wrist back on the seat and looked ahead at the road. "Dammit, Bella. You shouldn't be here. This life isn't for you. You're just a kid."

I wasn't sure which made me more upset, the fact the _another _guy was telling me what my life should be or that he thought I was just a kid. I turned to the side and glowered at him. "I'm not a kid. I'm eighteen, and I've had enough stuff happen to me in the past year that tells me otherwise. This life is exactly for me. Someone else already tried to take all my choices away from me. I won't let you do the same."

Offering me a sympathetic look, he faced me. "I'm just trying to keep you safe. This life, hunting... we're always going to be up against pretty scary stuff. Danger sort of comes with the territory. I can fight the big and bad, but that jerk-off..." his lips curled around his teeth, and he huffed out a deep breath "...I could have killed him." He punched the steering wheel in frustration.

I pulled his clenched fist to me and held his hand. "But you didn't."

He lowered his eyes and whispered, "It doesn't mean I wouldn't have."

I shook my head adamantly. "I don't know you very well, but I know you wouldn't kill a _person_."

He fixed his dark eyes on my own. "I wanted to." His voice had grown cold, sending a shiver down my spine. I let go of his hand and turned to look out the window.

We drove the rest of the way in silence, not even exchanging any looks. When we pulled into the parking lot, Dean got out of the car and headed to the room without even waiting for me. He wasn't getting his way, and he was acting like a petulant child. He wanted me to surrender, tell him I wanted to go home. Since trouble always had a way of finding me, he probably figured I'd just get in the way and distract them from finding Yellow Eyes and their father. Dean obviously had no clue how stubborn I was, how relentless I could be. Even in the face of watching Edward leave me, I still begged him to change me. I couldn't go back to Forks. There was nothing left for me there. I had always felt out of place, sitting in the background, watching my life unfold. Back in Rockford, I felt like I was an active participant. I made my own decisions and had a purpose. We had only worked one case, but I was already starting to feel like I belonged with brothers, even if Dean wasn't as welcoming as Sam, he would come around...he'd have to.

I walked into the room shortly after Dean, and Sam shot up from the bed and ran over to me. He pulled me into him and scanned my face, finding wet, mascara stained cheeks. "What happened?" He pulled away and looked on in worry as I wobbled on unsteady feet.

"I..." Taking a deep breath and swallowing thickly, I steeled myself to tell him. "I—"

Dean stood up from the chair and faced us, chuckling darkly. "Bella here thinks she's a big girl, thinks she can handle what we do...except she almost got herself killed."

My eyes widened in surprise. "I can handle what you do! What happened back there didn't even have anything to do with the Hook Man. So a frat guy got a little handsy. It wasn't that bad..." I tried to defend my actions while battling a wave of nausea. Placing a hand on the back of the couch to brace myself, I closed my eyes hoping to stop the walls of the motel from caving in on me. The room was entirely too hot and I could feel my cheeks burning.

"Not that bad?" Dean raced over to us and grabbed my arm off of the couch, spinning me around. His eyes were full of pain. "He drugged you and then he was going to rape you, Bella."

My head was already swimming in darkness, but Dean's words only made it worse.

"What?" Sam asked, shock etched on his face.

"She's going home, Sam. We can find Dad and Yellow Eyes on our own."

"No," I cried, staring at Dean in disbelief. I searched Sam's eyes, but he was as confused as I was.

Dean paced around the room, grabbing my things and putting them in my bag on the bed.

Sam chased after him and stilled his hands. "Dean, think about this for a minute."

Dean turned his head to the side and looked me straight in the eye. "I did. We don't need her weighing us down."

I winced as his words cut into me. Jutting my jaw out and tightening my eyes, I spoke firmly. "I saw Yellow Eyes."

Dean's gaze hardened as a wry grin appeared on his lips. "Oh yeah? When?"

"Last night. My nightmare..." I said in a short clipped tone, giving him a defiant grin, knowing it would make him uncomfortable.

"What nightmare? Dean, did you know about this?"

Dean waved his hand at me in a dismissive manner. "Don't listen to her, Sammy. She said she gets them all the time. She's just using Yellow Eyes as leverage. She doesn't want to go back home."

I huffed out a breath and glared at Dean, balling my hands into fists. Sam looked back and forth from me to Dean and shook his head. "Why don't we all just calm down for a minute. Bella," he said, taking a seat on the couch and urging me to sit with him, "what was your nightmare about?"

"I do get them all the time," I admitted, sitting down slowly. I rubbed my hands up and down my legs and took a few deep breaths. "It's always of Edward. I'm usually chasing him through the woods. I fall and cry and beg him to come back, but I can never get to him." Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head. I scowled at him before continuing. "Last night was different. I found him standing over my bed, watching me sleep."

"Creepy. Did he vant to suck your vlood?" Dean asked in his best Count Dracula accent.

"Shut up, Dean," Sam said through gritted teeth.

"When I called to him, he said he wasn't _him_, wasn't Edward. He said I knew who he was. His eyes turned pitch black and his voice got all distorted. He said he was me and then his eyes changed to this weird glowing yellow. They clouded over and just looked so dead. Then he said, _'This is what you'll become.' _His face changed again to a man I have never seen before. Maybe late forties, short hair, strong jaw, and he said,_ 'I will have you, Bella. One way or another.'_ And then Dean..." I darted my eyes to Dean "..._woke_ me up." I looked down, hiding the slight blush forming behind my hair, thinking about how he soothed me back to sleep.

Sam looked to Dean, giving him a knowing look. "What else did he say?"

I ran a hand through my hair and looked up at him. "Nothing. That was it."

Dean stood in front of us, purposely ignoring me and talking directly to Sam. "Why don't you bring her up to speed. I'm gonna go see if I can find something to eat around here." He gave a quick glance at his jacket that was still draped over my shoulders. I was about to take it off and hand it back to him, but he just kept walking.

After the door slammed shut, Sam turned to me and asked, "Bella, are you sure you're okay? I know you're trying to be tough. Don't listen to Dean, alright? We're not going to take you back."

"I'm fine. Really. I've been through a lot worse."

"Alright." He laughed slightly and gave me a warm smile. "Well, when you're ready to talk about it, I'll be here, okay?"

A small smirk worked its way onto my lips, and I shook my head. I hadn't been around the brothers for very long, but I already knew Sam didn't like to let things go. He wanted to help me any way he could.

"How about you bring me up to speed now?"

"So I did some digging and found that back in the eighteen-hundreds, a preacher by the name of Jacob Karns was executed for the murder of thirteen prostitutes. I guess he was angry about the debauchery over on 9 Mile road, which just so happened to be the red light district."

"That doesn't really fit with what's happening, well besides the location."

Sam reached for his laptop and scrolled down the page. "Get this...it appears his spirit feeds off of repressed emotions. In 1932 there was a clergyman arrested for murder, and in 1967 a seminarian killed a bunch of hippies. The only thing is we don't know who he's feeding off of."

"It's Lori."

Sam knitted his brows together in confusion. "But she's one of the victims."

"No, she's the one causing this."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I heard her talking to some of the other girls. Every time a guy tries to get frisky, he winds up dead. And..." I took the laptop into my hands and pointed to a cross on the screen "...she wears this cross."

Sam went slack-jawed as Dean opened the door, balancing a pizza box in one hand and holding a six pack in the other.

"What did I miss?" Dean asked, shoving almost a whole piece of pizza in his mouth as he walked over to the couch.

"Bella thinks it's Lori, that she's summoning Jacob Karns." Sam reached for a piece of pizza.

Dean took the cap off of a Bud Light and handed it to Sam before opening his own and putting the rest away in the mini fridge. I got up from the couch and walked over the fridge, turning my back to Dean as I bent over and grabbed myself a beer. Dean smirked, the smallest light finding its way back into his hazel-green eyes.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Sam asked, giving me a quizzical look.

I struggled, trying to twist the cap off, and Dean stretched his hand out and took it from me. One small twist and the beer was open. "Here you go, sweetheart. Those twist-offs can be tricky," he said with a smirk. I fixed my eyes on him as I wrapped my lips around the beer and took a long, slow sip. The cool, refreshing liquid spilled into my belly and sent a shiver up my spine.

"Dean!" Sam huffed.

"Oh give it a rest, Sammy. If she's old enough to be hunting with us, she's old enough to have a drink. Besides, I think she could use a little something to calm her nerves." Dean sat back on the couch and stretched out his legs. "So what's the game plan?"

"Well, since Karns was cremated it's going to be a little difficult. Bella said Lori wears his cross. We're gonna need to get the cross," Sam explained in between sips of his beer.

"I'll do it."

"No," Dean said in a gruff voice. He darted his eyes to me, his piercing stare freezing me in place. "You're not going into that house alone again."

"I have to go alone. I have a feeling Lori doesn't like men very much. Please, just trust me on this." I begged him with my eyes.

"Fine. But we're staying close this time, and don't go off trying to be a hero..." he smiled widely, giving me that signature cocky grin "...that's my job."

I smiled back at him and shook my head. I was thankful Dean had cooled off; maybe he was ornery because he had an empty stomach. Charlie was overly cranky when he was hungry, but I couldn't stop feeling like there was more to our little argument. His reasons for not wanting me around made no sense, unless Sam was right. He saw himself in me and it scared him. I knew what it was like to be with someone that was a constant reminder of all your shortcomings. Each passing day with Edward, made it glaringly obvious we were from two different worlds. The more time I spent with Dean, the more I realized we were more alike than I wanted to believe. We had both been hurt and were barely staying afloat. Anger and pain, two life preservers in a sea of sorrow. Maybe we could find middle ground together. If he could let go of some of the anger, and I could let go of some of my pain, we could swim against the current and free ourselves from the prisons of our own making. I knew what I had to do. I had to let go of Edward.

After a few games of Gin Rummy, I could feel my eyelids getting heavy. Dean was still shuffling cards as Sam's head tilted back on the couch, loud snores escaping his mouth. I got up slowly and headed into the bathroom to change for bed. When I came out, Sam was fast asleep and Dean was nowhere to be found. I eased myself into the bed and closed my eyes, waiting for sleep and the inevitable nightmares that would take over me.

_The street lights started to flicker as I walked down the cobblestone alleyway. I kept looking behind me, feeling as if I was being followed. I put one foot in front of the other, taking long strides, trying to make it to the main road. A gust of cold air whipped around me, and I felt someone shove me. I turned around only to be jostled into the arms of another man. _

"_There you are!" The booming voice of a large dark-haired man shattered the eerie silence of the isolated alley. _

"_Get away from me," I said, trying to back away._

_A third man appeared from the shadows wearing an excited grin. "Oh, don't be like that, sugar. We just want to have some fun." He stalked forward, herding me into the arms of one the dark haired man. _

_One of the men wrapped his arms around me in a bear hug, holding me in place. I struggled in his arms as the dark-haired man stroked me cheek._

"_Don't touch me."_

_I knew what happened next. This wasn't a nightmare. I had lived this. Headlights flew around the corner, and I managed to break away as the men were startled briefly. The car was heading straight toward us and almost hit one of my assailants. Instead of seeing a silver Volvo, I was met with Dean's black Impala. Dean whipped the door open and charged at one of the men. I watched on in horror as Dean tackled him to the ground, knelt on top of him, and pounded his fists into his face. _

I could feel myself thrashing in bed, trying to wake myself up. I felt a heavy weight on top of me as I opened my eyes. Dean was kneeling over me, hands on my shoulders, staring down at me with worry stricken eyes.

"Are you okay?" I inched up the bed, gripping the bed sheet and nodded. "Another nightmare?" he asked, climbing off of me and sitting down on the edge of the bed.

I sucked my lip into my mouth and chewed on it. "Sort of. More like just reliving a painful memory."

"Edward?" he asked flatly, sounding resentful.

"Not exactly." I lowered my gaze to his hands, making sure his knuckles weren't bloodied or bruised, like they had been in my dream. I did notice they were slightly raw, but that must have been from when he punched Jack.

"Well...I..." He stood up and awkwardly shoved his hands in his pockets. "I just don't like seeing you restless like that."

He turned around to walk back over to the couch, but I stopped him. "Dean, wait." I leaned forward, reaching out my hand to him. He hesitantly took it and came back over to me. I quickly dropped his hand as he stood in front of me. "Could you...would you..." I looked down and let my hair fall over my face, hiding the tears threatening to spill. I tucked my shaking hands underneath my thighs."I slept better last night after you...well, I don't know what you did but it just...whatever it was could you do it again?"

He gave me a curt nod and guided me down on the bed. I closed my eyes, but his time I was alert enough to feel his weight on the bed next to me. I was conscious of his every move. Each exhale of his breath made the hairs on my arms stand on end. It felt like there was an ocean of space between us as he stretched out his arm and started to run his fingers through my hair. With each pass of his hand, the space between us grew smaller. Soon, I felt his hard chest against my back and his warm breath on my neck as he continued to stroke my hair and cheek. The motion was very soothing, and before I knew it I surrendered to sleep. I didn't wake in the middle of the night, but there were times when I felt my consciousness fighting to the surface. Not sound asleep, but not fully coherent, I felt strong arms wrapped around my middle. It was probably just phantom touches, me imagining Edward holding me as I slept. A nose pressed up against my ear and whispers falling into my hair, I made out a few words that meant everything.

"Sweetheart, you're making it really hard to keep you safe." I heard him laugh softly as he tucked a loose strand behind my ear. "And I'm not talking about you being a danger magnet. I know you think you can handle this, and you probably can. It's me I'm not so sure about. If I have to be an ass to keep you safe, I'll do it." I could feel his smile pressed up against the nape of my neck. "Besides, it's something I'm good at."

I rolled over to my side and snuggled into the soft pillow laying next to me. I opened one eye, half-expecting to see Dean flat on his back, snoring. Instead, I was met with an empty room. Sam's bed had already been made and the blankets on the side I had assumed Dean had slept on lay perfectly flat, as if he was never there. I got out of bed and walked around the room, noticing a piece of paper on the corner of the nightstand.

_Bella,_

_Went for breakfast. Dean said not to wake you. Be back soon._

_Sam_

Sam had been super thoughtful since the beginning, so his note was expected, but Dean's effort at being nice threw me off a bit. I never knew when that switch would flip and he'd be back to being a jerk. I really shouldn't take much stock in it. He knew I had had a rough night and could use all the rest I could get.

I had just enough time to shower and get dressed. I couldn't afford to linger because I was afraid of where my mind would take me. Edward would always be in the recesses of my mind, trying to work his way out, but the thing that scared me the most was how the memories of Edward started to blur and fade, leaving only Dean in focus.

I was folding a pair of Dean's jeans when the door to the room opened. Sam walked in with a tray of coffee, and Dean had a box of donuts. It looked like he had already dipped into them judging by the front of his shirt covered in powdered sugar and his cheeks full like a chipmunk. I smiled at him, slightly shaking my head, as he proceeded to talk with his mouth full.

"Breakfast of champions." He flipped to top of the box open and reached in for a honey glazed.

"Thanks," I said, taking a bite, savoring the fresh dough and sweetness as it hit my taste buds.

"Bella, Dean and I were discussing how this is going to go down. Is there anyway you could just take the cross while Lori's in the shower?"

"Come on, Sammy! Don't you know all the girls shower together in sororities? Bella would stick out like a sore thumb if she didn't join in the festivities." He waggled his eyebrows at me.

I rolled my eyes at Dean, cracking a small smile. "I don't think that would work anyway. Something tells me she never takes that thing off. Besides, don't you want to know why she's doing it?"

"That's not really part of the job description. We gank the spirit and move on." I narrowed my eyes, sending Dean an incredulous look. His face softened as he tried to explain. "It's just easier that way."

Sam and Dean got out of the car, wearing dark gray coveralls, dressed as gardeners. I walked over to Dean and tugged on his name tag. My mouth twitched as I raised an eyebrow. "José?"

He stuck his bottom lip out and shrugged. "What?" I took the rake that was leaning against the car and shoved it into his chest.

Sam chuckled softly, pulling a baseball cap down on his head and grabbing a shovel out of the trunk. "We will be right outside. If anything starts getting weird just..."

"Scream?"

We exchanged a smile and I walked into the house. Lori was sitting on the couch with the same girls from the other night flanking her. She lifted her eyes and made contact with me as I closed the door behind me.

"You," she said, pursing her lips into a thin line.

"I...I...came back to pledge," I stuttered, digging my foot into the floor trying to stand tall.

An icy stare and proud smile worked its way onto her face. "Well we don't want you...want your kind."

"What do you mean...my kind?" I narrowed my eyes, trying to read her mind.

_'Stupid slut. Like I didn't see her sneaking off into a room with Jack. When will these girls learn?'_

"There's really no nice way to say this..." She searched my face.

"Bella."

"Bella, we don't let girls in that are impure. We have very high expectations for our sisters. We expect them to act like a lady at all times and after seeing you with Jack last night...well, you've been tainted."

_'I wonder what kind of line he fed her. She probably didn't even put up a fight and just let him...'_

"What?" I widened my eyes and stalked toward her. "No! Jack didn't touch me. He tried to but..."

She stood up from the couch and placed her hand over the cross. "But you fought him off?" She laughed sarcastically. "No one says no to Jack. Even if you did, he'd just take what he wanted anyway."

_Lori was running down a dirt road, her feet splashing in mud puddles. Jack was hot on her heels as he called after her. She ducked behind a tree. I could feel her trembling as she choked back sobs._

"_Come out, come out, where ever you are," Jack called as he chased after her. He brought his hand up to his cheek and wiped it off. He smiled wickedly as he took notice of the blood on his fingertips. "Don't you know I like it rough?" He raced past the tree as Lori stood completely still. _

_The only thing I could hear was her heavy breathing and the hammering of her heartbeat. Her eyes and cheeks glistened under the moonlight as she slowly stepped away from the tree, looking around and making sure he was nowhere to be found. She let out a bloodcurdling scream as Jack wrapped his arms around her from behind and lifted her up, her legs kicking to get away._

"_There you are, you little tease. Don't tell me you don't want this." He spun her around and started to grope her roughly. He pushed her into the tree face first and wrapped one hand around her face so he could cover her mouth. Tears rolled down her cheeks as he ripped open her shirt and lifted her skirt up._

I covered my mouth and swallowed thickly, fighting back my own tears as I watched what happened to Lori and most likely what would have happened to me if Dean hadn't show up.

"He...he raped you," I whispered.

Lori fixed her eyes on me, her nostrils slightly flaring as she squeezed the cross tighter. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I lowered my gaze to her neck. "It's the cross isn't it?"

She shook her head adamantly, still protectively clutching it. "No...you can't...how..."

"You're summoning the ghost of Jacob Karns. He's killing people."

_'People?'_ She narrowed her eyes, a forced smile on her lips. _'You mean rapists.'_

"That's why you're doing this. You're trying to get revenge. Karns is feeding off of your feelings. He's going after people you think deserve to be punished."

_'There's no way she could know...'_

"Why didn't you go to the police? They could have helped you."

Her face hardened as she took a few steps closer to me. "I tried. No one believed me. So instead of feeling sorry for myself, I took control. I promised to never let what happened to me happen to another girl again."

"You're killing people, Lori. What happened to you was awful...believe me, I know. It almost happened to me, but you can't keep doing this. Not every guy is like Jack. These guys were just guilty of loving their girlfriends..." I looked over to the other two girls still sitting on the couch "...but you were too hurt and angry to see that."

Her eyes started to fill with tears as she turned to her friends. "I was just trying to keep you both safe..."

"We didn't ask you to," the girl with the bleach blonde hair cried, mascara running down her face.

"I loved him," the other girl with dark eyes added. "I wanted to have sex. It was my choice and you took that away from me."

I put a hand on Lori's shoulder and turned her to face me. "Don't you see? You're no better than Jack. He didn't give you a choice. He took something away from you he had no right taking...but you can't keep doing this." I extended my other hand, palm open, waiting for her to give me the necklace.

"Please? I know you know this is wrong. You don't like hurting people. You're not him."

She slowly unclasped the chain and dropped to cross into my hand. I squeezed it tightly and gave her a sad smile. "Thank you."

Dean, Sam, and I squished together on the couch as we watched the flames of the fireplace swallow Lori's cross. The fire grew and blue flames appeared as the silver started to melt. Dean walked over to the fridge and grabbed a beer for each of us.

"How'd you get her to give it over so easily?" Sam asked, taking his beer.

I took mine from Dean and looked down, unwilling to betray Lori. She didn't want to be seen as a victim, and I could understand that. "Oh you know, the whole women empowerment, female bonding thing..."

Dean raised his eyebrow, a huge grin appearing. "Naked pillow fights? Group showers?"

Giving him a sly smile and nodding, I answered, "Something like that." Dean closed his eyes and scrubbed a hand over his face, shaking his head with a big smile. I made it a point not to take a peek into his mind. I still couldn't control when or what I heard a person's thoughts, but I sure as hell wasn't going to go digging. I didn't want to see what kind of raunchy fantasy he was cooking up. Distracting him, I shoved my beer into his hand. "Open this for me?"

He let out a low laugh. "Still having trouble with these, sweetheart?" I just shrugged, turning my lips up into a side smile. One twist of his hand and the bottle was open. He handed it back to me and watched as I took a long sip. "So did you find out why she did it?"

I finished drinking and looked at him. "You were right. It's above our pay grade."

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E/N – Reviews are better than drinking a beer with the boys. Actually, they may be better than Dean admitting he's an ass while he thinks your sleeping. Reviewers get teasers as usual. Also, I throw in some hints about how the mind reading works. Shoot me your theories. I'd love to hear what you think.


	8. Don't Let Me Drown

A/N – Welcome back! Thanks for sticking around for another chapter. A quick PSA. FF decided to go change the way reviews work so please make sure you're signed in when you review if you want to receive a teaser to the next chapter! Undying devotion to my Team Bean. Also a special little shout-out to LJ Summers. Apparently, she rec'd this story over at Fictionators and she talked about on the podcast! I flailed a bit, not gonna lie.

Lots of good stuff in this chapter. Also more hints about Bella's mind-reading. Send me your theories. They fascinate me.

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**Chapter 8 – Don't Let Me Drown**

After stopping Lori, things had seemed pretty quiet, well at least on the paranormal front. Two weeks had come and gone, two vengeful spirits "ganked" as Dean liked to call it, and we were finally starting to get into a groove. I hadn't had another nightmare since the last one, thanks to Dean keeping a watchful eye on me and holding me at the first sign of distress. Most of the time I didn't even know it was happening. Sometimes I would startle awake, feeling his strong arms wrapped around me tightly, keeping me safe, and his hot breath in my ear as he whispered, soothing me back to sleep. I usually just pretended I was still sleeping. We never talked about it in the morning, but I was grateful to wake up, feeling refreshed, like I had actually slept. Save for a few hundred missed calls and voice mails from Charlie, and the impending doom I'd have to face once I spoke to him, things were getting better. I was getting better. I was finally starting to feel alive again. I looked down at the phone resting beside me as it continued to buzz and ring, almost vibrating off the seat.

"You've got to tell him something, Bella," Sam said, frowning in the rear view mirror.

"I know...I just...I don't know what to tell him."

"Not to put any pressure on you, sweetheart, but he's one step away from putting a BOLO out on us. We've already ditched the plates. This is your last chance to talk to him. We're gonna need to toss the phone soon."

I took the cell phone in my hand and bit my lip as I looked at the screen. Quickly, I hit the send button and squeezed my eyes shut, placing the phone up to my ear.

"Hello?" I squeaked out.

"Isabella Marie Swan," Charlie's sharp biting voice yelled into the phone, "why haven't you been answering your phone. Where are you?"

"Um...driving."

"You better be driving your butt home, young lady."

"Dad, I'm not coming home."

"What? What do you mean you're not coming home. Tell me where you are. I'm coming to get you."

Dean stared at me in the mirror and I lowered my eyes, staring at my knees, unable to look at him while spinning my lies. "I met someone in California."

"Okay...and you're not coming home because..." His tone remained sharp as he urged me on.

"Look, it's not like I wanted this to happen. I can't even explain it. Mom, always said you find love when you least expect it. I always used to laugh at her. She said when you were in love everything spins so fast and so bright, you can't find which way is up. But it doesn't matter, because the whole time all you want to do is hold onto the person making you feel that way. You see the world start to sing and the fire inside you begins..."

"Bella, stop," Charlie shouted and I winced as I pulled the phone away from my ear. "You're a teenage girl. I guess the whole falling in love thing is par for the course. I'm in uncharted waters here, kid. You gotta help me out. I know you fell hard for that Edward boy, but jumping head-first into it with the first college boy that smiles at you is not the answer. You're still hurt and you're acting rash. You don't know what you're doing."

The anger in my voice wasn't forced. Even Charlie assumed he knew what was best for me. Even if what I said was all lies, he shouldn't brush off my feelings as some love-sick little girl's cry for help.

"He's not just some college boy, Dad. He's perfect. When you meet the right person, it's like anything is possible."

Charlie grumbled on the other end, and I knew my lines of love were getting to him. He still loved Renee, and I played on that weakness.

"I know you know what I'm talking about. You felt it once, and you still do. Have you ever thought how different things would have been if you fought for her? If you begged her to stay? How could you just let her walk out of your life like that?" My voice cracked a bit at the end, and I didn't know if it was because my heart broke for Charlie all over again or because I resigned to do the same, finally letting Edward go.

"Things between your mother and I aren't that cut and dry, Bells. There's a lot of things you don't understand..."

"No, Dad. I understand perfectly. You're the one that doesn't. There's only one thing that matters—love. I love you Dad."

I quickly hung up the phone a dialed Renee's number before Charlie had a chance to call back.

"Mom?"

"Bella!" She sounded excited and out of breath.

"Are...are you okay?"

Overexerted, she sighed. "Yeah, baby. I was just doing this new workout video called 'Insanity'. It really kills your core.

I laughed a little. That was Renee for you, buying whatever infomercials tried to sell her from the SlapChop to promises of "a leaner you in 30-days or your money back."

"What's up, sweetie?"

"I met someone."

The lies were easier the second time around. Maybe I was getting better at or may it was because Renee was the quintessential, hopeless romantic.

"Oh, Bella, honey, I am so happy for you." I had missed the sound of my mom's voice as she gushed about being young and in love. "Just go with the flow, baby, and enjoy every minute of it. I was starting to worry about you acting so serious all the time."

I told her a story about an epic road trip and she was giddy with excitement. "A real-life adventure. I'm so jealous! Take pictures...and don't worry. I'll call your dad and set him straight."

My mother wasn't even concerned with me finishing high school, but that didn't surprise me. Renee always favored life experience over schooling anyway. I made sure to tell her my plans anyway, just so Charlie wouldn't worry about me being a high school dropout. Luckily, I had enough AP classes under my belt, if I wanted to, I could take online classes to finish. I did have my laptop with me, and assuming some of the seedy motels we stayed in had WiFi, it would be a cinch.

"Thanks, Mom."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Actually, do everything I would do, so I can live vicariously through you. Love you, baby."

"Love you too, Mom." I shut my phone quickly ending the call.

I reached over to the window and violently rolled it down, tossing the phone out the window. Dean kept driving as I turned around to watch it smash into tiny pieces as it hit the ground and car after car proceeded to run over it.

Dean's eyes searched mine from the rear view mirror. He stared at me for a solid minute but my gaze was unrelenting. His lips twisted into a half-smile. "Did I hear you correctly? Did you just quote an Air Supply song?"

"Yeah, well, sometimes love is hard to describe," I answered flatly, staring blankly at the road. I doubted he even knew what love was.

"You know what you need?" His face lit up with a wide smile. "You need some pie." Dean jerked the car to the right and made a quick u-turn, taking us down a side road that led right to a little diner.

"Do you have pie radar or something?" Sam asked in admonishing tone, trying not to crack up.

"You're just jealous of my keen pie seeking skills." He parked the Impala out front and pointed at the sign hanging in the window. "And it's not just any pie. It's world famous." He turned around to face me, wiggling his eyebrows at me and giving me a wide grin.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek, keeping my laugh at bay. I was still beating myself up about Charlie, but it was hard not to smile around those two. Sometimes I could even toss a quick one liner at them that left them with wide eyes and gaping mouths. Before Dean and Sam came into my life, I was like a lonely moon, mourning the loss of her planet, the reason for spinning, the reason for being. Now the nights weren't so dark; the moon shared the sky with two bright stars. I could never really forget about _him_. Too much of my life had been consumed by him. Instead, I concentrated on living in the present.

I gave Dean a quick, shy nod before opening my door and sliding out. Sam walked in first and Dean took hold of the door, keeping it open for me. I ducked under his arm and followed Sam to a booth. Sam sat down across from me. I expected to see Dean take a seat next to Sam but instead he shoved me with his shoulder, urging me to scoot over. Dean sat down next to me and reached over, playing with the small jukebox that rested on the table. He pressed button after button, flipping through the selections until he found what he was looking for.

A waitress with wild red hair, wide blue eyes, and cherry painted lips came over to our table to take our order. I looked up and gasped, thinking I was seeing Victoria in front of me. Dean frowned slightly, giving me a look to see if I was okay. I averted my eyes, biting my lip and nodding.

"Hi, I'm Wendy, I'll be your waitress," she said in between loud smacks of gum chewing. "What can I get ya?"

Dean turned to face her with a cocky grin on his face. "We'll have two slices of your..." He drew out the words, "world famous..." licking his lips and raising his eyebrows "...pie?"

The waitress blushed and started giggling as I rolled my eyes. Did she even notice me sitting next to him? Not that Dean and I were together, but he did order for me. It wasn't the first time I felt inferior. The same thing happened when Edward and I ate at that restaurant in Port Angeles. Dean was just another guy too good looking and suave for me to be seen with, and Wendy the waitress knew it. I did have something she didn't. It was called class, and clearly she had none with her short shorts and low cut, tight, white t-shirt and black bra. Even if Dean didn't want me, he needed me. I could read minds (when it decided to work) and could pretty much track anyone or anything. I let out a huff which sounded more like a snort, and Dean looked at me with a smirk.

"Jealous?" he mouthed silently. I shot him a scowl as he reached over me again, purposely pushing his body into mine as he pressed the play button. Cherry Pie started to filter through the speakers, and I started to blush, remembering Dean singing it to me as I slept. I glanced at him to see if the song had the same affect on him, but he quickly looked away.

_'Don't look at her. Don't look at her,' _he chanted in his head. I gave him a questioning look, but he still wouldn't meet my eyes.

Clearly uncomfortable by our little exchange, the waitress turned her gaze to Sam as she continued to chew her gum, waiting for him to order. "And for you, handsome?"

"Um, I'll just have a coffee," Sam said with a soft smile at Wendy.

As Wendy walked away, Dean leaned his head out of the booth and Sam turned around to watch.

I shook my head in disbelief. "You guys are pigs, you know that?"

"We're allowed to have fun on the job. She looked like fun. Didn't she, Sammy?" Sam lowered his eyes, his cheeks reddening slightly.

"Hooking up with random chicks isn't really my thing, Dean. That's more up your alley..." I felt Dean's leg shoot out from next to me as Sam winced in pain. "Ow!"

_'Thanks, Sammy,'_ Dean thought sarcastically.

A curious smile spread across my lips. I tried to see if anything else was going on in his mind, but it was just a jumbled mess. The best way I could describe it was listening to a radio station that horrible signal. I could catch a few words here and there, but then static.

Dean looked down nonchalantly at the paper in front of him, busying himself with the obituary section. I looked back at Sam, and he gave me an awkward side smile. The waitress brought us our pie and placed Sam's coffee down in front of him.

"Can I get you anything else?" Her eyes lingered on Sam as Dean looked up from the paper and smiled around the pen cap he had in his mouth. It was like he was trying to pimp Sam out or something.

"Just the check, please." Sam turned away quickly and the waitress left again.

"Dude, why are you so awkward around the ladies?"

Sam glared at Dean and I took the opportunity to rib him. "Where's your pimp cane and fur jacket, Dean?"

Dean laughed loudly before shoveling a fork full of pie in his mouth. "Here, take a look at this. I think I got..." he mumbled with a mouth full as he shoved the paper across the table to Sam. I looked over the table to see what Sam was reading, noticing the large red circle Dean had made on the paper. Dean took another bite, this time swallowing before speaking. "I think I got one. Lake Manitoc, Wisconsin. Last week Sophie Carlton walked into the lake but didn't walk out. They dragged the water but no body."

Sam tilted his head to the side, contemplating the case. "I don't know, Dean. This doesn't really sound like our kind of case. People do drown. Maybe we should just get back to looking for Dad."

Dean pushed his plate away from him and leaned over the table. "Sophie was on the swim team and a lifeguard during the summer. It's the third one this year. None of the bodies have been found."

Sam nodded. "Alright, so Lake Manitoc."

We pulled up to a little house, more like a shack, nestled between a cluster of large, lush pine trees. The wrap-around porch had seen better days as the wood was bowed and warped. The state of the house was a stark contrast to the pristine lake that surrounded it. Dean cut the engine and I exited the car, putting my hand on my forehead to shield my eyes from the sun's glare. The water was perfectly calm and clear blue. It was beautiful and I had a hard time believing something so awful happened there. We walked up to the porch and I noticed a flattened bike tire poking out from under the lattice. I knelt down, taking a peek, and noticed an old, rusted bike. Reaching between the holes in the lattice, I was able to touch the handle. I almost fell backward as a jolt of electricity ran through my fingertips and up my arm. I stood up and tried to shake it off, but the hairs on the back of my neck were still standing up. Dean pounded a fist on the door as Sam dug into his jacket pocket, readying his badge. The door swung open revealing a haggard looking gray haired man.

Pursing his lips, surveying the man, Dean asked, "Bill Carlton?"

"Yeah, that's right."

Dean and Sam quickly flashed their badges. I stood slightly behind them, Dean's broad shoulders almost making me invisible. I plastered a tight smile on my face, hoping the man either didn't notice me or couldn't tell how forced it was. I wasn't sure what our story would be; we didn't exactly rehearse them, but I was learning to trust the brothers.

"I'm Agent Tyler. This is Agent Perry and our intern Bella," he said, gently grabbing me by the arm and pulling me front and center. I tried to hide my grimace, but at least he wanted me involved, so I forced a smile.

"We're with the US Wildlife Service," Sam added with a confident smile.

Bill guided us down the tiny dock that led out to the lake. My foot caught in one of the wood slats, and I started to trip, almost falling off into the water. Dean's arm reached out and grabbed hold of my elbow.

His fingers still had a firm grasp on me as he narrowed his eyes. "Can you at least watch where you're going?"

I frowned, yanking my arm away, slightly taken back by his harsh tone. He had been really nice to me lately, but then again, I wasn't in any imminent danger. "Sorry."

Bill lifted his arm, a shaking hand pointing out to the water. "She was just a hundred yards out when she got pulled under."

"And you're sure she didn't just drown?" Sam asked.

The man scoffed at Sam. "She practically grew up in that lake. She was as safe out there as she was in the bathtub."

I gave Bill a sympathetic look. "No splashing or signs of distress?"

His eyes started to get teary, probably remembering his daughter who was about my age. "That's what I'm trying to tell you. Sophie was a strong swimmer. You see the lake. It's as smooth as glass."

Sam sidestepped so he was standing next to Bill as he looked out onto the lake. He lowered his voice in a calming manner. "Did you see any shadows in the water?" He raised an eye brow. "Maybe dark shape breach the surface?"

The guy turned to face Dean and me, his eyes shifting from Sam to us as he huffed in frustration. "No!"

"Maybe some strange tracks by the shoreline," Dean asked.

Bill narrowed his eyes and started to raise his voice. "Why? What do you think is out there? The Loch Ness monster?"

Dean cracked a half smile. "We'll let you know as soon as we do."

We hopped back into the car and Dean drove toward the motel. Sam had his father's journal on his lap, flipping through the pages. Dean was pretending to hit a cowbell in the air as he steered with his knees. I laughed, a real loud belly laugh as he lip-synced the words to _Don't Fear the Reaper_, and it felt so good and light, I forced myself to laugh again so I could remember the feeling. Sam cast him a sideways glance and shook his head.

"Needs more cowbell, Sammy," Dean shouted over the music with a smirk.

"You guys don't really think it's the Loch Ness monster do you?"

"I don't know," Sam said, pursing his lips. "This whole lake monster theory... It just bugs me."

"Why?" Dean shrugged. "A lake monster on a binge...we've seen stranger things."

"Yeah but there are literally thousands of eyewitness accounts regarding the Loch Ness monster. But here...almost nothing. Whatever is out there, no one is talking about it."

Loud sirens cut through the air, and I turned around to see three ambulances racing down the road in the direction of the lake. Sam and Dean turned to one another, exchanging a knowing look. Dean threw the car in reverse, tires screeching and smoking as he spun the steering wheel, whipping us around to follow the ambulances.

We pulled up to the Carlton house just as a body bag was being wheeled out on the stretcher. I covered my mouth in shock, but it was coming from the house so that meant whoever died, didn't die in the lake. I didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Bill Carlton stood in the door way of his house, panic stricken across his face as he shook uncontrollably. He started to walk toward the dock and Dean chased after him.

"Mr. Carlton!"

"Leave me alone," he grumbled.

Sam caught up to him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder."Sir, we're really sorry about what happened, but—"

"Both my children are dead. It's worse...it's worse than dying," he said, choking up. "Please, please just leave me alone."

Mr. Carlton looked at me, tears filling his eyes. '_She looks just like her. Why did my baby have to die and she gets to live?' _After he went through memories of Sophie growing up, he started to think about his son and some of his happiest moments. I saw images of them fishing, high school graduation, and finally the moments before he died.

Dean and Sam looked defeated, but his thoughts told me everything we needed to know.

"I'm very sorry for your loss," I added before turning to follow Sam and Dean.

"Well this just sucks. Now we're going to have to go to the morgue to find out the cause of death," Dean grumbled as he opened the car door and got in.

"No we won't. I read Mr. Carlton's mind. His son drowned."

Dean gave me a nod of approval while Sam just looked confused.

"Bella, they found him inside the house. There's no way he drowned," Sam explained.

"Look, I know it sounds crazy but I saw it. Bill was sitting in his chair while his son cleaned a fish at the sink. The next thing he knew, his son's head was in a sink full of water thrashing. Bill went over there to try and help but the kid just kept struggling until he just...stopped."

"What the hell?" Dean shook his head, frowning. "I guess you're right, Sammy. This isn't a creature."

"What could it be?" I asked.

"I don't know. Water wraith, maybe? Some kind of demon? I mean, something that controls water...water that comes from the same source..." Dean started to ramble of his theories, but a nagging feeling I couldn't put my finger on told me he was going in the wrong direction.

I leaned forward and gripped the headrest of both Sam and Dean's seat. "The lake. There's something or someone in the lake causing this. I can feel it."

"What do you mean you can feel it?" Dean turned around to look at me.

"When we first went to talk to Mr. Carlton, I noticed an old bike under the porch. I went to touch it and the damn thing practically shocked me. I can't explain it, but whoever that bike belonged to is causing this...and they are in the lake."

"They dragged the lake when they were looking for the other bodies, Bella. They would have found something.

We drove to a motel that wasn't too far from the Carlton house. It was actually on the river and aptly named, _The Lake Front Motel_. I had a feeling whatever was in that lake was after all of the Carltons, which meant Bill was next. Dean unlocked the door, and I walked in surveying our surroundings. Sam wasn't joking when he said they get the strangest rooms. There were satin hanging lamps with tassels and beaded curtains. I shook my head in disbelief as I focused on the diamond patterned wallpaper that seemed to make the walls move. I sat down on the edge of the bed as Sam pulled up a chair to the small table and took out his laptop. Dean had his duffel open on the other bed, and I felt an unwarranted, sharp twinge as I realized he was staking claim to another bed―one I wouldn't be occupying. I stared on, chewing on my lip as he dug through the bag. He turned his head to the side, looking straight at me, and I quickly lowered my eyes.

The fast tapping of keys brought my gaze to Sam. "So it looks like there's been six more drownings spread out over the past thirty-five years. Those bodies were never found either."

Dean made his way over to him and rested his hands on the chair, leaning over Sam to look at the screen. He lifted his eyes over the laptop, briefly meeting mine before casting them down again.

Sam looked over to me and then turned his head to face Dean. "If somethings out there, it's picking up pace."

I got up off the bed and walked over to the window, pushing aside the beads so I could get a better look. I could just barely make out Mr. Carlton's profile as he sat on the dock, head in his hands. Dean came up behind me, his chest slightly grazing my shoulders. His eyes were trained on the scene outside, but I couldn't help but feel there was something more hiding behind his stare. I welcomed his nearness in the middle of the night when I was alone, tormented by my nightmares; I didn't know how to act in the daylight, when I didn't only feel him but could see him. The weight of his proximity was too much to handle, so I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. That was a mistake as my senses were assaulted by a combination of Irish Spring, leather, and smell that was inherently Dean. I could feel myself start to sway, unsteady feet forcing me closer to him. My instincts told me to curl into his chest and seek the comfort I had started to associate with him, but my mind knew better. I doubted he even knew the affect he had on me, nighttime or otherwise. I needed to end the battle that was raging on inside of me. Whatever was happening between us was my own doing, probably out of desperation and loneliness. I knew straight from the get-go Dean Winchester was not the type of person to get attached to. If I didn't put a stop to this, I'd wind up discarded...just like Edward had left me.

The moment I opened my eyes, I noticed frantic splashing coming from the lake and Mr. Carlton's head bobbing up and down.

"Oh my God!" I gasped. Dean must not have been paying close enough attention, or maybe he wasn't looking at Mr. Carlton at all because he was as shocked as I was.

I pushed past Dean and took off running to the dock.

"Bella! Bella, wait!" The pounding of my feet drowned out his voice.

At the dock, I tore off my sweatshirt and kicked off my shoes and dove in. My arms cut through the rough waters as I swam as fast as I could to Mr. Carlton. His arms were flailing and splashing as he gasped for air. I was able to wrap an arm around him and still him for a second as I tried to maneuver my body to get him in a hold. I held him in the crook of my elbow as I tried to swim with my free arm. Wading through the water, we made it about three feet before I felt something try to yank us under. I kicked my legs and fought harder, but something kept pulling at me, causing me to bob under. I still had a hold on Mr. Carlton, keeping him above the water at all costs. It took all my strength to push my head out of the water. Dean was almost to the dock. I couldn't hear his screams over the rush of water and the pounding of my heart, but his lips were moving frantically. Sam was hot on his heels. Just before my muscles gave out completely, I gave Mr. Carlton's limp body a shove, casting him out for Dean to save before letting myself drift into the cold, wet, darkness.

Instead of fighting, reaching out to the surface, kicking my legs harder, I just let go. It wasn't the cold that my whole body numb and my brain fuzzy; I was just tired of fighting―everything. I had been fighting for so long, grasping at threads, trying to maintain some semblance of a normal life. I would never have that. I thought maybe I had found a place with Dean and Sam, but my inability to really let Edward go made that impossible. In an attempt to bury him, my heart decided to play tricks on me, making me see things that probably didn't even exist. Dean wasn't a replacement for Edward, so I did the only thing I was good at and gave up.

As the water washed over me, I felt at peace. It was funny actually. I figured I'd see my life flash before my eyes, but instead I saw Edward clear as day, every flawless detail of his face from the iridescent gold flecks in his eyes to his glowing alabaster skin. I let my fingers float away, needing to touch the hard line of his jaw just one more time. Freezing water rushed into my ears, and my legs and arms started to cramp up. My lungs burned for more air as more water fought its way into my airways. Every instinct inside me told me to fight, but I was too happy where I was. Dying was easy.

Suddenly, I felt a searing, piercing pain in my right shoulder. It felt as if an iron claw from one of those vending machines had a hold of me.

"Breathe," a voice ordered, frantic and wild with anxiety. I felt another stabbing pain as something with the equal force of sledgehammer struck me in the chest. "Dammit, Bella, breathe! C'mon!" More pounding on my chest. "Don't you do this. Breathe!"

I realized it wasn't a hammer but Dean's fists trying to pump the water out of my lungs. I fought with the dark circles swimming behind my eyes, fighting to regain consciousness. I felt the rough tips of his fingers pinch my nose and firm lips against my own as he forced air into my lungs. He pressed his mouth to mine again, pushing more air into me as my lungs burned in protest. I started to cough, water trickling down my chin as he tilted my head up and to the side. More water started to pour out in spurts, and I coughed some more. It felt as if my airways had been scrubbed with a wire brush.

"Dean?" I managed to croak out.

He pulled away, relief washing over his face. "Bella!" He gathered me in his arms and crushed me to his chest. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

I slowly shook my head. "J...just m..my throat," I stuttered out between shivers.

He pushed away the wet matted hair from my face and draped his jacket over me, sliding his arms under my knees and lifting me without any effort. "You stupid, crazy girl." His voice was oddly soft. "What the hell were you thinking?"

I let my head loll over his arms as I stared vacantly at the lake. I didn't have the energy to argue with him. I felt like my whole body had just gone to war and lost.

"You got her?" I heard Sam ask as we walked past him. He was huddled over Mr. Carlton, who much to my relief was still alive. Mr. Carlton had his head in his knees, sobbing.

"Yeah." Dean's gruff voice made me shiver some more. "I'm gonna take her back to the house to get her warm. Bring Bill back once he's calmed down enough to talk."

Dean placed me gently on the couch and wrapped a blanket around me. I couldn't stop shivering. His brows knitted together. "Look, I'm not trying to be a perv here, but the only way you're gonna get warm is if you get out of those wet clothes."

I nodded in agreement and Dean turned his back to me. I fussed a bit, twisting and turning, trying to get my wet, clingy shirt off, but I managed. My jeans were the next to go. I let out a huff as the bunched denim around my legs was proving to be more difficult. I got up off the couch and kicked them away. Finally, my clothes were shed and left in a pile on the floor. Standing in only a white cotton bra and boy shorts, I wrapped the wool blanket around me tightly, hoping to cover as much skin as possible.

"Decent?" he asked.

I nodded stupidly before realizing he couldn't see me. "Yes," I squeaked out.

He spun around, keeping his eyes down. I nervously wiggled my toes, and I heard him chuckle under his breath. When he lifted his head, I was met with wide eyes and a lopsided grin.

"Um..." he coughed to clear his throat "...I'll go see if there's something of Sophie's you can wear." The gesture was nice, but I couldn't help but shudder at the thought of wearing the clothes of a dead girl.

As Dean barreled up the stairs, the front door swung open, revealing Sam and a very shook up Mr. Carlton.

"Bella was right. It's the bike." Sam said as he walked in, ushering in Mr. Carlton and looking around for Dean. "Dean? Bella?" He turned the corner and his eyes scanned my bare legs. "Where's Dean?"

I opened my mouth to speak just as Dean came down the stairs with an oversized t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. He walked over and handed them to me without a word and proceeded to stalk over to Mr. Carlton. He gave the old man a shove and started yelling.

"Do you have any idea what you've done? She could have died!" he yelled, his eyes on fire and nostrils flaring.

His anger was misplaced; we still didn't know the role Mr. Carlton played in all this. He was probably angry at me, but took it out on someone that could actually respond. I was still in too much of a daze to comprehend what was going on.

Sam put his hand on Dean, stilling him and urging him away from Mr. Carlton. "Dean, cut it out." He walked over to Mr. Carlton and led him to a chair.

"Only an accident," the old man's voice shook. "An accident. Just an accident." Mr. Carlton repeated it over and over again as he rocked back and forth in the chair, obviously in shock.

"The bike belonged to a little boy named Peter," Sam explained. "Bill and his friends used to tease him and bully him. One day they dared him to run out onto the docks. It had just rained and the wood was slick. Peter slipped and fell into the water. They didn't know he didn't know how to swim. By the time they got to him it was too late. They never told anyone and hid his bike under Bill's porch."

I excused myself to go change while Sam and Dean went outside to burn the bike. Mr. Carlton's voice startled me when I came back into the living room. "I didn't mean for you to get hurt. He wanted me. If he took me this would all be over."

I shook my head in disagreement. "But you'd be dead. The brothers will fix this. They're gonna stop him"

"I didn't want to be saved. He already took everyone I loved from me. I have nothing left," he cried.

A lump started to form in my throat, and I swallowed thickly, knowing all to well how he felt. Dean and Sam walked back in, followed by the smell of smoke in the air.

Mr. Carlton looked up at Dean and asked, "Are you going to call the cops?"

Dean shook his head and narrowed his eyes at him. "I should, but we're not in that sorta business. I think your suffering is punishment enough." Dean turned to face me. "Ready to go, sweetheart?" I nodded and picked up my wet clothes from the floor.

I was afraid to meet the old man's eyes because I knew I would see myself there. It was another reminder of why I couldn't continue like this. I may not have wanted to fight for my life back in the lake, but Dean had saved me. I was given a second chance, one I wasn't entirely sure I wanted, but it was too late for that. It was time I started living.

Later that night, back at the motel, I opted to stay in the comfort of the room while Dean and Sam decided to hit up a local bar for a few beers. I rushed to the bathroom to take a shower, unsure of whether the chill or the fact that I had been wearing a dead girl's clothes made for the urgency. After taking a long hot shower, I was able to finally shake the cold that had seeped into my bones. I changed into my own sweats, feeling a little strange wearing the clothes of a dead girl. The warm sheets were smooth against my arms and face as I snuggled under the blankets. I took a few deep, relaxing breaths, hoping sleep would come easy even if it was out of sheer exhaustion. I wasn't sure how long I stared at the ceiling for, but the clicking of a key in the door alerted me to Sam and Dean's arrival home. I quickly shut my eyes, feigning sleep―something I had become exceedingly good at since bunking with the Winchesters. Imagine my surprise when I felt Dean slide into my bed without even a whimper of cry from me, indicating I was in the throws of a nightmare. I tried not to tense as I felt him move closer and closer, but as he wrapped an arm around my waist and brushed my still damp hair behind my ear with his other hand, relaxing was easier than breathing. My body melted into the bed as my breaths slowed to a steady rhythm, and I knew sleep was just around the corner. The last thing I heard was Dean's soft voice whispering, "Goodnight, Bella."

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E/N- How's the UST treating you? I know my skin is just vibrating right now. Reviews are better than Dean giving you mouth to mouth and crawling into bed with you all in the same night. You know the drill...reviewers get a teaser for the next chapter.


	9. Scorched Memories

A/N – Sorry about the delay. I usually update on Fridays, but it was my anniversary weekend, and the hubs distracted me. Okay so a little side note: I've mixed around the SPN storyline a bit. Sam has been getting visions of other "special children" that he and Dean have saved before they rescued Bella from the Wendigo. This episode is technically the first realization he has had about Yellow Eyes being connected to his visions in the show, but I'm changing it up a bit to fit my storyline. If you're confused or have any questions, feel free to PM me. Team Bean rocks my socks. Truth.

See you at the bottom. I've got something exciting to share.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I don't even think I own myself anymore...my ass belongs to a certain Winchester, clearly.

This chapter is brought to you by the song, "Fire" by Augustana.

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Chapter 9 – Scorched Memories

I felt a scorching heat flooding over my body, a sizzle starting at my tailbone and curving up my spine. Opening my eyes, I saw Sam sound asleep in the bed to the left of me. The room was still mostly dark, except for the faint glow of the full moon coming through the beaded curtains. Still a little disorientated and sleep dazed, I scanned the room for Dean, the oppressive warmth still lingering. When I didn't find him right away, I attempted to sit up, straining a little as I was met with resistance. Looking down, I noticed the smooth skin of Dean's arm, tightly wrapped around my waist. Struggling a little more, I freed myself from his vice grip. He sleepily groaned in protest and then rolled over onto his stomach. Just as my bare feet touched the ground, Sam's eyes popped open as he gasped to catch his breath. Carefully, I lifted myself off the bed and made my way over to him.

"Nightmare?" I asked, making myself comfortable at the foot of his bed.

He ran his hands through his shaggy hair, his eyes dark and tired. Looking past me and over to Dean who was currently passed out, dead to the world, he shook his head. "Not just a nightmare. Yellow Eyes."

Sam reached over to his nightstand and pulled the drawer open, searching for paper and something to write with. He started to sketch something that looked like a tree. I watched intently until his eyes snapped up and met mine.

"Bella, wake Dean up. We need to leave now." He rushed over to his duffel and started digging through it.

I hesitantly looked over to Dean and bit my lip. If I woke him, he'd be mad. He would know that I knew he held me during the night...when I didn't need it and didn't ask for it.

I walked over to a sleeping Dean and cocked my head to the side, a pained expression on my face. "I don't think this is such a good idea."

Sam stopped what he was doing, lifting an old Polaroid from the bag. His jaw flexed slightly as he narrowed his eyes at me. "We don't have time for this. If Dean wants to be immature and do the whole internal tug of war thing with you, that's his problem," he snapped.

I glowered at Sam, not really understanding what he meant. His eyes softened. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm not mad at you. Dean has never really had to make his own decisions. He always just listened to whatever our Dad said—the perfect soldier, following orders," he said with a sad shake of his head. "I know it's gotta be tough on you, the emotional whiplash, but he needs to work this out on his own." He offered me a shy smile. "If it's any consolation, I'm almost ninety-nine percent sure, he'll figure it out."

I took a deep breath and frowned. Sam was never vague, but he was purposely leaving out the details, and it sort of bugged me. I tried to tune in, see if I could hear him. Instead of static, I heard complete silence. It was odd, as if he was void of thought. Unless... Maybe I couldn't hear Sam at all. It wasn't entirely out of the realm of possibility. Edward could never listen in on my thoughts. Quickly, I forgot about all Sam had said and now pondered what not being able to hear him meant.

Leaning over Dean, I proceeded to shake him awake. "Dean," I whisper-shouted. He rolled over onto his back and moaned, eyes still closed with a big sleepy smile on his face. "Dean," I said a little louder. Obviously what I was doing wasn't enough. I knelt on the bed, my knees on either side of him. I grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him violently. "Dean!"

His eyes shot open, shining hazel green meeting my own. His tongue swept across his lower lip in a seductive way, happy creases at the corners of his eyes. Part of me wanted to savor the moment since seeing him so carefree was hard to come by. The other part of me was terrified of his reaction once he realized I was on to him. How many nights had he slipped into the bed with me without me knowing? I could answer my own question. Every night since we saved Bill Carlton because I hadn't had anymore nightmares.

"Bella?" he questioned, quirking a cocky side smile. I looked down at him, my brows knitted together in worry. "Bella!" He rolled out from under me, almost causing me to fall of the bed. "What are you doing?"

Sam walked over to Dean and threw down the sketch on the bed. "Look familiar to you?"

Dean picked the drawing with one hand and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes with the heel of his other. "I don't know...maybe?"

I had made my way over to Sam and was close enough to see the picture he was holding. It had aged so the colors weren't as vivid, but the freckles on the young boy and the eyes were unmistakable. He was flanked by a good looking man with thick sideburns and a pretty blonde holding what must have been an infant Sam. They were a happy family standing in front of a modest house and a large oak tree.

Sam handed him the Polaroid picture. "This was taken in front of our old house, right? The house where Mom died?"

Dean looked at the piece of paper and the picture and compared the two. "Yeah. Nice drawing. You trying to be the next Picasso or something?"

After a long sigh, Sam snatched the picture and the drawing out of Dean's hands. "We need to go back home—to Kansas."

Curling his lip, Dean said, "Okay, random. Where did that come from?"

"I think they rebuilt the house, and I think the people who live there now...I think they might be in danger."

"You want me to go back _there_..." Dean quickly looked over to me and I frowned, noticing the sadness etched on his features before he turned back to Sam. He lowered his voice and shook his head, refusing to meet our worried stares. "When I promised myself I would never go back there?"

Sam looked at Dean with sympathy in his eyes and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Dean, we have to check this out. I mean that's where it all started, man. This has to mean something, right?"

I busied myself by packing my things, feeling like I was intruding on an intimate moment. Sam hadn't shared the specifics with me, just that his mother died in a fire and a demon, Yellow Eyes, had caused it. From what I'd gathered, Dean took it pretty hard. Going back to the place of childhood nightmares, the place that basically set his entire life on course, couldn't be easy.

"You think Yellow Eyes is behind this?" he asked stoically.

Sam bit his lower lip and nodded. "I do."

~o~

We pulled up outside the Winchesters' old house. Not much had changed. It was almost identical to the house in the picture, even down to the brown garage with the white door. The house looked like it may have gotten a fresh coat of paint and new shutters, but the large oak tree was still full of leaves and thriving.

Dean remained still, his eyes shut tight and his hands squeezing the steering wheel. My heart ached for him. I could only imagine what he was feeling. It was the same reason I never ventured to the Cullen home after they left Forks.

"You gonna be alright, man?" Sam asked.

Dean cut the engine and opened his door, looking to Sam before getting out. "Let me get back to you on that."

We walked up to the front door and Dean took a deep breath before knocking. A woman in her early thirties with frizzy auburn hair and a friendly smile answered the door.

"Yes?"

Dean cleared his throat and plastered a smile on his face. "Sorry to bother you, ma'am, but we're with the Federal—"

"I'm Sam Winchester and this is my brother, Dean, and our friend Bella. We used to live here. You know, we were just drivin' by..." he smiled and chuckled under his breath "...and we were wondering if we could come see the old place."

"Winchester?" she asked, looking up with her eyes trying to figure something out. She brought her hand to her chin and smiled. "That's so funny. You know, I think I came across some of your things the other night."

"You did?" Dean looked at Sam and then back to the woman in complete shock.

She opened the door wider and motioned for us to come in. "I'm Jenny, by the way."

Sam looked around admiring the layout. He probably didn't remember much. It was a nice house, open concept, with hardwood floors in the rooms and terracotta tile in the kitchen. I was slightly jealous of her kitchen. The appliances were stainless steel and all brand new. Deep double sinks and a mosaic back splash, the counter space alone was enough to make me envious. I cataloged all the different meals I could prepare in a kitchen that size.

I spun around the kitchen in awe. "This is a really nice place you have here."

Jenny let out a sigh and smiled sadly. She turned to Sam and Dean and said, "Well, uh, all due respect to your childhood home—I mean, I'm sure you had lots of happy memories here..." Dean grimaced, trying to force a smile "...but this place has its issues."

"Really?" Sam nodded, tossing a quick glance to Dean and me. "What kind of problems?"

Jenny bit her lip, obviously feeling bad about complaining. "Well, it's just getting old. Like the wiring, you know? We've got flickering lights almost hourly."

Dean's eyes widened as he pursed his lips and nodded in agreement. "Oh, that's too bad. What else?"

She twisted her mouth into a frown and motioned toward the sink with a nod of her head. "Um…sink's backed up, there's rats in the basement." Jenny took a deep breath and looked at Sam and Dean. "I'm sorry. I really don't want to bash your old house."

Sam smiled kindly as Dean put up his hands showing no offense was taken. "Don't worry about it. So, have you seen the rats or just heard the scratching?"

Jenny squeezed her eyebrows together. "Just the scratching, actually."

A little girl, who couldn't be more than seven years old, with pin straight blonde hair and big blue eyes came stumbling into the room. She looked straight at me and I waved my hand slightly. She turned to face Sam and Dean and tugged on the hem of her mother's shirt to get her attention. When Jenny wouldn't acknowledge her she started to whine.

"Mom, ask them if it lived here when they lived here."

"Sari, go back upstairs. It isn't polite to interrupt when grownups are talking."

"I don't want to." She pouted and glared at her mother. "That's where it is."

Sam knelt down to Sari's level. "Where what is, Sari?"

"The monster in my closet," the little girl answered, her eyes welling with tears.

Jenny scooped her daughter up in her arms. "Baby, I told you there's no such things as monsters." She looked over to Sam and Dean for assurance. "Tell her. You never had any monsters in your closet, right?"

I covered my mouth with a fist, trying to hide my smile. Dean plastered on a stern, serious face. "Right..." he pursed his lips together and shook his head back and forth "...nope...no, no of course not."

She smoothed her daughter's hair back and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "She had this nightmare last night..."

"It wasn't a nightmare," she cried. "It was real. It came into my bedroom and was on fire."

Dean and Sam looked back at one another, eyes wide with shock. After Jenny handed the brothers a cardboard box of some of their things, we said our goodbyes. Walking back to the car, I noticed they both had tense, straight backs and flexed jaws. Saying this was hitting a little close to home would have been the understatement of the century. I decided it would be best to just sit back and listen, instead of offering up any of my theories.

We got into the car and Dean started it up, keeping his eyes on the road without even chancing a glance at Sam or me. Sam looked out the window in silence. I so badly wanted to say something, anything to alleviate their pain, but the words just wouldn't come. What does one say in a situation like that? 'Sorry the thing that killed your mom is back and at it again.'

Sam turned to Dean with pensive but tortured eyes and asked, "You think it's really _him_?"

Dean let out a frustrated sigh. "I don't know!"

"Well has he ever come back?" Sam prodded. "Maybe it never left. How could we just leave after that? How could Dad just take off on this quest without even waiting to see if he'd show up again?"

Fierce eyes, darkening almost completely, glared at Sam as Dean threw the car into park at a gas pump. "The thing was long gone by the time Dad got to her. If you remembered what it was like...you wouldn't have wanted to stay there either."

Sam lowered his eyes, sadness gracing his boyish face. "How much do you remember exactly?"

"About that night? All of it. Seeing Mom pinned to the ceiling, burning alive with a big bloody gash across her abdomen, lifting you out of the crib...you crying, watching the light go out in Dad's eyes as we stood outside and watched our whole life go up in flames... You're lucky you don't remember it."

My heart broke all over for Dean, little shards of already shattered glass floating around in my bloodstream, making new cuts. He had every right to be the angry person he had become. No one should ever have to see any of that. He saved Sam that night and had been ever since. It all made sense now. His father abandoned him, leaving him to take care of Sam, setting him on this course and not even giving him a chance to live his own life. He was meant to be a hunter from the beginning. He didn't have any more of a choice in this life than I did. Closing himself off and acting tough was probably the only way he knew how to act. Dean was emotionally stunted. I could tell he loved his brother, but I wondered if he resented him even a little. Sam tried to get out of this life, another person Dean loved leaving him behind.

"I've gotta hit the can," Dean said as he opened the door and got out.

Sam nodded and moved around the back of the car to fill her up. While Sam was busy swiping the credit card, which was most likely stolen, at the pump, I watched Dean duck around the corner of the store, the complete opposite direction of the bathroom. I got out of the car and Sam raised an eyebrow as he held the gas nozzle in his hand.

I smiled shyly and said, "Human moment." Sam's eyes narrowed, and I noticed my slip. I shook my head and laughed under my breath at my stupidity. "I have to go to the bathroom."

I quietly walked around the building and hid behind a trash barrel that was close enough to Dean where I could remain unseen but still see and hear exactly what was going on. He took out his cell phone, staring at the screen for a long minute before putting it up to his ear. He started to pace nervously before speaking.

"Dad, I know we didn't leave things that great between us before you left. I'm still mad as hell." He cleared his throat. "But the thing is, I'm with Sam and this girl Bella..."

I watched as he shook his head and cracked a small smile at my name.

"She's really something, Dad. She reminds me of you, stubborn and thinks she knows everything, thinks she can save everyone. Pretty selfless too. She basically sacrificed herself to save this guy..." he flexed his jaw and narrowed his eyes "...if you ask me didn't even deserve to live. Anyway, we're in Lawrence and there's somethin' in our old house. I think he's back. Yellow Eyes." He scrubbed a hand over his face as his voice started to break, barely keeping it together. "I don't know what to do..."

I almost fell over when I saw a lone tear fall down his cheek. Dean sniffled and continued.

"I'm scared. Sammy's been havin' these dreams. They've all come true. We've saved most of the people, that's how we found Bella actually. They're all connected. And now they're both having dreams about him, about Yellow Eyes. You gotta tell me what to do. Please. You gotta call me back. I need your help, Dad."

He shoved his phone back into his pocket and started back toward the car. I scrambled around the QuickMart and went through a side door. I bought a large bag of potato chips, three Cokes, and a Snickers bar. I made my way to the Impala and Dean shot me a smile as he eyed my purchases. We settled into the car, and I figured it was finally time to break my silence.

"So what's the plan?" I took out a few chips and held them in the palm of my hand as I passed the bag to the front. Dean anxiously took it and shoved a handful in his mouth, munching loudly.

Sam took the bag away from him so Dean would pay attention. "I say we treat this like any other job. So if we're gonna figure out what's happening now, we gotta find out exactly what happened back then."

Dean nodded. "Okay, so we talk to Dad's friends, neighbors, people that were there at the time..." Dean caught a glimpse of me staring at him in the rear view mirror. His eyes were more green than hazel and I knew it was the tears that caused the change of color.

"If this is too hard for you..." I sucked my lower lip into my mouth "...I can go talk to those people." I lowered my eyes before finishing. "If you even want me around," I said in barely a whisper.

Sam had assured me I wasn't going anywhere after Dean had tried to send me home. It was more of a privacy thing. This had to be extremely emotional for them, and I just felt like I was intruding. I would have been perfectly fine staying in the motel room while they sorted this out. Even if Yellow Eyes was behind this, I'd probably be safer anyway. He told me he wanted me, and I had a feeling he would make sure he got what he wanted.

"Of course we want you around, Bella." Sam looked to Dean for affirmation and he nodded abruptly. He turned around to face me. "Thanks for the offer, but this is something we're gonna have to do...even if we don't want to."

We drove a little ways down the road and pulled into an empty parking lot. We parked in between two large poles that held a pretty badly beaten up sign that said, "Guenther's Auto Repair". There was a large warehouse with a single garage door in the front. It was open and as we parked, I noticed a man with a welding mask on, sparks shooting from the acetylene torch as he brought it to the underside of a car that was lifted in the air.

Dean and Sam got out of the car, but I kept my distance, staying a few steps behind them. I sort of stood in the shadows, leaning up against one of the walls. I could hear everything, but I was far enough that I could pretend I didn't if something too personal came up. The man lifted his mask and wiped his head down with a red, grease stained rag.

Dean pulled out a small notebook and pretended to look through his notes. "So you and John Winchester...you used to own this garage together?"

"Yeah, we used to...a long time ago." He looked up to the ceiling and then back to Dean before stuffing the rag in his back pocket. "Matter of fact, it must be, uh, twenty years since John disappeared." He knitted his brows together in question. "Why are the cops so interested all of a sudden?"

"Oh, we're re-opening some of our unsolved cases, and the Winchester disappearance is one of em'." Dean gave him a confident smile and went back to scribbling in his notebook.

The man nodded in understanding and pursed his lips together. "Well, what do you wanna know about John?"

Dean dipped his head to the side and smiled warmly. "Whatever you remember, you know, whatever sticks out in your mind."

"He was a stubborn bastard. I remember that." The man chuckled, his eyes glassing over in fond memory. The man probably wasn't paying attention to me, but I smiled anyway. Dean wasn't the only one that thought his father was stubborn. "And, uh, whatever the game, he hated to lose, you know? It's that whole Marine thing." I caught a knowing glance between Sam and Dean as they both nodded. "But, oh, he sure loved Mary. And he doted on those kids."

I had this picture of John in my head, this scary warrior with an ax to grind, smiting anything in the way of finding who killed his wife. I hadn't met the man yet, but if Dean saw our similarities, I had a good feeling that we'd get along just fine.

Sam scrunched up his nose and narrowed his eyes, obviously in disagreement. "But that was before the fire?"

"That's right." He looked at Sam with questioning eyes. "What are you getting at, son?"

"Did he ever talk about it?" Sam pressed.

"He was different after, probably in shock. I can't really explain it. He wasn't acting like himself, really jumpy and paranoid. He wasn't thinkin' straight. Said something caused the fire that killed Mary."

Dean stepped forward and gave the man a stern look. "He ever say what did it?"

The man threw his hands up in the air. "Nothin' did it. It was an accident—an electrical short in the ceiling or walls or somethin'. Believe me, I begged him to get some help. I knew it wasn't good for the boys to see him...see him so unhinged, but—"

"But what?" Dean urged.

"He just got worse and worse."

"How?" Dean shot off the questions in rapid fire.

"He wasn't dealin' with her death at all. Convinced himself _somethin' _did this to her. It was pretty sad. Started readin' these strange ol' books and seein' this palm reader in town. God knows how much money he spent listening to her lies. They prey on people like that."

Dean raised his eyes at the mention of a palm reader. "You got a name?"

The man scoffed, shaking his head like the whole thing was crazy. "No."

There was an open room at a little hole in the wall place called, "The Sleep Easy Motel." I wasn't convinced on the name because the gaudy wallpaper consisting of metallic embossed roses and the gold lamé shower curtains as blinds made it anything but. Sam went straight to the nightstand and pulled out a phone book.

Dean was splayed out on the bed, flipping through the channels. This was one of the smaller rooms we had stayed in, so there wasn't a couch for me to sit on. I could easily sit next to Sam, but the masochist in me eyed the spot next to Dean. His eyes caught mine for the briefest second and he patted the spot. I slowly made my way over to him and sat down, making sure to leave enough room between us. He was reclined anyway, so as long as I didn't decide to lay down next to him—which was highly unlikely, especially with both of us wide awake—I was safe. I was leery of our physical interactions as of late. With each encounter, from comforting me after a nightmare to me to saving me from drowning, I found myself longing for more than just protection. I was physically attracted to Dean; I'd have to be blind not to be, but something else drew me in. Maybe it was comfort. Maybe it was a sense of camaraderie, like we were in this together. Whatever the case, I knew how dangerous it was to get close to someone like Dean.

Sam looked up from the Yellow Pages. "All right, so there are a few psychics and palm readers in town.

I smirked raising an unconvinced eyebrow. Who knew psychics had their own directory with the phone company?

Sam smiled and nodded. "I know, right? There's someone named El Divino. There's, uh..." he made a lemon face, trying to stifle his laughter "...there's the Mysterious Mister Fortinsky. Uh, Missouri Moseley..."

Dean fumbled for the remote, accidentally brushing my leg, and muted the television. He sat up, turning to face Sam. "Wait, wait. Missouri Moseley?"

Sam nodded apprehensively. "What?"

Furrowing his brows together, Dean asked, "That's a psychic?" His voice was low and still unsure as he was trying to piece the information together.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess so." Sam gave him a confused look. "Dean, what's going on?"

Dean quickly got up from the bed and dug into his bag, pulling out his father's journal. He flipped to the first page and stared at it for a minute.

"Here, look at this," he said, thrusting the journal into Sam's hands. "First page, first sentence. Read it."

Sam scanned the mechanical writing. "I went to Missouri, and I learned the truth." He looked to Dean for answers.

Dean shrugged. "I always thought he meant the state." Loud, crunchy guitar riffs startled us all. Dean palmed his pocket to retrieve his cell phone. "Hello?" I couldn't make out anything on the other line besides the frantic voice of a woman. "We're on our way."

He hung up the phone and shoved it into his pocket, grabbing his jacket off the floor. "Come on, we gotta go."

"What's going on?" Sam asked, getting up from the bed.

"That was Jenny. A plumber's arm got chewed up by a garbage disposal that didn't have any juice, and she found her toddler locked in the refrigerator."

"You gave her your number?" I asked with a tinge of jealousy and even shocked myself at my forwardness. It was really none of my business.

Dean hesitated at the door and narrowed his eyes at me, sending me an icy glare. "In case something happened." His voice was short and clipped, as if I should have known his intentions.

We didn't even have time to park the Impala before the screaming started. Sam and Dean rushed out of the car, and I followed closely behind them, the distinct smell of smoke swirling around us. I took another sniff and stopped in my tracks. "Guys, do you smell that?"

Dean paused, pulling his hand away from the door knob as Sam turned his head in every direction, searching for the smell but coming up short.

"Smoke," I said, as I squeezed past Dean and through the doorway.

"Bella, wait!" Dean feet were loud as he stomped along the hardwood floor searching the house for Jenny. "Jenny? Sari?"

The house wasn't filled with smoke, but I could smell it. It was coming from upstairs. Starting for the stairs, I took two steps at a time.

"Bella, no!" Dean yelled, rushing past me, shotgun in hand. He accidentally shoved me, and I lost my balance. Dean must have heard my unsteady feet and spun around with a panicked face as I was about to fall down a flight of stairs.

Sam appeared out of nowhere and caught me. "It's alright. I got her." He said as my back crashed against his chest. I could hear Dean trying to break the door down with his shoulder while the cries of Jenny and her children filled the hallway. The door finally gave way and Dean burst through, shotgun aimed at a fiery figure.

"Go!" he shouted at Jenny as she scooped up her kids and ran out of the room.

The flames continued to lick around the figure. Sam stood by Dean's side, starring down the apparition in front of us. The flames continued to dance as the figure spun around, and I was able to make out a face. It was the woman from the picture.

Grabbing hold of Dean's forearm, I struggled to lower it. "Dean, don't. I think I know who it is."

Suddenly the flames vanished and standing in front of us was Mary Winchester. She was beautiful in a white flowing satin nightgown, her blonde hair in soft curls. She had Dean's light coloring, even down the freckled cheeks and expressive eyes.

"Mom?" Dean asked in disbelief as the gun fell to the floor, and he closed the space between them.

A joyful smile spread across her face. "Dean," she said, spreading her arms to him.

Dean's eyes filled with tears before he rushed to her. She wrapped her arms around him as his shoulders shook with silent sobs. Her eyes met Sam who was still in shock. Tears started to fall down his face. She raised an arm, motioning for him to join them. He went straight into her arms and they hugged. Sam and Dean pulled away at the same time, both looking more like boys than I had ever seen.

Mary turned toward me and smiled warmly, taking a few steps in my direction. "And you must be Bella. It's very nice to meet you." My eyes widened in surprise as Dean and Sam exchanged a look. She reached out and took my hand in hers. "Yes, I know exactly who you are, sweetie. They're talking an awful lot about you up there..." she motioned with her eyes to the ceiling "...and down there," she said, lowering her voice.

She brought her other hand over to cup our joined hands. "Don't be scared. My boys will keep you safe. She looked over at Dean and gave him the 'mom' look. "Won't you, Dean?"

Dean lowered his head, shoving his hands in his jean pockets and nodded in agreement. Mary's lips turned up in half-smile. "You can help each other."

I laughed nervously. "That's the plan."

"No." She widened her eyes and gently squeezed my hand and whispered so only I could hear. "You and Dean. You're good for him, Bella." Dropping my hand she pulled me into an embrace, and I instinctively rested my head on her shoulder as she held me.

I missed this type of interaction. It had been so long since I'd seen Renee, and even then she wasn't much for motherly touches; she cared more about being my best friend than my mother. Esme was the closest thing I had to a mother, and she was gone with the rest of them. She slowly pulled away, and Dean gave us both a strange look. She smiled, her face still beaming with love for her sons.

"Mom, what's going on?" Sam asked.

"When they sent me back, there was a tag along, a few nasty poltergeists. You know how the supernatural is." She shrugged and laughed softly. "Where there's one, there's always more. Don't worry, I took care of this one and your Dad is hunting down the others."

Sam stepped back, surprised. "You know where Dad is?"

Dean ignored Sam and started to raise his voice. "What do you mean _they_ sent you back?"

Mary gave Dean a sad smile. "It's complicated. You wouldn't believe me if I told you," she said, pausing for a moment as she searched for the right thing to say. "You're not ready to know yet. I don't have much time before they come to get me. Azazel is back and has changed his plan. He's abandoning his special children..." she tossed a worried look to Sam and then looked at me "...he doesn't need them anymore now that he has you."

"What? Me?" I scrunched my eyes together and shook my head. "I don't...I...no..." Struggling to comprehend, I took a deep breath. "What does that mean?"

"The yellow-eyed demon chose a bunch of children to give special powers to as babies by making them drink his blood. Sam was one of them." Sam looked on in horror. "I'm sorry, baby. I tried to stop him." As she spoke, blood started to seep through her nightgown in a large slash across her abdomen. She looked at her stomach, her eyes filling with fear. "They'll be here soon. He wanted one of his children to rise up and lead his demon army. He had a soft spot for Sam, but it's not him." She frowned slightly, sympathy in her eyes. "It's you. You're the very special child."

A bright, piercing light shot through the ceiling as her head fell back and her eyes and mouth started to illuminate. A column of light surrounded her body as she started to levitate to the sky.

"No!" Dean screamed as he ran toward her to stop her ascent.

"What about Dad?" Sam cried.

"He'll find you when he's ready. Just keep Bella safe." Her words lingered long after she had vanished.

~o~

"It just doesn't make sense," Sam said, shuffling his feet along the dingy linoleum floor of the motel lobby.

Dean halted inserting the key into the door and turned around. "When does anything in our life make sense, Sammy?" He opened the door and held it for me as I walked in.

Sam came in after me and Dean shut the door behind him. We all heard a rustling in the dark. I could make out the outline of a man standing by the window.

Dean reached into his coat and pulled out his handgun. "Hey!" he yelled as Sam flicked on the lights. A man in a dark green field jacket turned around.

He had a thick mustache that reminded me of Charlie and a dark scruffy beard with a smattering of gray.

His full lips turned up into a smile. "Hey, boys."

* * *

E/N – I don't even have to ask if you know who the mystery guest is. What are we feeling about what Mary had to say? Do we have any clue who sent her back and what for?

Reviews are better than eavesdropping on a phone call where Dean kinda sorta maybe lets his feelings for you slip.

***special announcement*** I know I'm a very visual person, so to go along with each chapter, I will be linking up images on my photobucket account. Check my profile for the link. I'll also be including music, which I did above, in case you didn't notice.

Final thing...(God, I'm wordy today) The lovely MissJanuary (and beloved member of Team Bean) interviewed me. Check it out! .com(backslash)2012(backslash)07(backslash)20(backslash)author-interview-maxipoo1024(backslash)


	10. Daddy Dearest

A/N – This chapter is biblical heavy. I tried my best to work in different theories, as well as the SPN storyline. Some things have been tweaked to fit my agenda. I hope you can follow, but if not...I'm always around to answer all your questions, so feel free to send me a PM. Thanks to my Team Bean. They're amazing and I love them all dearly. Hold on tight, spider monkeys. Here comes Papa Winchester.

*Links are now up on FF so check my profile for the visuals to this chapter*

This chapter is brought to you by _All These Things That I Have Done _by the Killers.

* * *

**Chapter 10 – Daddy Dearest**

"Dad?" Sam and Dean asked, speaking in unison.

Dean immediately took a step forward, closing the distance between him and his father. Both wrapped their arms around one another, sharing a long, emotional embrace. I looked over to Sam, a tortured look on his face before he lowered his eyes. Then men pulled apart a few seconds later, the older man staring back at Sam, a sad smile on his face.

"Hi, Sam."

Sam awkwardly shoved his hands in his jean pockets. "Hey, Dad," Sam whispered softly.

"Bella, right?" He made his way toward me, his hand extended in a friendly gesture. "John Winchester."

The man behind the myth, he wasn't at all like I pictured. He was intimidating but not in the way I expected. A bit taller than Dean but much shorter than Sam, he stood with his shoulders back and chest out, like he was sizing up an opponent. I laughed to myself at the ridiculous notion. It must have just been the hunter coming out in him.

"That's me." I smiled nervously and took his hand.

Within an instant, he lifted me off my feet, spinning me into his chest. My back was flush with him as he held a silver knife against my neck.

"Dad!" Sam shouted. "What are you doing?"

Dean and Sam both advanced toward their father who tightened his grip on me. I could feel the blade digging into my skin.

Dean narrowed his eyes and flexed his jaw. His voice was low and firm. "Drop the knife."

"And what? Let her go? You know I can't do that, son."

"What are you talking about?" Dean spat, inching closer to the man that held my life in his hands.

I squirmed in his arms, trying to pull his hand away from my neck. He jerked me in his arms in attempt to still me. "She's the one he wants. If we kill her, this ends now. He'll be vulnerable and weak and we can finish him off once and for all." He dug the tip of the knife into my skin, breaking the thin tissue.

I could feel the warm liquid trickle down my neck. Closing my eyes and holding my breath, I prayed I wouldn't pass out. Once the black spots receded from my vision and the wave of nausea passed, I opened my eyes to find Dean breathing heavy and staring down his father.

His fists were balled at his sides, knuckles turning white hot. Bearing his teeth he yelled, "You're not going to kill her."

"I have to, Dean...because you won't."

"Damn right, I won't! What happened, Dad?" Dean closed his eyes and shook his head. "This isn't you. When did you give up everything you stand for, everything we've been fighting for and decide to kill an innocent girl? You wanna kill the demon, fine. But you're not going to do it by killing her. I won't let you." He reached into his jacket and pulled out his pistol, aiming it straight for his father's head.

John laughed to himself, shaking his head slightly. "I knew she had got to you when you left me that message." Dean glared at him, obviously unwilling to revisit the telephone conversation I had eavesdropped on. "Look, if it means anything, I'm sorry. I wish it hadn't come to this. You'll thank me later. If I don't do this now, it will be too late. The demon needs her to carry out the apocalypse. If she's dead, she can't set Lucifer free."

Dean cocked the hammer back with his thumb, still aiming steady. His voice started to break as he begged. "Don't make me choose, Dad."

"Guys, stop!" Sam stood between the two men, putting a hand out to each of them. "Can't we just talk about this?"

"Get out of the way, Sammy," John and Dean both yelled.

Sam turned to face his father, his eyes pleading. "Let Bella go, Dad. We can figure this out together. She doesn't need to die."

"Sit down," John commanded, tiny droplets of saliva spraying the side of my face.

Sam continued to advance toward us. His eyes darkened as his face filled with determination. Another step closer and Sam planted his feet firmly on the ground, pressed his shoulders back as he stood towering over his father.

He flexed his jaw and steeled his eyes as he and got in John's face. "No!"

I felt a growl erupt from John's chest as he squeezed me tighter. "I said sit down."

"Yeah, and I said no!" He flared his nostrils, bearing his teeth.

I tore my eyes away from him and glanced to Dean who was panicked at the exchange. He still had the gun aimed at John, but Sam was too close. If he tried to shoot, he'd most likely hit both of them. The nagging voice that always questioned my self-worth told me he wouldn't shoot either of them. They were his family...I meant nothing. It didn't matter anyway as John's words started to sink in. I would be the one to set the devil free? I was better off dead. I could never live with that kind of guilt.

Sam shook his head, his mouth puckering in disgust. "You know what? You care more about killing this demon than you do about your own son. What do you think killing Bella is going to do to Dean?"

"Nobody's killing Bella," Dean said in a calm, stern voice.

John raised his voice, hot air blowing at my neck. "Do not tell me how I feel. I'm doing this for Dean!"

Sam hollered right back. "How? How is killing someone he l...cares about gonna help him?"

It was like Dean and I weren't even in the room. The only thing tethering me to the present was John's forceful hold around my ribcage. Every time Sam hit a soft spot, he jerked me harder. Dean watched his brother and father duke it out with wide, childlike eyes. The way he stood still, paralyzed with pain, told me it wasn't the first time he had to witness it. A wave of guilt washed over me, imagining how much he was hurting in this moment. He was forced to see the only two people he had in the world fight over something so trivial as my life. A part of me wanted to just kill myself so he wouldn't have to endure anymore.

"You're not thinking about anyone but yourself." Sam stuck his finger right in John's face and continued badger him. "It's the same selfish obsession..."

John leaned us closer to Sam, yelling over his voice. "It's funny. You know what? I thought this was your obsession too. That demon killed your mother...killed your girlfriend. You begged me to be a part of this. You tucked your tail between your legs and came back from Stanford like the prodigal son, so you could get your revenge. Now, all of a sudden because some girl with big brown eyes managed to work her way under your brother's skin, you're ready to give up the fight?"

Dean put the gun away and I leaned my head back, feeling the smooth steel against my neck, accepting and welcoming my fate. I closed my eyes, waiting for the deadly strike. Hopefully it would be swift. With the caliber of hunter John was, I had no doubt he could kill quickly and efficiently.

Squeezing my eyes tighter, I winced, leaning forward into the knife. A strange warmth spread over my body, resonating in my belly and working its way to my chest. Death was peaceful—easy. Living was hard. I was ready to surrender when I heard Dean's voice inches away from my face.

"Mom told me to keep her safe."

I felt John move the knife from my neck and release me from his hold as he shoved me away. Instinctively, I ran for Dean's arms. Without even thinking, he huddled me close to his chest, wrapping me up in the safety of his arms. He turned me away from John and Sam and held my face in his hands. I felt the rough skin against my wet cheeks. I didn't even realize I had started to cry.

"Are you okay?" His eyes were worried as he searched my face. I nodded, another tear rolling down my cheek. He brushed it away with the pad of his thumb. "I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise."

Even though the man had every intention of killing me, I couldn't bring myself to be mad at John. It wasn't exactly the first time someone had tried to kill me. Besides, death and I were no strangers. This man had spent the majority of his life searching for the demon that killed his wife, the same demon that went around feeding babies demon blood, including one of his sons. He had every right to want to kill me. If he couldn't find the demon, why not kill the one thing he wants most? The logic made sense and I couldn't hate him for it. Fate always liked to deal me a crappy hand anyway. I started to wonder if he had found us earlier, would Dean have been so adamant about stopping him from killing me. Whatever the case, John knew more about the yellow-eyed demon's plans than we did, and we needed to find out exactly that.

"You saw your mother?" John's eyes were filled with disbelief, and I could almost feel the pain in his voice.

"Yeah, back at our old house," Sam explained. "She was sent back to warn us about Bella's part in the demon's plan. The last thing she said was to keep Bella safe before she disappeared into a bright white light."

"Ww...white light? What do you mean _someone_ sent her back?" John's frantic sputtering told me this was a bigger deal than I thought. He paced the floor, shaking his head and mumbling to himself. "No, it can't be. This isn't right."

As Sam filled John in on every minute detail of our encounter with Mary, Dean guided me to the edge of the bed and helped me sit down. He rushed off to the bathroom and came back with a washcloth. Sitting down next to me, pressed the cloth against my neck with a little bit of pressure. With his free hand, he brought my hand up to replace his own.

"It's just superficial," he explained, lowering his eyes. "Once the bleeding stops...you'll be okay."

I wanted to thank him for taking care of me. I wanted to throw myself into his arms and feel the safety only he could provide, but he wouldn't meet my eyes. My fingers itched to clutch the soft fabric of his t-shirt, burying my face into his chest as he wrapped me up in the warmth of his arms, his body and leather jacket offering even more protection. Standing up abruptly from the bed, he positioned himself in front of me as a shield. Chest out, rigid back, every hair on his body stood on edge, waiting to see if John decided to try something else.

"You better start talking," Dean said through gritted teeth.

John strained his neck, tilting his head so he could look behind Dean. His hard brown eyes had softened slightly. "I'm sorry about before. Talk about first impressions." He forced an awkward smile, and I averted my eyes. The heavy bags and weathered face showed me how tired he really was, how much this life had taken from him.

"Enough with the small talk." Dean's gruff voice brought us back to the matter at hand. His fingers tapped along the holstered handgun in the waistband of his jeans. "We get it...you're sorry. Now tell us what you know."

John lowered his eyes and started to speak in a low, steady voice. "I don't know everything. I just know that Yellow-Eyes was trying to band some sort of demon army together...and he wanted one of his special children at the helm." He looked up at Sam, remorse filling his eyes. "It was gonna be you, Sammy. But then all of a sudden he changed course." He leaned forward, reaching into his jacket.

"Hold it right there," Dean ordered, quickly aiming his gun at John.

John pulled his jacket open, revealing his own notebook. Dean nodded, giving him the okay to take it out. As he walked over to the bed I was sitting on, I went into panic mode. My shoulders collapsed and I brought my knees to my chest as I transformed myself into a protective ball. I leaned forward into Dean's side, pressing my forehead into him. The rugged material of his button-down combined with his spicy scent kept me grounded. John frowned and placed the notebook down, opened to a specific page. I side-eyed the drawing and saw it was filled with the mechanical handwriting I had become familiar with, followed by a detailed sketch of a two crescent moon intertwined. I slowly unraveled my body as Dean, Sam, and I took a closer look and realized we had all see that before. I lifted up the sleeve to my shirt and placed it side by side to the drawing.

"That's my scar," I gasped. John closed his eyes and nodded solemnly. "But...but...how?"

His eyes snapped open. Apologetic John had vanished, and it was straight to business. "Azazel's killing again. He's leavin' a trail of bodies all leading to you. Only this time, along with the slash across the abdomen, there's another calling card." He grasped my wrist, much more gently this time, but I still flinched at his touch. Dean reached out to stop him, a pained expression washing over John's face as he looked to his son and the mistrust that had filled his eyes. "I'm not going to hurt you..." he smiled sadly at me "...my son will make sure of that."

John let go of my wrist, and I placed it in my lap, protectively covering it. "Yellow-Eyes, Azazel, he...he's not a vampire, right?"

"No," John answered. "How much do you exactly know about vampires?"

I swallowed thickly. "Enough. I know they're not all bad..." I figured Dean's prejudice of vampires came directly from John. I wanted to clear the Cullen name before he even asked.

Dean rolled his eyes, disgust lacing his voice. "She's in love with one of them, Dad." I stole a quick glance and saw him sneering at me.

"Was." I mouthed silently. I quickly looked down afraid to meet his eyes.

Dean softened his voice. "Why don't you explain to her how evil they really are."

John sighed in exasperation as he brought his hands to his eyes and dragged them down his face. It was something I had seen Dean do several times.

He narrowed his eyes before speaking. "Where exactly do you think vampires come from, Bella?"

I bit my lip and looked down at my wrist. "I know you have to be bitten to be turned. But if you're asking me who the first vampire was, who started it all... I don't know. Carlisle is one of the oldest, apart from the Volturi. They're over three thousand years old. Maybe it was one of them?"

"Do you know about Original Sin?" he pressed.

"Yeah..." Who didn't know the whole Adam and Eve and the forbidden fruit story? "Don't tell me this has something to do with that..." I huffed and rolled my eyes "...because I already have a major bone to pick with Eve over the whole painful childbirth thing. And don't get me started on how our 'desire shall be for [our] husband, and he shall rule over [us].' Maybe Eve possessed Virginia Woolf and Betty Friedan to get the feminist movement started. " I snorted at my own joke, and Dean stared at me like I had three heads.

"_Who are you?"_ His lips moved silently, completely taken off guard by my biblical knowledge and literary references. Embarrassed, I felt the heat on my cheeks and looked away. _Edward would have got it,_ I thought before quickly reprimanding myself.

John's lips twisted into a smirk as his eyes lit up. "You're pretty smart, you know that?" My blush deepened as he repeated the same words Dean had said a few weeks ago. "I wouldn't put it past that bitch to do something like that."

"Wait," I said, standing up. "Eve is real?"

"She's not just a bible story, kid. She's very much real and isn't just the mother of the human race. She's the mother of all supernatural beings." John took a seat on the other bed and faced me. "Alright, bible buff, what can you tell me about Cain and Able?"

I furrowed my brows and nervously gnawed on my thumbnail as I tried to remember the things I learned in Sunday School. "Well, Eve had two sons. Cain was the older brother and killed his younger brother Able in a jealous rage."

John put up his finger halting me. "Ah, ah... that's the abridged version. Tell me, Bella, how much _'older'_ was Cain?"

I looked at him puzzled. "Nine months?" I answered, arching an eyebrow.

He let out a quick laugh and continued. "More like nine minutes. They were twins. You know about twinning right?" I shook my head and John took a deep breath. "There have been cases where a woman can become pregnant with twins that come from two separate fathers."

I crinkled my nose. "Ew. I thought that only happened in cats."

"That's what I thought," Dean exclaimed.

"Okay, so if Adam was one of the fathers that would mean..." I gasped once I had figured it out in my head. "That would make..." I thought of all the possibilities. But if Adam was the only man, that would mean God or..." I brought a hand to my mouth as the gears in my brain clicked into place. "Satan was the great deceiver after all. Cain was..."

"Satan's spawn," all three Winchester men answered.

I put my hands out in front of me, hoping to slow down time, and let out a long breath. "Okay, so if Eve is the mother of all evil, she's been really busy."

"Well she's responsible for creating the Alpha monsters." My face was blank as I sat waiting for further explanation. After a few minutes passed and John realized I wasn't following, he continued. "The sources of each line of supernatural beings: Vampires, Werewolves, Rugarus, Shtriga, Wendigos, Skinwalkers, Waives, Ghouls..." My eyes widened as he fired off a list of some things I had never heard of in rapid fire. "You've never heard of any of the others?"

"Well, there were the two ghosts we've encountered, and I always had a feeling Werewolves were real, even before I met any of you. I almost became a Wendigo's midnight snack but..."

John looked up at Dean and Sam. "She really is green, isn't she?" Ashamed, I looked away and started to pick at the pill-balls that had formed on the hem of my sweatshirt. John got off the bed and walked over to me, kneeling in front of me. Recoiling slightly, I inched my way closer to the headboard and further away from him. "Just because you're new at this, doesn't mean you won't be great."

"She's a natural," Dean added.

I smiled shyly and looked down. I may have been a natural, but it had more to do with my special powers and less to do with me being Bella.

Sam walked over to me, sat down, and took my hands in his, forcing me to look at him. I lifted my head a bit, but my eyes remained downcast, knowing what was coming—probably something similar to Edward's 'you don't see yourself clearly' speech.

"Okay, yeah, you've got some freaky vampire juice running through you, but it's not the mind reading or the tracking. It's you."

I shook my head adamantly, disagreeing, but he reached down and grabbed a hold of my chin, tilting my face to look him in the eye. His face was serious but his eyes held the same warmth I felt in his gentle touch. I gasped at the contact. It wasn't the way he tried to assure me that caught me off guard. Sam was always there, smoothing things over whenever something crawled up Dean's butt. It was the way the every fiber of my being wanted me to shy away, not because I was scared, but because he wasn't Dean. I could feel the little invisible threads that had slowly started to mend my heart start to tug and pull open as I tore my eyes away from Sam and stared at Dean as he made his way over to us. He carefully reached out to my face and deliberately pulled Sam's hand off of my chin. His lips were pursed as he tried to maintain his I-don't-give-a-crap face, but his eyes were a blazing bright green as he sent Sam a silent message. Dean remained by my side as he waited for Sam to respond.

Sam gave Dean a quick nod before tucking his hands under his legs and continuing. "Don't sell yourself short, Bella. What makes you good is the way you…" he turned to look at John to make sure he was listening "...purposely put your life in danger to save people you don't even know, your determination to do the right thing no matter the cost, the way you make D..." he looked over to his brother and stopped himself "...the way you make us look at the hunt from the victims' point of view and not just as another battle in a war. Just trust me. You were made for this. The vampire powers are just a bonus."

"Hate to break up the Oprah moment, but can we get back to the Alphas," Dean said in gruff voice.

John stood up, looking at Dean, his mouth twisting into a smirk. '_He's got it bad for her,'_ he thought.

I perked up, sitting taller, as I heard his voice clear as day in my head.

He faced me, his lips firmly pressed together, trying to hide his smile._ 'You heard that, didn't you?'_

I gave him a jerky nod and he continued to have a silent conversation with me. _'Both my boys are a lot like me, mostly because I made them that way. Sure, Dean worships me...' _he subtly adjusted the similar, heavy duty button-down shirts they both wore and I smiled _'...dresses like me, listens to the same music, but he's more like his mother. His heart is in the right place, Bella. Trust that.' _

I sucked my lower lip into my mouth and looked down. It was the second time a Winchester had been vague with me, and I hated feeling left out of the loop. Would it kill them to open up? Looking at the physical and witnessing the emotional resemblance between all of them, I knew there was a better chance of hell freezing over.

John looked away from our awkward silent conversation and continued to explain the Alphas. "So she creates the first one and then they create more...it's kinda like a big snowball effect."

"Do you think one of the Volturi could be the Vampire Alpha?" I asked quietly, starting to chew on my lip.

"Not likely. It's not something we need to worry about just yet." He reached out to put a hand on my shoulder, but before I had a chance to shy away, Dean pulled me into his side, holding me close. He narrowed his eyes at his father, squeezing me tighter as he wordlessly warned his father to stay away from me. John nodded as his lips twitched into an awkward half-smile. "Yellow-Eyes changed his plan to involve vampires, and I need to find out why before we take them on."

Dean pursed his lips together in thought. "Maybe Eve wants her cabana boy freed from jail?" Sam, John, and I, all stared at him, confusion evident. Dean let out a loud sigh. "Eve was screwing around on her husband. Satan...the cabana boy...get it?" Our blank faces still didn't follow his line of reasoning. "Don't you people watch any soap operas?"

"You may be onto something, Dean." Sam went to his backpack, retrieving his father's journal and flipping through the pages. He looked up from the book and added, "Setting Lucifer free starts the apocalypse, right? And that's what Yellow-Eyes wants. From what we know about Eve, she's a control freak. What if she wanted one of her children, instead of a demon to set him free?"

"So what? Eve put on a strap-on, rode Yellow Eyes into submission, and now he wants Bella to make the bitch happy?" Dean asked, before getting lost in his own little world and humming a familiar tune.

I gave Dean a questioning look and he continued, adding a whiny voice to the song. "Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you."

I laughed a little, shaking my head and added, "No you can't."

Dean's smile widened. "Yes, I can."

How he even knew that show tune was beyond me. I put the fun and games aside, letting the information sink in, and shot up from the bed.

Sam looked up from the journal and watched me carefully. His thoughtful stare took away the lightness of the moment, and I suddenly felt a huge weight on my shoulders. Whatever bombshell he was about to drop had something to do with me.

I put a hand up, urging Sam to stop."Whoa." I closed my eyes, pausing for a minute. "I'm not one of her children...I mean yeah, I guess we're all her children in the biblical sense, but as far as the whole supernatural monster thing...no way!"

Sam grabbed my arm from mid-air, turning my wrist over so my scar was on full display. "It makes sense, Bella. You were going to be turned," Sam argued.

I stared at him incredulously before snatching my arm away. "Yeah, but Edward stopped it from happening."

"Maybe it's just happening slower than expected."

My eyes widened in shock at his implications. "Ww...what? No...no, it's not happening. It's been over six months." I looked to Dean but he quickly ducked his head averting his gaze. "John?" I searched his face for answers. "Tell them I'm not going to become a vampire..."

The panic that spread throughout my body, causing my heart to beat faster and the blood to rush to my head caught me off guard. I could feel the walls of the motel room closing in on me. Putting a hand on the wall to steady myself, I took a few calming breaths. Something I had wanted for so long suddenly terrified me.

"Bella's right, boys. She would have changed already." He looked at me, frowning slightly. "But her blood is impure now. I assume that's exactly the kind of thing Eve wants. She wants to prove God was wrong for casting them out of the Garden of Eden. She wants God to see what his precious humans are really capable of. That his children are no better than hers."

"But why me? I'm not the only human that's been bitten by a vampire."

"No, probably not," Dean said with a smug shrug. He tightened his eyes and lowered his voice. "But if you had your choice, you would have wanted to become one, right?" The apparent disgust caused my heart to clench.

The hurt worked its way from my heart and into my eyes as they threatened to spill tears. "I...I th...thought...bbbut...I don't..." Between my heavy breathing to bite back the pain and my ridiculous stuttering, it was a wonder anyone could understand me.

Sam's calm voice saved me from hyperventilating. "God's real big on choices, Bella. Free will...it's what makes us human. The fact that someone would willingly choose to become something evil..." The pain strangled my heart once again as I winced at Sam's words. Ever the perceptive one, he quickly back tracked, trying to comfort me. "Something unnatural...it stands to reason that you would be easily swayed."

Slowly, I backed up toward the bed and let myself fall when the edge hit my legs. "Swayed as in going all darkside and letting Lucifer out..." My shoulders slumped forward and I held my face in my hands, feeling incredibly sorry for myself.

John crossed the floor and made his way to Dean, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. Dean stood tall, shoulders back, eyes forward but not making contact, awaiting orders. I could tell he was still upset with how his father had handled things, but he would still be obedient.

"You keep her safe, son. She's important." He started to walk toward the door and Dean's face fell slightly. Was he waiting for something more?

_'I know she is,'_ Dean thought. He gave him a curt nod and replied, "Yes, sir."

Sam rushed over to his father. "Wait. Where are you going?"

"If I'm right about who brought your mother back to warn you, I need to speak to Bobby."

"Bobby?" Dean reared back in surprise. "Dad, didn't he threaten to blast you full of buckshot? Cocked the shot gun and everything."

Smiling and tilting his head to the side, laughing under his breath. "Well, I do have that effect on people. But this is bigger than any ego. If the angels brought her back, they're playing a part in this too."

"Angels?" we all asked at the same time. _This just kept getting better and better._

John didn't answer. He placed his hand on the doorknob and turned it, opening the door. "I'll be in touch."

As he walked through the door without even uttering a simple goodbye, I realized I was no closer in deciphering the enigma that was John Winchester. What I did know was I had three Winchesters that wanted to keep me safe and keep me from bringing about the apocalypse. Knowing the Winchester track record and seeing first-hand how many times Dean had saved my life in the short time I had known him, I was okay with those odds.

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E/N – So there you have it. Bella's part in the apocalypse. I know some of you were expecting a big reveal, and I hope I didn't disappoint. It may not have been quite what you were expecting, but I promise, just because she's not some big powerful demon doesn't mean you're not in for one hell of a ride. I've still got lots of exciting things coming up.

Reviews are better than Papa Winchester's scruff. You know the drill. See you soon!


	11. Comfortably Numb

A/N – So wow, Big Papa sorta left us reeling with his attack on Bella, not to mention the giant elephant in the room. We now know more about Bella's part in the apocalypse. Here's the aftermath. Watch out...it's a little USTY. Big snuggle hugs to Team Bean. They make this story better and talk me down from ledges when I'm ready to throw in the towel and build up my confidence. This story continues because of their never ending support and the support I get from you guys. Thank you all so much.

***Special Thanks*** goes out to a reader named Jodie, Gottaloveva, and Miss Snazzy for looking out for my best interest in regards to an author that took one of my ideas and tried to pass it off as their own. It has since been remedied thanks to you.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Supernatural. I only borrow the characters and setting. All ideas and plot in this story are original.**

This chapter is brought to you by The Fray's song, _Heaven Forbid_. Visuals for the chapter can be found on my profile. Picsperation can be found on my profile.

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**Chapter 11 – Comfortably Numb**

The three of us stood in silence as the door closed behind John. Sam shot his brother a concerned look, but Dean remained unwavering, staring at the door, lips pursed and eyes tight in an impenetrable mask.

_'If he comes near her again, I'll kill him. This was not what I signed up for. Hell, who am I kidding? I never had a choice...but at least we were saving people. How am I supposed to keep her safe when the man I trusted with my life wants her dead? Dammit! This was so much easier before...before she opened my eyes.' _

I watched as his hands ball into fists at his sides. _'All that crap he dumped on me about protecting Sam...that was his crap. He's the one that couldn't protect his family. He's the one that let Mom die.'_

His lips curled around his teeth in fierce snarl. _'He wasn't there for Sam. I always was! He wasn't fair. I didn't deserve what he put on me...'_

The clear voice I heard in my mind started to fade out as his thoughts focused on his father, and all I could feel was his pain; it was visceral and went deep into my bones. I moved in his direction, conscious of every step as my heart picked up and the steady thrum of pumping blood filled my ears. It felt like cinder blocks were tied around my ankles, keeping me in place, but I forced myself to move. I didn't know what I could say or do, but he had saved me so many times, I owed it to him to at least try. Standing inches from him, I moved my head side to side, trying to engage him and make eye contact, but his eyes were trained on the door and they were unrelenting.

"Dean?" It came out as barely a whisper. "Dean, look at me. Please," I begged.

I couldn't help but feel responsible for all this. He pulled a gun on his own father...for me. The way Sam stood up to John, I could tell their relationship was strained. Dean was the good son, never questioning, never doubting. He looked up the guy so much he wanted to be just like him. Now everything had gone to hell...because of me. How would they come back from that?

"Dean!" Sam called, trying to draw his attention.

It was like he checked out. He just kept staring at that stupid door, waiting for his father to stroll back in. I leaned my head forward, resting it against his forehead, and closed my eyes, silently praying for him to snap out of it.

I felt his warmth radiate around me as our foreheads met. Every time we had physical contact, a thrill worked its way through my body, residing deep in my belly. There was always something bigger than myself that drew me to him, whether it was the mutual heartbreak we felt or the normal progression of getting to know someone and empathizing with their pain. Regardless, I was pulled to him and I finally gave in to the need to be near him, to comfort him like he had done for me so many times before. I pushed into him slightly, our noses grazing one another.

"I'm sorry," I breathed.

He pushed back into me, letting out a long breath. Still remaining close, I inhaled deeply, taking in the same air and holding it in my chest as I slowly pulled away. I narrowed my eyes, inspecting his face and making sure he was back in the present. His eyes finally met mine and the anguish residing there hurt my insides, causing me to suck my lower lip into my mouth. I brought my hand to his face, the palm of my hand cupping his strong jaw as my thumb stroked his cheek. My skin prickled from the stubble on his face and the intimacy of the moment.

"I'm sorry," I whispered again.

"Don't," he snapped in a stern voice, jerking his neck and moving away from me, the tingling sensation disappearing with his absence. "Don't you apologize. This is not your fault." He scowled and shook his head. "This is all on him, the bastard."

I opened my mouth to speak but he pushed past me and stalked toward the door. Sam grabbed him by the shoulder, stopping him.

"Dean, wait. Where are you going?" Sam asked, worried.

He turned to face me, offering me an apologetic look and rubbing the back of his neck before answering. "I gotta get outta here."

After Dean left, I found myself sitting on the bed, pushed up against the headboard with my arms wrapped around my knees. It wasn't like he rejected me...he wasn't even here, so why did I feel the need to protect myself? A deep ache festered in my gut, and I couldn't put my finger on it. Sam walked over to me and sat down on the edge of the bed. I lifted my head slightly and he gave me a sad smile.

"It'll be okay, Bella. He'll be fine."

It hit me like a flash of bright light from a light house, illuminating the dark and dangerous areas of my soul, the parts I was afraid to accept. Without realizing it, Dean had somehow managed to work himself into a piece of my heart that I thought died with Edward's departure. I was hurting because Dean was hurting.

I unwound my body and pushed my shoulders back, taking a defensive stance, feeling the hard wood press into my back. "Sam...I don't...I..."

He scooted closer to me and the corner of his eyes crinkled as a smile tugged at his lips. "Bella, you don't have to hide it from me. I know you care about him. It's not a bad thing." He pursed his lips and nodded his head knowingly. "It's good...for both of you."

I shook my head, determined to prove him wrong. I wanted to believe that Dean was just an obnoxious, pushy, close-minded, bullheaded ass. Of course I knew there was another side to him, one I saw when he held me close or protected me with such a fierceness even his father was afraid, but I wasn't ready to acknowledge the implications of his actions. I didn't want to think about the emotions that may or may not be behind them. I was okay with the strange dance we were engaged in. I wasn't prepared to deal with anything more than I already was. I had only just started to dig myself out from under Edward's grasp, his gravity that held me down until I lost myself. As Sam tried to make me see, I felt a stifling fear creep up my spine and catch in my throat. I couldn't let myself fall into that trap again.

"Look, I'm not saying you love him. Hell, you don't even have to like him...but you care about what happens to him. Dean needs that. He puts everyone before himself." Sam's eyes saddened, guilt shining through. "He doesn't think he deserves...to be happy. I mean really happy, not just this pretend, 'I love fighting demons' crap. Maybe you can finally get through to him."

I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "I don't know what you think I can do. We're both pretty messed up, Sam."

Sam let out a small laugh. "Bella, our father has some issues..."

I rolled my eyes, cracking a small smile. "Gee, I hardly noticed." Sarcasm dripped from my voice.

"He really did a number on us, Dean especially. He put a lot of responsibility on him...stuff no kid should have to deal with. Dad left quite a bit to go on hunts, and he put Dean in charge. He drummed it into Dean's head that he needed to take care of me no matter what. He always put a brave face on for me, you know?" He smiled sadly, his eyes getting slightly damp. He yawned trying to pass off the tears as nothing.

I nodded, feeling more for that little boy with the freckles in the picture than I ever could have imagined. It was no secret, Dean's need to protect his brother. Actually, it was one of the first redeeming qualities I noticed. I figured protecting people was just a part of who he was. It wasn't until Sam continued, I realized it was more than just protecting people...it was protecting the people he cared about that mattered most to him. The few hunts we had been on, he was more concerned about killing the nasty than taking care of the victims. Now, somehow I was lumped into that category, and my mind spun with the possibilities.

"I think that's where it started...the blind faith he put in that man. We never knew where he was going or if he was even alive. He built him up like a goddamn hero, a five-star general in the war against evil. Dean was a good soldier and followed orders, even if he didn't realize how selfish Dad's justification really was."

Sam shifted uncomfortably next to me. "I get it, though. I mean he couldn't afford to be scared with a whiny brat like me to take care of." He smiled, laughing under his breath. "It was probably the only way he could survive. I don't know what would have happened if he had surrendered to the terror of Dad leaving, knowing that he may never come back. Dean had to trust that Dad always knew best, that he'd always come back. What other choice did he have?"

Sam let out a long sigh. "I think Dean turns a blind eye to a lot of things our father has done over the years. This whole war against evil is just a personal vendetta for him. We wouldn't even know about all the stuff that goes bump in the night if it weren't for his personal crusade of finding what killed our mother. I get it. God knows I get it. The same thing killed my girlfriend. Of course I want justice...but not at the expense of losing my family."

I looked down, feeling ashamed at my own sense of family and how easy it was for me to give it all up for Edward. John and I were sort of the same in that regard, and it made me sick. He didn't care who he hurt as long as he got what he wanted. I felt awful for what I almost put my parents through. Even if the brothers lead me to the Cullens, I didn't know if I'd be able to go through with my original plan.

Reaching out a hand, Sam brushed my cheek with his knuckles, but quickly tore it away like I was a piece of hot metal. I knew it was only meant as a friendly gesture, but I felt an odd sense of relief when he pulled away. When I looked up, Sam quickly averted his eyes.

"I guess that's why he's taking this so hard," he said sadly. "The guy you met tonight, there's a lot of my dad in there, but there's a lot that's so different. It's like the closer he gets to finally finding Yellow Eyes, the more unhinged he becomes. The minute Dad tried to hurt you..." his eyes snapped up and met mine "...it finally clicked for Dean. He knew Dad was wrong. It was like he was finally knocked off that pedestal Dean placed him on. We're supposed to be the good guys, save people because it's the right thing to do. Dean would never let him hurt an innocent person, especially not you."

I swallowed back the lump that had formed in my throat. "I am so sorry, Sam."

"I'm sorry too," he said softly.

My brows knit together in confusion. "For what?"

"I let Dean down. I left... I needed something more than this, and I think Dean felt like it was his fault because he couldn't give me what I wanted. The most important thing Dad drilled into Dean was to take care of me. I left and pretty much made that impossible. He's dedicated his whole life to hunting, to keeping me safe, and when I walked away...it was like throwing it in his face, telling him he wasn't good enough." Sam shook his head in disgust. "He gave everything up for us, and we just abandoned him. I left for Stanford and Dad left to go kill the demon on his own."

"You're allowed to have your own life, Sam. Maybe this life isn't for you..." It even sounded as funny coming out of my mouth as it did in my head. The way Sam and Dean worked in tandem, the brains and gumption...their partnership was flawless. I couldn't imagine Dean doing this without Sam.

"Don't be silly. We were born for this..." he raised an eyebrow at me "...and apparently so were you."

I looked down, blushing. Despite the nagging feeling of wanting to be needed, I still couldn't take a compliment to save myself.

Sam pushed his hands down on his thighs and got up from the bed, moving to stand in front of me. "I know Dean can be an ass, but just promise me something, Bella. Don't let him think he doesn't matter. I made that mistake once."

A few hours later, a loud scratching noise woke both Sam and me. I sat up in bed while Sam methodically reached under his pillow and pulled out his handgun, trying quietly to move the slide back to cock it. The scratching turned to a steady jingling and Sam stealthily got out of bed with the gun aimed at the door. I clutched the covers to my chest as Sam slowly opened the door. Dean stumbled into the room, barely able to stand up.

"Hiya, Sammy." He threw an arm around Sam, his dead weight dragging him down. They took a few steps, crashing into an end table and bumping into the television stand. Dean raised an eyebrow and looked at me through one eye, his lips turning up into a mischievous smile. "Sweetheart..."

I watched as Dean started to sway in Sam's arms as he moved them across the room, carefully trying to avoid any other furniture. "What'd you do, man? Drink the whole bar?"

Dean let out a loud belch, his eyes rolling back in his head. His face suddenly went pale as he swallowed back a burp.

"Oh my God, Sam. He's gonna throw up."

He rushed Dean to the bathroom before it was too late, and I followed closely behind. I had seen bathroom stalls in the mall that were bigger than this bathroom. The doorway was narrow and had swinging doors that resembled that of a saloon from an old Western movie. There was a small sink a mere inches away from the toilet, and a stand up shower directly across, leaving hardly any room for one person, let alone three. Sam managed to wedge his tall frame, and his brother's solid one, into the tiny space. He winced as he crouched and maneuvered his body in an odd position to help Dean kneel down in front of the toilet. Sam's back was almost pushed into the far wall of the shower as Dean sprawled across the tile floor, hugging the toilet and heaving. Sam closed his tired eyes as he leaned his against the shower stall, a sigh of relief coming from him as the cold porcelain wall cooled his skin. He hadn't been sleeping much, maybe four hours a night in the past two days. From experience, my guess was he was afraid to sleep for too long because of his nightmares. His last one brought us to his childhood home where their mother was brutally murdered by a demon. Who knew were the next would take us?

The room was cramped and I felt bad for Sam as he tried to hide his own discomfort, pushing past his physical and mental exhaustion as he watched over Dean. I stood in the doorway, leaning against one of the swinging wood shutters. The sound of Dean's groans as the contents of his stomach spilled into the toilet bowl caused my own insides to quiver.

Sam turned to me frowning, his eyes filled with worry. "I've never seen him this drunk before. He never pukes. He'll usually just drink himself into a coma and wake up the next morning with a pounding headache. "

My mouth twisted to the side. "Maybe he's sick on top of being drunk?"

Sam sighed, rubbing the heels of his hands against his eyes, trying to stay awake. "Maybe." His voice was too tired to indicate whether or not he really believed that.

"Why don't you go get some rest. I can keep an eye on Dean." I eyed the tiny space and smiled at him. "Besides, I'll probably be a little more comfortable in there anyway."

He gave me an appreciative smile as he walked past me. Turning around mid-stride, he said, "Thanks."

I watched Sam walk over to his bed and make himself comfortable. Pushing through the doors, I slowly crept into the bathroom. Dean had just finished a violent bout of vomiting, so I crouched to his side and put a hand on his upper back, trying to still him as his body clenched and convulsed. He brought the back of his hand to his face to wipe his mouth.

"How you holding up?"

"Ugh..." His inability to answer and the heat radiating from his back worried me. He slowly turned to face me, beads of sweat lining his brow. His color had returned slightly, but he was flushed and feverish. I started to think maybe something was really wrong.

I quickly stood up and grabbed a washcloth from the wire shelf hanging next to the sink. I turned the water on and let it get as cold as possible before running the cloth under it. Sitting down next to him, squeezing between his muscular thighs and the base of the toilet, I placed the damp washcloth on his forehead.

He tilted his head, looking at me. "Bella." He breathed out my name, humming in approval.

"Feeling better?" I moved to pull my hand away, but he reached up and held my hand in place, his eyes clear and no longer drunk hazy. "Sam said you never get sick. Did something else happen?"

"Yeah." Dean chuckled darkly. "I got into a fight with Jack."

"Jack? Is he...is he a demon?" I continued to pat the washcloth along his forehead, up and down his neck.

Dean made a move to stand up. Still a little shaky on his feet, I guided him toward the sink so he hand something to lean against.

He looked into the small mirror, watching my face in the reflection as his lips twisted into a smirk. "Oh yeah, he's a ddd...demon alright. Went dd...down real easy..." My eyes widened as he started to tell me about the battle. "It's when he comes back up that..." his eyes darted to the toilet and then back to the mirror "...proves to be more d...difficult."

I came around to his side and pulled on his arm, turning him to face me so I could make sense of his words. "What are you talking about?"

"My man Jack Daniels." He wagged his eyes brows at me. "That sweet..." eyes lingering on my mouth, he licked his lips "...smokey amber nectar of the gods."

I huffed, narrowing my eyes at him. "So you're not sick," I seethed. "This...this is all because you had too much to drink?" Whatever sympathy or worry I had for him flew out the window. Thank God Sam was sleeping. He would have been furious at him. "How much did you actually have to drink? You know what? Don't answer that." I pushed past him and made my way to the door. "I don't even care. You're pathetic. We have bigger things to worry about than your drunk ass."

Dean whipped around so fast, faster than anyone nursing a hangover should be able to, and grabbed my wrist in his hand as I walked by. He spun me around and pushed me into the wall, his body pressing against mine as he looked down at me.

"Pathetic, huh?" His eyes darkened as a smirk worked its way onto his lips.

I tried to tear myself away from him but he pushed into me harder. Straining my neck, I was able to move my face away from his piercing gaze. I could easily scream for Sam and he'd come to my rescue. I really hoped it wouldn't come down to that. "You're drunk, Dean. Let me go."

"That's the thing, sweetheart. I drank so much I damn near gave myself alcohol poisoning, but I can still feel." He brushed his knuckles against my cheek, bringing me back to face him, and instead of shying away like I had with Sam, I leaned into his hand, savoring the feeling. "How I feel...this emptiness inside me, fighting some war I'm not sure I even believe in anymore... " His warm breath washed over my neck, causing the tiny hairs to stand on end. His voice started to break, and I turned back to see a few tears roll down his cheek. "I wish I couldn't feel anything, Bella. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing."

He dropped my wrist that he had pinned against the wall and roughly pushed himself off of me. One more smoldering stare and he left me in the bathroom, alone, gathering my thoughts. I couldn't even begin to piece things together. With the hope of a shower washing away some of the intensity, I started the water. Even after the shower, my shoulders were still heavy with the burden of what Dean had said. That wasn't him; he wasn't supposed to be so...broken. Securely fastening a towel around my body, I tip-toed into the bedroom. Sam was sound asleep and Dean looked like he had passed out the minute he hit the bed. His dark brown logging boots were on his feet, still tied. I changed into an oversized white t-shirt and a pair of gray shorts and made my way over to the bed. I leaned over the foot of the bed and started to untie his boots. They fell to the floor with a loud thud, but luckily neither he nor Sam woke up. Dean just shifted his weight, settling deeper into the mattress, and let out a sleepy groan. I pulled down the blankets, even managing to slip them underneath Dean, and crawled into the bed. Tossing and turning, I tried to make myself comfortable. I fluffed the pillow, flipping it over a few times, and huffed as my head hit it. I just couldn't find any peace. I rolled on my side, propping my head up on my elbow, watching the steady rise and fall of Dean's chest. My body seemed to move on its own volition, inching closer and closer to Dean's sleeping form. Sucking in a sharp breath, I carefully eyed the crook of his neck. Slowly, I lowered my body, resting my head on his hard chest. Dean let out a content sigh, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me into him tightly. The beat of his heart and the warmth of his body lulled me to sleep.

~o~

"Was it Dad?" Sam asked as Dean snapped his phone shut in frustration. He widened his eyes in anticipation. "Did he find him?"

"No, it was Bobby." Dean frowned, shaking his head.

I knew he was having a hard time with the aftermath of John's silent departure, even if he didn't want to admit it. From what Sam had told me, Dean always followed his father's orders. With the nasty things John fought on a daily basis, it was easy to see how Dean had built him up to be some kind of hero. But now, after being consumed by hate and vengeance for so long, it was clear he had lost his way. It was like he didn't even care about his own kids. He'd do anything, hurt anyone, to kill that damn yellow-eyed demon. Dean even called him on it. The fact that Dean directly disobeyed, choosing my safety over his own created an even bigger rift in their father son relationship.

Sam walked over to Dean, panic working its way to his face. "Is he...is he okay?"

"Yeah," Dean grumbled, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. "Bobby's got a case for us to work."

"What about Dad?"

Dean gathered his clothes, haphazardly throwing them in his bag, and looked up at Sam. "What about Dad, Sammy?" he snapped. "He could be half across the country for all I care. If he thinks he can do this on his own...let him." He threw the duffel bag over his shoulder and stalked toward the door. "I'll be in the car."

I glanced at Sam as he shook his head and started to pack his own things away. "You sure he's going to be okay?"

He paused, a thoughtful expression on his face as he quietly processed his emotions. What I wouldn't give to be able to read his mind, and it wasn't for lack of trying.

"Yeah," he finally answered, a smile that didn't quite meet his eyes working its way onto his lips. "We'll work the case and he'll be back to himself in no time."

I followed Sam out to the car. Dean was already behind the wheel, fishing through cassette tapes. He had finally made his choice when the familiar harmonized voices started to sing, "Carry on, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don't you cry no more."

Sam held the trunk open for me as I placed my own bag down next to his, their arsenal hidden underneath. The delicate piano notes filtered through the speakers as the song continued. My mouth twisted into a smile, listening to the words and realizing how very Dean this song actually was.

Laughing as he shut the trunk, Sam turned to face me. "Fitting isn't it?"

Smiling wider, I nodded and hopped into the backseat.

Sam settled into the passenger seat and Dean took off. Once we found the freeway, Sam finally asked what had been on my mind since Dean took the call.

"So where's Bobby sending us?"

"Bellevue-Stratford hotel in Philadelphia," Dean answered flatly.

"The city of brotherly love," I mused, barely audible.

Dean's eyes found mine in the rear view mirror. "Except there's not much love going on, sweetheart. Thirty-four deaths in the past two weeks."

Sam sucked in a sharp breath, his analytical mind already thinking of possibilities. "What kind of deaths are we talking here? Mass-murder, illness..."

"Suicide."

I looked down, feeling guilty. After Edward left, I had thought about it but I could never really go through with it. Maybe it was cowardice or maybe it was the delusion that he'd come back for me that kept me alive. Even after spending several weeks with the Winchesters, I still wasn't any closer to finding a lead on Edward or the Cullens' location. The weight of never seeing him again wasn't as heavy a burden as it once was. I was slowly starting to let go, and it only made me think maybe it was really the self-preservation Edward had said I lacked that was starting to work its way to the surface. Maybe I never did it because deep down inside, I wanted to live.

"That's not uncommon," I piped up in a small voice. "Actually, it's the perfect place when you think about it. You're isolated, no interruptions. You don't have to worry about a family member finding you or walking in on you while you're doing it."

Dean eyes tightened in the mirror as his gazed pierced me, causing my heart to constrict. "Morbid much? Something you've given a lot of thought to, sweetheart?"

"Not anymore," I mumbled, lowering my eyes again.

Sam let out a forced cough, tearing Dean's eyes away from the mirror. "Bella's right. Take a look at Las Vegas, for instance. They're known for having the most suicides in a year. Something like twenty-seven percent of hotel visits end in suicide. Why does Bobby think this is a case for us?"

"Because it's not the first time it's happened. Thirty-four people died in 1976."

"You don't think it's just a coincidence?"

Who was I kidding? Of course it wasn't a coincidence, but something about haunted hotels just seemed incredibly cheesy to me. There was a whole show dedicated to it on the Syfy channel. A guilty pleasure, I had been sucked into a few episodes here and there. After witnessing real-life ghosts, that show couldn't have been more of a joke.

Both Sam and Dean turned around, giving me a skeptical look. That signature Dean Winchester cocky smile found its way onto his face as he raised an eyebrow at me. "When has anything we've encountered just been a coincidence?" I let out a breath, rolling my eyes. "Look on the bright side, sweetheart, no seedy motel. You can probably even get your own room."

I quickly turned away and looked out the window, hopefully hiding my disappointment. I'd have to think of a way to weasel my way into Dean's room. It wasn't that I was afraid of being alone. I was afraid of being without him, and that scared me more than any haunted hotel ever could.

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E/N – *fans self* I'm still a little hot and bothered from that bathroom scene. Poor Dean has so much going on. Doesn't he know all he's got to do is open up and Bella will make it all better? How do you think Bella is going to worm her way into Dean's hotel room?** I also dropped a huge hint as to how her mind-reading works. Indulge me with your theories!**

Reviews are better than being pinned against the wall by Dean...nah, who am I kidding? But I'd still love to hear from you. You know the drill.


	12. Pretty Woman

A/N – General consensus was the bathroom scene was hot, minus that fact Dean had just been puking. If you were waiting for a kiss, it wasn't going to be then. Lol That moment was more about the UST in their warring emotions than anything actual physical. It was a turning point, that's for sure.

My undying gratitude goes to my Team Bean girls...and I want to include you guys to. You're all members of Team Bean because you keep coming back and are as invested in Bella and Dean's relationship as I am, so thank you!

Disclaimer: I own nothing...except my naughty little fantasies.

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This chapter is brought to you by Temper Trap's, _Sweet Disposition_. Visuals are up on my profile.

_'A moment of love, a dream, a laugh, a kiss, a cry, our rights, our wrongs...We won't stop 'til it's over, won't stop to surrender.'_

**Chapter 12 – Pretty Woman**

We circled the block for a third time, and I continued to stare at the large, overwhelming building. It certainly was impressive with at least twenty stories. A very indulgent style and architecture resembled something out of the French Renaissance. Somewhat out of place next to the generic skyscrapers of the city, it looked like it belonged in Versailles instead of Philadelphia. The way gold light illuminated from every window, and the domed roof with several inviting patios under the archways almost made me forget my fear of heights. On the fourth pass, Sam finally spoke up.

"Dean, you're gonna have to park in the garage."

"No way, Sammy. Eighty percent of hit and runs occur in parking garages. You don't even want to know how many cars are stolen in a year..."

I couldn't contain my laughter as Sam and Dean continued to argue about parking his precious "baby" in the hotel underground parking garage.

Dean spun around, glaring at me. "Something funny, sweetheart."

"It's just a car..."

Sam sucked in a sharp breath and covered his mouth, wide eyes staring at me from the rear view mirror.

Dean accelerated toward the parking garage, purposely weaving in and out of traffic to show the car's prowess. He slammed on the breaks as he got to the gate and took a card from the attendant. The car stopped on a dime, and the way he handled it with confidence and finesse was nothing short of sexy. I had always had a soft spot for nice cars, mainly from Charlie and all the classic car shows he dragged me to over the years. I knew the Impala was more than just a car, and seeing Dean behind the wheel only made it better. The truth was I didn't mind seeing Dean worked up, and it was nice to be surrounded by an American classic. Fancy cars like the ones the Cullens had, from Emmett's supped up Hummer to Alice's canary yellow Porche, didn't do anything for me. There was something about the blood, sweat, and tears involved in manufacturing something as beautiful as the Impala. After seeing the Cullens throw their money into brand new cars that were probably made by a robot instead of a person, it just took away the luster. As gorgeous and expensive a car like an Aston Martin Vanquish was, it could always be replaced by a newer, flashier model. They didn't make cars like Dean's anymore, and not only did that make it special...it made it irreplaceable.

My mind quickly wandered to Dean's vivid fantasy of him and me on the hood of the car and then the way he took me in the backseat. I could feel the heat creep up my chest and inflame my cheeks, so I quickly turned to look outside the window. It only reminded me of the way his hand pressed firmly against it, giving him the leverage he needed so he could thrust deeper inside me. The throbbing between my legs was too much to bear as I shifted uncomfortable in the seat.

Suddenly, I was in a different world, a world where I was confident and in control. I had Dean on his back in the front seat of the Impala, fully reclined. My butt had pressed into the steering wheel causing the horn to blare in protest as I straddled him. I started giggling and Dean smirked at me; it was so real I could feel tiny bubbles of laughter working their way through my chest. Dean leaned up to kiss the smile off my face. Alternating between rough and slow, he stole several kisses before I pushed him back down, a steady hand on his muscular chest. With my left hand, I worked at his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. I let out a whimper as he lifted his hips a bit and pushed himself into me, feeling his hardness against my palm.

"Bella?" Sam called from what seemed like miles away.

"You alright, sweetheart?" Dean said with a chuckle that mirrored the playful moment we had just shared in my mind.

"Wh...wha?" I shook my head hoping for some clarity. Was that all me? The glint in Dean's eyes told me that he may have had his own dirty thoughts, but I couldn't be sure. Between my furious blushing, my uncomfortable shifting in the backseat, and the possibility that I let out a clear, audible moan, Dean was definitely onto me.

"You look a bit..." he raised an eyebrow at me, a cocky smile plastered on his face "...flustered."

He threw the car into park, making sure he was in a secure corner of the garage and away from any other cars that might ding the Impala by accident. They both got out of the car, leaving me a brief moment to compose myself. I could tell it was going to be a long night. With our bags slung over our shoulders, we walked toward the elevator, Dean casting one last longing look at his car before pressing the button. A chiming of welcoming bells signaled us to enter the elevator. Mirrored walls with ornate gold details surrounded us. Even the buttons were plated in gold. Dean pursed his lips, smoothing down his eye brows with his fingers and admiring himself. Sam and I exchanged similar eye rolls as we waited the ascent to the lobby. I kept my eyes down, uncomfortable with seeing my reflection from every angle possible.

The doors suddenly opened and my breath caught in my throat. It was gorgeous. Every inch of the lobby was covered in marble, from the tile floor to the large columns in every corner. Bright green garland with holly berries wrapped around the pillars, adding to the holiday ambiance. Deep mahogany and gold were used to accent the scalloped ceiling. I did a slow spin, taking it all in and feeling like my own version of Cinderella, we made our way to the check-in area.

"You've gotta have more than that available." Dean's gruff voice to the concierge snapped me out of my Disney princess moment.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Simmons, but the holidays are our busiest time of year. With all the festivities and the benefit for Legionnaires' Disease tomorrow, everything is pretty much booked. I have a single and the Honeymoon Suite."

Dean looked to Sam and then looked to me and let out an exasperated huff. I turned to Sam with the hope of hiding my disappointment from Dean. I had no doubt in my mind I'd be in the single room, but then Dean's thoughts flitted through my mind.

_'The Honeymoon Suite with her, or sharing a bed with Sam, or..." his lips curled around his teeth "...Sam and her...' _

He quickly recovered, masking his agitation with a knowing smile. "Festivities...that's an interesting way of putting it. Don't you mean suicides?"

The concierge nervously shuffled papers on the desk. "No...well, yes there have been suicides recently, and it's quite unfortunate." He lowered his eyes, looking truly troubled by the conversation. "I should have been more specific. I was talking about the American Legion convention. Two weeks every year they book the hotel so members from different posts all over the country can get together. It all ends with the benefit tomorrow night."

Sam pulled Dean aside and I followed. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"That I really don't want to be kept up all night with your loud Sasquatch snoring in my ear?"

Sam let out a sigh and did a quick head roll. "No. Maybe these suicides have something to do with the convention. You said the suicides took place over the last two weeks, right?"

The concierge expectantly looked over to us and Sam turned around, forcing a smile, and then continued our conversation. He ducked his head a bit, shielding himself from the man so intent on booking our rooms, and lowered his voice. "The first thing we need to do is get into that benefit tomorrow night."

Sam went over to the desk a slapped down a credit card. "We'll take those two rooms. Thanks."

I stood next to Dean, nervously gnawing on a thumb nail, waiting for Sam to come back and give me my room key. He handed Dean a plastic card with a large gold 'B' dangling from a chain that was attached to it. Anxiously, I placed my hand out, palm down, expecting a key of my own.

"We're on the same floor," he explained before starting toward the elevators.

Chancing a glance at Dean, I looked at him from my periphery and caught him taking in an awkward gulp of air. My eyes lingered on the way his Adam's apple bobbed up and down. I started to chew on my bottom lip as he shoved the key into his pocket and followed after Sam.

All three of us entered the elevator. For something so state-of-the-art, it took an awful long time to get to the sixteenth floor. Maybe it was just my subconscious slowing time down. The air was heavy with our silence, and I could stop thinking about being in the Honeymoon Suite with Dean―alone.

A vision of me in a white sundress with a princess waist and modest neckline popped into Dean's head. Clearly it was supposed to be me, but it didn't look like me at all. Was that how he really saw me? My skin was too soft, too pure without any blotches or blemishes. My eyes were a little too wide, a little too innocent. As if the dress didn't make me look young enough, the dainty yellow flowers embroidered on it and the saddle shoes I wore made me look like an idealized virginal version of myself. The image of me in Dean's mind went against everything I knew about him. He was quick to make a dirty joke and his mind was almost always in the gutter. It was like he purposely found perversion in even the most mundane things. I couldn't reconcile his vivid fantasies of me, and now my own, with the pristine picture of the wide-eyed, innocent girl in his head.

_'I don't think I can trust myself with her.'_

I swallowed thickly, hearing Dean's thoughts. I had my own doubts. If my little daydream from earlier in the car was any indication of what was going on inside of me, I didn't know if I could trust myself either. Apparently, Sam had enough trust for the both of us, because he single-highhandedly sealed our fate by taking the single room for himself.

The elevator doors finally opened and Sam walked out first. "I'm in 1612, and you guys are down the hall." He pointed to the far left of the hallway. "That whole corner is 1618. I'm gonna take a quick shower and then we can meet up and figure out our best chance at getting in that ballroom tomorrow night."

A part of me wanted to pull him back into the elevator, beg him to come to the room with us and save us from ourselves. Surely, if it was the Honeymoon Suite, there'd be more than enough room for him. Sam wasn't stupid, and another part of me told me he knew exactly what he was doing. I remembered his harsh words back in that dingy motel room in Wisconsin. He had said Dean needed to figure this out on his own, and maybe this was his way of moving things along. Now that I finally had a taste of what it was like to be in control of my own life, and as much as I hated people making decisions for me, I trusted Sam. I knew whatever was happening between Dean and I couldn't go on like this forever, and it would eventually come to a head. I knew all too well what happened when you swept things under the rug. It created a giant mound that with my luck, I'd trip over and break my neck.

Sam headed for his room and left Dean and I lingering in the elevator. I clutched my backpack to my chest as our awkward silence filled the room. The beat of my heart and my own unsteady breath was louder than the ridiculous muzak version of the Stone Temple Pilot's, _Plush_, complete with saxophone and snare drums. A lightness found its way to Dean's eyes as he started to smirk. This particular version of the song was comical. Suddenly, with hunter-like reflexes, Dean scooped my up into his arms, bridal style, eliciting a squeal from me, and proceeded to march toward the bedroom.

"Dean," I whined. "Put me down."

He took long strides down the hall and his mouth twisted into a side smile. "Come on, sweetheart. They don't call it the Honeymoon Suite for nothing."

Dean managed to balance me in the same arm his duffel bag was slung over, and he used his free hand to open the door to our hotel room. I gripped his neck a little tighter as he pushed us through the doorway. He dropped his bag on the floor, carelessly tossing me onto the bed, the sheer force of the throw causing me to bounce up and down on the mattress. I didn't even have a chance to settle and take in the surroundings before he scurried off to the bathroom.

I palmed the plush, white down comforter before standing up and walking over to the wall of windows. I pressed a button on the wall and the rich burgundy blinds raised, revealing a beautiful view of the city.

People walked up and down the sidewalks, going about their business, pushing toddlers in carriages and walking their dogs, completely oblivious to the fact that this world was very close to ending and I was the one that would start it all.

"The bathroom's all yours, sweetheart."

I wasn't sure how long I'd been standing at the window, but I spun around just in time to see Dean standing there in nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. Water trickled down his well-developed chest and my eyes followed the trail it left, stopping just below his bellybutton. The corners of Dean's mouth turned up, forming a cocky smile. I quickly turned back to the window. The people walking outside didn't need to turn up their jacket collars to protect them from the cold. I was sure my cheeks were radiating enough heat to warm them to the core. Leaning forward, I placed my hands and rested my forehead on the cool glass trying to freeze the racy thoughts bombarding my mind. I brought my ice cold hands to my cheeks in hopes of taking away the obvious flush. The heat lingering in my belly was easier to hide but so much harder to quell.

Silently, I walked over to the bed and picked up my backpack. There was no way I was walking back out in just a towel. When I walked past Dean, he still had that stupid smirk on his face, his eyes asking me if I saw something I liked. I glowered at him, realizing it was no accident. He purposely strutted out of the bathroom like God's gift to women. I didn't know what I wanted to do more, jump him or smack him.

I slammed the door to the bathroom and tossed my bag across the floor in frustration. What the hell was he trying to pull? Never in my life had I felt so sorry for a person that my own heart ached from their pain and the next minute I wanted to cause as much bodily harm to them as possible. Eying the large jacuzzi, I decided a bath would be a welcomed luxury instead of the quick showers I had been taking. Turning the faucet on, I let the water run as hot as I could stand. Maybe I could fight fire with fire. Maybe all these feelings burning inside of me would just turn to smoke and cover me with ash.

There were some small bottles along the edge of the double sinks. Opening one and bringing it to my nose, I inhaled the smell of lavender and vanilla. I decided to pour it into the bath. As it hit the stream of water, bubbles swirled around the tub and formed an inviting blanket of foam. Steam started to fill the room and I disrobed as the sweet, floral scent enveloped me. Sinking into the warm water, I rested my head along the porcelain edge. I stared up at the vaulted ceiling, staring at the celestial mosaic, an odd choice for bathroom artwork if you asked me. Trying to take my mind off of Dean, I focused on counting the individual tiles that made up the picture. It only brought my mind to more pressing matters as the images of angels came in and out of focus. I closed my eyes and let out a long sigh. Even if I never met the Winchesters, I'd still find it hard to believe angels existed. The kitschy personification of the winged beings portrayed on the ceiling made me laugh. John knew pretty much everything there was to know about this world, but I just couldn't wrap my mind around the thought of girlish looking men with long blond hair in flowing robes held the fate of the world in their hands.

A gentle knock on the door pulled me back from my reverie. "Just a minute," I squeaked out.

The creaking of the door opening startled me, and I splashed around in the tub trying to protect myself, not realizing the more I moved the more the bubbles dispersed and the more likely he was to see my naked body.

"Oh God, Bella," Sam stuttered, looking down, trying to shield his eyes.

In my panic to cover myself, my grip on the tub shifted, and as my head slipped under the surface, I could hear Dean hollering.

"Sammy..."

I struggled to right myself and wiped the bubbles out of my eyes in time to see Dean's arm reach into the bathroom and yank Sam out by his collar, slamming the door shut with his other hand. I heard some rustling, grunts, and maybe something that sounded like a table toppling over and then Dean admonishing Sam.

"I told you to let her be."

Curious as to what all the ruckus was about, I lifted the drain with my big toe. The water begun to suck down the drain. I stood up and grabbed a fluffy white robe from the hook and wrapped my hair up in a beige towel. I toweled off and slipped on a clean pair of jeans, a black tank top, and a flannel shirt. After quickly running a brush through my hair, I threw it up in a bun on top of my head, checked myself one more time in the mirror and walked out.

I was met with Sam and Dean sitting on the deep red, velvet couch, laptop and books strewn all over the coffee table. Sam was diligently clicking away on the keyboard, unable to meet my eyes. Dean sat on the opposite end of the couch not even acknowledging my presence, continuing to shoot imaginary daggers at Sam. I wasn't sure who Sam was more afraid to look at, Dean or me.

"So I think I may have found something," Sam said, not even looking up from the screen.

I walked over to the couch, equal parts relieved and amused that they were completely ignoring the bathroom incident, and proceeded to plant myself to Sam's left, but he scooted all the way over to the arm rest and made room for me between him and Dean. The couch wasn't overly large so as I sat down, my thigh brushed against Dean's. He looked down to our legs but didn't make a move to break the connection. I settled into the back of the couch, making myself comfortable. I had started to notice whenever Sam had information on a case, it was usually long and drawn out. It wasn't necessarily bad, he was just really thorough. Not only were our thighs still touching, but my bare feet dangled off the edge and brushed against Dean's knee.

"So I was trying to figure out how we could get into that benefit tomorrow and I started researching Legionnaire's disease. You guys know why they call it that, right?"

I shook my head and I felt Dean's shoulder bump against me as he shrugged.

Sam smiled wide like he figured out the Da Vinci code or something. "The American Legion. Get this...in 1976 over two hundred people came down with a pneumonia-like sickness. Thirty-four of them died."

"Let me guess. All those people just happened to be visiting the hotel for the American Legion convention," Dean said, standing up and starting to pace the floor.

"Bingo."

"Okay, so why now? The concierge said they've been having the convention here ever since and nothing like that has happened since," I explained.

"Well, I haven't got that far yet. I just know that this is related somehow." Sam stood up and fished into his pocket. He produced two tickets. "I did get you and Dean into the benefit."

"What about you?" I asked. "You're not coming with us?"

"Bobby, could only get two tickets. Besides, I need to figure out how all this is related. I have an awful feeling that those thirty-four suicides were just a precursor for tomorrow night. I'm almost positive all those people attending the benefit will die if we don't stop whatever it is that's doing this."

"Great," Dean said bitterly, scowling at Sam. "You got Bella and I two front row tickets to the sick show."

"Don't worry. She'll be safe..." Dean cleared his throat loudly before Sam quickly corrected himself. "...you'll both be safe. I think I have a lead." Sam looked back down and started furiously typing away.

I picked up one of the books from the table and started flipping through different types of folklore. Dean bent over and snatched up the tickets, inspecting them carefully in his hands. Startled by Dean's gruff voice, I looked up to find him staring down Sam.

"Sammy," he warned, his voice laced with malice. "Something you wanted to tell me about the benefit?"

Sam shut the laptop and forced a smile. "It's an open bar?"

"Black tie? Really, Sammy? Where the hell am I going to get a tuxedo last minute?"

Gulping slowly, I shut the book and looked to my left. "I don't have anything to wear either..."

"Don't worry, Bella. You and Dean are going to go shopping." This time the smile on Sam's face was real, but I didn't like the mischief hiding behind his eyes.

"What? Nn...no." I stood up nervously from the couch and Sam chuckled under his breath.

Sam was always so serious most of the time, and it was nice to see him laugh and enjoy himself, but I couldn't find humor in the situation. Taking pleasure in our discomfort was bad enough, but it also confirmed my lingering suspicions. Sam had set us up. There was no way this could end well...for any of us.

I hated shopping for clothes and Renee always complained about how difficult I was whenever she tried to take me. I had a feeling shopping with me was a walk in the park compared to how Dean would act.

~o~

If I were any other girl, I'd probably be drooling. If I were Alice, I'd be whipping around the room at vampire speed, picking out everything in my size. Rack after rack was filled with dresses made of the finest fabrics from silk to lace covered in beads. The other side of the room had everything from something that looked a lot like a tutu to khaki pants. The mahogany woodwork from the hotel had made its way to the famous designer shop in the form of built in shelves along the walls. Several pairs of shoes filled the spaces. I stood at the entrance, taking one last look at the elevators, wondering if I could make a run for it and hole myself up in the bathroom of our suite.

Dean reached out and grabbed my hand. "Come on, sweetheart."

We slowly walked into the Ralph Lauren store. To say we were both awestruck was an understatement. Even though the deep red velvet couches were inviting―I knew how comfortable they were first hand from our suite―I couldn't bring myself to sit down.

Dean strutted us over to the saleswoman. She crinkled her nose and narrowed her eyes, looking us over suspiciously. I suddenly felt like we were about to have our very own "Pretty Woman" moment. A guy in a beat-up leather jacket and a girl with Converse sneakers had no business being in a posh store like this. I only hoped that Dean's confidence and smooth talking would win her over, and we'd find what we needed quickly so we could get back to hunting whatever was in that hotel as soon as possible.

Still holding onto his hand, I yanked Dean back to me. He turned to face me, and we were so close our heads almost touched.

I lowered my voice. "Dean, tell me you don't feel right about this?"

He smiled softly at me. "Nothing about this feels right to me. We're in a designer store for Christ's sake. It's bad enough I'm gonna feel like a mook in a suit, but an overpriced tuxedo?" He raised an eyebrow at me. "I'd rather be spending this kind of money on strippers."

I scowled at him but I really shouldn't have been surprised. Dean was a pig. "Speaking of money, how exactly do you plan on paying for this stuff?"

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a well-worn leather wallet. Flipping it open, I was met with a row of four or five credit cards.

Dean shuffled the cards in his hand. "Who should I be today? Mr. Jones, Mr. Fogerty, or Mr. Manilow?"

I snorted, trying to bite back a laugh. Dean and Sam used the names of classic rock musicians as their aliases, but one of these things just didn't belong.

My lips turned up into a smile. "Barry Manilow...really?"

He averted my eyes, quickly stuffing the wallet back in his jeans. "Bobby did it as a joke."

"Right..." I said, pursing my lips as laughter bubbled up from my chest.

The saleswoman pulled down her blouse a bit, revealing ample cleavage and smoothed out her skin tight, black skirt before she approached us.

_'What the hell does he see in her?' _I winced as her acid tone burnt through my mind.

We weren't together but she didn't know that, and it didn't make her words hurt any less. Dean was a good looking guy; anyone with a working set of eyes could see that. I was just plain Bella with my mousy brown hair and boring features. God knew what Edward saw in me. I started to think maybe the reason Edward wanted to be with me so badly was because I helped perpetuate his cover. Being with a pathetic little human helped affirm his humanity.

Dean tried to pull me along, but my feet remained permanently on the ground as I lowered my head and frowned.

"What's the matter?" he asked, the soft tone of his voice showing genuine concern.

When I wouldn't meet his eyes, he turned to the saleswoman who was smiling bright and then looked back at me. He brought his hands to my face, tilting my chin lightly so I would see him.

"Did you hear her say something?" he whispered.

I nodded slightly but shrugged it off. He spun back around to the woman, glaring at her.

"Dean, it's fine. Don't worry about it." There was no point in telling him what she said. One, it was true... There was nothing Dean would ever see in me. Two, if he thought the saleswoman wanted him, he'd probably flirt relentlessly with her and make this shopping trip more excruciating than it already would be.

He faced me and a warm smile made its way to his lips and eyes. Throwing an arm around my shoulder, he pulled me close to his chest, making sure the saleswoman was watching.

Lowering his head, he rested his chin on me and whispered in my ear. "You can do this, beautiful."

The warmth of his breath hitting the back of my neck was nothing compared to the way I felt when he called me beautiful. I didn't know if it was a slip of the tongue or a show he was putting on for the saleswoman, but I didn't mind the new nickname at all. The way he held me, with arms around me and his lips just grazing my ear lobe, I really did feel beautiful even if it was just for that moment, even if it was just an act.

A loud clearing of a throat broke through the air, causing Dean to pull away and right himself. The saleswoman pursed her lips as her brows knitted together in disgust.

"What can I help you with?" she asked with a fake smile and an equally fake voice.

_'Please let her be his sister.' _

"We need some digs for this thing we're going to tomorrow night," Dean explained, offering her his signature smirk.

"Oh, the Legionnaire's Disease benefit?" Dean gave her a nod and she clapped her hands together. Her eyes got bright and wide. "Are you one of the doctors? I'd be happy to help you and your sister find something."

"She's not my sister," Dean answered, plastering a big smile on his face. "She's my date."

_'She must be one his patients and she's sick and dying.' _A hateful smile tugged at her lips.

Dean was good at reading people, and he probably knew exactly what was going on. I didn't know why he chose to ignore the saleswoman's advances or her instance of painting me in an inferior light, but I was incredibly grateful.

She came up behind him, measuring his shoulders and grabbing them a little too tightly. "Wow, you've got a really broad back..." she spun him around and wrapped the tape measure around him, pulling him into her as their chests touched "...and a really muscular chest. Do you work out?" She giggled furiously as she continued to size him. Getting down on her knees and looking up at him through her lashes, she smiled seductively as she took the tape measure to his inseam.

Getting a little too close for comfort, Dean reared back. "Whoa, there..." he said, laughing softly. "How about you just find me some pants with a thirty-two inch inseam. Thanks."

The saleswoman scurried off out back, obviously dejected, and I hid my smile as I perused the rack of dresses. I was way out of my league. I wished Alice was there to help make sense of the different cuts and styles. Everything seemed too fancy or too uncomfortable to wear. The only dress that caught my eye was a black, full length one shoulder gown. It was simple and plain and a lot like me. The only accent was a cream colored blossom one shoulder strap. I pulled it from the rack and noticed a dangerous slit that went all to the waist and a back dipped fairly low, accentuating the derriere. Cringing from the thought of showing that much skin, I was about to put it back when our _friendly_ saleswoman came up behind me.

"I don't really think that's something you can pull off, _sweetheart_." Her snide, nasally voice tainted the term of endearment I had become so fond of.

She reached for another dress and pulled out something resembling a burlap sack. This dress had no shape and was a sickening bubblegum pink. Clearly, it was meant for a supermodel or someone with exceptionally long legs so it would look more like a mini-dress and less frumpy on them. Maybe if I had a gorgeous face, I could pull it off.

I sucked in a breath and shook my head. "I don't like that one so much."

My hand was still on the hanger of the black dress but she reached out and forced me to put it back. Dean let out a loud cough as the saleswoman and I turned around to see him standing behind us, garment bag casually draped over his shoulder.

"Is there a problem?" he asked in a firm voice as he narrowed his eyes at the saleswoman.

She planted a smile on her face as the corners of her eyes crinkled and strained to force her fake enthusiasm. "I was just trying to help your..._date _find a dress more suitable for her body type."

Dean eyed the pink abomination in her hand and laughed sarcastically. He came over and grabbed the same dress I had picked out and shoved it at the saleswoman.

"She can wear this one."

The woman's lips puckered into a bitter smile as she led me back to the dressing room. Carefully taking the dress off the hanger, I fingered the soft material. I slipped the dress on and actually enjoyed the way it clung to my body, feeling like I wasn't wearing anything at all. Some of the things Alice had dressed me in were heavy and hung off my body, making me feel like the dress would swallow me whole. This was light and effortless.

I stepped out of the small room, walking with my head down until I reached the trio of full length mirrors. The saleswoman had gasped and I spun around, feeling self-conscious. I was probably dragging her precious dress along the floor, which reminded me I'd need to grab some shoes and the only ones available were nothing short of a deathtrap.

She came up behind me and proceeded to arrange the shoulder strap as she looked at me in the mirror.

_'Just look at her. That body...' _Her mental voice wasn't one of disgust but more of shock.

Her hands traveled down my back, to my sides, smoothing out the fabric and squeezing a little too firmly around my hips. I narrowed my eyes at her and she pulled away.

"I suppose with the right shoes, you can make this work."

I changed out of the dress while she fetched a pair of black pumps. When I came out of the dressing room, Dean was already at the counter paying. I held the dress in my arms and slowly made my way over to him.

As the saleswoman was writing up the slip she raised an eyebrow at me. "You're sure this it the dress you want?"

Dean sent her a warning look as he scooped up the box of shoes and shoved them under his arm like a football.

I smiled and the woman and _politely _replied, "Thanks, but I think I'll take my chances."

"You ready to get out of here, sweetheart? I'm starved."

* * *

E/N – So you can probably guess where the title of the chapter came from. Reviews are better than Dean calling you beautiful. You know the drill!

I also want to tell everyone about an awesome FB group for fic and pretty much anything else you're interested in. It's a wonderful group of people headed by the lovely Corrupt Subduction. Go add yourself, and you make get extra teasers for this story there!


	13. Crave

A/N – Special thanks to my Team Bean girls. They know how much I love them. I want to give a quick birthday wish to Weekittyandtat.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but Dean Winchester owns my heart. Hubs is a little miffed. *Kanye shrug*

* * *

This chapter is brought to you by Snow Patrol's song, _Run_. Visuals are on my profile. You're gonna want to check it out to see what the OC character looks like. Trust me.

_'I can barely look at you but every single time I do, I know we'll make it anywhere away from here.'_

**Chapter 13 - Crave**

Instead of heading to the elevators, Dean made his way to the revolving doors that lead to the main street. I tried to catch up to him, but the long garment bag was heavy and awkward to carry, and I kept tripping over it. Dean snatched the dress from me and slung it over his shoulder.

"Where are we going?"

He stopped walking and turned around to look back at me, raising an appraising eyebrow. "I'm not the only that's hungry. I could hear your stomach growling back there."

I wrapped an arm around my midsection and scowled. It wasn't that I was mad at Dean for pointing out the obvious. I was more mad at my stomach for making such offending noises. Just once, I wanted to be _that _girl. The one that was comfortable in her own skin. The one that could put a simple black dress on and turn it into something beautiful, not because it was made of fancy material or cost thousands of dollars but because the person wearing it was beautiful. I knew that wasn't me, no matter how many times Alice turned me into her own 3D version of a paper doll, I just didn't feel that way. There was always something reminding me of who I was―a broken leg, my inability to walk in anything besides sneakers, and the fact that I was constantly surrounded by truly beautiful creatures. There was also the fact that my "human" qualities, like a loud, grumbling stomach, weren't quite as endearing to Dean as they were to Edward.

Dean's eyes widened as a large grin formed on his lips. "I know, right? It's a wonder I could hear anything over that woman's constant yapping."

And just like that, all my inadequacies disappeared. I smiled shyly, lowering my eyes. Whether he was trying to make me feel better or he was just being Dean, it didn't matter. The truth was, he made me feel good about myself―they both did. Sam was always there to build up my confidence when I was feeling less than perfect. He helped me see the things that really mattered, and that was something I always seemed to struggle with. Sam got me, but Dean got_ to _me. I still couldn't explain it, but I just wanted to be near him. I was better, stronger and Edward's ghost was disappearing, his hold on me fading steadily. Then there was his touch. Where Edward's touch sent me flying, brought me to a place where nothing else mattered but him and what he wanted, Dean set me on fire and grounded me all at the same time. Instead of throwing my rationale out the window and ignoring my instinct like I had with Edward, I found myself questioning everything when it came to Dean, from the looks I didn't understand to the things he said and didn't say. Time away from Forks, away from the constant reminder of the Cullens gave me perspective on my relationship with Edward. One reason I felt so lost, so broken when he left me was because I had given up so much to be with him. Edward had never out right tried to get me to change, he even tried to fight it, but we both knew it was the only way we could be together, and I would have done anything...including giving up my humanity. Things couldn't have been more different with the Winchesters and I think that was why I felt so at home with them. Despite our knowledge of Eve and her plans for me, they trusted me enough to make the right choice, to be the person I was meant to become.

Out of nowhere, he slung his free arm around my shoulder and guided us through the doors. Instead of shying away, I felt myself relax against him. Not only was I getting more comfortable with our closeness, I was starting to crave it. We took a few steps in tandem, and it wasn't until we were walking on the bustling street that Dean finally released me so we could navigate through the crowd easily. I bit back the whimper that threatened to escape as my body reacted to the loss of his heat. It was chilly November day and I wasn't dressed properly. Dean's body radiated much more warmth than my flimsy hoodie ever could, and I certainly didn't mind the way my skin tingled and vibrated every time he was near. This was what living felt like―every touch felt like fire; the scenery almost blinded me with vivid colors. For so long, my life was filled with dull, gray skies. Even in Arizona where the sun constantly shined, I still felt like I was living in darkness. I followed my mother around, catering to her every whim from taking pottery classes with her, to driving five hours on a Sunday to try the best Chai tea this side of the Atlantic. It wasn't that I was unhappy; I just never took the time to do anything I wanted to do. I hadn't exactly been too keen on moving to Forks either. I did that for her.

When I met the Cullens, I caught a glimpse of how amazing life could be, except it wasn't my life either. I foolishly tried to insert myself in a world I didn't belong. I was a mere mortal living amongst gods. Their world was fantastical. Just thinking about running in the woods and flying through the trees with Edward sent a heavy thrill down my spine. I had held on for dear life and kept my eyes squeezed shut for fear of getting sick. What the hell had I been thinking? There was no way I was cut out for that, vampire or not.

Life with the Winchesters wasn't exactly the stuff dreams were made of either. We slept in sketchy motels, spent more time on the road than in the places we traveled to, and most of the time we were throwing ourselves right in harm's way. But for some strange reason it made me feel whole. For once in my life I was a part of something bigger than my own selfish desires. We were helping people, making the world a better place one ghost and demon at a time. Then there was the whole apocalypse thing, and while I wasn't completely thrilled at the prospect of being used by Eve, I felt important. With the help of the brothers of course, the fate of the world depended on me. I was finally given the chance to make my own choices. The irony wasn't lost on me. The girl that was supposed to start the apocalypse had never made a choice for herself―until now. I prayed I was strong enough to make the right choice when it came down to it.

We walked another block and Dean stopped in front of a street vendor. Steam came off of the cart as the man chopped and flipped with a metal spatula, a loud clang echoing through the street.

The sweet smell of sautéed onions filled the air as I hummed in approval. "It smells so good."

Dean pursed his lips and nodded toward the cart. "Real Philly Cheesesteak. There's nothing like it."

He chatted up the vendor and ordered our food. I stood up on my tip-toes, trying to get a better look at the man as he assembled our sandwiches. I still came up short so Dean pulled me into him and wrapped an arm around my waist, lifting me gently. I watched as the man layered the beef and onions on a long roll. He grabbed a can of Cheez Whiz and started to squirt it on the sandwich. I crinkled my nose and tapped Dean on the arm to signal him to put me down.

I let out a laugh and shook my head. "I'm pretty sure the fact that he's using spreadable cheese that comes in an aerosol can makes this anything but real."

Dean rolled his eyes and huffed. "Alright. Authentic. Better?"

The guy handed him a bag and something that looked like a cardboard dog bowl filled with french fries. Dean took out a wad of money and gave it to him before walking over with the food. He extended the bowl of fries toward me, and I hesitantly took one and brought it to my mouth. Between the excessive grease and melted cheese, it barely resembled a fry. I popped it in my mouth and was immediately flooded with flavor. I reached out for more and took a whole handful, stuffing them in my mouth, completely unaware of how crass it must have looked.

Dean just chuckled as I proceeded to stuff my face. I looked up, quickly wiping the dripping cheese from the corner of my mouth. Dean's eyes lit up as he gave me sideways smirk. "I knew you'd like them. But do you think we can save some for Sam?" He carefully put the bowl in the bag and handed it to me. "Make sure you hold it upright so it doesn't spill all over the cheesesteaks."

~o~

Later that day, after we each had polished off two sandwiches, the rest of the fries, and a few beers, we still weren't any closer to finding out what had caused the suicides.

"It has to have something to do with what happened back in '76. I just can't find the missing pieces." Sam looked back down at the book he had in his lap. "Everything points to a ghost, but since when can a ghost, with no physical or emotional tie to the victim, make a person kill themselves? Even the strongest poltergeists don't have the ability to control minds."

Dean shrugged. "Maybe whatever this is...is just making it look like suicide."

Sam scrambled to grab the newspaper clippings that had a list of obituaries from the last week. Unfortunately it gave no details about the deaths. When it was suicide they never did; it usually just gave something vague and cryptic like, "died suddenly" or "passed unexpectedly."

"Well there's only one way to find out..." Dean threw on his leather jacket and grabbed his forty-five, tucking it into the inside pocket and making his way to the door. He turned around to see Sam and me still sitting on the couch.

I shook my head and frowned. "The bodies won't be there. It's been two weeks. They're all buried by now."

"I'm not going to just sit here and wait for you two brainiacs to figure it out. Something big is happening tomorrow night, Bella. We don't have a leg to stand on, and I'll be damned if I let you get..." he took a deep breath "...look, we need more to go off of. I'm going to go poke around and see what I come up with." He turned to Sam, his green eyes stern, giving a silent warning, and Sam nodded before Dean left the room.

Sam took out his laptop and started typing away. I shot him an incredulous look before getting up and standing in front of him. He kept his head down, looking intently at the screen and wouldn't acknowledge my presence.

"Is there something wrong with me?"

His head shot up, surprise filling his eyes. "W..wwhat? No." He let out a nervous chuckle, forcing a smile and shaking his head. "Why would you say that?"

"Oh, I don't know…maybe because Dean would rather go on a wild goose chase than stay here with me."

Sam closed the laptop and looked at me with a pensive stare. "It's not you. Trust me."

I sat back down, angling my body toward him, and he turned to face me. "Look, I'm used to the whole hot and cold thing." I rolled my eyes thinking about Edward and his reluctance to be with me in the beginning. At least Edward had an excuse; my blood called to him and he was afraid he'd hurt me. Whatever push and pull relationship Dean and I had was unlike anything I ever felt before.

_Relationship. _I couldn't even call it that. No matter how hard I tried to figure out whatever this thing between us was...I always came up short.

I huffed and narrowed my eyes. "Is this...is this because he's afraid I'm going to mess something up tomorrow night?"

"Bella, we've been at this awhile." Sam let out a long sigh, his voice soft with sadness. "Dean and me...we're all we've got. Then you came along and changed that." He paused, his intense stare causing me to look away. "It's not..." He squeezed my knee, forcing me look at him. "...it's not a bad thing. I just don't think either of us were expecting it."

I stared at his hand and he quickly took it away. "What are you saying?"

"Dean cares about you...we both do." My eyes shot up to his as he continued. "You know how he is...shoot first, ask questions later. For the first time in..." he raised his hands in the air, completely at a loss "...ever, Dean doesn't want to go in half-cocked. He wants to make sure we do this right...that we keep you safe."

I could feel the tears start to sting my eyes. Again, I was becoming a burden for the people I cared about. "That's not your job."

Sam laughed under his breath. "It's probably the only job Dean has ever taken seriously. He's spent his whole life protecting me, keeping me safe...no matter the cost." The corner of his eyes crinkled as his lips twisted into a smile. "It's actually a relief. I feel like I have room to breathe when you're around, like I can be myself. I'm not just the kid brother anymore."

"So what? Now I'm the little sister you _both_ feel the need to save? I'm a big girl, Sam. This was my choice." Firmly planting my hands on either side of me, I pushed myself off the couch in one swift movement.

I shook my head in disbelief as I paced in front of Sam. I got that Dean wanted to keep me safe; it was part of who he was. Dean was a protector and he'd sacrifice himself before he ever let someone he cared about get hurt. At times it made me feel more like a tag-along and less of an equal, but that was what I had Sam for. Now it felt like he was lumping me into the damsel-in-distress category the same as Dean did and I didn't like it.

I started to walk toward the door but Sam rushed to my side, putting a hand on my shoulder and spinning me around to face him. Hurt washed over his face as his eyes narrowed.

"That's not what I'm trying to say. Bella, do you have any idea what it's like to feel like a burden, to be the one that holds the people you love back?"

I turned away, unwilling to see the same pain I knew all too well on Sam's face. "Yeah," I said flatly, "and I don't want to be that for either of you." _Never again. Not after Edward,_ I repeated to myself.

His voice softened. "What do you want, Bella?"

No one had ever asked me that question. My eyes snapped up to meet Sam's. "I thought I knew what I wanted, but I just don't know anymore."

He tossed his head back, forcing the shaggy hair from his eyes. Letting out a shallow breath, he said, "I thought I knew what I wanted too. I wanted out of this life so badly, but here I am." Sam pursed his lips together and shook his head slightly. "Look, no one has an instruction manual. We're faced with hard choices every day...granted the one you're gonna have to make down the road is a lot more important than choosing whether to have bacon or sausage with your Grand Slam." He chuckled and I tried hard not to smile, but I felt my cheeks tightening. He smiled softly at me. "My point is, I've spent my life having to decide between what was right and what was easy. I chose what was right, every single time...no matter what it cost."

I started to chew on my lip, unsure of whether we were talking about the apocalypse or my current status with his brother. Sam noticed my internal debate and decided to shed some light on it for me.

"We both know you're not here to be saved or out of some obligation to save the world. You're here because you want to be. And whether you're ready to admit it or not, you're here for him...for Dean. He knows that and if he didn't feel the same way he would have ditched you at a bus station weeks ago. He's never really had someone care about him before that wasn't related to him. That's why keeping you safe is so important to him...you're important to him."

"What if keeping me safe puts the both of you in danger? I don't think I could live with myself if..."

Sam smiled widely, showing off his perfect white teeth. "Where's Dean when you need him for some corny, 'Danger's my middle name' line. Honestly, the most dangerous thing about you is that you make Dean feel something else besides anger and hate. He's not just a means to an end or mindless soldier anymore. You keep him human, Bella." He lowered his eyes as his voice softened. "You keep both of us human."

Sam never went into detail about the demon blood coursing through his veins, but I could tell he struggled with it. It was one of the reasons he tried so hard to do the right thing and save as many lives as he could. I wished he would listen to his own advice. The blood pumping through him didn't define who he was, just like the vampire venom didn't make me a hunter. He was right. Life was always about choices, and I had faith that Sam would always choose good over evil, no amount of demon blood would ever change that. I just wished I had the same kind of faith in myself. I didn't just want to be here; I _needed_ to be here. With the Winchesters by my side, there was no way I could fail.

~o~

Dean came back about an hour later with some valuable information. We actually didn't realize how important it really was until Sam and I did some more research.

"So this thing tomorrow...it's being held in honor of the late Dr. McDade."

"McDade...McDade...Why does that name sound familiar?" Sam started rummaging through his notes.

Dean stared at me for a minute, carefully appraising my face. After Sam's little talk, I got a little worked up and had to excuse myself. I needed time to let it all sink in. I took a quick shower in hopes of concealing the tears I had shed once I finally realized what Sam was trying to say. They weren't just keeping me safe because it meant stopping the apocalypse―they both needed me as much as I had come to need them. It was like a dam broke, and with it, all my tears―for Edward, for the Cullens, for myself―came flooding out. I had never felt so liberated. I knew my cheeks were still flushed and my eyes a little puffy, but I thought maybe I could pass it off as being tired.

He finally broke his stare and turned to Sam. "It's sick, isn't it? Sam loves his research. He keeps it under his mattress with the KY."

I laughed and shook my head at Dean's crude humor. Sam scowled as I stood up from the couch and over exaggerated my motion by rubbing my eyes. "I think I'm going to lay down for a bit."

Both Sam and Dean gave me a questioning look, but I kept my head down, giving them a shy smile. Grabbing my laptop out of my bag, I made my way to the oversized bed. I propped some pillows against the headboard and made myself comfortable, creating a make-shift table on my lap out of one of the gaudy throw pillows. I started typing away, Googling everything there ever was about Joseph McDade. I had finally found one of the missing puzzle pieces. Now we knew the why.

"Guys," I called from the bedroom. "I think you're gonna wanna hear this."

Sam and Dean rushed in. The bed was more than big enough for us to all sit comfortably, but Dean chose to scoot next to me, resting an arm over the headboard and essentially over my shoulders. I looked up briefly, liking his proximity a little too much, and bit the inside of my cheek to keep me from smiling. Sam took his place at the foot of the bed, his elbow propped on his knee as he rested his chin in the palm of his hand.

"Joseph McDade was the doctor that discovered the strain of bacteria responsible for killing all those people back in '76. Everything I've read paints this guy like a hero...but something just doesn't feel right..." Continuing to scroll down the page, I stopped dead in my tracks and leaned closer to make sure I was reading it right. "Oh my God!" I brought my hand to my mouth and felt Dean move even closer as he looked over my shoulder. "McDade was a medic in the Vietnam war. That would make him a veteran, right? It's plausible that he was a member of the American Legion."

I started to frantically click away, entering all different search terms, hitting the back button, and repeating the action until I found what I was looking for. Sam looked on in wonder as Dean sat next to me with a proud smile on his face.

"Bingo!" I looked up from the screen and smiled wide at the brothers. "Not only was he a member, he was scheduled to speak at the conference. Apparently he took a position at the CDC after the war. Instead of going back into the field, he wanted to go into research. He was going to give some speech about the importance of identifying different strains of bacteria and how it could have saved lives in the trenches. Except he wasn't able to go because he mysteriously came down with a fever the night before. He sent his assistant instead."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Let me guess, this assistant was one of the thirty-four that died."

"That's just it...he was there, he gave the speech, and then he disappeared. It's like he fell off the face of the earth."

Sam stood up and started pacing. "Okay, so maybe we have an angry ghost on our hands. But that doesn't explain the suicides..."

I could feel Dean's chin press against my shoulder and his hot breath tickling my neck as he spoke. "Got a picture of this assistant, sweetheart?"

Closing out of the window, I opened up Google Images and typed in "Marshall Cross". A picture of a good looking man, who couldn't have been much older than Dean, with hair so light it was almost white and blue eyes that were hidden behind thick framed glasses. You could tell by the way he tried not to make eye contact with the camera that he was shy.

While I silently mused about how handsome Marshall was, Dean started to grumble. "Sonofabitch."

I felt the mattress move as he stood up and fished into his back pocket. He whipped down a brochure for the benefit tomorrow night. "Look familiar?"

The resemblance was uncanny. The same piercing blue eyes, except clearly he had opted for contacts instead of the clunky frames of yesteryear. He had cut his hair into a short crew cut so the stunning blond wasn't as noticeable, but it was definitely Marshall Cross, and he hadn't aged a day.

Sam stood over me and looked down at the picture. "So it's not a ghost."

Dean narrowed his eyes at Sam. "Ya think?"

Sam let out a huff. "Okay, so a demon?"

"I don't know...it seems too 'showy' for a demon. All I know is more people are going to die if we don't gank this thing."

"Maybe Dad's journal has something in it." Sam made for the sitting room but stopped short when he realized the journal wasn't there. "Damn, I left it back in my room." He looked back at Dean and me and screwed his lips tightly, trying to hide his smirk and keep a straight face. "I think I'm probably gonna pack it in for the night anyway."

Shifting uncomfortably, Dean narrowed his eyes at Sam and then stood up straight, clearing his throat. "I'm gonna go see what I can dig up on this Marshall Cross guy. If he's been around since the seventies, he's gotta be hiding some skeletons in the closet."

Sam headed out the door to his room and Dean followed behind him. For people that wanted me around so badly, they sure left me alone an awful lot.

Dean paused in the door way, his eyes softening. "Just don't open this door for anyone, okay?"

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but the hotel room was pitch black when I woke up dying of thirst. Reaching over to the nightstand, I flipped on the light and gasped when I saw Dean standing in the entryway of the room, hidden in the shadows. I placed my hand over my chest, hoping to slow down my racing heart.

"Dean! What are you doing over there?"

He stepped into the light and I noticed the pained expression on his face. "Would I sound really creepy if I said watching you sleep?" He smirked but it didn't reach his eyes.

I let out a laugh and got out of bed, padding along the carpet toward the mini-fridge. "Actually, I'm pretty used to it."

Dean's eyes followed me as I walked into the living room. I bent over to open the fridge, the cold gust of air causing my nipples to harden and goosebumps to form along my bare legs. I hadn't realized I was only in a skimpy pair of boy shorts and a thin t-shirt. After Dean had left abruptly, I just assumed I would be spending the night alone, so I wasn't worried about my sleep attire. My brain was fried from all the research, and I was so physically and mentally exhausted, I just stripped out of my clothes and got into the bed. If I had known Dean planned on coming back, I would have made sure I was wearing something with a little more...coverage. There wasn't much I could do about it now, so I turned around and held my head high, concentrating on my water and not the heat from Dean's stare.

He swallowed thickly as his eyes snapped from my chest to meet my own. "That's right. I forgot. Your boyfriend didn't sleep much. Talk about awkward pillow talk."

I took a few steps closer to him. He moved to back away, but he was trapped between me and the wall and he had no choice but to look at me. "Not that it's any of your business...there wasn't any pillow talk."

"Dead guy couldn't get it up?"

One more step and our chests were touching. I stood on my tip-toes so our faces would meet. "What's your problem with me, really?"

"I don't have a problem with you, Bella," he gritted out.

I placed both my hands on his chest and gave him a shove. Surprised by my own aggression, I let my hands fall to my side and took a few steps back. Looking up through tear glazed eyes, I asked, "Then why do you keep doing this? Just when I think we've found common ground...when I think that maybe there's something..." I shook my head and let out a loud sigh, trying to compose myself "...you have to go and do or say something stupid to ruin it all."

He stalked toward me and pushed into me, looking down at me as I breathed heavily. I heard an incessant pounding in my ears as my heart beat faster, forcing the blood to rush to my face. It was hard to keep my resolve when he was that close to me.

"I don't know how many different ways I can say it to you. I'm trying to give you an out. It's too late for me. This is who I am. And it's fine. I accept that. But this life..." he sucked in a sharp breath, his lips curling over his teeth "...I know what it does to a person. I don't want that for you. You wanna know why I'm such an ass?" He tentatively reached out and moved a strand of hair behind my ear. I could feel moisture pooling in my eyes. I held my breath, not ready for his answer.

His hand trailed down my neck, gently cupping my cheek. "Because if I get close to you, I'm gonna get you killed."

I closed my eyes and swallowed slowly, his touch burning me from the inside out. My false bravado from before had slipped away when I opened my eyes to meet a blazing green. "Did you ever think to ask me what I want?"

Dean backed up and turned away from me, obviously not wanting to hear what I had to say. I chased after him and snaked my arms around his waist, pulling him into me from behind. I wasn't ready to say the words to his face. "I want to be here, Dean...because...because I..."

He broke away from my hold, spinning around so fast to face me, his eyes fierce and daring me to finish what I had started to say. The light trace of sadness mixed with hope caused me to falter.

"I know it's not going to be easy, but that doesn't matter because being with you and Sam...it just feels right. Even if I wasn't a part of some crazy bitch's plan to end the world, I'd still want to be here..." my voice trailed off to a whisper "...with you."

I watched as his eyes filled with pain. Our mouths were so close together, I could have easily kissed that pain away. I leaned in a bit closer, letting out the breath I was holding. Sharing the same air, Dean sucked in a sharp breath. _'Please don't say that, sweetheart. You have no idea how much I want this, but I can't. I gotta keep my head in the game because if I lose control...if I give into what I really want... ' _

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to silence his thoughts. If I heard one more person I cared about talk about losing control, and that it was the reason they couldn't be with me, I was going to scream. Give me a line about how you're just not that into me, but don't tell me you're trying to protect me_. _He was acting just like Edward, thinking he was keeping me safe by pushing me away.

"Look, I'm not asking for anything from you. It's simple. Just stop trying to be an ass and pushing me away...because it's not gonna work. You're stuck with me." I punched him in the arm, trying to lighten the mood.

He swallowed thickly and forced a smile, averting his eyes from me and staring at the wall. "Bella," he spoke softly. My smile started to fade when I realized he wasn't going to let this go. "Could you maybe put some pants on?"

No other words were spoken that night. They didn't need to be. The way he wrapped his arms around me tightly, molding his body around my own, and the way I fit so perfectly, like I was made just for that, said everything I needed to know.

~o~

We met Sam in his room early the next morning. Apparently he had taken advantage of the room service since the strong smell of coffee filled the air and there was a basket on the table, filled with muffins and danish. Dean went over to it, ravenous and started to stuff his face with the top of a blueberry muffin. I eyed the bowl of fresh cut fruit, feeling my mouth water and my body crave the vitamins it had been lacking from our current diet of fast food and gas station snacks.

Sam smiled at me and gestured toward the table. "I figured you could only take so much grease and junk food."

"Hey," Dean said in a muffled voice as his cheeks were packed full of food, making him look like an adorable chipmunk. "I happen to like my food. And don't think about pushing that healthy salad crap on me."

I walked past Sam with the bowl of fruit in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other. I wanted to show him how grateful I was, but my otherwise occupied hands made it difficult to give him a friendly pat on the arm that we had exchanged on several occasions. Instead, I leaned in and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks, Sam."

Sam immediately looked down, a shy, thin smile forming on his lips. My mouth twisted into a small smile as I walked past Dean who was shooting a steely glare toward Sam and I. I hugged my mug of coffee closer to my body, enjoying the warmth and steam rising from the cup and the heat of Dean's stare.

Dean continued to eat while Sam explained the plan.

"All signs point to possession. It should be simple. We just have to get him in a Devil's Trap."

"And how do you propose we do that?" Dean asked smugly as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Well, you and Bella are going to be at the benefit...if you can corner him and get him alone in the function hall next to the ballroom, I'll take care of putting the Devil's Trap in place."

Dean carefully watched Sam, his eyes tightening, sending him a silent warning. I looked back at Dean but Sam shrugged it off and continued.

"That's where you're gonna come in, Bella." I looked up from my coffee and made eye contact with Sam, wondering what part I would play and how I could help. "Apparently our friend Marshall has a thing for younger women."

I gulped the hot coffee down and felt the burn as it scorched my throat and warmed my chest, but it was nothing compared to fire in Dean's eyes as he stared at his brother.

"Sammy... No. Absolutely not. You know what he does to those girls. Think of another way."

"Dean, we went over this last night..."

"And I said no then too. He's the freakin' captain of manslaughter and bloodshed."

"Guys!" I slammed a hand down on the table, the loud slap echoing through the room and grabbing their attention. "Feel like filling me in here so I know what I'm agreeing to?"

Sam pulled out a chair and placed a demonology book in front of me. The picture looked like a cross between a large dog and a griffin with wings and teeth just waiting to rip into you. My eyes widened as I took a closer look. The creature's eyes were so dark it sent chill down my spine.

"That's what we're up against?" I asked, swallowing thickly.

"Not exactly." Sam forced a smile, hoping to comfort me a bit. "It appears Marshall Cross has been possessed by the demon Classyalabolas since the early seventies..." He motioned to the book sitting in front of me and I continued to read on. "He's obsessed with science; that's probably why he probably possessed Marshall." Sam's voice was calm, like this was a normal conversation.

"Okay...so he's basically just a big geek at heart. That's not so bad."

Dean came up behind me and snatched the book away as he paced around the room. "Bella, I don't think you understand. This Classyaba..." he huffed unable to pronounce the name properly "...whatever the hell his name is...he's bad news. This thing kills people just so he can watch them die. He does it for fun and thanks to modern science, now he can be more creative."

He narrowed his eyes at me, a grimace forming on his face. "Those people that died back in '76, he infected them with some disease he concocted. He likes to kidnap young girls so he can test out different viruses but not before he..." his hand balled into a fist as he brought it to his mouth "...those suicides two weeks ago, that was just him making sure he got it right before the big event. I'm not gonna let you be this guy's sick entertainment before the big show."

I silently stood up from my chair and walked over to him. He looked down at me, his lips in a thin line and his eyes filled with worry. I took both his hands in my own and smiled sadly. "That's not your choice to make, Dean. I want to do this. We have to save those people."

"Bella..." His voice was strangled, but I silenced him by placing a finger over his lips.

"I can do this. You know I can...and you'll be right there with me so I know I'll be safe."

* * *

E/N – Do we like creeper Dean? Is he less stalkerish than Edward?

Joseph McDade is real and he did discover the bacteria (Legionnaire's Disease) that killed all those people in 1976 at the hotel Bella and the Winchesters are staying at. Marshall Cross and his storyline is completely fabricated.

Classyalabolas is real demon found in the Goetia, also known as the Lesser Key of Solomon. If you look him up online, you may be able to figure out what happens next.

I do have some bad news, I will be out of town next Friday and unable to post as scheduled. The only consolation I can offer is that THE kiss will take place in chapter 14, so hopefully knowing that will tide you over until then. Feel free to indulge me with any of your speculation on how that's gonna go down and what the reaction will be. You can find me playing in Bambi's Beloveds group over on FB. Sometimes I post extra special teasers there.

Reviews are better than Dean watching you sleep.


	14. Smoke and Mirrors

A/N – Hope people didn't miss the story too much last week. I know you're all very anxious to read this chapter since it's all about THE kiss. I'd like to thank the usual suspects, Team Bean. I'd be lost without them. See you at the bottom!

This chapter is brought to you by The Afters' One Moment Away. Visuals are up on my profile as always.

* * *

_Are they gonna remember you from running away or saving the day from the darkness and letting your love shine through?_

**Chapter 14 - Smoke and Mirrors**

Once my lids were dusted with a shimmery gray shadow and lined with a dark charcoal, I hovered over the bathroom counter and leaned in as close as I could to the mirror to attempt to put on mascara without stabbing myself in the eye. Slowly, I backed up along the tile floor, my ankles slightly wobbly on the five inch heels. I let out an audible gasp when I noticed my reflection. Wearing makeup always made me feel like a fish out of water. No matter how many times Alice tried to get me to wear my hair differently or put on fancy clothes, it always felt so forced―so fake. Even getting ready for my own prom was a huge source of anxiety for me. I didn't really want to go, but Edward insisted, and I just tried to make the best of it. It didn't change the way I felt or how I held onto Edward's arm so tightly if he hadn't been a vampire, I was positive I would have broken the skin with my vice grip. Having the best looking guy at Forks High by my side didn't take away any of the panic I felt or the way everyone's stares and whispers burned my skin to a point where I felt it would just melt off.

The girl staring back at me wasn't someone I recognized, but she was someone I always wanted to be. A small smile played at my lips as I admired the way my loose waves cascaded down my bare back. My complexion was practically flawless thanks to the foundation I found at the drug store. The smooth skin and the perfect hair weren't what got me; it was the way my eyes looked. They didn't just pop from the eyeliner or eyeshadow. There was a spark that I had never noticed―I was alive and I felt it deep in my bones as it seeped from every pore.

After applying a coat of lip gloss, I did a quick turn in the mirror and realized my zipper was still undone. I craned my neck, arching my back, trying to zip myself up but the back of the dress dipped so low, I was having a hard time doing it by myself. A gentle knock tore me away from my frustration and I sighed in relief, knowing I'd have someone to help me, until I remembered what was standing on on the other side of that door. I took a deep calming breath. I could to this; the dress only made it easier to play the part. All I had to do was get Marshall into the room, and then Sam and Dean would exorcize the demon from him. It sounded like a piece of cake. I made my way across the floor, paying attention not to let my heels catch in the thick plush carpeting. I slowly opened the door, keeping my head down, too shy to meet Dean's eyes while wearing the dress. I'd have plenty of time to compose myself before we got to the ballroom. I just needed to leave my insecurities at the door. I wasn't the Bella from before. So much had changed in the past two months, and it was time to show off the backbone the Winchesters had returned to me.

"Bella...wow..." He let out a loud breath, searching for words.

I looked up, my own eyes widening as I saw Sam standing in front of me. "Sam?"

His cheeks started to turn a bright red as he shook his head at my transformation, his shaggy hair flopping around. "You look..."

"Ridiculous?" I raised an eye brow as I looked down and took in my own appearance, suddenly second guessing my new found confidence.

What the hell was I thinking? No matter how soft and smooth the dress was against my skin, I still knew it was there, and I knew I was only acting. This wasn't me and no matter how much I wanted it to be.

"I was going to say beautiful." Sam's voice was soft as his smile worked to build my fleeting confidence.

I shouldn't have been disappointed at seeing the younger Winchester brother standing in front of me, but a sharp twinge strangled my heart when my mind raced through all the different possibilities of Dean trying to ditch me again.

"Where's Dean?"

"He sent me to come get you. He wanted to make sure there wouldn't be any surprises, so he's just scoping everything out."

I nodded, silently chastising myself for always assuming the worst. I liked to think Dean and I had a sort of break through last night. We hadn't admitted anything to one another, but at least now I knew it wasn't that he didn't want to get close to me, he was just afraid to. I flat out told him I wasn't going anywhere and it felt like maybe we had turned a corner.

"Could you...would you..." I bit my lip and turned around. "I need help with the zipper."

"Yeah." He let out a nervous laugh and I heard him swallow loudly. "Sure. No problem."

His fingers fumbled at my lower back, finally pulling the zipper closed and lingering just above my tailbone. I spun around, keeping my head down.

Clearing my throat, I finally met his eyes. He looked as awkward as I felt. Ever since he almost walked in on me in the bathroom, he had a hard time looking me in the eyes. My gaze followed the long column of the dress, wincing slightly as the slit exposed the pale skin of my leg, and stopped at the floor where my toes peeked out of way too high, peep-toe pumps.

"Do you mind helping me to the elevator? I'm terrified I'll fall on my face in these."

Sam smiled warmly at me, extending his hand. I took it and he gently tucked me into his side and led me to the elevator. Out of habit, I felt my shoulders slump forward as we waited for the doors to open. Sam put a hand on my shoulder and instinctively, I straightened my back. He let out a soft laugh.

"You have nothing to be nervous about. You look great. I'm sure Marshall will make it a point to find you tonight and then all you have to do is lead him to the conference room. I'll be there waiting and Dean will make sure he doesn't hurt you."

I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and side eyed him. Marshall was the least of my worries. I had seen the brothers in action enough to know they always got the job done.

"It's not that...I just feel..."

The bell sounded and the doors opened up, revealing an empty elevator. I took a few steps in and turned around to see Sam still standing. "You're not coming with me?"

"I still have a few more things to get together for the Devil's Trap."

The doors started to shut before I had a chance to protest. I squeezed my eyes shut, refusing to look in the mirrors that lined the elevator walls. I'd have enough eyes on me tonight. The ride to the lobby didn't take nearly as much time as I hoped it would. That was the funny thing about time; when you wanted it to speed up, it slowed to a snail's pace, and when you begged for that extra second, even if it was just enough time to catch your breath, it never seemed long enough. All I wanted was one more minute to put myself together. Dean was so rushed this morning, between phone calls with Bobby and getting all the supplies together, we didn't really have a chance to go over the role I was supposed to play. I was his date, but did that mean we had to act like a couple?

From what we had found out about Marshall, or rather Classyalabolas, he preferred to take women that belonged to someone else for his testing―more like torture. Apparently it was part of his MO. Along with loving his fair share of blood and guts, he also loved toying with the victims minds, especially the ones that loved each other. Another freaky demon power as Sam liked to call it. Classyalabolas had the ability to actually get into the minds of people that were in love. Once he was in there, he could plant all sorts of seeds of doubt and screw with the connection, most of the time inciting homicide. He loved it all: the gore, the rage, the look of shock on the victim's face once they realized they had killed the love of their life.

In recent years, scientists had taken an interest in what love did to the brain, and I couldn't help but wonder if Marshall may have been a part of that. Thanks to his unique testing on the suicide victims, we knew his virus for the benefit had been perfected. We were banking on the fact that he loved the psychological thrill almost as much as the massacre. If I pushed enough of his buttons, put on a good enough show, he'd want one more "appetizer" before enjoying the main course. Even if I successfully tricked him into following me into that room, Dean and I would still be safe because whatever our feelings were for one another...Dean had never been in love, and I wouldn't let myself fall in love again.

The safety net I was counting on was quickly and violently yanked away when the elevator doors opened to reveal Dean. The lines of the tuxedo accentuated his strong body, the jacket fitting perfectly over his broad shoulders and muscular chest. I smiled slightly when I caught sight of the bow tie. He looked very James Bond and he almost fit the part with his gelled, styled hair, if it weren't for the uncomfortable grimace he wore on his face. The minute his devastatingly hazel green eyes fell on mine, his lips parted and his tongue snaked out, quickly licking his bottom lip. I felt like the air was knocked out of me. I sucked in a sharp breath as his gaze followed the curves of the dress. The intensity of his stare, combined with the way his eyes raked over my body, like tiny licks of flame dancing across my skin, I was left dumbfounded. It wasn't until he spoke my name and closed the space between us, extending his hand to help me out of the elevator, that I realized I had stopped breathing. I took a long careful stride in his direction, and his eyes darted to the bare leg that poked out from the slit in the dress. A rush of heat covered my skin, trailing up as his eyes bore into the exposed flesh. I took his hand and he grasped it tightly.

He turned to face me, awe and wonder working its way on his features. I crinkled my nose wondering what he was looking at.

"Bella, you look..."

I laughed under my breath, quirking a small smile. "Alright. Get it out..I look ridiculous!"

He spun me into his chest, staring intently at my lips. "Definitely not the word I'd use."

The distinct taste of copper had filled my mouth, and I realized I had been chewing on my lip so hard I broke through the skin. Dean released my hand, only to bring his to my face, brushing past my lip and gently tugging it out of my mouth. His hand followed the apple of my cheek, working its way through my loose curls, and tucking a stray strand behind my ear.

"I was thinking more along the lines of beautiful. You look beautiful, Bella."

My cheeks immediately started to redden and I looked away from him, focusing on the freshly polished marble floor. I felt his callused fingertips underneath my chin as he gently lifted my face so our eyes would meet.

"Don't hide your blush. That's beautiful too."

I smiled softly and took his hand in my own again. "Thanks, Dean. You don't look too bad yourself."

His eyes narrowed in a playful manner. "Don't objectify me."

And just like that the heaviness in my heart seemed to melt away and dissipate into the air around us. I let out a laugh, feeling safe and confident with Dean by my side. He led us straight to the bar and ordered himself a martini. I couldn't contain my laughter when he said, "Shaken, not stirred," in the most ridiculous British accent I had ever heard. The night almost went off without a hitch until he raised an eyebrow at me when I ordered a gin and tonic.

"Shouldn't you stick to a Shirley Temple, sweetheart?"

I glowered at him and leaned in to speak. My voice was harsh as I whispered the words forcefully. "That's rich coming from the guy that has no problem giving an underage girl a beer."

Dean seemed a bit taken back from my tone and pursed his lips in a cocky manner. "I guess I was just expecting you to order something a little more fruity. Most girls like daiquiris, right?" He shrugged, trying to brush it off and smooth things over with me.

The bartender pushed our drinks toward Dean and he gave him a nod before picking them up and handing me my drink.

I was still bristled by his assumptions and mumbled under my breath. "Well, I'm not most girls."

Forcing a smile, I made a show of taking a long sip from the straw. I tried to mask the sour face I wanted to give when my taste buds were assaulted with the taste of pine needles. In all honesty, I had no idea what I had ordered. Sometimes Charlie would drink a gin and tonic on special occasions or after an especially rough shift, so I assumed it was the thing to do.

His eyes danced with silent laughter as he gave me a crooked smirk. "I'm beginning to see that."

I was halfway through my second drink when Dean nodded toward the stage. Marshall was standing in the wings flanked by two other men with fierce, menacing looks on their faces as they eyed the crowd. Squinting, I tried to make out their faces, and I could have sworn their eyes had been pitch black for a brief moment. I was probably just seeing things. Besides the warmth spreading throughout my body, things weren't as focused and I felt slightly dizzy. I was definitely starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. After I had finished the first one, the second one seemed to go down a lot easier.

Dean glared at the stage, focusing on the men in the suits. "There's our guy. I think he brought friends."

"Friends...as in...other demons?"

Dean tossed back the rest of his martini and firmly placed it back on the bar. "This is going to make getting him alone a lot harder than we thought."

"Well..." I smiled confidently, the booze flowing through my system giving me that extra courage I needed. "I guess we'll just have to give him a show he won't be able to resist."

I took his hand and led him to the dance floor. There were a few other couples dancing, and I caught Marshall watching them closely, a mischievous grin playing on his lips.

"Bella, I don't..."

I squeezed his hand tighter. "Look, I don't dance either..." I lifted my leg slightly to show off the heels I was wearing "...especially in a death trap like these, but if we're going to grab his attention, now's the time to do it."

Dean guided me into his chest and wrapped his other arm around my waist, resting a hand on the bare skin at the small of my back. I couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or being that close to him that caused my skin to feel hot to the touch. I let out a deep breath as his feet started to move slowly in rhythm with the delicate violin strings that filled the air. Trying to follow his lead, I kept miss-stepping and he pulled me into him tighter.

"Just relax," he whispered into my hair.

I felt cool air tickle my neck as he let out a long exhale. Crushed against his body, I seemed to find the same rhythm and didn't falter once, until the soft voice accompanying the music hit me. We were so close I could feel the rise and fall of his chest as my body pressed against him. It was like he was answering the singer's pleas, and my own, when the deep, soothing voice around us sang, "I want to feel you. I need to hear you."

The words of the song affected me, bringing me back to the moment and forcing my feelings to the front of my mind, the delicate crooning of the male singer asking how I could stand there and not be moved, how it could be any better than this. The music started to pick up, louder and faster. Pulling away slightly, I searched Dean's face as the song continued. His eyes bore into mine, causing my heart to beat furiously. The pounding of my heart and the frantic tempo of the song made me feel like I was spinning, the only thing keeping me on the ground were Dean's arms around me and the way he looked at me, eyes blazing with emotion.

The chorus of the song continued to repeat, the words and music forcing me closer and closer. Before I had a chance to chicken out, my mouth found his, soft and pillowy against my own. Our eyes remained open, staring at each other in shock, gauging the other's reaction. He didn't pull away so I pressed my lips harder against his, winding my hand around his neck and pulling myself closer so nothing, not even air, was between us. Dean's lips started to move, demanding and greedy, commanding me to let him in. Closing my eyes, I opened my mouth, a moan escaping me when I felt his tongue. My breath hitched and I was getting worked up, my senses awakening.

The song finally ended and we pulled away slowly. His eyes never left mine as the last notes of the song filled the air.

_'You're all I want. You're all I need. You're everything.' _

The words of the song had lingered in Dean's mind long after it had ended. I tried to shy away, walk back toward the bar but Dean grabbed my hand, pulling me back to him. He put a protective arm around me as we made our way to Marshall who was minutes away from speaking to the crowd. Marshall's steely blue eyes found my face. Instead of being filled with mischief, his face was draped in pure evil, and I knew I had put on the performance of a life time...except I wasn't sure I was acting anymore.

We stood in front of Marshall, his guards making it almost impossible to get to him. He waved them out of the way and took a few steps down the stage to meet us. Extending his hand for my own, I nervously let him take it. He brought it to his mouth and placed a kiss on it that made my skin feel like a million tiny bugs were scurrying across the surface. My gut made me recoil and Dean gave me a worried look. I tried to play it off as being shy and looked down as Dean introduced himself.

"Dr. Dorian." Dean leaned into the handshake and squeezed Marshall's hand.

He must have squeezed it a little too tightly for Marshall's liking because a look of utter disgust flashed across his face as he yanked his hand back. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm a huge fan of your work, sir. I was wondering if you had time to discuss..."

I smiled wryly, catching Dean's literary reference to the famous man that sold his soul so he wouldn't age. "Oh you don't have to lie for me. The truth is I'm the fan. I've been obsessed with your work since what seems like...forever." I added a little eyelash batting for good measure. "The fact that you're so young and made such progress is remarkable. I'm an aspiring researcher myself, and I'd love a chance to get in your brain."

Dean's lips tightened together as he tried to hide his smirk. I widened my eyes, trying to appear as innocent as possible. I knew I was playing with fire, but Dean's snark was starting to wear off on me, and I just couldn't resist the dig to the good doctor.

_'She's feisty and absolutely delectable. I'm sure I'll have fun with this one.' _He turned to Dean giving him a challenging smirk and then back to me. I swallowed thickly, his silent words leaving my mouth dry.

"For someone as pretty and bright as you, I'm sure that can be arranged." He reached out his hand and I pushed down the disgust and took a hold of it. "Shall we go somewhere more private?"

I looked over my shoulder, trying to mask my uneasiness with a small smile. Any sign of worry and I knew Dean would follow us in a heartbeat, which would make him a target as well. I couldn't let him endanger himself or risk the plan falling through. His eyes begged me to ask him to come with us.

Gulping, I cleared my throat. "Honey, I think I left my purse in the hotel room. Would you mind checking for me?" It was my way of telling him I'd be okay.

Dean gave me a skeptical look. "You don't really need it, do you? You know how much I love discussing..."

His need to be there to protect me tugged at my heart, but I cut him off with a stern look. "Yeah, I do. It's that time of month so..."

I turned to face Marshall and utter delight danced across his face. His pale blue eyes darkened, and he took on a truly wicked appearance. Gone was the charming man resembling a viking god and in his place was someone very evil. Maybe he mistook Dean's protectiveness as something else, like the jealous boyfriend unwilling to let his date out of his sight. Whatever he found in our interaction worked to our favor. I was going to get him in the room without him ever suspecting a thing.

"Ready?"

I took small delicate steps toward the conference room, offering Marshall contrived smiles and exaggerated laughs. The whole time I could feel Dean's eyes on me with an intensity that tied my stomach into knots.

We were almost to the door and so close to ending this thing, I could almost feel the stress rolling off me in waves. One more step and it would be over. I moved to twist the door knob, but Marshall stilled my hand, taking it into both of his.

"Your boyfriend is just completely enamored with you. More than willing to just walk right into his own death for you, hmmm?" He moved his hand to my face and I shuddered at his touch.

I backed away and pushed the door open. "Oh, I don't think he's quite there yet. We've only just started..." Taking a few steps into the room, praying he would follow, I could feel the blood rushing to my ears and swayed slightly on my feet. I reached for the wall trying to recover my balance.

Marshall entered the room behind me, the doors slamming shut with a wave of his hand. My eyes widened. "How did you...what are you..."

The sound of the doors shutting alerted Dean to the first sign of trouble.

"Bella!" I heard his muffled, frantic voice through the heavy doors. Pounding fists and a bit of scuffling was followed by Dean yelling, "Get your hands off of me."

Marshall smiled widely, baring his teeth that could easily tear into my flesh. His tongue ran across the tops, just waiting lick my bones clean. "See what I mean?"

"Just let him go. I won't put up a fight." I looked behind me, noticing the Persian rug in the center of the floor that Sam told me about. I backed up, trying to lure Marshall to the circle hidden underneath.

"It's just so sweet. The way you two want to sacrifice yourself for one another. I haven't seen this kind of love in quite some time. You really will be the most delicious appetizer. I can't wait to lick his blood of your hands and then get my fill of you."

He lunged forward at me but I was already in the circle. The minute he grabbed my shoulder, I reared back which caused me to stumble to the ground. Marshall took a crouching stance and proceeded to advance, like a mountain lion stalking its prey. I inched my way back on my hands and when he tried to follow, he hissed.

"What is this?" he demanded.

I righted myself and kicked the rug up with my heel. "Devil's Trap."

The doors burst open, revealing Sam and Dean and an empty ballroom, save for the lifeless bodies of Marshall's men lying on the floor.

Dean stalked toward Marshall and grinned. "Hey, Marshall...or do you prefer Classyalabolas?"

Marshall snickered. "So you're hunters?"

Dean folded his arms over his chest and cockily pursed his lips. "Born and bred."

Clicking his tongue against his teeth, Marshall admonished him. "Then you have no business feeling..." His eyes lit up, gleaming with excitement as he clapped his hands together. "It's only going to end in bloodshed."

Dean whipped out a silver flask and flicked it toward Marshall. Water sprayed out and the demon cowered on the floor. "You know why they named that movie, 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'? Because no one cares what you think." He turned to Sam and nodded. "Do it, Sammy."

Sam started reciting something that sounded a lot like Latin. The demon's face contorted into pain as he growled and snarled. "Hunters have one fate. Love and a white picket fence isn't one of them," the demon cried through clenched teeth. "Just ask dear old dad." A wicked smile appeared on his face.

Sam circled the demon, continuing the exorcism, and I bolted straight for Dean's arms. I didn't care what the demon was saying. All that mattered was feeling Dean's arms around me, relishing in the warmth of his breath and the softness of his words when he told me everything was going to be okay. He looked down at me, his hand sliding over my collarbone, up my neck until he cupped my cheek tenderly. I stared into his eyes, knowing I was no longer putting on a show for the demon. I reached out my own hand, stroking the line of his strong jaw, the stubble scratching my fingers and sending prickles up and down my spine.

I wanted to kiss him again but I felt the need to reassure him that the demon was wrong. "Dean, what the demon said..."

He pulled his face away, disgust shadowing his features. I dropped my hand, feeling rejected. "Demons lie, Bella." He turned away, refusing to meet my imploring stare. I had so much I wanted to say, but he was just shutting down.

Just as I was about to question him, needing him to explain what the demon lied about―his fate or our feelings―the sound of a body falling to the ground echoed through the room and startled me. Sam turned to face us as Marshall's body lay on the ground.

I covered my mouth with a hand. I had never been in the same room as a dead body before. "Is he..."

Sam tucked the book back into his jacket and walked over to us. "No. He and his men will probably be out of it for awhile, but once they wake up they should be back to themselves, pre-possession."

"So Marshall will think it's 1976?" Looking at his lifeless body, I felt bad for the guy. He'd have no idea of what had happened. For all he knew, Dr. McDade was still alive and he was just filling in for him temporarily.

Dean chuckled, glancing at me with a mischievous light in his eyes. "Aw, cheer up, sweetheart. He won't have it that bad. Imagine his face when he discovers the internet and all that easily accessible porn!"

* * *

E/N – If you're wondering about the song that I alluded to while Bella and Dean were dancing, it's called, "Everything" by Lifehouse. I think you can probably guess where the title of the story came from now.

Quick apology to the straggler reviewers from last week's chapter. I'm sorry I didn't get a reply with a teaser back to you. Things got hectic when I returned from my trip and I figured you wanted the chapter instead of a reply. I'll make it up to you I promise!

I have a quick rec for my readers. A very good friend of mine, DarknNerdy has ventured into the Boondock Saints fandom with a new story. Even if you haven't seen the movie, you need to read the story. It is so good! It's called "Heavy Souls" and can be found in my favorites. Please show her some love. I have a surprise for you if you do. Yes, I'm not above bribing.

Reviews are better than Dean kissing you. *breaks out laughing* Who am I kidding? Nothing is better than that, but I'm sure you have a lot to say about the kiss so come talk to me, yeah?


	15. Pieces

**A/N** – So the kiss was a hit! There's some more UST coming your way, so I hope you're feeling up to it. Time moves rather quickly in the second half of this. Buckle your seatbelts. It's gonna get bumpy. Team Bean rocks my socks. Little lemon drops and cheesy 80s music warning.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for this nasty crack cough I'm battling at the moment.

Visuals are on my profile. This chapter is brought to you by "Pieces" by Red.

* * *

_Then I see your face. I know I'm finally yours. I find everything I thought I lost before. You call my name. I come to you in pieces, so you can make me whole. _

**Chapter 15 - Pieces**

Once Sam's steady breathing and sporadic snoring filled the small space of the Impala, I decided it was safe to chance a glance at Dean. His eyes remained plastered on the unlit highway in front of us. The occasional flash of headlights from the opposite direction illuminated the car and stopped my heart. No longer hidden by the night, Dean wore a scowl, his hands squeezing the steering wheel, and his eyes dark and angry.

_So that's how he wants to play this_, I thought bitterly. I knew Dean well enough to know he would try and brush off me and the kiss like it was nothing, no matter how hard I tried to convince him otherwise, but his anger surprised me. What did he have to be angry about?

We had left the hotel so abruptly, I barely had time to change into comfortable clothes. Luckily, I had packed before the big showdown with Marshall but in a nervous fit, everything made it into the bag, including my jeans and the clean shirt I planned to wear. I sighed out of frustration because I didn't want to spend what little time I had to myself trying to dig something out. Kneeling on my knees and unzipping my bag, my eyes caught a dark lump under the bed. Tentatively, I reached a hand out, fingers carefully crawling under the bed trying to grab something just out of reach. After spending enough time with the Winchesters, I should have been leery of what might be waiting for me under the bed. I had just helped the brothers take down a powerful demon, whatever was under the bed couldn't be worse than that. Even though the possibility of monsters living under beds was very real, I decided to take my chances. I lay down on my stomach, inching as close to the bed frame as I could get, and stuck my whole arm under the bed.

_Please don't bite it off, _I silently prayed. Blindly reaching my hand around, I searched the floor and grabbed a hold of something soft but heavy. When I pulled it out from under the bed, I smiled recognizing Dean's dark blue button down. _I bet he would have missed this_, I thought. It wasn't like he had a huge reserve of clothes. I think maybe I saw him wear one other button down that was a lighter green. He had one or two pairs of jeans (one that was much more worn with a few rips on the thigh and knee), a few dark t-shirts, and some long sleeved thermal Henley shirts. He and Sam pretty much wore the same thing all the time. I did notice where Dean favored dark, muted clothing, Sam opted for brighter colors and prints. Sam wore a lot of plaid which I couldn't help but laugh at. Considering he was once hoping for a career in law, his wardrobe choice was comical. He was a cross between a lumberjack and a male model with perfect bone structure and shaggy hair. Honestly, his love for plaid rivaled Charlie's.

Since the shirt was there and I secretly wanted to feel closer to Dean, knowing it would probably be a few days before he warmed up to me again, I stripped out of the dress and put on the button down. I was swimming in the shirt, so I rolled up the sleeves a bit. His smell was all around me, gunpowder- whiskey sweet, and I relished in the feel of the heavy fabric against my bare skin. My nipples hardened as the rough material brushed over my breasts, and I instantly imagined Dean's calloused fingers twisting and tweaking. I felt heat and a rush of moisture pool between my legs. My skin was a live wire, the slightest breeze or touch would set me alight. A pair of black leggings rest at the very top of my bag, and since there was a long car ride ahead of me, I decided I'd be much more comfortable wearing those instead of a pair of jeans that would rub and cause the friction I craved and dreaded all at the same time.

Sam and Dean were already ready and waiting for me outside. I was a little surprised when neither of them insisted they accompany me to the room. The fact that Dean was more than willing to oblige stung more than the holy water that made the demon's skin sizzle. Sam had suggested they give me a little time to myself, even if it was just to wrap my mind around things. Apparently exorcising a demon wasn't a normal every day occurrence and I may need a few calming breaths to put things into perspective. Once Sam assured me that Marshall and his men weren't dead and their lives would return to some semblance of normalcy, I was fine with what went down. I knew what I had signed up for, and I also knew that we couldn't save everyone. Everything went pretty smoothly; we saved all those people, and probably a lot more now that Cassyalabolas was out of commission. I was more than happy with the outcome. When Sam suggested I take a few minutes, I gave in...not because I needed it, but because Sam was only looking out for me and my mental state. Little did he know, I had witnessed a lot worse. Even though I was semi-unconscious after James had bitten me, I still heard his screams of pain as Alice tore his head from his body. The memory of the heat from the fire Jasper and Emmett lit for his body still burned my skin..

The elevator doors opened on the lower level to the garage, and I could see the Impala parked right at the far corner. Dean was leaning against the passenger door, beer in his hand and cooler at his feet. Sam shut the trunk and gave me a smile as he walked around to the front of the car, bending down to grab his own beverage. Dean's eyes remained on me as he wrapped his mouth around the bottle, taking a long, calculated sip as I approached the car. Sam started to open a beer and made his way over to me.

"You alright?" Sam asked as he handed me a beer.

"Yeah, thanks. You were right..." I looked over at Dean and felt the hairs on the back of my neck raise as his eyes remained on me the whole time. Turning back to Sam, I continued, "I needed those few minutes...to get myself together."

Dean pulled the bottle away from his mouth, his lips lingering slightly over the rim before his eyes scanned my body. "Nice shirt ya got there, sweetheart."

I gripped the bottle tightly in my hand as his nostrils flared and he narrowed his eyes. Once his gaze reached my feet and my scuffed up Chucks, I finally felt like I could breathe.

"Yeah, well, someone carelessly discarded it and left it under the bed like old burger wrappers, so I like to think I saved it from a fate of dirty dumpsters." I couldn't help the transference of my emotions onto the poor unsuspecting shirt.

After we had all finished our beers, we piled into the car. Sam had tried to make small talk but when neither Dean nor I refused to show any interest, he had decided to try and get some sleep. His head was propped up against the glass of the window, and it hadn't taken very long for him to fall asleep.

Minutes or hours passed; I wasn't keeping track. Silence had a way of altering time. I kept my eyes trained on the rear view mirror, waiting for Dean to make eye-contact, but he just continued to drive.

"So we're not gonna talk about this?"

"Nope." He drew out his one word answer, and I let out a loud huff.

"I really think..."

His eyes snapped to the mirror so he could look at me. "There's nothing to talk about, Bella. You played a part and you did it well. End of story. You want me to pull a Sammy and tell you how great you were and how you were born for this?" He eyed his brother before turning around briefly to face me. "You're gonna have to wait a few hours for that. He's pretty out of it."

A snore broke through the air and Dean turned back to the road. He reached over to the stereo and turned it up. Overdone harmony filtered through the speakers.

"_It was the heat of the moment telling me what my heart meant. The heat of the moment showed in your eyes." _

Dean quickly fumbled with the control looking for another station. Loud guitar notes filled the air followed by a crunchy bass riff.

"_I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning for you..."_

He let out a scoff and the corners of my lips started to twitch. Leave it to cheesy eighties songs to have a perfect grasp on our situation. I pushed my back into the seat, trying to make myself comfortable. It was going to be a long ride with him ignoring me. He pressed another button, changing the station yet again.

Another cliché monster ballad came on the radio, accompanied by some stellar keyboard work and the crescendo of Kevin Cronin's voice.

"_And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might. And I can't fight this feeling anymore. I've forgotten what I started fighting for..."_

Dean abruptly cut off the music by slamming his fist into the stereo, effectively silencing it. Sam had been nagging him for the past couple of days to update the old tape deck to something that he could plug an iPod into, a CD player at the very least. Of course Dean refused, unwilling to alter anything on his precious baby. I guess now he didn't have a choice.

"Hey." I laughed slightly. "I know REO Speedwagon isn't a powerhouse like Zeppelin, but they were pretty successful in their own right."

Dean shook his head incredulously, letting out a loud huff. "You did not just compare the Gods of Rock to some band that's named after a delivery truck."

He continued to glare at me in the mirror, but I just continued to smile. It was pretty funny and almost as if divine intervention was choosing the soundtrack for our current road trip.

"Okay...since music is out of the question, and I really don't feel like driving in silence for the next few hours, I'm just going to throw this out there...I wasn't just playing a part. That kiss was..."

"A mistake," he deadpanned, never tearing his eyes away from me.

And there it was...the brush off.

"No!" I cried, filled with hurt and tears threatening to spill. "I wanted to kiss you. I've never wanted anything..." I looked down, knowing the dangerous line I was walking. There was something I thought I had wanted more than anything...but not anymore.

_'You think I haven't thought about kissing you? How the hell do you think I feel every night when I hold you close? To know what your lips feel like, what you taste like...'_

He let out an exasperated sigh. "You don't know what you're talking about, Bella."

I inched forward on the seat and leaned in between the front seat, my face brushing against his shoulder. "Yes I do. You think about it just as much as I do."

"Thinking about it isn't going to change a thing." He turned to face me, our heads almost touching. "You and me...it's not gonna work, so let's just forget about that kiss, alright?"

His face wore a steely expression but his eyes told another story. It was hurting him, pushing me away. I would never understand the whole point in self-sacrifice if it only hurt the person you were trying protect. There was no reason for two hearts to bleed. When would people realize that?

"Is this about what the demon said? You're afraid you're gonna hurt me..."

_'Maybe I'm a little afraid that you're gonna hurt me too, sweetheart.'_

His sudden vulnerability caught me off guard and I began to stutter. "...that being with me will...will jeopardize my safety...that you won't get..."

"Just stop. You heard what the demon said. Hunters don't get that apple pie kinda life. It's a pipe dream. This life takes away everyone you care about."

"Demons lie," I repeated his own words firmly.

"Yeah, but that one told the truth."

I pulled away and sat back in my seat, the weight of his words effectively pinning me down. If Dean thought the demon was telling the truth, maybe Cassyalabolas' observations about Dean's feelings were also true. His admission kept me silent for the rest of the ride. There were still quite a few hours left before dawn when we pulled into another motel. Dean had been up all night and driving straight through without any stops didn't help. I knew he needed rest, and I was pretty beat myself.

Sam got out of the car looking refreshed and feeling like a new man. Dean and I, on the other hand, looked haggard and stressed. Our dashboard confessionals only made it worse. Since Sam wasn't tired, he opted to sit in the small lazy boy in front of the television. Dean threw himself down on one bed, sprawling out in the middle. I took that as his way of telling me I'd be sleeping in my own bed for the rest of the night. It was only a few hours. I was sure I could handle sleeping alone for that long. Besides, it wasn't like he wouldn't be right there...he just wouldn't be right next to me, holding me, melting into me. Just thinking about it was almost enough to stay awake so I wouldn't have to face the sentence of being without him.

~o~

_I drifted off to sleep while all too familiar words filled my head. _

_The voice wasn't velvety smooth as I remembered. It was gruff and strained._

"_You just don't belong in my world."_

_The pain washed over me, chilling my skin and setting deep in my bones. I lifted my eyes from the ground and was slightly startled when tortured greenish-hazel eyes looked back at me. Dean's jaw was set in a hard line as he tried to maintain his composure._

_I rolled back on my heels, taking a deep breath. "I...I...belong with you."_

"_No..." He swallowed thickly, his eyes filling with even more pain as he gritted out the words "...you don't."_

I kept telling myself to wake up, refusing to relive my past with Dean instead of Edward. The sheets of the bed wrapped around me, squeezing me and trapping me in the horrible nightmare. Thrashing from side to side, trying to free myself from the prison of my mind, I felt a blanket of warm air cover my body, soothing the pain. An odd tingling sensation started underneath my chin and up my cheek, stopping behind my ear.

My eyes snapped open to see Dean standing over me, his eyes bright with worry as he tucked my hair behind my ear.

"You're here," I wheezed between breaths as my heart rate slowly returned to a steady rhythm.

Dean bent down and pressed his lips to my forehead. "Go back to sleep."

I shook my head, propping myself up on my elbows. "I can't."

"Don't worry." He placed a hand on my shoulder and gently guided me back down on the bed. "I won't let you have another nightmare."

I pushed back against his palm and sat up, running a hand through my hair. Looking around the small motel room, I noticed Sam wasn't around. "I can't pretend anymore. I don't want to."

Tucking my legs underneath myself, I inched forward; Dean remained perfectly still, frozen in the moment. Lifting up on my knees, I curled my hand around his neck, feeling the short hair tickling between my fingers as I pulled him into me. My hand dragged across his jaw, hovering over his cheek. Butterflies started to flutter their wings deep in my belly, creating a whirlwind of excitement and nausea. I bit back my nerves and leaned forward, pressing my nose against his. Our heads moved in unison as we shared the same breaths, getting dangerously closer with each passing second. I placed a soft kiss on his full bottom lip then another at the corner of his mouth. His lips started to move on their own accord, sucking my lip into his mouth, gently massaging it with his tongue. I wrapped my other hand around him, pushing my body against his, hoping to ease the ache between my legs.

My mouth opened, granting him access, his tongue demanding and teasing. A moan fell from my lips as I tasted him, urging him on and causing his mouth to move faster against my own. Hungry eyes and devouring lips, he grabbed me by my butt, lifting me slightly and pushing me down on my back.

His fingers digging into me seared my skin and caused my whole body to flush. He placed a knee between my legs as he climbed on top of me, his lips never leaving mine. Sure hands trailed up and down my torso, sending shivers through me, tiny goosebumps popping up everywhere he touched me. He moved his lips to my ear and then neck, placing wet, ferocious kisses along the column, causing me to arch my back. Grinding his body into mine, pushing me deeper into the mattress, his hand reached up and squeezed my breast. I let out a gasp and my eyes shot open. He immediately tore his hand away from me, lifting himself off my body and hovering over me.

"What are we doing?" Dean's voice was full of shame as he shook his head at our actions.

Sure he was going to push me away again, just like Edward always had, I made a rash decision. I dug deep to find the courage I needed, mostly guided by raging hormones, and pulled him back down to me, trailing kisses along his jaw. "What we both want," I whimpered.

He yanked his head away, eyes boring into my own, challenging me. "You sure you want to go down this road, sweetheart?"

Despite the way he looked at me, his eyes making me question myself, I answered firmly. "Yes."

He leaned down and captured my lips with his. Between our kissing, which only left me wanting more, and his hardness pressing into me, visions of him and me together flashed through my head in rapid fire.

_His bare chest as he leaned down on top of me in the backseat of the Impala._

_My back pressed up against the tile wall of the shower stall, a heavy stream of water cascading and ricocheting off his back as he thrust in and out of me._

_The contrast of my pale, naked body sprawled across the deep red of the bed in the honeymoon suite as he placed a kiss on my hip bone, working his way to the center of my legs._

_The elevator doors opening, revealing me in the black dress._

As Dean's fantasies clouded my mind, my own started to fight their way to the surface. I remembered how I imagined taking him in the front seat of the Impala. Using my memory as a road map, I wove my hands in between our bodies and started to unbuckle his belt. My diligent fingers found their way to the waistband as I attempted to unbutton his jeans.

He stilled my hand and pulled away slowly. His face was slightly flushed and his lips were swollen. Smiling a half smile he said, "Not tonight, sweetheart."

Hurt spread over my chest and settled in my eyes. "You don't..."

Righting himself so he sat next to me, he took my hand in his and helped me up. "You _know_ I want to."

He gently tapped his fingers along my temple and smirked. I looked down, feeling bad about intruding on his thoughts. Technically, since I was involved in them, it wasn't really like I was intruding. The Cullens always took precautions, thinking about something else on purpose when they were trying to hide something from Edward. If Dean didn't want me to see those things, he would have tried to block his thoughts.

Dean's fingertips tucked under my chin, tilting my head toward him. "Don't over think this."

I started to chew on my bottom lip, thinking about all the times I could hear and see Dean. They all involved me. "I'm not. I just..." I let out a long breath, shaking my head at the ridiculously self-absorbed notion that I could only read minds if they were thinking about me

He ran a hand through my hair, the pad of his thumb brushing across my kiss-stung lips. "This thing we've got going on...I've never done this before. I'm not saying I can't. I just don't know how. Give me time. Okay, beautiful?"

~o~

Three states in a little less than two months, stopping Bloody Mary from killing people hiding secrets, playing exterminator when real estate developers decided to build brand new homes on land cursed by an Indian tribe, and ending the annual human sacrifices to Vanir, a Norse god in the form of one fugly scarecrow, but we were no closer to finding Yellow Eyes. Eve still hadn't manifested and I was starting to think maybe she wouldn't. She had to have known the longer I was with the Winchesters the harder it would be to sway me into open Lucifer's cage. Whatever happened to striking while the iron was hot? The blood in my veins froze like ice when I realized she may be just waiting for the right moment.

A new year had started and with it came my New Year's resolution. I wasn't going to pressure Dean to share his feelings. I didn't need it as much as I needed him. He was always there―keeping me safe, comforting me, and loving me in his own way. I knew I was falling in love with him, the holes in my heart almost non-existent as they started to fill with memories of him and Sam. I resigned myself to the fact that Dean needed time to wrap his mind around his emotion, which probably wasn't the easiest thing for someone like him. I decided to just let it be.

The way he and Sam started to trust my instincts more, letting me take the lead on some of our hunts gave me the confidence I needed. I wasn't a sidekick; I was a part of their team. There were times they argued with me about my protection, but that was more in a worried brother and sorta boyfriend kind of way instead of questioning my abilities. I was part of their family, and I didn't have to change anything about me.

We had our awkward moments, like Sam walking into our motel room to find me pressed up against the wall as Dean ravaged me with his mouth. Sam just shook his head and mumbled something about it taking us long enough before walking out the room and closing the door behind him. There was the time Dean and I looked on like spectators at a football game, cheering as Sam kissed Sarah, one of the women we had encountered in our travels, goodbye. Unfortunately for me, one morning I woke up before both the brothers and in an attempt to do something nice, I decided to make breakfast in our small kitchen. As I walked past Sam's bed, I noticed Sammy Jr. standing at full attention through the thin sheet. There wasn't enough brain bleach in the world to get rid of that image, but I wouldn't have changed our situation at all. Despite Dean's little freak out when he eyed a box of tampons on the counter top of the bathroom, they both seemed more than happy to have me around.

The springs of the ratty mattress in the hunting themed motel room creaked in protest of the added weight. It obviously wasn't meant for two people, and the eyes of the buck mounted on the wall above me looked like they were judging me. I turned back to Dean, hoping to rid myself of the dead animal's creepy stare.

"Wanna try again?" Dean smiled cockily, his eyes twinkling in mischief.

I had him pinned underneath me, my shirt discarded on the floor, wearing only a black lace bra and a pair of skinny jeans. Leaning down, I placed a kiss on his lips, successfully wiping that smug grin off his face. He had caught me coming out of the shower and distracted me in the middle of getting dressed.

"We don't have enough time. Sam's going to be back any minute." I smiled against his mouth, soaking up all the kisses I could get before Sam returned from the library.

"I'll do something easy... What am I thinking about now?"

I tried to listen to his thoughts but I was only met with static. "Breasts," I answered flatly.

He smiled widely showing his teeth. "Nope."

I thrust my chest into his face and sucked my lower lip into my mouth, trying to look as innocent as possible. "How about now?"

He growled something that sounded like, "Not fair," before sitting up and flipping me over on my back. Bending down, he placed little nips along my neck, the scruff on his face scratching my bare chest. I burst out in giggles as he tickled me below my rib cage. My laughter masked the sound of the door opening.

"Hey, guys...oh...God!" Dean and I both turned our head to the door to see Sam shielding his eyes.

"Sammy!" Dean shouted as I gripped the edge of the blanket to my chest.

Sam backed up toward the door. "I'm going, I'm going...just make sure Bella has clothes on when I get back."

Once the door had shut, I reached over and picked up my t-shirt and pulled it on over my head. Dean's Adam's apple bobbed as he watched me smooth out the wrinkles, my hands unconsciously passing over my breasts. He came up behind me, wrapping his large hands around the sliver of skin exposed on my abdomen.

Leaning his head on my shoulder, his hot breath tickling my ear, he whispered, "For the record, I was thinking about cheeseburgers."

~o~

It was one of those nights when the tension between Dean and me was enough to suffocate. Despite trying to advance our physical relationship, Dean always managed to stop things before they went too far. I tossed and turned, kicking a leg out from under the sheet. Dean ran his hand up my bare thigh, stopping at my waist and trying to still me.

"I'm trying to sleep here, sweetheart."

I turned on my side to face him. "Trying being the operative word." My hand went under the blanket and crept up the leg of his boxer shorts.

I felt his abs tense the closer my hand got. "What are you doing, Bella?"

"Please, Dean? I'm ready. Please." My voice fell, anticipating his rejection.

"No. You're acting like a cat in heat." He grabbed me by the wrist and pulled it out from under the covers. "The fact that you're telling me you're ready shows me you're not. I'm not going to take your virginity in a seedy motel room with my brother sleeping in the bed next to us."

"This is about me being a virgin, isn't it? If I wasn't one, we'd already have done it. I _know_ you've been around, Dean."

Dean let out a huff and shook his head slightly, a menacing smile on his lips. "I'm not even going to ask how you know." He glared at his brother who was conveniently out cold at the moment. "Yeah, I've been around. So is it such a bad thing that I want to wait? That I want it to mean something for Christ's sake?"

I threw the covers off of me and sat up in the bed. "Do you have any idea how frustrated I am? All this kissing and heavy petting just leaves me wanting more. I feel like I'm going to combust!"

_'You don't think I have the worst case of blue balls?'_

"So do something about it!" I whisper cried, sounding more like a petulant child and less like the sexy seductress I was trying to be.

Dean narrowed his eyes at me. "Get outta my head!"

"I can't help it. You thought it at me!"

He leaned over me, dipping his head down so our foreheads touched. His eyes softened as he spoke. "I want to, Bella. Trust me...just...give me time." He brushed his lips against mine in a soft, chaste kiss before turning on his side and pulling me into him.

Wrapping his arms around me and resting his head in the crook of my neck, his steady breaths lulled me to sleep. My last waking thought was that I had all the time in the world.

* * *

**E/N** – How did you like them apples? We figured out how Bella's mind reading works and things are definitely heating up for Bella and Dean. About time right? Because let's face it, whats fanfic without a little smut?! I have a feeling maybe time isn't on their side. What do you think? I added a little hint in there about another character that will be making an appearance very soon. Any guesses?

Reviews are better than wearing Dean's shirt!

On a sad note, updates maybe less frequent. I'm not saying it's definite, but I wanted to give fair warning. Some major RL changes have taken place and while the majority of this story is written, I am finding less and less time to edit chapters. Have no fear, I will continue to update. I just can't guarantee that it will be weekly. What's that saying...good things come to those who wait? Well, I have lots and lots of good things coming up for these two, and I'm very excited to share it with you. Thanks for understanding, and I'm always around via PM and twitter to talk about it. :)


	16. Waging War

A/N – If you're in the mood for some lemonade, I think you'll like the lemon in this chapter. That's my way of warning you that the story is finally going to live up to that M rating. You've been warned. Team Bean for the win.

Disclaimer: Still don't own it, but I'll be owning season 7 on blu-ray in 4 days!

Visuals are on my profile, and this chapter is brought to you by Trading Yesterday's song "Shattered".

* * *

_Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart. Let me go and I will run. I will not be silent. All this time spent in vain, wasted years, wasted gain. All is lost, hope remains, and this war's not over._

**Chapter 16 – Waging War**

"Give me the pie, Bella." He tore his eyes away from the road and with one hand remaining on the wheel, he reached over to my lap with the other and tried to fish into the McDonald's bag.

I swatted his hand away and yanked the offending bag of fast food away. Lifting out the rectangular cardboard sleeve the sickeningly sweet smell of apples and sugar filled the air.

"This is not pie. I bet it's not even made with real apples but something engineered in a lab that they want you to think are apples."

"Well, beggars can't be choosers. The diners in this podunk town aren't open twenty-four-seven, and I distinctly remember someone's stomach growling while I was trying to sleep. Gotta get a handle on that, sweetheart. I thought a werewolf was in the motel room." He glanced over to me and I shot him a scowl which he returned with a cocky grin.

He snatched the pie out of my hand and stuffed the whole thing in his mouth. Small moans escaped his mouth as he widened his eyes and exaggerated his chewing, showing me how much he was enjoying it.

"One of these days, I'm gonna have to make you an apple pie..." his head whipped to the side, cheeks full of food but trying to smile "...from scratch."

"Marry me." It sounded more like, "Murffeh mah" but I smiled and shook my head.

Even though it was only a joke, I couldn't help but be reminded of the first demon I had encountered. Some demons had a way with words and really left a lasting impression. A few months later, and handful more of "ugly, evil, belly-to-the-ground, supernatural pieces of crap" Dean and Sam had been fighting their whole life, I was still haunted by Cassyalobalas' words. He was very insistent about Dean remembering hunters never got their happily ever after. It was most likely out of bitterness and just a way to get to him, but a small part of me wondered if there was some truth to it. Knowing what happened to their mother and what it did to John, I had a feeling he wasn't lying.

I still had yet to meet the infamous Bobby Singer, but Sam filled me in on enough of his back story to know he was an ornery old man that lived alone, and it wasn't by choice. His wife had been possessed by a demon, and he had no choice but to kill her. He wasn't a hunter back then, so he had no idea about exorcisms or Devil's Traps. Then again, if he had been a hunter chances were he wouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Generally speaking, a person didn't just wake up one day and decide, "Hey, I think I'm gonna go hunt the stuff nightmares are made of!" Something awful had to have happened for a person for to choose this life. Dean and Sam had accepted their fate and so did I. Marriage was never really at the top of my to-do list. After seeing how things panned out with Charlie and Renee, I sort of figured it wasn't in the cards anyway. It didn't stop me from wondering if some small part of Dean wanted that kind of life.

"You ever think about it?" I brought a french fry to my mouth and nervously started to nibble.

Dean turned to face me, his eyes tight with question. "Think about what?"

I swallowed thickly and took a deep breath. "Getting married, settling down, starting a family..."

"Bella..." His voice was low with warning.

"I mean once Yellow Eyes is out of the way and Eve is dead, you and Sam could―"

He swerved the car to the right, pulling off onto the dirt shoulder, rocks as sand scattering in the wake. Roughly shifting the car into park, he turned his whole body toward me. "You think it's just going to stop after that? Dammit, Bella. This is what I've been trying to tell you all along. There is no life outside of hunting." The anger in his voice caused me to look away. He stroked my cheek, coaxing me back to him as his eyes softened. "I thought you knew what you were giving up."

"I did...I do... I just...you deserve to be happy, Dean. It's not fair. You're a good person and you should be able to have all the things you want."

He removed his hand, let out a long sigh, and lowered his eyes. "I can't have what I want."

"You're afraid of getting hurt."

His tongue swept across his lower lip as he looked up, giving me a pensive stare. The moment I said it, I wished I could have taken it back. That was something I had heard him think before we knew how my powers worked, and I couldn't help but feel like I violated his privacy. Even though he knew I had read his thoughts, he didn't seem angry.

My teeth found their way to my lip. "...by me," I added in a barely there whisper.

"Hunters die young. I'll be lucky if I make it past thirty. Some big bad will end up taking me down..." he looked at me from the corner of his eye, giving me a cocky side smirk "...of course I'll take as many of them down as I can along the way." He tilted my chin up to face him. I had never seen his eyes so serious. "I'm not scared of dying. I'm terrified of losing you."

Sucking in a sharp breath, I leaned into his touch and rested my hand on top of his. "You won't."

"I've seen a lot, Bella. But I won't watch you die." He looked away from me momentarily, taking a deep breath of his own before turning back with eyes glazed over. "I can't..." his voice broke slightly "...live with that."

He brought his other hand to the other side of my cheek and pulled my face into his so our noses were almost touching. His stare was too intense so I closed my eyes, breathing him in. I had been down this road before, trying to reassure Edward his fears were misplaced, that I wasn't in danger, that he'd never hurt me. I was wrong; he had hurt me and I fell apart, but Dean put me back together. I couldn't make any promises to Dean tonight. There was a strong chance I'd die on the job too. Being a hunter had its consequences. The boys had lost so much, sacrificed so much, but it wasn't for nothing. All those people were alive because of them...because of us. It wasn't fair and it hurt like hell, but it was all worth it. I knew I had it in me to give him a little bit of that happiness he deserved.

I wove my hands around his neck, my lips almost touching his as I spoke. "I'm not going to lie and tell you I'll be okay. I don't know what's going to happen. Before I met you and Sam, I wasn't living. I was just going through the motions waiting for someone or something to put me out of my misery. Dean, you took a broken, shell of a girl and brought her back to life. I feel needed...wanted." A tear started to roll down my cheek, dampening Dean's face.

"Shh...don't cry." He rubbed it away with the pad of his thumb.

His gentle voice and sweet touch only made me cry harder. I let out a broken sob, my chest shaking with emotion.

"Let me fix you," I begged through the tears.

He wound his fingers in my hair, giving it a firm tug to pull my lips down to his. Hard, unyielding lips moved with passion and want. I whimpered against him as a burning filled my belly, and I opened my mouth, letting him in and tasting him. The syrupy sweet taste of the apple pie that lingered on his lips mixed with the heavy smell of Dean in the air made me dizzy. I clutched the collar of his shirt tightly as my greedy mouth took more of him, hoping to drown the building fire with more of his kisses.

Carefully wrapping an arm around my back, he lowered me down onto the seat, his lips never leaving mine. My heart beat wildly, moisture pooling between my legs as he pressed his body into mine and continued to kiss me. His hands roamed up my body, kissing me so deeply, I could no longer tell who was breathing for who.

He pulled away momentarily as I panted, trying to catch my breath and slow my heart. I brought two fingers to my lips, smiling slightly as I felt how swollen they were. Dean took a hand and gently brushed my hair back, a sad smile on his face.

"Some things can't be fixed, sweetheart." His fingers tickled the sliver of skin above my waistband, delicately teasing circles along my hipbones. His eyes fixed on my face.

I sniffled, wiping away my tears. "I didn't mean…I just want you to have…to be happy. I want you to have…me. Let me make you happy, Dean."

He leaned forward and brought his lips to mine in a soft, gentle kiss. I moaned into his mouth, grinding my body against his as the salty tears mixed with the sweet taste of his tongue. Running his fingers through my hair and pulling me closer, he devoured my mouth, leaving no room for space or air, only us.

Between heavy breaths, he whispered, "You do make me happy, Bella. You have no idea." He stared at me, licking his lips slightly. "Let me make you feel good."

I let out a shiver as his warm breath fanned over my neck before he sucked my earlobe into his mouth. Snaking a hand between our bodies, he effortlessly unbuttoned my jeans and started to slowly unzip them. My stomach started to quiver as he pushed them down over my hips, and I sucked in a sharp breath. I could feel my legs starting to involuntarily shake as he dragged my pants down my legs. No matter how much I thought I wanted this, my body was still nervous. Pointing my toes, Dean slipped my jeans off with ease and tossed them in the back seat. I started to pull my knees to my chest, but he placed hand over my thigh, slightly pushing them back down so I was lying flat on my back. He hovered over me, one leg pressing against my thigh and the back of the seat and the other firmly planted on the floor of the driver's side.

Exhaling slowly, releasing the breath I didn't realize I was holding, Dean dipped his fingers into the thin lace strap of my bikini briefs. His rough fingertips grazed the sensitive skin along my pelvis, evoking delicious chills and goosebumps along my flesh. He firmly pressed the palm of his hand against me, his middle finger reaching lower and lower...

I squeezed my eyes shut and gasped as he made contact. Bending down, he placed a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth, his deep, gravelly voice bringing me back to the moment. My eyes snapped open to meet his, hazel shining eyes with lust and longing. "I promise I won't hurt you, Bella."

Nodding slowly, I sucked my lower lip into my mouth as his hand started to move, dragging his finger up and down my wet slit. The pressure of his hand rubbing against me gave me the friction I craved as he teased my entrance with his fingers. I tensed a bit, afraid of what was about to happen next.

"God, you're so wet," he said through strangled whispers as he breathed into my neck.

A moan slipped out as he started to thrust his fingers in and out. I screwed my eyes shut, afraid if I made another sound or moved the wrong way it would all go away. The fire inside was now raging at wildfire speed. My emotions and the heat flowing through my veins completely overwhelmed me. The muscles in my stomach started to clench, and before I knew it, I was falling over the edge as his fingers continued to work me. Caught breaths and quaking legs, too bright stars and slowing time, I tumbled toward ecstasy and lay there consumed by it all. It was everything...he was everything.

He brushed the back of his hand against my cheek, brushing the dazed look off my face. "You okay there, sweetheart?"

He smirked with knowing eyes as I breathed out a shaky, "Yes."

The air in the car was thick with sweat and my scent as we drove back to the motel. My cheeks still felt like they were on fire and they physically ached from the smile I couldn't get rid of. Dean drove down the road, occasionally glancing at me with a cocky grin. I'd try to avert his gaze which only made him lick his lips. He knew how good he had made me feel and I could tell how much he enjoyed it. It was only a matter of time before we went all the way and the thought terrified and thrilled me all at the same time. Judging by how gentle he was tonight, I had nothing to worry about.

~o~

Dean was a little on edge the next few days. He was anxiously awaiting word from Bobby or John. Last we heard, John was closing in on Yellow Eyes somewhere in Alaska and the boys were chomping at the bit. I had finally convinced Dean to come to bed but he was restless.

I lazily traced my fingers along the pentagram tattoo on his chest as I rested my head in the crook of his neck. "There's nothing you can do but wait. You might as well try and get some sleep. You won't be any good tired."

"I can't stop thinking about it, Bella." He sighed dejectedly. "He's out there, watching, waiting. I just want this over."

Carefully, I trailed my fingers down his chest stopping just above the waistband of his boxer shorts. "I can do something to take your mind off of it." I so badly wanted to make him feel as good as he made me feel.

"Bella." His voice was laced with warning.

"I don't know what I'm doing, but..."

Dean gently pushed me off of him and sat up in bed, resting his head against the wall, closing his eyes for composure. My face screwed up in disgust as I narrowed my eyes and shook my head, silently seething. At least Edward had an excuse for constantly turning me down. Even his chaste, reserved kisses were better than this. I would get all worked up, electricity and heat flowing through my veins, lighting my body on fire...only to be shot down and feel like I was just doused by a bucket of ice water. After a few slow breaths he opened his eyes, a light gleam brightening his irises as he turned to me.

"You know what they say about having sex before a big game, right? It's bad luck."

I frowned, looking down and thoroughly confused. I may not have known a whole lot about men, but I did know that when they got turned on and didn't follow through...well, it was more than uncomfortable. How could he even joke about this?

"I wasn't..."

He tilted my chin up and pulled my face towards his, pressing his lips against mine. My breathing picked up just as his slowed down and he pulled away, our noses still touching.

"You really don't know what you do to me, do you, sweetheart?"

I bit down on my lip and shook my head slightly. Dean let out a chuckle and ran a hand down my bare arm, giving it a slight squeeze.

"Sometimes being in the same room with you is physically painful. Every part of me just wants to throw you down on that bed and make you mine. Holding you while you sleep is torture. It would be so easy to..." A heat started to creep up my chest and Dean let out a long breath. "It's more than just feeling you next to me..." he turned away from me, focusing his gaze on the blanket and lowered his voice "...I need you next me. " His startling green eyes met mine and suddenly all the air had left my lungs. "Sex changes things, Bella. I'm not ready to chance it." He gave me a sad smile. "You know I can handle more than my share of physical pain." '_It's the emotional part I can't handle, sweetheart.' _.

I furrowed my brow and looked down at my lap, diligently picking at a dead cuticle. A part of me wondered if he would ever get past his emotional roadblock. It was time Sam and I had a little chat about his brother. Even though I was the mind reader, Sam would have insight and perspective that I could only dream of. Since Dean was still being tight-lipped about his reasoning behind keeping me at a safe distance, in his mind anyway, maybe it was time I changed the playing field and told him exactly how I felt.

He reclined, pulling me down into his arms and nestling his body against mine so we were perfectly aligned. "Come on, let's try and get some sleep."

Feeling his body wrapped around mind, melting into his arms, was more than enough...for now.

The loud blaring sound of heavy metal filled the air, but that wasn't what woke me up from a deep sleep. Dean shooting off the bed, searching for his cell phone did. Both Sam and I were alert by the time he answered.

"Hello?" Dean asked, his voice impatient and startled at the same time. "You got him! You're sure it's him?" He shot off the questions like rapid fire as he motioned for Sam and I to start packing. "Yeah...yeah, we're on our way. If we drive through the rest of the night we should be there by midafternoon."

He snapped the phone shut and tucked it into his pocket. I had already slipped on a pair of jeans and Sam got the rest of his stuff together. I made one last pass of the bathroom, making sure I didn't forget anything, but lingered in the doorway when I overheard Sam and Dean whispering. Remaining unseen behind the bathroom door, I listened to the argument taking place.

"Dad's sure it's him?"

"That's what he said, Sammy." Dean's shoulders were rigid as he threw some dirty clothes in his bag.

"Yeah, but what about that nest of vampires Bobby mentioned. The vegetarian ones with the yellow eyes like the one Bella was with. I'm not saying he's wrong about Yellow Eyes, but what if it's not even him? What if Dad's really lost it? You know how he is...how you _were. _Shoot first, ask later. This whole time he's raised us to hate those things...and you know how much I hate them, but then Bella came around and she made us see. All those things we've killed...maybe they didn't deserve to die."

Dean must have thrown his bag across the room because it sounded like a lamp had crashed to the floor. "Even if it's not him, it's a lead we didn't have before. I'll kill every one of them if it gets me closer to Yellow Eyes."

"You can't be serious, Dean. After everything we've been through...what's Bella going to think?"

Dean chuckled darkly. "Spoils of war, Sammy."

Sam laughed in disbelief. "This has nothing do with Yellow Eyes, does it? This is about _him_. You think he's part of that nest, and you want to go there and kill him yourself."

"For what he put Bella through," he snapped, raising his voice. "You'd do it in a heartbeat, Sammy. Don't kid yourself."

"You don't even know if he's there..."

"Dad ID-ed him. He's there...and he's gonna pay."

The minute realization dawned on me, I felt my legs give out. I slumped to the floor, gripping the edge of the door so tightly I felt wood shards against my fingertips as I dug into the wood.

"Bella?" Sam's voice broke through the loud swishing sound in my ears.

Dean spun around, his worried face the last thing I saw before I surrendered to darkness threatening to consume me.

"Bella, wake up. Please, just open your eyes, sweetheart."

I could feel the weight of my eyelids fighting to stay closed. Trying to open them, my eyes fluttered open and Dean was staring down at me.

Dean helped me sit up, a protective hand at the small of my back. "Are you okay? What happened back there?"

Sam frowned at Dean, sending him a warning glare. Dean widened his eyes, silently telling him to back off.

I swallowed thickly. "I don't..." Looking around the room, from the bathroom back to Sam and Dean, I paused at the spot they had been standing at before I passed out. "You were...Sam said..." I stood up a little too fast as bright stars crept into the corners of my vision. I tossed Dean an incredulous stare. "Is Edward in Alaska?"

~o~

I fully expected a shouting match in the car on the way to wherever we were headed. When I was met with the silent treatment from both Sam and Dean, it was oddly disconcerting. Even when I gave up on Dean answering my questions, I was at least expecting Sam to offer some insight. Instead, he just wore a tight frown and had eyes that were filled with pity. I cried, screamed, and even begged to know something...anything. All this time and Edward was only a few hours away in Alaska. If I had only gone there first, instead of trekking out into the woods that night... My hand flew to my chest as I tried to soothe the sharp pains that stabbed at my heart. I never would have met Dean and Sam.

I swiped at the tears that had fallen down my cheek with the back of my hand and sniffled. Life without Sam and Dean was not something I wanted to think about.

"Promise me you won't kill anyone." I tugged at Dean's shoulder, forcing him to look away from the road and face me. His lips worked into a scowl as he turned back to the road. I remained on the edge of the seat, yelling in his ear. "You're not a killer. You know right from wrong. Your job is to hunt evil. They're not killing anyone. They're not evil, Dean!"

Sam reached out and placed a hand on my other shoulder, shooting me a sympathetic look. I reared back and glared at him as I settled back into the seat, bringing my knees up to my chest and protectively wrapping my arms around my legs. I continued to stare at the back of both of their heads, shooting imaginary daggers at them.

We pulled down a dirt road and Dean slammed the Impala into park outside of a warehouse. I looked around at the thick forest surrounding us and shrugged. It wasn't the typical opulence the Cullens were used to but maybe the inside was much nicer. They were obviously trying to stay low-profile for whatever reason. I slid on the seat, reaching for the door when Dean yanked it open. I glared at him as I made my way out of the car. Obviously, I wasn't moving fast enough for him because he grabbed me by the wrist and started to lead me toward the building. I tried to pull away from him but his grip only tightened.

I looked down at my arm and then back up at him, disbelief in my eyes. "Come on, Dean. I'm not going to do anything stupid. You can let go now."

The silent treatment was really starting to piss me off. Sam walked a few paces in front of us, and I sucked in a sharp breath and held it as he opened the door. I was not expecting this. I looked around at my surroundings and felt like I was on the set of a horror movie.

"Where is everyone?" Dean finally let go of me and I took a few steps, casing out the place. "What is this place?"

"Safehouse," Sam replied quietly.

"For?" My gaze followed the perimeter of the building, finally landing on Dean's retreating form.

He stopped mid-stride, looking over his shoulder. "For you, sweetheart."

"What! You can't..." I turned to Sam for backup but he was already making his way to the door. "You have to let me go. You can't just expect me to stay here while you kill innocent people," I said frantically, chasing after Dean.

"People?" Dean spun around, chuckling maniacally. "They're vampires, Bella. Vampires that left you to rot."

"It's not their fault. If Edward's there I need..."

He advanced toward me, his menacing stare and flexed jaw causing my heart to beat faster and fill my veins with panic. "You're something else, you know that? Every chance you get, you defend him. You keep telling us how good he was. I don't buy it. He's a monster, Bella, and I'm not talking about him being a vampire." His face softened and he reached out placing his hand flat over my heart. "He left you. He was selfish and didn't care if what he did would hurt you." I opened my mouth to protest but the pain in Dean's eyes effectively silenced me. "He broke you and I'm the one that had to pick up the pieces."

I reared back and furrowed my brows at him. "It doesn't mean you have the right to kill him...any of them."

Sam stood between Dean and me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "We're not going to kill them. Right, Dean?" Dean answered with a grumble as Sam tried to assure me. "We're just going to see what they know."

"They don't know anything!" I cried. "John's lost it." I stood on my tiptoes, trying to look past Sam. Dean stood in front of the door, disgust etched on his features. "You _know_ he has. He tried to kill me. Look at yourself. This isn't you, Dean. Please just leave him...leave them alone."

"Still protecting blood suckers..." he hesitated, swallowing thickly as visions of us in the Impala flashed through his mind "...after everything?" His thoughts drifted from the physical to the emotional, my pleas of letting me fix him. He shook his head and pursed his lips. The hurt and disgust pouring from his eyes pierced my heart. "This whole time you've been begging me to just let it go, give in to what I'm feeling while you're still hung up on your ex. How could you, Bella?"

My jaw hung loosely as his words ripped me open. That was what he thought? That I still had feelings for Edward? Quivering lips and shaking hands, I tried to think of the right words to say to make him see this wasn't about Edward. This was about him...about keeping him human, just like Sam had said. Dean was so much more than anger and hatred. I couldn't let him revert to his old ways.

He put up an impassive hand and waved me off. "It's alright, sweetheart. I get it. You love him...you'll always love him." _I know I'm not good enough for you, sweetheart, and you'll probably hate me once this is over, but it's for your own good. I'm not going to let you throw away your life...the life you just started living because of some vampire._

Dean turned away from me and I felt like my soul was tearing in two. Tears started to well in my eyes.

"Sam, please..."

Sam ran his hands down my arms trying to comfort me. "It will be okay. I promise."

Sam and Dean made their way to the door, and I ran after them. Dean stood tall, a hand on the handle and one gripping the key.

"I'm sorry, Bella...about everything. I really wish it didn't have to be like this." His eyes filled with pain and guilt as he gave me one last glance and pressed his mouth into a hard line. He quickly slammed the door shut, latching the deadbolt and locking it behind him.

"DEAN!" I cried, frantically banging on the steel door.

I looked around the abandoned warehouse, a shiver creeping up my spine as I took in the dilapidated scaffolding and flickering lights. I searched, looking for another exit, but I knew Dean too well; he'd have everything covered. I thought about climbing through one of the windows but the only way to get there was the metal framework that would most likely cause me to plummet to my death. Something in the corner of the warehouse caught my eye. The place where the sheet metal siding met the foundation was a thin sliver of light breaking through from the outside. If I could find something to dig at it, maybe I could crawl out. I paced the length of the large open space again, feeling completely defeated when I found a shovel.

Running over to get it, I made my way to that corner and started digging. The loud clang of metal hitting concrete echoed through the empty room. The overhead lights started flickering, only this time sparks started shooting out from them.

"Dammit, hurry up, Bella!" Sweat started to pour down my forehead as I struggled with the shovel. Sam and Dean made digging look so easy. I rested a hand on my waist as I stood back and took a breather.

A sizzling, cracking noise, like something had caught on fire came from over my shoulder. I turned around and was faced with something that rivaled the fireworks display on First Beach. Each light exploded, sparks raining down in steady streams and a shadow slowly approached me. I gripped the handle of the shovel tightly and swung it up over my head, ready to strike.

The shadow, which now appeared to be a man, came into view bathed in the bright light and leaving more sparks in his wake. He wore a long trench coat and had dark hair and serious, stern blue eyes. I was almost immobilized by his perfection and the unearthly glow following behind him.

"Who are you?" I demanded, wielding the shovel as a weapon.

"Castiel." His voice was void of any emotion, like I was supposed to know what that meant.

"Okay...what are you?"

"An angel of the Lord. We need to talk, Bella."

"No...no, no, no. This isn't happening." I spun around in circles, shaking my head. "Not now..."

"I'm supposed to stop you from going to Denali and keep you from saving Edward."

"What?" The shovel dropped from my hands. "I'm not going to save Edward. I need to stop Dean from killing him." I averted his piercing gaze and mumbled to the floor. "I want to say goodbye. It may be the only chance I get."

"He's not who you think, Bella."

I looked up, narrowing my eyes at him. "You're lying."

He tilted his head in question, appraising my facial expression. "I assure you, I am not. He is no longer the vampire you loved. Azazel has him now."

_Finally_, I thought. Someone else other than myself realized I didn't love him anymore. "What does that even mean? Is he in trouble? Is Azazel going to kill him?"

He straightened out his jacket and came closer. "Whatever humanity you restored to him has quickly faded away."

I inhaled slowly, trying to make sense of his cryptic words. "He's...he's not killing people, is he?"

"I'm afraid so. It was only a matter of time before Eve found him." His eyes brightened as his lips widened, revealing a truly majestic smile. I took a few steps backward, trying to put as much distance between him and me as possible. He may have been an angel of the Lord, but his lack of emotion and sudden smile combined with the way he stared made me uneasy.

He cocked his head to the side, gauging my reaction. "I have to admit, the Winchesters really threw her for a loop when they took you under their wings. She was watching you from the moment Edward left, waiting for the perfect time to strike...when you finally gave up. When you left with the brothers, she had to change her course." He narrowed his eyes and spoke in a very serious tone. "Forks has always been the Gomorrah of your time, a cesspool of supernatural. Of course she would linger there...most of her children are there." He brought his hand to his chin and pursed his lips, looking at me pensively. "She underestimated the love the vampire had for you. She had no idea he planned to return to Forks. You see, the Cullens and other vampires like them were off her radar. They refused to feed off of people, essentially denouncing their creation and breaking all ties with their mother. Imagine how happy she was to see one of her prodigal children. As a mother, she knew exactly what was needed to sway him."

I shook my head vehemently. "No. He would never go back to drinking human blood."

His eyes tightened as he spoke in a monotone voice. "It came too easy once Eve showed him the vision of you drowning in Lake Manitoc. He thinks you're dead, Bella. He no longer had reason to fight the monster he always believed he was. He gave in and now he's following Azazel's orders."

My eyes burned with tears that I refused to shed. I was a hunter now. I couldn't just fall apart under the weight of my own guilt. We all had our choices and Edward made his, even if it was misguided.

Castiel reached a hand out and touched my cheek. The urge to recoil was over powered by a strange calming sensation surging through my body. "Your face tells me you're upset. This isn't your fault, Bella. Even if the Edward you loved is still in there, Azazel is pulling the strings. There's nothing you can say or do that will change that."

I finally found the strength to move away from him and paced in a circle, his eyes following my every move. "So Edward is just a puppet? We have to go there, cut the strings, and he'll be back to normal."

He grabbed my hand and I looked down ready to yank it back when his firm voice stopped me in my tracks. "He will kill the Winchesters tonight." I tried to swallow back the lump that was firmly lodged in my throat. My tongue was thick and heavy in my mouth as panic began to course through me, making my limbs tingle and my vision blur. I tried to pull away, but he continued to speak. "If you go there, he will take you, and you will set Lucifer free. It's been prophesized. What is written shall come to pass."

Back in the car I had already admitted to myself that a life without Dean or Sam was not a life I wanted. I wouldn't let them die, and certainly not by Edward's hand. Fire filled my eyes as I yanked my hand back. "Let me tell you something about prophecies, Cas...ti...el." I enunciated every syllable of his name to let him know I didn't care who he was, angel or not. "There's a little something that throws a big 'ol monkey wrench in them. It's called free will."

The corners of his lips turned up in the slightest smug smile. "That is why I said I was supposed to stop you, not that I will. I have helped you this far. Why should I stop now?"

Ready to fight him on it, my jaw went slack as he started to hum the chorus of REO Speedwagon's _'Keep on Loving You'_.

I laughed and shook my head, tossing him an incredulous glare. "The radio that night?"

He used his hands to motion to his body. "This vessel has an affinity toward Monster ballads." His voice and the way he tilted his head, straining his eyes slightly told me it was more of a question. Angels of the Lord obviously weren't on the up and up of Billboard's Top 40s.

He pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. "You and Dean can be incredibly dense."

I opened my mouth to protest but he silenced me by placing two fingers on my forehead. The next thing I knew I was spinning in darkness, feeling like I was going to throw up. I opened my eyes, stars still swimming around my head. Stumbling along the floor, I tried to regain my balance but almost tripped over something. Looking down at the large mass on the floor, I noticed it was Sam and blood was seeping out onto the floor and starting to pool around him. I bent down to help him but paused when I heard a very recognizable grunt not too far away.

"I'm gonna go get help, Sammy. I promise."

I ran down the hallway and burst through a door on my right. Dean was on his back pushed against a fireplace. He strained, trying to reach the fire poker to his left. Edward hovered over him like an animal, snarling and teeth mashing together. Suddenly everything was perfectly still as he sniffed the air and craned his neck to face me.

"Edward!"

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E/N – You guys trust me, right? I just want to reiterate...THIS IS A BELLA/DEAN STORY. With that being said, I'm going to go hide in my basement now, which also happens to be a demon proof bomb shelter (well not the demon proof part, but Mr. Max is a bit of a survivalist). I'm always around for theories, hate mail, snot sobs, whatever you feel like throwing my way. Reviews are better than apple pie kisses from Dean.


	17. Lemon World

A/N – I know. You all hate me for leaving it like that. You're probably going to hate me a lot more after this chapter. I also want to remind everyone that this story takes place in the Supernatural universe. While there are many elements from Twilight, I mostly follow the lore from the show when dealing with demons and monsters. It will make more sense once you read the chapter. Team Bean, I'm lost without you girls! Thank you for loving me and indulging me in this crazy little venture.

Warning: Character death ahead. I just ask that you keep the pitchforks to yourself until the very end. Trust me.

Visuals are on my profile and this chapter is brought to you by Alex Band's "Only One".

* * *

_We bleed for what we need to forgive, forget, move on. One life to live, one love to give, one chance to keep from falling. One heart to break, one soul to take us, not for sake us._

**Chapter 17 – Lemon World**

He flew off of Dean with catlike reflexes and stalked toward me on all fours, the feral monster within taking over. He lifted his head mid-crawl and glared right at me. My blood turned to ice as his eyes focused on me. Gone was the warm golden honey I drowned in for so long. Dark ruby crimson with an odd hazy yellow film finally made him look like the monster he had always warned me about. I swallowed thickly as he advanced, stretching his long, lean muscles as he stood in front of me. As I distracted Edward, Dean made a move for the machete that was laying on the floor. He scampered across the room and swiftly took hold of the weapon. He made slow, careful steps, circling Edward from behind. Dean didn't need to bother being stealthy; Edward knew exactly where he was from the sound of his blood pumping through his veins and the smell of his salty sweat that had filled the air. If Edward really wanted Dean dead, he would be already...like Sam. I gulped, choking back my own cries, praying that he would be alright. Even if the Edward I loved was no longer there, I owed it to him to at least try. I lifted my shaking hand in the air, making eye contact with Dean and halting him. His jaw set in a hard line as he narrowed his eyes, a mix of what-the-hell-are-you-doing and pure rage.

"Edward?" I finally squeaked out.

He curled his lips around his teeth and let out a loud snarl. I watched as he elongated his neck and gritted through his teeth as he forced out my name. "Bella..."

It was like he was warring with himself, his head thrashing around, hands curled into claws at his side. His body tensed with each step closer to me, like something inside was holding him back. I saw Dean raise the machete out of the corner of my eye. Out of habit or instinct, I lunged forward and took hold of Edward's arm. It was silly to think I would be able to move a vampire, but I couldn't let Dean kill him. Edward was still in there...somewhere. Before I could even blink, Edward grabbed Dean by the forearm, twisting it in an awkward angle. I could hear the snap of bones as he cried out in pain and dropped the machete, and then Edward flung him across the room like he weighed nothing. Dean hit the wall with a loud thud and crashed into a buffet table, sending pieces of wood flying through the air. He landed on the floor and wasn't moving or making any noise. My heart started beating furiously against my ribcage, as if it could fly out of my chest to be by Dean's side. The adrenaline and fear flowing through my body took over, and I spun around on my heels and started to run toward him, but Edward's cold fingers wrapped around my wrist, pulling me back.

My body turned into his as his other hand found the small of my back, bringing me even closer to him. His fingers moved up my wrist and circled my hand, rubbing my palm with his thumb. My breathing picked up as the memories of the first time he showed me his room flooded my mind.

"You're not scared of me." His voice was too smooth, too sure. "You made a point of telling me several times, Bella."

The side smirk that always made me blush found its way to his lips, but I didn't have the same response. It wasn't the same; he wasn't the same. Something truly dark was hiding behind it, and it made me uneasy. I searched his eyes for any resemblance of the boy I once loved.

"I am now." My nerves started to get the better of me as my voice shook, and I began to gnaw on my lower lip. I sneaked a sideways glance at Dean who still remained unresponsive.

I refused to look at Edward, even as his hand delicately traced my jaw, finally giving me the touches I had craved for months. The thing I desperately wanted for so long was horribly wrong. My stomach churned as bile flooded my mouth. I wasn't in love with Edward anymore. That doe-eyed girl, with a head full of delusions and declarations of an everlasting love, was gone. I had lived in a lemon world, bright and cheery on the outside but sour at its core. If I had taken the time to really look, I would have seen how dangerous it was―his love an iron ball wrapped around my ankles, weighing me down. What I felt for Dean wasn't the same; it was pure, true. It didn't mean it was easy, but I knew it was right. Every beat of my heart, every fiber of my being belonged to him.

"Why won't you look at me, Isabella?" His grip tightened around my chin as he forced me to look up at him.

I bristled as he called me by my full name. Something that once brought warmth deep in my belly and sent my heart aflutter made my whole body tense. "I don't want to see what's in front of me. This isn't you, Edward. You would never hurt anyone."

"I'm doing this for you. I came back for you." He tilted his head from side to side, finally resting at an awkward angle, approaching our conversation with hesitance. Quickly, he straightened his neck, determination washing over his face as his eyes gleamed with darkness. "Isn't that what you wanted?" His voice was clear but cold and made my stomach drop.

I placed a hand on his hard chest, trying to push myself away. He swiftly scooped me up by the waist, my feet dangling off the floor as I hung in his arms like a rag doll.

Trembling in his grasp, my voice shook. "No. Not like this...not anymore."

He gently placed me back on my feet, a smile working its way to his mouth, the light catching his incisors, making him look truly dangerous. "But, Bella, you're my mate." His voice was slightly troubled but he quickly recovered. "We belong together."

I swallowed back the lump that had formed in my throat but managed to remained firm. "We don't."

Whipping his head to Dean's lifeless form and then back to me he narrowed his eyes. "Is this about him? Because I think I took care of that problem."

I looked on in horror and disbelief. He had no remorse...no soul. Castiel was right. Azazel had taken full control of him. There wasn't even a scrap of the Edward I knew in there.

He softly stroked my cheek, his eyes trying to soften but falling far short of what he used to be capable of. They were vacant and void of any emotion. "It's okay. I forgive you. I even ended the younger one's life so we wouldn't be met with any interference." He smiled, truly convinced he had done the right thing.

My eyes widened as I covered my mouth with my hand to hold in the screams threatening to burst from my chest. Each erratic beat of my heart was another dull blade, turning and twisting, causing maximum pain and unyielding torture. Darkness filled my mind as the room began to spin, and it felt as if the ground below me had opened, a fiery pit of hell awaiting me now that the Winchesters were gone. My body was numb, my limbs hanging heavy at my sides and my feet cemented to the ground. There was nowhere to run. I had no choice but to jump into the fire, accept the hell that would be life without Sam and Dean, but a voice inside my head screamed for me to run. It was velvety sweet and familiar. Somehow, in a time of panic, my mind had conjured the Edward I had loved. I listened to the voice and concentrated on my feet, demanding they move. Managing slow, retreating steps, I was able to back away from him.

My clumsy feet were no match for the speed of a vampire. He moved in a blur, clawed fingers reaching out to grab me, but he stopped mere inches away from my arms. Growls that sounded like they came from a tortured animal erupted from deep in his chest. The vein on his neck bulged as his head thrashed around. His eerie yellow, dead red eyes snapped to mine. Gritting his teeth, he spoke through snarls.

"I was foolish..." another guttural growl broke through the air "...thinking I could..." his jaw tensed as he bared his teeth but finally managed to gain his composure as he narrowed his eyes at me "...live with out you."

"I was weak, a coward. I ran away from the person I loved the most. I'm stronger now." He unclenched his hand and slowly extended it toward me. "Let me give you forever, Bella."

I swallowed thickly, the words I always wanted to hear slowly seeping into my heart, like a healing salve patching up old wounds. My fingers twitched as I hesitantly reached out for his hand. Dean and Sam were gone. Edward was back, at least part of him was. What other choice did I have?

_'Bella, don't do this.' _Edward's voice, the Edward I knew, was loud and clear in my mind. I reared back for a moment, furrowing my brows at him.

"Come on, Bella," the sickeningly smooth voice coaxed, "you wanted this...begged for it." He forced a smile. "Tell me to turn you."

_'You were meant to live a long, happy life. You need to choose life.'_ For the briefest moment, Edward's― no, the demon's control―faltered and the mask he wore faded as _he_ silently begged me. I finally recognized the boy that had stolen my heart.

"I...want..."

_'Listen to me. I can't hold him off for much longer. You have to fight. Don't give in, Bella. Don't say the words. That's the only thing stopping him. He needs you to choose this. You can do this. You're the strongest person I know. You need to live...for me...' _his eyes darted to Dean who still wasn't moving _'...for him.'_

I shook my head, not understanding what was going on inside of his head. Taking a step closer to him, thinking closer proximity would help explain the mixed signals, I grabbed his hand. He gave me an unsettling smile and pulled me into his chest.

"Say it...out loud."

I opened my mouth to speak, the words burning like acid on the tip of my tongue, when I heard a rustling and groan coming from the corner of the room. Whipping my head to the side, I watched Dean on all fours, struggling to get up.

Edward bared his teeth and let out a snarl as he leaped through the air. Dean still hadn't managed to stand and was vulnerable toward Edward's attack. His hand cut through the air and he wrapped it around the back of Dean's neck and gave it a firm squeeze. As Dean started to gasp for air, Edward smashed his face into the floor. He gripped him tightly by the scruff, pulled him back up, and thrust him into the air, ready to slam him down again. Dean's face was split open and raw as bright, red blood trickled down from his nostrils.

"No!" The cry ripped through me with such force my throat burned. Dean let out a few strangled coughs as Edward held him steady above his head. "Please," I begged as the tears fell in a steady stream.

Dean took one last glance at me before he slowly closed his eyes, defeat setting in. "Do it!" I screamed. "Turn me...please...just don't kill him."

My words hadn't even settled in the air when Edward released his hold and Dean crumpled to the floor. Before I even had a chance to breathe, Edward grabbed me, pushed my hair to the side, and tilted my head so my neck was exposed. I swallowed thickly and could feel his stare on my jugular with the movement. He curled his lips around his teeth and slowly lowered his head.

"Bella!" Dean's voice was scratchy but forceful. "Don't do this!" He shuffled across the floor, trying to make his way to me. Even faced with death he was still fighting for me. His screams fell on deaf ears. I was too far away; I had already chosen.

_'Don't you give in, Bella. Think about Charlie, your mother, Dean...' _I inhaled deeply, trying to silence Edward's voice.

With one last exhale, I whispered, "I'm ready."

Anticipating the burn, I squeezed my eyes shut. I could feel his lips just barely grazing my neck. He paused with such control as he hovered over me. Why wouldn't he just do it already?

_'Kill me.' _The voice in my headwas firm, an order not a plea.

I snapped my eyes open to see Edward, my Edward, staring back at me with honey eyes filled with love and devotion.

"Edward?" A tear rolled down my cheek as I stared at him in disbelief. My lower lip started to quiver as I threw myself into his arms. Sobs tore through my body, my shoulders shook as I gasped for breath.

Edward grabbed me by the shoulders and held me at an arm's length. He wiped away a tear with the pad of his thumb as pain marred his perfect features.

"Azazel is gone, but I'm not sure for how long. Bella, listen to me...you need to kill me."

"What? No..." I shook my head frantically. "You're back now...it will be okay...it's gonna be fine. Dean can..."

He pursed his lips in disgust and lowered his eyes to hide his pain. "I killed them. Carlisle, Alice...every last one of them, even the Denalis. They're all dead, Bella."

A sob tore through me as I shed the tears he could not. "No! No..." I cried harder. "You're lying. You're just saying that so I'll..." I choked on my words and shook my head as if it would change the truth.

"They fought me to the death...to protect you." He grasped my hands tightly as he begged. "You have to do it, Bella. Please..."

I pulled my hands away and backed up. "I can't," I cried. "How am I supposed to..."

"Shh..." he placed a finger on my lips and then brushed my cheek. "You always believed I was good. Let me prove it." His mouth formed a sad smile as heavy words fell from his lips. "I love you."

He remained smiling, even still, as Dean sneaked up behind him, the machete slicing through the air in one swift motion. I screwed my eyes shut just in time to miss his head rolling to the floor.

~o~

I knew I was screaming. My mouth was open and some horrible, eardrum piercing cry no doubt coming out of it, but I couldn't hear it. Maybe I wasn't screaming at all. Some how I managed to get my brain to communicate with my body as I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. My gaze was entirely focused on the fire that engulfed Edward's body...and the unseeing eyes that started to turn to ash even as they remained fixed on me.

"Bella, you have to snap out of this. Please. Sammy's bleeding out. I need your help." I started to rock back and forth, and Dean knelt down in front of me, blocking my view of the dancing flames and Edward's eyes. "I had to do it. Yell at me, smack me, I don't care...but we need to get out of here."

I stared blankly, just waiting for him to move so I could continue to watch Edward disappear forever.

"I'm just gonna throw you over my shoulder..." He started to pry my hands away from my legs, making it easier for him to maneuver my body.

"She's in shock." Dean turned to the monotone voice the seemed to have come out of nowhere.

He dropped my hands, shot up, and whipped out his pistol, aiming it at the unexpected intruder.

"Dean, the gun will not injure me."

Dean paused a moment, taken aback by the stranger's knowledge of his name. He cocked the hammer back with his thumb and steadied his aim. "Probably not, but I bet it'll hurt like hell."

"We really don't have time for this." He took a step toward us, and Dean shot off a round. Tugging at the lapel of his trench coat, the man tilted his head, inspecting the bullet hole, and then set his icy gaze on Dean. After five more rounds to the chest, the man let out a long, exasperated sigh. "I rather liked this coat."

Dean bent down and grabbed the machete that laid at my feet. He lifted it high above his head, ready to strike. Suddenly, the door swung open and caused a loud bang as it smashed against the wall. My eyes were already in that direction so I didn't move, but Dean turned toward the doorway, ready to strike.

"Dean, stop! He's not gonna hurt us." Sam, who was obviously brought back from near death, made his way into the room. He carefully walked around the room, surveying the physical damage, and stopped in front of the fireplace. "Crap." He ran a nervous hand through his hair when he recognized the large mass, resembling a body.

"Sam?" Dean's eyes widened as he took in his brothers appearance.

Castiel was standing face to face with Dean, staring him down. "Listen to your brother."

Dean pressed the muzzle of his pistol under his chin. "The only thing I'm listening to is you telling me what the hell you are."

My ears had only just stopped ringing as Dean clicked the hammer back, and I closed my eyes, awaiting the loud blast. When it never came, I slowly opened my eyes to find Castiel placing his hand over Dean's as he forced the gun down with ease even though Dean was fighting him with all his strength. "I'm an angel of the Lord."

With a steely glare, Dean flexed his jaw as his nostrils, the contempt so palpable it sent a chill to my already numb body. "Get the hell out of here. There's no such thing."

A flash of movement from the corner of my eye caused me to jump a bit. Sam had made his way over to Dean's side. "I don't know if it's true or not...but he healed me." He lifted his shirt to reveal his toned abs, not one cut or scratch. "Whatever he is...I think he's good. I think he's here to help us."

Castiel lowered his head slightly and gave Dean a thoughtful stare. "This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith."

Dean let out a spiteful chuckle. "In what? God? You're right. I don't. What kind of God created monsters? What kind of God lets people suffer?" He narrowed his eyes and glared at the angel. "Where was your God when that vampire almost took a chunk out of Bella's neck. Is that what _He_ wanted?"

Castiel tightened his eyes as his voice took on harsh tone. "Who are you to question God? I am the one that brought her here to confront the vampire. She needed to see. She needed to choose." He put his hands up and shoved passed Sam and Dean, like Moses parting the Red Sea, and knelt before me. They both spun around to face me.

"Don't even think about touching her," Dean spat.

He tilted his head to them, staring directly at Dean. "You were right before. We need to get out of here. It will be easier this way."

Castiel placed two fingers on my forehead, and just like that I was consumed by the darkness.

~o~

They were waiting for me to wake up. I had been awake for awhile, long enough to hear Dean badger Castiel and hear Sam's whispered pleas as he begged me to come back to them. I just refused to open my eyes and face reality.

"Why isn't she waking up?" Dean's harsh, demanding voice broke through the silence and stirred something inside me. I couldn't keep putting this off.

"She's alive." Castiel's calm, knowing tone did nothing to set Dean at ease.

"Yeah, so you've said. You know what I think? I think you did this on purpose. This is what you mooks wanted, isn't it? If she's brain dead she can't exactly let Lucifer out of his cage, can she?"

There was a bit of a scuffle. Since I wasn't watching I didn't know exactly what had happened, but I knew Dean well enough to piece it together. He had Castiel up against the wall, no doubt making aimless threats to a being that could not be killed. Castiel calmly assured him that was not how things worked, and just like always, Sam tried to reel Dean back.

"You better pray she comes out of this okay or else..."

"Dean, this isn't helping Bella. Right now, Castiel is the only person we have that can explain what's going on. He's our inside man from up there. He's got to know something useful."

The room fell silent as Castiel refused to yield to Dean's threats. I could hear the shuffle of his feet as he paced across the floor.

"Please, just wake her up. I need to know she's okay." His voice sounded so desperate.

"This wasn't easy for her. You need to give her time."

"How do you know what she needs? You don't know her...you don't know anything." Angry Dean was back.

"I'm an angel of the Lord. I know things."

"Look, pal, I'm not buying what you're selling, so who are you really?"

A high-pitched screeching noise rang through the room, causing the walls and the bed underneath me to shake. I snapped open my eyes and sat up in bed, only to see the dark shadows of large, feathered wings against the wall. Tip to tip, they spanned the length of the room with ease but had as much substance as air. The wings could only be seen in the shadows, and I was sure, somehow, that we only saw them because he allowed it. By the time Sam and Dean were able to gather themselves after such a revelation, Castiel had already become wise to me waking.

He spun around to face me and nodded approvingly at me. "Bella."

I scrambled off the bed and lunged at him. "You knew! You knew he was going to die and you didn't do a thing," I cried.

He lowered his head in shame. "I did know he would die, but I thought it would be at your hand."

Fury filled my blood as I screeched a pathetic excuse for a battle cry. I reached out and tried to swing at him, but Dean circled his arms around me, trapping me in a hold. I thrashed against his body, finally freeing myself and facing him. Pounding my fists against his chest, tears pouring down my face, I screamed. "You killed him!"

Dean just closed his eyes, not arguing, receiving the beating willingly. "It was him. It was my Edward. Edward...not Yellow Eyes, and you killed him anyway." I stopped hitting him and stumbled backwards as the loss of Edward finally became real.

A hole had been punched through my chest, not just because Edward was finally gone but because Dean was the one to end his life. Doubling over in pain, the wounds that had finally healed were ripped open with a rusty blade. I slumped to the floor in a careless heap, the weight of it all dragging me toward unrelenting despair.

My vision blurred as I looked up at Dean through waterlogged eyes. "It didn't matter, did it?" Another broken sob tore through my chest. When he didn't argue, I took a deep breath letting it sink in. Dean had been out for blood from the very start, even if Edward was no longer a threat. Whether it was revenge or just pure hatred for all things supernatural, he had chosen this path long ago. I had figured out long ago when Dean had his mind set on something, there was no changing it.

My breathing managed to calm me down enough to get out my words in a low, firm voice. "I heard you that night. You were going to kill him anyway."

When he didn't answer, I violently wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and stared at him. He was so broken, his eyes sad and tormented. As angry as I was, I was forced to admit that even if he had meant to kill Edward, he didn't feel good about it.

He turned his head to the side no longer able to look at me. He shook his head slowly, swallowing thickly. One last look at me with eyes glazed over, he whispered, "I'm sorry."

It was the truth but it wasn't enough.

Castiel slowly advanced toward me, closing the space between us. He extended his hand and I took it, letting him help me up. He remained in place, giving me a pensive stare like he was about to say something. I didn't wait for his condolences. There was nothing he could say or do that would make this right. I started to make my way to the door. Castiel remained tight-lipped as he shot Dean a sad, upset glance before following me. Dean hardly ever said he was sorry so when he did, I knew he meant it, I chose to walk past him without even acknowledging it.

When Edward had left me, the sadness almost consumed me. For a short minute, I thought about giving up completely. When the pain became so visceral that I would wake screaming and gasping for air, I knew I had to do something. Instead of drowning in depression, I embraced the anger...which eventually led me to the Winchesters. Edward had done a lot of shady things, under the guise of protecting me, when we were together. He broke my heart, but it didn't warrant a death sentence. Dean knew that.

Sam and Dean only just learned of Eve's plan and how she used Edward when Castiel filled them in. Whatever justification Dean had for going into that house and killing Edward, it wasn't that. There had to be another reason, and I intended on getting to the bottom of it―with or without anyone's help, divine intervention included.

Castiel placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, keeping me from walking the very dangerous path my thoughts were leading me on. "It had to be done. You know that."

I shrugged out of his touch and narrowed my eyes at him. "Why? Why did he have to die? You could have saved him."

He closed his eyes briefly before opening them, his icy blue stare keeping me in my place. "That was never my job. It was yours."

"Then I failed." My words were void of emotion. I had already cried all the tears I could for Edward.

An ocean full of tears wouldn't bring him back, and if his death was on my hands, I knew what I had to do. Like a true hunter, following in the footsteps of every Winchester, I would find the thing that did this to him and kill it. Vengeance was a great motivator.

Castiel tilted his head from side to side, another searching look straight to my soul. "You misunderstand. You've always been his savior. You made him human the minute he set eyes on you and let you live. No matter how much your blood called to him, he refused to give in to the monster. Just like then, he refused to give in to Azazel. He died doing the only thing that mattered to him―protecting you, as did his family. Their sacrifice has saved us all. It will not go unrecognized, I promise you."

"He would have died no matter what?" My voice cracked at the end as I refused to believe it.

"Yes. It was always meant to be that way." No sympathy, just confidence filled his eyes. "Now that Edward has failed, Eve must find another way to sway you."

Despite Dean's promises of keeping me safe, I never felt at ease once we had found out Eve's plan to twist me into some kind of evil instrument. That terror and the nagging feeling like she may strike was always there, but some how I had managed to push it away. Castiel's words only brought that fear to the forefront. The dizzying thoughts of how far Eve was willing to go turned my blood cold and made my stomach churn. She'd already taken the Cullens from me in her quest to gain my compliance. What did she have planned next? Would she go after Charlie? Would Dean be the next to fall?

I pushed past him, walking toward the door to let myself out of the small motel room. As I turned the door knob I spun around, I steeled my gaze on Castiel. "No. I'm gonna kill her before she gets another chance."

I slammed the door behind me and paid no mind to Dean's voice on the other side. It had become too crowded with broken hearts and angry souls. The air was too thick. I felt like it was holding me down, trapping and suffocating me. I couldn't look at Dean until I got a hold of my emotions. I knew it wasn't his fault, and I knew it had to be done, but I couldn't rationalize his intentions with the Dean I had come to love. I had slowly started to chip away at his wall, tearing down each brick of pain and hate one by one. One mention of Edward and it was all for nothing. Dean's whole life was guided by revenge, only instead of doing it all for his mother, he did it for me.

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E/N – I know. I committed one of the cardinal sins of fanfic. I killed Edward. With that being said, this is more a Supernatural story so I hope you're not too angry with me. I've always been Team Edward so I tried to make his death mean something. Things are going to get a little bumpy for Dean and Bella. How exactly does one have the "I'm sorry I killed your ex" talk?


	18. Shot Through the Heart

A/N – Hello! Sorry it's been so long between updates. RL is just absolutely insane right now. Oh and season 8 started so I've been otherwise occupied with dirty little fantasies of Dean all bloodied and banged up from Purgatory. Thanks to my Team Bean Girls and to everyone that reviews. I'm sorry if I didn't get a chance to respond to every single one. I figured you'd want the chapter instead of a reply.

This chapter is brought to you by The Scripts' For the First Time. I prefer the Boyce Avenue cover. You should definitely check it out. No visuals this week. It's a two parter chapter so they'll be up with the next chapter.

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_Oh, these times are hard, yeah, they're making us crazy. Don't give up on me, baby._

**Chapter 18 – Shot Through the Heart**

I swung open the backseat door to the Impala and settled in. Giving it a harder yank than warranted, it slammed shut, and I knew in a matter of seconds Dean would be outside giving me a ration of shit over how I treated his baby. The truth was I wanted him to get mad. It was easier for me to hold onto my anger if I didn't have him looking at me with that crippling guilt in his eyes. When Sam and Dean emerged from the motel room without Castiel in tow, I rolled my eyes and let out a huff. Apparently, angels didn't stick around for the aftermath once their job was done. He wasn't innocent in this either, and once I saw him again―and I knew we'd see him again with our line of work and the apocalypse on the horizon―he was going to get an earful.

Sam approached the car, keeping his head down as he opened the door and silently got into the passenger seat. I was tempted to watch him, see how he was handling this whole ordeal, but I was still too much of a coward myself and averted my eyes...just in time to meet Dean's piercing gaze. The glass did little to protect my heart as his stare sent shrapnel, from a love lost and a love that never would be, flying through my body, tearing and bruising the delicate muscle. Sam was oblivious to our silent showdown as a war waged within me. As close as Dean and I had got over the past few months, I always felt like he was untouchable. I could only go so deep. I foolishly thought I could live like that, greedily hoarding whatever crumbs he decided throw my way. We shared some intense moments, soulful glances and tender touches, but it was never enough. Whether it was the words he refused to say or the emotions he chose to ignore, we would never be more than this. Dean was the one that brought me back to life, a bright star illuminating the path to my destiny. The wound from losing Edward combined with the bitterness of watching Dean throw it all away for something as stupid as vengeance infuriated me. When neither of us backed down, he abruptly turned his head away from me and walked around the car.

The minute Dean got inside of the Impala, it seemed so much smaller. It felt like it was one hundred and nine degrees, the air stifling and no room to breathe. Despite how hot I felt, the space was cold; I had never been so alone. Sometimes there were no right words, but sometimes silence could kill. Sam and Dean weren't even sharing their brotherly banter and the longer it took any of us to break the ice, the harder it would be. My mind raced as I thought of ways to breach the topic that settled so thickly around us. My incessant fidgeting, bouncing my knee up and down, caused Sam to turn around and give me a questioning look. Frowning slightly, I lowered my eyes sheepishly and mumbled an apology.

I could still feel Sam's stare on me when he spoke. "It's okay, Bella."

The way he stretched his words out, making sure his voice was soothing and firm at the same told me he wasn't just talking about my nervous mannerisms.

My lips twitched to the side as I mustered a watery smile. At least _someone_ was trying. It wasn't okay, but that didn't mean it wouldn't be. I'd get past this; we all would―we had to. I stole one last glance at the rear view mirror and found Dean's tired eyes staring back at me. Edward's death took a toll on all of us, and I selfishly checked out, letting my own guilt eat at me. I didn't once think about what it had done to Dean. Foolishly, I had assumed he killed Edward simply because he wanted to. It never occurred to me that maybe he did it so I wouldn't have to. My last thought before closing my eyes was how he had saved me again.

~o~

The early afternoon rays poured into the backseat as sheets of pure warmth, delicately coaxing me back to reality. I squeezed my eyes shut a little tighter, letting the engine's vibrations lull me back to sleep. I wanted to linger just a tad longer in my dream world. In my dreams, there were no awkward silences between us. Somehow my subconscious managed to suppress the nightmares and flooded my mind with easy memories of stolen kisses and Dean's comforting arms. The brothers' far away, muffled voices slowly crept into my half-awake state of mind. The clearer they got, Dean's bitter, harsh tone matched with Sam's sad one, I decided to finally let myself wake up.

"You know she's going to forgive you, right?"

After a long pause from Dean, I cracked one eye to see if he was answering Sam with a look instead of verbalizing his real feelings. No surprise there, I mused.

Dean let out a long sigh. "It's not really something you can get over that easily, Sammy." He jerked his head to turn around and look at me.

My eyelids twitched as I let out a deep breath. Once I felt the heat of Dean's stare subside, I started breathing normally. I knew it wasn't fair to pretend I was sleeping just so I could eavesdrop on their conversation, but I was still scared. I held onto the security blanket of sleep because Dean was getting better and better at keeping his thoughts to himself, and I desperately needed to know what was going on inside of that head of his...especially when it came to me. If anyone could get it out of him, it would be Sam.

"I just chopped off the love of her life's head and then burnt his body." Dean's voice was gruff and laced with disgust, but I couldn't pinpoint if it was from him thinking about Edward being the love of my life or the brutality of his own actions. "It's not like I deserve her..." He trailed off for a minute but quickly recovered by adding in a low voice, "Forgiveness."

Sam let out a scoff and lowered his own voice, seething a bit. "Is that what you think? That you don't deserve her?"

"Her forgiveness, Sam," Dean corrected.

"Dean, you're my brother and I love you, but man can you stupid sometimes." I didn't need to be awake to know that Sam was doing an eye roll while shaking his head at his brother.

"So what? You think I should have let him live? Or...or better yet, let her kill him? I carry that burden, not her." He was firm, like that was the end of the conversation but Sam wouldn't drop it.

"That's your problem! You're always underestimating her." I did an imaginary fist bump when Sam defended me.

It wasn't that Dean thought I couldn't cut it as a hunter. I had shown him time and time again how good I really was. Between the research, piecing things together, and identifying with the victims, I was a natural, the tracking and mind reading aside. Maybe I had Charlie to thank for inherently giving me his cop legacy. Either way, I was good at hunting and I loved every minute of it. Dean even admitted it, and that was what scared him the most―it was true. His fierce protectiveness wasn't over keeping the big bad away from me; it was trying to keep me from the big bad. Despite the wall Dean had built around himself, he made his feelings on that subject pretty clear. The longer you were in this life, the worse it got. Each job slowly took its toll. It didn't matter if you weren't scared of demons anymore because you had seen it all. For every person you saved, there were a hundred more you couldn't, and that body count really started to add up. I didn't let that discourage me. We never got paid and were hardly ever thanked for our help, but that didn't matter. We did it because it was the right thing to do, but the more time I spent with Dean, the more I realized how jaded he had become and it broke my heart all over again.

~o~

Shortly after the Marshall Cross case, we had come up against our first actual monster, not counting the Wendigo. We had faced our fair share of ghosts and a demon here and there, but nothing particularly frightening. After all, we were hunters; scary, evil things came with the territory. What kind of hunters would we be if we headed for the hills at the first sign of trouble? The Shtriga we ran into back in Wisconsin, however, was the scariest thing we had encountered, not because it literally sucked the life out of its victims, but because of the effect it had on Dean. I had never seen him so afraid.

Seeing Dean afraid was not something I was prepared for. It just didn't seem right. The man not only faced the things nightmares were made of on a daily basis, he joked and pretty much spit in their face as he was taking them down. Instead of facing this thing head on, he reverted into himself. Guns a blazin' Dean Winchester had checked out and was replaced by a man that carefully plotted his next move, making sure nothing could go astray. He went over each angle, every tactic so methodically that he was missing the big picture—we needed to stop this thing now! Not tomorrow, not next week when the time was right. Innocent kids were dying and if we didn't get off the pot, those kids' deaths would be on our hands. I had asked Sam about Dean's odd behavior and the pieces finally started to come together. As if the similarities of the two brothers we had saved with that of the Winchesters weren't enough, it was the history of the Shtriga that really hit home.

When Sam and Dean were kids, they tagged along with John on a hunt. He left Dean in charge and instead of staying in the hotel room with Sam, Dean went to play a few games at the arcade. When he came back, a Shtriga was on top of Sam, feeding off of his life force. John showed up just in time. He only managed to scare it off, but it never resurfaced after that. No other children had died, but the damage was already done. Dean almost got Sam killed, and he wore that burden like a boulder crushing his chest. Instead of thinking about all the people he had saved, he focused on the guilt and all the kids that could have gotten hurt because of him. He took his time with this case because he couldn't risk messing up again. The Shtriga got away once; Dean wouldn't let that happen again. Even when he finally managed to kill the Shtriga and save Michael and his brother Asher, none of that mattered to him. He went to blow off some steam and have a few drinks while Sam and I stayed at the hotel.

My face saddened as Sam spoke of all the pressure John had put on Dean over the years. I closed my eyes as a silent tear trickled down my cheek. "He was just a kid. How is any of that fair?"

"Hey," Sam said soothingly, brushing away the tear with his thumb. "It wasn't all that bad. How many people can say they've seen the world's Biggest Ball of Twine twice?"

I laughed through the tears and then turned serious. "He's getting tired, Sam. I can tell he thinks no matter what he does, it'll never change a thing. We haven't had one good lead on Yellow Eyes or Eve since we saw your father. The longer we're at this, the more helpless he feels. You guys have been doing this your whole life with no hope for an end. More demons and monsters are just gonna keep coming, and that bus is gonna keep driving off that cliff. Why should he bother stopping it?"

"It's just a phase. One thing Dean isn't, is helpless...except when it comes to you. He has no control over what you decide. You were a game changer, Bella. You are the light at the end of the tunnel, the reason he'll keep doing this. You make it all mean something. Not to put the pressure on or anything..." he laughed nervously and tossed me a half-grin "...but everything is sorta riding on you. Not just the fate of the world, but his too."

"Sam..." I squeezed my eyes shut and tensed my jaw. We had been down this road before. He was always trying to tell me how much Dean needed me but every time I thought I was getting through, he'd do something to just push me away. Our physical relationship may have been developing nicely, but he was still emotionally stunted.

"Hear me out. Dean's never really had anything at stake before; he's always done the job, and he does it well, but now he has you, and he can't just get by going from one hunt to the next anymore. Each one brings us closer and closer to Eve..." I felt his hands on my shoulders and opened my eyes to look at him "...and makes it glaringly obvious that he could lose you."

His face was so serious, his eyes slightly pained. He actually believed it to. My mouth hung open a bit, completely flabbergasted that either of them would think that. "I will never choose to follow Eve."

Sam looked away and frowned. "We know that, Bella. I'm not even talking about that. You see what this life is. We can't put roots down anywhere, and we're always on the run. Between the crummy motels and the fast food, we're pretty much living on the bottom. Our quality of life sucks. After awhile, it changes a person." He tilted his head to the side and winced slightly. "I can't even say that. We're not people. We're hunters. We're whatever job we're doing that day. Dean's scared that you're gonna be like us...just another soldier. He's terrified of losing everything he loves about you."

I took a step back and scoffed. "Dean doesn't love me," I stated flatly. Maybe he did, but there was no way he was ready to admit that to himself, let alone me. "Whatever we have is..." I pursed my lips, trying to find the right words to describe what we were "...it's complicated."

"It doesn't have to be."

I smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Have you met your brother?" We had both started chuckling and as if on cue, Dean walked right through the door. Shifty eyes from Dean and awkward smiles between Sam and I, the tension had whipped through the stagnant motel air like rip tide.

~o~

Remembering what the Shtriga case did to Dean and Sam's insight into Dean's behavior, I finally realized what my current attitude was doing to him. While I had every right to be upset about Edward's death, my anger was misplaced. I was pushing Dean away, and proving that no matter what he did it wouldn't help. The conversation unraveling in the front seat quickly began to escalate into dangerous territory. It was only a matter of time before they brought up the huge elephant in the room: Edward's death. While I had forgiven them both for the individual parts they played, I wasn't sure how I'd handle reliving it through their words. Wrapping my arms around myself and shrugging into my shoulders, I felt the familiar tightness in my chest as Sam's words caused the tension to rise at an alarming rate.

"Did you do it because you didn't think she would or because you didn't think she could handle it?"

"Does it even matter?" Dean asked bitterly. I sneaked a glance and watched as he turned away from Sam and stared headlong out the windshield." I did what had to be done. She's been through enough, don't ya think?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Her load's heavy enough, Sammy. Why add his death to the pile? She'd hate herself, Sam."

"But it's okay for you to hate yourself?" Sam's voice was tinged with disgust.

Dean let out a huff followed by a bitter laugh. "Well, it's something I'm good at."

Sam's frustration was evident from the loud grinding of his teeth. Since getting through to Dean seemed futile, he changed the subject. "Do you really think she would have done it? Killed Edward? It wasn't Yellow Eyes. It was him. He was coherent and in control of himself at the very end." My breath caught in my throat when he finally asked what had been on my mind this whole time.

The leather of the steering wheel squeaked in protest as Dean tightened his grip. "I don't know. If the tables were turned...if I had to be the one to kill her...I don't think I could have done it."

I took that moment to finally get myself together and sit up. Clearly, they were too deep in thought to realize I had woken up so I piped in. "I was ready to do it...not because he begged me to, not because if I didn't, I would have chosen to be turned. I was gonna do it for you, Dean." I let the weight of my words hang in the air.

It wasn't a secret confession but a fact. I wanted to save him; I wanted to love him. He stared at me in the mirror, his eyes tight and lips set in a hard line. I wore a cool mask on the outside even though every fiber of my body raged within. We were both so stubborn and too self-sacrificing. He'd rather have me hate him than allow me to feel an ounce of guilt over Edward's death, and I was willing to give up my humanity―fate of the world be damned―as long as his life was spared. That didn't even make sense anymore under the clarity of daylight. If I gave in to Eve and Lucifer ended up being sprung from his cage, where would that leave Dean? We couldn't continue like this. Something had to give, and if that meant being brave and finally telling him the truth about how I really felt, I'd do it. We had faced some of the scariest monsters H.P. Lovecraft couldn't even think up. Why was I so scared to tell him I loved him when it came so easy to me?

An hour later, we pulled into the parking lot of a Motel 6. After checking in, Dean and I walked silently toward the room while Sam stopped in the convenience store next door to grab some food for us. He walked into the room a few minutes later with a tray full of coffee and a bag of snacks hanging from his arm, a newspaper in his other hand. Dean had conveniently submersed himself in a Chuck Norris movie, and I buried my face behind my laptop, catching up on some online classes and sending a quick email to Charlie and Renee. Sam caused more noise than necessary placing the snacks and coffee tray down on the small table in hopes of grabbing our attention. When neither of us made a move to even acknowledge his presence, he pulled out a chair and made a little bit of a production out of opening up the paper and reading it. Between the grunts and the explosions on the television and Sam's loud turning of the pages, I finally shut the laptop and glared at him. I had to give him some credit; at least he was trying. If it were any other situation, I would have loved Sam's help putting Dean in his place. Heck, maybe I'd even asked for it, but this was something we had to get through on our own. I only hoped we had as much courage as the fearless soldiers we portrayed to handle the truth.

I caught a slight glimmer in Sam's eyes. The tension between Dean and me had really started to wear him down. His normal, comforting smile had been replaced with a sad thin line. This was the first time I saw the spark that first drew me to the man I now considered my best friend.

Quirking an eyebrow, I silently called him on his game. "You got something there, Sam?"

A wide smile spread across his face as he grabbed the paper and hurried over to me. "Actually I do." Dean muted the television and turned to face us but didn't say anything. "I'm not really sure what we're up against, but it's definitely something."

He laid the paper out on the mattress and pointed to the front page. I shuddered, reading the headline. "That's disgusting!" I brought the back of my hand to my mouth to prevent myself from throwing up as I read the article.

Dean finally came over to the bed to see what had shocked me. My back was toward him but it didn't prevent my body from reacting to his proximity. My pulse quickened and as he let out a chuckle, his warm breath fanning over my neck, causing my skin to prickle. I craned my neck, giving him an incredulous look.

He walked over to the table for a minute and came back with an open a bag of Munchos and started crunching. "Come on," he said with a full mouth. "That's kind of funny. A couple literally eating each other to death. I mean I love eating pus..."

Sam gave Dean a warning look, and I just turned red. He quickly redirected the conversation. "Look, no matter how much you're into a person, how hot and heavy things can get...there's no way you could actually eat them."

My jaw still hung loosely as I tried to recover from what Dean had alluded to. I couldn't afford to think about being physical with him right now.

For the first time in awhile, Sam's eyes lit up. "So you agree. This is definitely a job."

"I guess it looks that way." Dean shrugged, not really caring either way. We hadn't planned on doing a job; we just wanted somewhere to crash for the night. He started to walk back toward the couch but Sam stopped him.

Smiling brightly, he asked, "What do you think? Demon? Spell? Ghost possession?"

Okay, Sam was getting a little too excited to be working a case, but maybe that was exactly what we needed to get back to being us. I wasn't particularly fond of confronting whatever it was that had caused this specific blood bath. Something about a couple managing to eat each other's hearts out right before Valentine's Day didn't sit right with me.

Deciding he didn't have a choice in the matter, Dean begrudgingly shut off the television and dug in his duffel bag for John's journal. Sam already had a few books strewn across the table, the one on his lap focusing on witchcraft.

I needed a break from surfing the internet and was curious where Sam's research had taken him. Sometimes it was like we shared the same brain; he would get an idea and I would just roll with it, and it usually led to a break in the case. This particular research session was a little awkward considering we still weren't on speaking terms. Besides our quick exchange in the car, Sam hadn't said to words two me. Sam had always played mediator but he knew how volatile things were between Dean and me. If he had said the wrong thing, tried to get me to talk before I was ready, he knew it would be a huge setback—for all of us. He was always very calculating and I shouldn't have mistaken his silence for weakness. He was planning something.

Even though Dean had remained completely silent, his eyes said more than his words ever could. His stare beat down on me while I had my nose buried in a book. Most of the time, the stolen glances were filled with guilt and regret, pity even. I lifted my head, but before he had a chance to look away our eyes met, and the air vanished from my lungs. Hope. Hazel green eyes shining, lips slightly twitching and I knew. We'd be okay.

I rubbed my eyes, trying to clear the blurriness from them. All of the letters on the screen started to blend together and I could barely make anything out anymore. A sharp stabbing pain had started at the base of my head and finally made its way to my forehead. I pinched the bridge of my nose hoping to release some of the tension but it wasn't working. Finally, I let out a long sigh, admitting defeat and succumbing to the headache, and closed my laptop.

"Leaning toward a love spell gone wrong?" I gestured to the book on Sam's lap.

His theories were probably better than mine. After all that research, I couldn't find any other cases that were similar to the one we were working on. Maybe it really was just an isolated case and it was possible this wasn't a gig for us. I knew people...humans...were capable of monstrous things. There had been several cases of cannibalism over the years. _Jeffrey Dahmer, anyone? _

Sam snapped the book shut and ran a hand through his shaggy hair. "It's my best guess." A smile worked its way onto his face as he let out a chuckle. "Unless someone is taking their love for Lady GaGa a bit too far..."

My eyes went wide as my jaw fell to the floor. Sam listened to Lady GaGa?! "Wow, Sam! I didn't take you for a follower of Mother Monster." I shook my head, laughing to myself.

He rolled his eyes at me. "It was a joke. The whole 'he ate my heart. He a-a-a-ate my heart out' part...I thought it was fitting." He smiled sheepishly at me. "Seriously, though, this case has me just as stumped as you are."

Dean shot up from the bed and raced over to Sam. "Hold up. You did not just quote a pop princess with a penis! Your man card is officially revoked, dude."

I couldn't help but crack a smile. Lowering my head, I tried to stifle my laughter, but Dean caught me and smiled warmly at me. My heart started to flutter like the wings of a bird beating wildly against its cage. The blush on my cheeks was always a tell, and Dean took notice. His tongue darted out across his lower lip and he lowered his own head, smirking at my reaction. I started to chew on my lip and looked at him from the corner of my eye. His thumb was brushing across his bottom lip as he stole a similar side glance from me. I couldn't deny the butterflies I felt as we shared the same space. No good could come from thinking about Dean devouring me with just one look or remembering how good it felt to be in his arms, his lips, his hands tangled in my hair. That huge elephant was still in the room and there was no way I could entertain those kind of thoughts without talking to Dean first. If all it took was one innocent smile to get me going, I would have to conduct the conversation through a brick wall with a chastity belt firmly in place. It was nice to know all it took was our mutual disdain for Sam's taste in music to open the path of communication.

"Alright, laugh it up, guys. Now can we actually talk about what could have caused this?"

I put my hands up. "I've got nothing. Honestly, I'm even inclined to think this wasn't meant for us...except for this nagging feeling that it's too close to Valentine's Day to not be something of the supernatural variety."

Dean stepped closer to me and sat down on the edge of my bed, only a few inches from me. I smiled shyly, accepting his closeness as another way of us getting back on track. He looked at me with seriousness his eyes. "You think that has something to do with it?"

It was like he was looking at me for the first time. Pure wonder and a small smile as he tried to figure out how my brain worked. Just the fact the pain that had been there was almost nonexistent made me feel like I could finally breathe. He was back. The Dean I had fallen for was slowly finding his way back into my heart. Maybe the talk wouldn't be as difficult as I thought it would be.

Sam had started speaking but Dean's eyes and mine never left one another. It was the first time we had made any sort of connection and it felt better than home. I slowly sucked my lower lip into my mouth and side eyed him when his stare became too much, the heat of it like liquid fire coursing through my veins.

"Guys! Are you even listening?" Sam stood directly in front of us with his hands on his hips.

Dean finally looked away, a perfect smirk still left on his face. "What was that, Sammy?"

Sam tried to look frustrated, but I could tell he was fighting back his own smile. "You know Valentine's Day isn't really about love and chocolate, right?"

"Don't forget those conversational hearts. Nothing says 'I love you' like a piece of candy that says 'Sweet Talk'. You know, I think I've heard better pickup lines from you, Sammy."

"Funny." Sam turned his back to Dean and faced me, knowing it was pointless to waste his breath engaging him.

I nodded, letting him know I was still following. The quicker he got it out, the quicker we could find out what we were up against. I couldn't help the small smile that played on my lips as I listened. If I was being honest I didn't only miss Sam's easygoing nature or Dean's silly banter. I missed all of it, how they played off of each other, how I threw in a few one liners, how we felt like we all belonged together, how we were a family.

Sam paced back and forth excitedly as he continued reading from the book. He lifted his head with a wide smile. "So when you think about it, it's kind of funny how a holiday all about love stemmed from one of the most sexually perverted Pagan festivals."

"And leave it to the church to twist it to their agenda. They put their own holy spin on it and turned something just about sex into this loving farce. Apparently the were too good for..." My hand flew over my mouth and I widened my eyes. "Oh my God! Eve."

"What are you talking about?" Sam and Dean said in unison.

"You think she's behind this?" Dean shot up off the bed and stood next to Sam as they both looked slightly worried.

"I can't be sure. But we know all about the ax she has to grind with the big man upstairs." I put my hands behind me and pushed off the mattress and began my own pacing around the room. "This has her written all over it. I just don't know how. I mean why would she care about some Hallmark holiday with flowers and cute little angels...angels...what if..." I stopped in my tracks and looked up at Sam and Dean "...what if Cupid really exists? We know angels are real..."

"What the hell was with that guy anyway?" Dean interrupted with a nervous laugh. "He looked like some type of holy tax accountant in that suit and trench coat. And the eyes..." He did an over-exaggerated shiver "...I felt dirty after he looked at me."

Sam shot Dean an icy glare. He was always easily sidetracked and Sam was usually the one to bring him back to the task at hand since I only encouraged him with a witty comeback. "Bella, please finish what you were saying. I think you may be on to something."

I quickly looked at Dean, who was still shivering over how the blue eyed angel had a tendency to stare at you for long periods of time, before turning my attention to Sam. "Castiel is supposedly an angel, right? Maybe Cupid is one of his buddies and he can tell us what the hell is going on here." "

The lights began to flicker and the air in the room thinned out. It didn't feel cooler like when a ghost was close by, just different. I inhaled deeply and the air felt thick as I swallowed it down, almost as if the atmosphere had to change in order to accommodate something so much bigger. As we took in the flickering lights, we felt a heavy a gust of wind followed by a loud flapping of wings. Sam and I turned around while Dean protectively folded his arms across his chest. Castiel stood in front of us, those startling blue eyes staring back at us.

He set his gaze on Dean and lowered his head slightly. "Dean, are you cold?"

Dean gave him a disgusted look and shook his head. He brought his hand up to cover his face as he turned to me, widened his eyes, and mouthed the word, "See?"

"You are correct, Bella." Castiel barely moved his gaze from Dean as he spoke to me. "Cupid is very much real."

Dean's jaw went a little slack as he narrowed his eyes, scoffing. "The little flying fat kid in diapers is real?"

Castiel tilted his head to the side and stared harder at Dean. "He is not incontinent."

"Okay, so what you're saying is..." Sam calmly tried to redirect the conversation so we could get to the bottom of this as quick as possible.

Castiel turned to Sam. "This 'Cupid' as you call him is just one of many. Cupids are actually a lower order of angel. Cherubs―third class, really. There are at least a dozen of them all over the world, sent here to do the work of heaven. I suggest you visit the morgue to determine whether this is the work of a rogue cupid or something worse."

"What could be worse than..."

Before Dean had a chance to finish his question Castiel was gone, only leaving the echo of beating wings. I didn't even want to think about what could be worse than a rogue cupid, flying around, shooting off his arrows at random people, and making them kill each other instead of love each other. Everyone deserved a chance at love but at what cost?

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E/N – There you have it. Hope it was worth the wait. I've obviously taken a lot of liberties with the 'My Bloody Valentine' episode. Special prize for those who know the significance of the chapter title. Reviews are better than rocking out to Lady Gaga with Sam. Part two coming soon to a computer near you.


	19. When I Find You, I Find Me

A/N – I know you've all been anxious for this so I'll just get to it. Thank you to my Team Bean girls and everyone that reads this! See you at the bottom...I've got exciting news!

This chapter is brought to you by Joshua Radin's _When You Find Me. _Listen to the song! You won't be sorry.

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_My only weakness is knowing your secrets and holding them close, and holding them tight._

**Chapter 19 – When I Find You, I Find Me**

Early the next morning, we suited up and ventured out to the city morgue. Sam and Dean owned the jacket and tie, but I felt like a little girl trying to play dress up with her mother's clothes. Luckily, the other cases we had worked hadn't called for the FBI con so my plain clothes were fine. Since they didn't just let anyone into the morgue, we needed to look as professional as possible.

I'd be joining Agents Sixx and Neil as Junior Agent Ford. I did an internal eye roll at Dean's insistence at using ridiculous rock aliases. Did he really think no one would catch on? Hell, I was barely a glimmer in my parents eyes in the eighties, and even I caught the Mötley Crüe reference. I eyed him skeptically when he informed me I'd be Agent Ford. Whether he was running out of names or he was trying to send me some hidden message, I didn't know. I couldn't help but wonder if he was...after all, everyone knew Nikki Sixx and Lita Ford not only lived together for awhile, but they also had a relationship.

Realizing I had nothing suitable to wear posing as an FBI agent, I asked Sam and Dean to drop me off at a department store while they went on a run for some food last night. I had rushed around and picked up a skirt, a fitted blouse, and a pair of heels without even bothering to try it on. We were short on time and needed to get to the bottom of the case before anyone else died.

I felt a pang in my chest when I hopped in the front seat and saw Dean wasn't driving. Even though we had broken the ice by ribbing Sam and shared the same creeped out vibe when it came to robotesque Castiel, things still weren't perfect between us. Instead of just staying in the car, Dean chose to go out of his way and stop at the motel after picking up dinner. He hardly ever let Sam drive the Impala, so knowing he'd rather hand over the keys than spend any extra time with me hurt. I clutched my bag between my knees and looked down at the floor mat.

"Find everything you needed?" Sam asked softly.

I kept my head down and nodded silently.

Before pulling away from the curb, Sam turned to face me. I lifted my eyes to meet his worried ones. "Dean just figured it would be better...quicker...if he stayed back."

"Right...better..." I answered bitterly.

"This is hard for him too, Bella."

I snapped my head to him, my eyes hardening. "Really, Sam? Because I think this is easy for him. I think he's doing what he does best...shut down. It's always been two steps forward, one step back, and I could handle that because it was progress! But now...now there's no moving forward. I'm the one that has to put my neck out there. I'm the one that's gonna get hurt and for what? A broken heart?"

"Wait!" Sam squinted his eyes in concentration. "So this isn't about Edward?"

"What? No...why would..." I let out a long exasperated sigh. "I didn't want him to die...but I knew he had to, whether it be by my hand or not."

Closing my eyes and fighting back the tears at the memory of watching Dean's tortured face as he swung the machete across Edward's neck and the peaceful smile on Edward's face as he accepted his death, I took a slow, calming breath. My eyes were slightly watery when I turned back to Sam. "This is about Dean. It always has been. Why couldn't he wait, Sam? Why couldn't he trust me?"

Sam's eyes shifted toward the road as he slowly put the car into drive and headed toward the motel. After a few minutes of awkward silence he finally spoke.

"It's not that he didn't trust you. He was trying to protect you." His normally soft voice was laced with aggravation.

Okay, so Sam was on the offense too. This wasn't going to be as easy as I had hoped. Normally, Sam was so understanding but something must have happened after he dropped me off. Maybe Dean said something or maybe he was just tired of being our mediator. I faced him and narrowed my eyes, the heat of my glare finally causing him to look at me.

"Yeah, well no one asked him to." The acid on my tongue made it hard to swallow. I shouldn't be taking it out on him but I couldn't help myself.

Surprised by my tone, Sam's jaw went slack as he continued to drive down the road. I looked over to him apologetically.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you. I'm not even mad at him." I looked out the window watching the trees whip by as I worked through my emotions. While I had plenty of time to go over them in my head, speaking them out loud was a whole other ball game.

"Bella..." Sam's pained expression told me he also felt bad for snapping at me.

I put a hand up so he would know an apology was unnecessary. "I get it." I laughed through the words. "If anyone understands where he's coming from, it's me. You know, I used to get so angry at Edward for doing the same thing, protecting me from myself and taking away all of my choices for the sake of keeping me safe." I let out a long sigh. It was coming out a lot easier than I had thought. The words didn't hold the same power over me as they would have a year ago. I couldn't tell if I had finally and truly forgiven him or I just let all the anger go with the finality of his death. He only ever wanted me happy and maybe he always saw what I refused to believe. I would never be happy with him.

Sam's face softened as he nodded in understanding.

I mustered a sad smile as I continued to explain. "I know why he did it. Where Edward did it for selfish reasons because he couldn't stand the thought of being the one to hurt me, Dean did something incredibly hard just so I wouldn't have to...because he knew what it would do to me." My nose started to run as a tear rolled down my cheek. As much as Dean didn't want me to shoulder the burden of Edward's death, I couldn't help but feel like maybe I deserved to carry that weight.

If it weren't for me, Edward would still be alive. All of the Cullens would still be alive. They gave up everything for me...even when I was never meant to be with Edward. Wherever they were I hoped they knew how much they meant to me.

We were at a red light when Sam finally looked over to me. He gasped as the tears continued to fall. "Bella, why are you crying?"

"Because I never asked for any of this." The pain, the loss that I never expressed was spilling out from my eyes and my heart. My cries got louder and I shook through the tumultuous sobs wracking my body. "They're all dead because of me and now Dean has to live with more guilt, more regret..." I sucked in a shaky breath "...because of me...and Eve's breathing down our neck, just waiting for me to slip up...and..."

Sam reached out his hand and squeezed just above my knee. "Just try and breathe." He motioned with his hands as he started breathing slowly, and I followed his lead. My body finally stopped convulsing, and I was able to compose myself for a minute.

I scrubbed my hands over my face and sniffled. "It's just..."

"None of this is your fault. They would have done it all over again given the chance, no matter the cost, even Dean." My shoulders slumped forward, the weight of their actions too much to bear. Sam smiled sadly when I shot him a look of pure guilt.

He pulled into the spot in front of our motel room and put the car in park, pausing to look at me. "I can't speak for the Cullens, but I'm willing to bet regardless of whether or not you and Edward were together they would have done anything to keep you safe. I know my brother. He didn't just do this because he felt like he had to. You're not the burden you think you are...you're everything."

Sam had cut the engine, effectively silencing the comforting purr I was concentrating on. I'd rather focus on that then the meaning behind his words. I grabbed a hold of my bag and got out of the car. The sky had started to spit a drizzle down on me, and I couldn't help the sarcastic laugh slipping past my lips. The hopefulness in Sam's voice contrasted with the harsh sting of the rain only added to irony of it all. It was like Mother Nature reminded me that even if the sun was shining, there was no way I could avoid the lightening. With one last look toward the wet, inky night, I had held my head high, letting it wash every fear, every guilt ridden burden away and finally accepted my fate—whatever that may be.

After a restless night filled with tossing and turning and waking up every hour only to see Dean huddled in a small recliner trying to sleep, I decided to get up and sneak into the bathroom to get ready uninterrupted. I sat up and looked over to my left at a still sleeping, still snoring Sam sprawled out on his back on the bed next to mine. Reaching in between the nightstand and my bed, I grabbed my purchases from the previous night. I shivered as my feet hit the cold linoleum floor, and I slowly padded across the room toward the bathroom. I paused as I walked past Dean whose neck was angled in an awkward position. His body shifted uncomfortably in the chair and the worry lines on his brow were very prominent. I backtracked and grabbed the throw from my bed and placed it over him, gently smoothing out the wrinkles. My eyes landed on his jaw and the fresh scruff. I squeezed my hand into a fist to stop my fingers from itching to touch his face and erase the tension I had obviously caused. Finally, I forced my body to move and started to turn around to make my way to the bathroom. My footfalls echoed throughout the silent room—no snoring, no movement. As eerie as the quiet was, it was also reassuring; it meant there were no early morning nightmares to contend with. Before I had a chance to relish in the serenity, a breathy whisper broke through the air.

"_Bella..." _

The peacefulness and ease at which my name fell from his lips made my heart swell. Even in the deepest depths of my grief, I never stopped thinking about him, and I took great comfort in knowing I was on his mind, unconscious or not.

After a hot shower that did nothing to relieve my stress, I toweled off and started to get dressed. With shaky hands, my fingers fumbled with the buttons on the cream colored blouse. I couldn't stop thinking about the meaning behind Dean's slip of the tongue. It wasn't that he never dreamed about me; his daydreams had been quite vivid when he decided to let me in. I could only imagine what nighttime fantasies included, not that he'd ever act on them. A soft blush filled my cheeks when I thought about the last time we had been physical. As good as it had felt, I couldn't help but be saddened by it. No matter how hard I pressed him for what I wanted, he never gave in. Maybe he held back because he knew what was to come, that he'd have to kill Edward, and he thought I would hate him and always look back with regret. Or maybe was never about him—it was always about me.

I struggled to brush on a quick coat of mascara, fighting the tears welling up in my eyes. Just thinking about the unnecessary torture Dean had put himself through, all for the sake of keeping me away from an ounce of hurt, cut through the foolish muscle in its cage of bone. When would he realize protecting me caused as much pain as letting me feel? Twisting my hair around my finger, I wrapped into a tight bun and secured it with a few bobby pins at the nape of my neck.

Pursing my lips, I dabbed on some lipstick. I took a step back in the way too high, black peep-toe pumps and nervously tucked the tail of my silk blouse into the skirt. Despite my haste, I had managed to grab a skirt that fit me like a glove with hardly any room for forgiveness. The form-fitting black fabric stretched across my bottom and thighs and narrowed just above the knee. My mouth formed a sad smile as I thought about how proud Alice would be, her golden eyes gleaming while she pranced me around, showing off her handy work. I felt my eyes tearing up, and I quickly bat my lashes to force them away before my makeup started to run. Although my reflection looked good, professional even, I could help but feel like I was out of my element and without Alice as my crutch, telling me how good I looked, I was feeling anxious. My wobbly ankles and stiffness screamed liar. This wasn't me. I wasn't even out the door and I had already missed my jeans and Converse sneakers. Maybe if I just stood there smiling and nodding like a deaf fool, maybe I'd get through this con without anyone being the wiser.

I walked out the bathroom with as much confidence as I could muster. If I fell apart in front of Dean and Sam, the whole morgue trip would be a disaster. All of the previous jobs went so smoothly there wasn't really a reason to be so nervous. I chalked it up to actually impersonating a federal officer. I always had the utmost respect for authority figures thanks to Charlie. God, what would he think if he ever found out I posed as an FBI agent?

Dean was just finishing tying his tie when he noticed me. Looking up, his eyes followed the lines of my bare legs, up my thighs, and rested on the modest neckline of the blouse. I stood in the middle of the floor, unmoving, hardly breathing, feeling like I was on display. He swallowed thickly before turning away and packing up the rest of his things and leaving the room silently. Sam shrugged into his suit jacket and came up behind me.

"Come on, let's go."

My body was still on fire from Dean's smoldering stare, and I found it hard to get my legs to work. Sam picked up my bag as well as his and guided me out the room, carefully shutting the door behind us.

~o~

"You gotta stop fidgeting, sweetheart. It's dead giveaway." Dean smirked over his shoulder as he waited at the front desk.

I balled my hands into fists to stop picking at my cuticles. Sam stood by Dean's side with a smile plastered on his face. Maybe sitting down was a better idea as I noted how uncomfortable I must have looked on the five inch heels. I walked over to the little bench up against the wall and watched Dean and Sam suavely and smoothly interact with the receptionist. While I watched the curly haired, big busted, Barbie wannabe twirl her hair around her pink manicured finger, my knee started to bounce uncontrollably. Finally the annoying woodpecker giggles stopped, and she got up to get her boss. I didn't miss the fact that Dean didn't watch her walk away. Smiling victoriously, I stood up, pressed my shoulders back, and strutted over to Dean's side.

A short rotund older man with shiny red cheeks came over to us.

Putting his hand out, Dean smiled. "Dr. Corman, we spoke on the phone. I'm Agent Sixx and this is Agent Neil and Junior Agent Ford. We're here to see the bodies of that double suicide."

Dr. Corman waddled down the corridor and opened the morgue door for us. A gust of cold air hit us and I could feel my nipples harden against the soft fabric of my shirt. The delicate silk of the blouse and the flimsy cotton of the only bra I owned didn't leave much to the imagination. The good doctor was more focused on my chest than leading us to the bodies.

Dean cleared his throat loudly. "The bodies, Dr. Corman."

"Yes, yes of course," Dr. Corman replied, shuffling his way over to the slab but still never letting his eyes leave me.

Sam walked over to the body of the female victim and noticed she was already sewn up. He looked expectantly at the doctor. "You already did an autopsy?"

Dr. Corman tore his eyes away from me and Dean took the opportunity to take his suit jacket off and drape it over my shoulders, the lapels effectively covering my chest. He rubbed his hands along my arms before slowly backing away. I smiled shyly, silently thanking him for protecting me from the leering doctor.

"I finished my prelims yesterday and sent the tox samples out. The organs are still here if you wanted to take a look at those. I'm not sure what you think you're going to find. Everything seemed to check out..."

"Thanks, doc," Dean said gruffly, cutting him off.

Dr. Corman slowly backed toward the door. "Just leave the keys with Marcy at the front desk when you're done."

Once he had left, I took Dean's jacket off and went to hand it back to him. He put a hand up to stop me. "Why don't you keep it. You know I hate these monkey suits." He gave me a side smirk.

Sam rolled up his sleeves and put on a pair of rubber gloves and started going through the Tupperware bin of organs. He furrowed his brow as he held one heart in his left hand and inspected the other heart in a silver dish on the examination table.

"This is definitely something," he said, prodding the heart on the table. "They both have identical marks."

Dean and I walked over to the table to take a closer look. He cringed slightly at the bloody mass in front of him. I somehow found myself no longer fainting at the sight of blood. I guess it paled in comparison to seeing someone that you cared about have their head chopped off in front of you.

"You know what it means yet, Sammy?"

"No..." he held the hearts up side by side "...I've never seen anything like it before."

"I have," I whispered.

They both spun around to face me, shock etched on their face. "Are you a closet cryptologist?" Dean raised an eyebrow, smirking.

"It's angelic. I've seen it before when Castiel did his weird transportation thing. All sorts of symbols illuminated in fire flew through my mind. It makes me kind of nauseous actually."

Sam was about to open his mouth to speak but another gust of wind whipped around us and the flapping of wings echoed through the room.

"Sorry about that," Castiel answered flatly.

Dean straightened his shoulders and stalked over to me, putting space between Castiel and me. "So it was one of your guys that did this!"

Castiel strained his eyes. "A cupid left these marks but I can assure you, he did not kill these people."

"So what are they? I mean, what do they mean?" Sam asked.

Walking over to the table, Castiel picked up the hearts without any gloves. The marks began to glow and he tilted his head to the side. "It's a mark of union. This man and woman were intended to mate."

Dean stood next to Castiel and held up the Tupperware bin, motioning for him to drop the organs. "Alright, so how do we find this guy?"

The hearts fell with a squishy plop and Castiel looked around the room. "I could summon him...but he may not come. It's a busy time of year for him."

"I don't care how busy he is. You make him come before..."

Dean's voice trailed off and darkness consumed me. My stomach started to churn as my head began to spin. Glowing angelic symbols ran through my mind faster than the words at the beginning of Star Wars. When I stopped seeing stars and the dizziness was lifted, I took in our surroundings: industrial sized, stainless steel stoves, hanging pots and pans, fresh vegetables and meats set out on a long, narrow table for preparation. It appeared we were in an empty kitchen of a restaurant. Stumbling around with a hand firmly pressed on his forehead, Dean searched for something to steady himself. He grabbed the edge of the steel table top and accidentally knocked off a bowl. The loud clattering as it hit the floor finally snapped him out of his daze.

"You weren't kidding, sweetheart. I think I'm going to be sick."

Sam's large form was resting against the refrigerator. "Where are we?"

Castiel stuck his head through the swinging doors and took a peek at the crowded restaurant. I caught a glimpse of several couples sharing glasses of wine, fancy dinners, and the occasional kiss.

Quickly, he shut the door, a panicked look on his face. "This place is a nexus of human reproduction. It's exactly the kind of garden the cupid will come to..." he carefully looked between Dean and me "...to pollinate."

"What are you talking about?" Sam walked over and opened the door for himself. This time the door was open more than a crack and I took in the whole room. Now one of the couples was engaged in a hot and heavy make out session. I was never a fan for PDAs but to each his own. What started out as gentle kissing and some innocent touching was now full blown foreplay on top of the table. I watched as each couple slowly began to pick up the pace, trying to out do the other...like an infectious disease spreading throughout the restaurant.

Sam looked at the crowd and then back at Dean and me. Worry worked its way onto his forehead. He swiftly shut the door and protectively stood in front of the exit. "I see what you mean."

"I don't," I said stalking toward the door to get a better view of the love intoxicated mob outside. "It's Valentine's Day. Of course people are going to be all lovey dovey."

"Come on, Bella. You know it's more than just that." I tried to worm under Sam's arm but he sidestepped and blocked me again.

I guess I was still a hopeless romantic and wanted to believe in love. Even though the proof was right in front of me, I didn't want to believe that something as pure as love could be twisted into something so deadly.

Castiel shook his head before lowering it his head. "The pollination is happening at an accelerated speed. Something is going very wrong with these bonds."

"Well, how do we stop it?" Dean's stern voice brought me back to the matter at hand.

A language that didn't sound like anything I had ever heard started flowing from Castiel's mouth. "Zoda kama mahrana. Manifest yourself." He lifted his head and said, "I have him tethered."

Sam looked around the room. "Cas, where is he?"

Dean rolled his eyes and started for the door. "Well, that wor...ooof!"

Just as Dean was tackled to the ground by a half-naked, overweight, Baby Huey looking man, a boisterous, childlike voice answered, "Here I am!"

"A little help here!" Dean yelled as he struggled against the cupid's embrace.

I took my time walking over to him. He looked completely horrified as he thrashed against the hairy chest of the man-boy-child.

"Oh, help is on the way. Yes, it is. Yes, it is." Cupid looked around Dean and noticed Castiel standing unmoved, a serene mask on his face. He quickly released Dean and floated over to him. Maybe I imagined the floating, but there was definitely a bounce in his step. "Hello, you!"

He bent over, a nice plumber's crack blinding me, and picked Castiel up in a bear hug.

"Oh...ermmm." A pained expression formed on Castiel's face as he let the cupid hug him awkwardly, finally sighing when he was released.

Dean let out a chuckle. "So this is Cupid?"

"Yes," Castiel replied in his monotone voice and with a slight eye roll. Did I imagine a bit of disgust there? Maybe the angel was finally acting more like the human vessel he possessed than a robot.

Cupid flitted over to Sam and gave him a once over. "And look at you, huh?" A large smile formed on his face.

"No..." Sam slowly started to back away.

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" Cupid suddenly appeared right in front of him and wrapped his arms around Sam.

Dean looked over to Castiel and then at his brother who was cringing in Cupid's arms. "Is this a fight? Are we in a fight?"

I couldn't help but giggle. All of the men had been "attacked" by Cupid and were thoroughly flustered by the guy. I thought he was kind of cute in a "I just want to be loved" kind of way. Maybe he'd end up helping Dean with his intimacy issues.

"This is..." Castiel grumbled and looked over to Sam who was slowly having the life squeezed out of him by a giant, overzealous man-baby "...their handshake."

"I don't like it." Dean shuddered at the memory of his close encounter.

"No one likes it," Castiel replied.

Cupid dropped Sam and popped back over to Castiel. "What can I do for you?"

Castiel narrowed his eyes at him. "Why are you doing this?"

The overweight man's eyes looked confused. "Doing what?"

Castiel let out a huff. "Your targets...the ones you've marked...they're slaughtering each other."

Cupid let out a gasp, complete shock etched on his chubby face. "What? They are?"

Dean went to grab Cupid but paused, realizing he'd have to touch his nakedness. He got as close as he could without being uncomfortable and I smirked, shaking my head. "Listen, birthday suit, we know, okay? We know you've been flittin' around, poppin' people with your poison arrow, making them murder each other!"

"We don't know why," Castiel added in a firm voice. I was just tickled at how riled up the men were getting. Cupid seemed pretty harmless to me, and I really believed he had no idea what was happening with his targets.

The tears started to fall as Cupid spoke between sobs. "You think that I...well, uh...I don't know what to say." His whole body shook as his cries echoed through the kitchen.

Sam cringed a bit at the grown man crying. "Should...should someone maybe..." he lowered his voice "...maybe go talk to him?"

Castiel, Dean, and Sam turned around to look at me. "Oh no!" I threw my hands up in the air, barely able to control my laughter. "This is all you guys. I'm not the one that hurt his feelings."

Dean glared at me before turning to face Castiel. "Give 'em hell, Cas."

Castiel walked over to the inconsolable Cupid. "Um...look, we didn't mean to...um..." he looked expectantly at me and I motioned for him to continue "...hurt your feelings." He ended it with a raised eye brow and a forced smile, hoping his apology was enough.

I shook my head. Maybe he didn't get the whole acting like a human thing after all.

Cupid pulled Castiel into him and hugged him, dancing from side to side with Castiel in his arms. "Oh thank you, brother!"

He put Castiel back on his feet and looked at all of us. "Love is more than a word to me, you know. I love love." His voice got excited. "I love it! And if that's wrong, I don't want to be right!"

A loud snort burst through the air. I just couldn't contain myself. "Jeez, do all you angels have awful taste in music?"

Castiel shot me a warning look before trying to get Cupid to explain. "Yes, yes. Of course. But why are these people killing each other?"

Cupid's face saddened. "I don't know. I was just on my appointed rounds. Whatever my targets do after that...that has nothing to do with me. I...I was just following my orders. Please, brother. Read my mind. Read my mind and you'll see." Another obnoxious sob tore through his chest.

Castiel placed his fingers on Cupid's forehead and frowned. "He's telling the truth."

"So we've got nothing!" Dean let out a loud frustrated sigh.

"Jiminy Christmas! Thank you!" Cupid went to hug Castiel to show his appreciation, but I grabbed him by the arm and stopped him.

"Wait...wait! You said you were just following orders..."

A bright smile formed on Cupid's face. "Mm-hmm," he replied with pride.

"Whose orders?" I questioned.

Cupid gently tapped me on the nose and laughed. "Heaven, silly."

Dean narrowed his eyes at him. "Why does Heaven care if Harry meets Sally?"

Cupid brushed Dean's question away with a wave of his hand. "Oh, most of the time they don't. But you know...with certain bloodlines, certain destinies...Oh!" His eyes got wide and he clapped his hands together, looking at Sam and Dean with reverence. "Like yours."

Sam leaned forward and angled his head. "What?"

"Yeah, the union of John and Mary Winchester..." Cupid eyed the ceiling "...very big deal upstairs, top priority arrangement..." he looked back and focused on me before returning his gaze to Dean "...kind of like you and..."

"You're saying that you fixed-up our parents?" Dean asked in disbelief.

"Well, not me, but...yeah!" He smiled proudly. "It wasn't easier either. Ooh, they couldn't stand each other at first, but when we were done with them—perfect couple!"

"Perfect?" The harshness to Dean's tone even made Cupid falter.

"Y...yeah. Your parents were just, uh...meant to be. A match made in heaven!" He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Mom's dead!" Dean shouted in his face.

Cupid placed a hand on Dean's shoulder but Dean quickly shrugged out of it. "I'm sorry, but...the orders were very clear. You needed to be born so Bella..."

My throat started to close as panic rose in my chest. I finally realized what Cupid was trying to say before Dean had cut him off and started questioning him about his parents.

Without thinking it through I reared back and socked Cupid right in the face.

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E/N – I think the title of last chapter is a bit more clear now, no? Shot through the heart...yes, it's a Bon Jovi song, but could it be that Bella and Dean have also been shot by Cupid's arrow? Hmmm. Bella's reaction certainly makes it appear that way. Reviews are way better than creepy Cupid hugs!

***Special Announcement*** I am hosting...drum roll, please...a Supernatural/Twilight crossover contest. Visit twinaturalcontest dot wordpress dot com for more information! (just remove the spaces and add the actual dot. lol)


	20. Angels and Demons

**A/N **- Hey, guys! Long time no see. I've been swamped with work the past few weeks, so I haven't had a chance to update. Thanks for being patient. And as always, thanks to my wonderful Team Bean girls. In honor of tonight's Supernatural episode and the return of Cas, I figured I'd update. Happy Hump Day!

This chapter is brought you by Imagine Dragons song "Demons". It's perfect Dean...and Bella so give it a listen!

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_They say it's what you make. I say it's up to fate. It's woven in my soul. I need to let you go._

**Chapter 20 - Angels and Demons**

I clenched my teeth together and pushed down on my fist with the other hand to try and quell the throbbing.

"Ugh...son of a bitch!" I took slow breaths, breathing through the pain as I glared at the giant man-baby.

With one apologetic look, he silently disappeared into thin air.

"Where is he? Where the hell did he poof to?" I spun around in circles, the anger easily masking my physical pain.

Castiel frowned, his voice unimpressed. "I believe you've upset him?"

Starring at him incredulously, I let out a huff. "Upset him?" A sharp pain shot up my arm, and I took a slow breath and tried to rub my hand. "He can't just drop a bombshell like that and then just...just leave. Tell me he wasn't hinting at what I think he was."

I felt another shooting pain that almost caused me to buckle to my knees. Castiel's eyes saddened as he walked over to me. "Here, let me." He reached out his hand but I shied away. Tilting his head to the side, he said, "But I can heal you."

Holding my hand against my chest, I shouted. "Stay away from me! Don't touch me!" I looked over to Sam and Dean, equal parts of confusion and anger. The tears started to blur my vision and I turned away. "All of it? I never had a choice?" My voice broke and Castiel lowered his eyes. I took his silence as admission and squeezed my hand into a fist, savoring the pain because it was real. "You need to..."

Before I finished my words, Castiel vanished, the sound of flapping wings lingering in the air. Dean closed the space between us and gently took my injured hand. I wanted to pull away, tell him he didn't have to take care of me anymore, but despite the truth my heart had just learned, it still yearned to be close to him. He inspected it carefully before slowly dropping it, wrapping his hands around my waist, and hoisting me up onto the metal table. We remained silent while we waited for Sam to walk over with a first aid kit. Dean took out an Ace bandage.

"It's not broken, just sprained." I tried to keep from looking him in the eye as he diligently wrapped up my hand and wrist.

"Thanks," I mumbled, not lifting my eyes from the tiled floor.

"Hey..." he brushed my cheek with his knuckles and I looked up "...what's wrong? Where did bad ass Bella go? You just told off an angel and punched a cupid but you can't even look at me."

Sam looked just as pained as Dean. Did they really not know?

"I definitely didn't see that one coming," Sam said with a nervous laugh.

Dean turned and shrugged at Sam. "Why? He was a dick. You heard what he said about Mom and Dad. He got what was coming to him." Smirking, Dean gave me a nod. "Thanks for that, by the way. If you didn't do it, I would have."

I swallowed back the lump in my throat. "You...you don't know?"

His smile strangled my heart. All the trembling sweetness I loved and craved, none of it was real. The confessions whispered like prayers in the dark didn't mean a thing. He had no clue that our hearts had been hijacked.

Dean's eyes were wide and clueless as he waited for the punchline. Sam ran a hand through his hair and stared at me as I started to fall apart. I struggled for the right words but my heart twitched and thrashed in my chest, the searing pain of truth killing it one beat at a time.

"Know what, Bella?" Sam urged.

I took in a shaky breath, my lower lip quivering. "This isn't real." My face contorted in agony as my chest tore wide open and the tears started to fall. "None of it was."

Since Castiel had left us stranded, we had to walk back to the Medical Examiners office to get the Impala. It was only a few blocks away, but I even had a hard time managing that. Sam and Dean kept a swift pace while I tried to keep up. Dean shot off questions in rapid fire but when I tried to explain what happened in the restaurant kitchen only incoherent sobs came out of my mouth.

Panic washed over Dean's face as he looked over his shoulder at me and then back at Sam. "Dude, do something! You know I can't handle the tears..." he let out a long sigh and frowned "...especially from her."

"Me?" Sam widened his eyes. He shook his head with disgust. "_I've _tried to get through to her...through to both of you. It didn't work. I can't do this anymore, Dean. I can't keep being the buffer."

Dean narrowed his eyes at Sam. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I'm done. You two need to talk." He gave Dean a stern look. "I mean _really_ talk. You haven't told her yet, have you?"

Dean continued to give Sam the silent treatment for the rest of the way while I tried to smother my sobs, following closely behind them.

When we got back to the motel Dean rushed into the room while Sam waited for me, placing a gentle arm on my back and leading me into the room.

"Why don't you take a seat and try to relax." He motioned toward the recliner Dean had slept in the previous night.

I nodded and shuffled my way over to the chair. Just looking at it, remembering the internal pull I had, the way I wanted to curl up on Dean's lap and take away all his worry, made me want to cry again. That hadn't been me—it was just some angelic mark making me do those things. I always had a hard time believing that Edward could ever love me or that he was even real. Meeting the Winchesters, seeing their world, offered me a huge sense of relief and validation. Not only was it all real but I played starring role, and it had nothing to do with Edward or even Dean. Me...My choices, my actions. To find out none of it mattered, that I was merely a puppet, made me second guess everything...including my feelings for Dean. I settled into the recliner and held my breath, not wanting to breathe in his smell. Maybe it wouldn't have the same effect on me now that I knew the truth, but I couldn't take that chance. My mind needed to be clear to break the news to him.

Sam stood in the doorway glaring at Dean. "You better tell her."

Dean sucked in a sharp breath. "It's not that easy..."

If only Dean knew how easy he had it. I bet whatever he had to tell me was a cakewalk compared to the truth.

"Why? Because you've never done this before?" Sam looked at me and when my eyes caught his, there was nothing but pity there. Maybe they had finally figured out Eve's plan and it involved sacrificing me.

Dean closed his eyes and nodded slowly, and Sam put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and smiled. "It will be alright. I have faith in you...both of you."

Dean shut the door behind Sam and turned to face me. Our eyes met from across the room and he slowly made his way over to me. He knelt down in front of me and took both my hands in his.

"Bella, you need to tell me what's going on."

I looked down at our joined hands and thought about yanking mine away. Instead, I closed my eyes and tried to brand the memory into my mind, knowing it would never happen again. When I was satisfied, I pulled them away and tucked them under my thighs.

Dean frowned. "I know things are still tense between us but you don't have to shut me out."

Shaking my head, I let out a bitter laugh. "That's just it, Dean. There is no us. There never was."

He stood up, pulling me to my feet and into his chest. I could feel him breathing into my hair and it only made my heart hurt worse. Pushing myself away, I took a few steps back.

Dean looked down and mumbled to the ground. "Look, I know I'm not great at the whole sharing my feelings gig...but I'm trying. I..."

I put up a hand. "Don't. You don't have to say something you're going to regret."

"Regret?" He furrowed his eyebrows. "How could I ever..." He took one long stride and met me, our faces almost touching.

Feeling his warm breath on my skin, smelling leather and spice, I swayed on my feet. He grabbed my shoulders, stilling me. "Whatever it is you feel for me...it's not real."

"Why...why do you keep saying this isn't real? Do you think you're living in a dream?" He quickly grabbed a knife from his pocket. Slicing his forearm, he started to bleed a deep red. "See? It's real."

He took my arm and cut me to prove that I could feel pain. I didn't even wince. No cut would ever be as deep as knowing everything I believed in was a lie. Taking my good hand, that now had blood trickling down it, he placed it over his heart.

"This is real." He pushed my hand harder into his chest and begged me with his eyes. "You're making me feel things I've never felt before and that scares the hell outta me, but it doesn't make it any less real." His words faded to a barely there whisper as he wrapped his arm around me, crushing me to him and nuzzling his nose in my hair.

I forced myself away from him and took a deep breath, hoping to steady my shaking hands. "Don't you ever wonder why? Why me? Why did you go on for so long without feeling a damn thing and then I came around and all of a sudden you change...just like that?" He grabbed a hold of my shoulders and pulled me back to him, our noses almost touching.

My eyes scanned his face as I concentrated on the hurtful venom I'd have to spew. "Look at you. I mean really look at yourself. Deep down inside you always knew you weren't cut out for this. Something was holding you back." I shrugged out of his hold and pushed away from him, needing as much space as possible for the words I was about to say "...maybe that's why you fought so hard against it, because it wasn't _you_ having feelings for me. It was some overgrown man-baby in his underwear."

Opening his mouth to speak, he got stuck on his words. "I..."

My jaw tensed. Narrowing my eyes, I asked, "You don't have an answer, do you?"

"Bella...I..."

I threw my hands up in the air. "We were marked by Cupid, Dean. Just like your parents were. Meant to be together because someone upstairs wanted it that way! Don't worry, you'll be back to your non-feeling self soon. I'm gonna fix this."

I rushed toward the door before he had a chance to respond.

"Bella, wait..."

Reaching for the doorknob, I paused and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, hoping to steel my resolve. I swung the door open without looking back. If I looked at him, into his eyes—the depths of hazel and green—I wouldn't be able to go through with it. I'd cave and throw myself into his arms, mold myself around his body so even air couldn't come between us. I thought about giving in...letting the indelible marks remain on our hearts just so I could keep feeling whole. Guilt, a sharp knife twisting and cutting my heart, solidified my decision. I couldn't doom him to that existence. Dean deserved better. He deserved something real, even if it meant whatever we had would soon be forgotten. Even I knew pain was better than living in a dream.

Destiny, fate, God's plan...it was all a bunch of lies, just another way to keep us in line, make sure they got what they wanted. Well, the angels could take that crap and shove it. Free will? I laughed at the absurdity of it. They only dangled it in front of us to make us think we had a choice, maybe give us a false sense of importance. We never had a choice; we were nothing more than mortals meant to serve them. They may have been all knowing, but I bet they didn't see what I had planned coming.

I walked through the door and shut it tightly behind me. Picking up my pace, I started to run down the hallway. The sound of Dean whipping the door open didn't stop me. One foot in front of the other, I had to keep going. My chest burned with each step I took away from him. Even once I was outside, the cold air filling my lungs, I still couldn't breathe. I forced my legs to move faster. Concentrating on the lone street light flickering on and off in the distance, I ran into the darkness. When Dean's desperate shouting finally subsided, I knew I had finally put enough space between us. Sam still had the Impala, so I had at least a ten minute lead on them. I prayed for a truck or a car to drive by so I could hitch a ride. Plopping myself down on the cool curb, I placed my bag between my legs and waited for the next set of headlights. I anxiously counted the minutes, part of me anticipating the Impala to whip around the corner, blaring AC/DC or Metallica, followed by Dean jumping out and hauling me back to the car. A loud, cracking sound of exhaust backfiring alerting me to an oncoming vehicle. When the yellow lights cut through the night, I nervously stood up. Thumb extended, I started walking in its direction. As it approached, I noticed Mississippi plates. It wasn't really out of the norm seeing as we were currently working a case in Arkansas; I was just shocked by...not to sound like Blanche DuBois...the kindness of strangers.

An older, white Ford pickup, complete with gun rack pulled over to the side. The driver struggled to roll down the window quickly. He didn't look much older than me, and I sighed out of relief. I knew how dangerous hitchhiking was, but he was only a kid and judging by the look of him, he couldn't do much even if he tried. He still had acne for crying out loud. To be honest, I was more scared of his greasy mullet and the cut-off plaid shirt he wore.

"What can I do you for, little lady?" he asked with an obvious forced twang to his voice

I grimaced at the pathetic Lynyrd Skynyrd wannabe but quickly remembered he was offering to help, so I forced a smile. "I...um...I need a ride."

He leaned over, opening the heavy door with a shove. I tried to climb into the cab, but my foot slipped on the step. He grabbed me by the hand and helped pull me up.

Slamming the door shut, I settled in the seat. "Thanks."

"No problemo. So where ya headed?" He smiled at me before whipping his hair over his shoulder and putting the truck in drive. It slowly chugged to life and we started to drive down the road.

I pulled out the leather journal and flipped through the pages. Mullet man looked over his shoulder, taking a peek at me. I caught him looking and quickly snapped the book shut.

"Sorry." He smiled sheepishly. "I didn't mean to spy. Those are some interesting symbols you got there..."

"I'm headed to Greenwood," I said, hoping to divert the conversation.

He pursed his lips and rubbed the barely there scruff on his chin. "You got family there?" He turned to me, arching his brow.

I shook my head. "No. I guess you could say I'm meeting someone..." _Something is more like it,_ I thought. It wasn't that he was being nosy. He was probably just making small talk but the less he knew the better. "You know...if you could just get me as close to there as possible, I can find my way to town." The last thing I needed was someone tagging along.

"Greenwood, you say?" His eyes darted over to me. "I know you probably think Billy Ray Cyrus is my hero..." The slight southern drawl had disappeared from his voice and I gave him a pensive look "...but my musical taste is quite eclectic. I've always wanted to visit this little hole in the wall bar Robert Johnson played at. Just never got around to it. I can't for the life of me remember the name." He looked up toward the roof of the truck, trying to think of it.

I swallowed thickly. "Ll...lloyd's," I squeaked.

With a confident smile and a nod he said, "Lloyd's. That's right."

Suddenly, I felt as if my road companion somehow knew exactly what I was up to. I pushed away the thought. That was impossible. Life with the boys had obviously made me paranoid. Hopefully he'd just drop me off and go on his merry way.

His hand reached toward the stereo, his fingers pausing on the volume knob. "How about some music?"

I shrugged, not really caring either way. Actually, I was pretty surprised he even asked. Dean never gave Sam or me the same courtesy. "Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole," I mumbled, a sad smile forming on my lips.

"What was that?" he asked, looking at me expectantly.

"Nothing...just something a friend of mine used to say. He was very picky about the music in the car."

He turned up the sound and a blues riff filled the small cab. "Would you look at that! It's not Robert Johnson, but it'll do."

I listened silently as Eric Clapton covered the song that made Johnson famous, the lyrics about the Crossroads hanging heavy around my neck.

Over the course of our ride, I learned that Miles, or "Ash" as he preferred to be called nowadays, actually wasn't the roadie reject for Skynyrd I first suspected. He had attended MIT of all places. Apparently there were a battle of the "Jimmys"—who was a better guitarist, Jimi Hendrix or Jimmy Page—and when Ash wouldn't pick sides, it turned nasty. There was a black eye and a chair being tossed out a third story window, and that ended his short stint at the prestigious college. I told him just enough about myself so he wouldn't think I was trying to hide something. When he asked what I was doing, basically in the middle of nowhere, all by myself, I made up a quick story about how I'd been traveling across the country with a few friends but was starting to miss home so we parted ways.

"I mean really, how could they expect me to choose between a guy that played the guitar with his teeth and the grandfather of heavy metal..." he shook his head, a disgusted scowl on his face "...ridiculous!"

I gave him a mirthful glance but quickly looked out the window, feeling my heart constricting and clenching in my chest.

"Don't tell me you would have made a choice. I was just starting to like you, Bella," he said with a chuckle.

I brought my finger under my eye and rubbed away a tear that would surely fall. "No, Ash," I said sadly. "I wouldn't have chosen. You just remind me a lot of a friend."

He turned to face me and frowned. "Is this the friend your meeting..."

Looking down, I shook my head. "No..." After a long pause, I glanced over to him as he remained patiently silent. "But I guess you could say I'm doing this for him..."

We pulled up in front of a dilapidated shack in the middle of nowhere. Shutters hung askew and the wood siding was missing in some places. There was a blinking neon sign overhead, but some of the bulbs were out so instead of saying, "Lloyd's Bar" it read, " oyd ar".

Ash threw his door open and hopped out of the truck. "So this is the place." Pacing around the front of the building he shrugged. "Not exactly what I was picturing."

Hugging my bag to my chest, I slowly got out of the truck. I looked around and noticed tons of yarrow growing around the bar. The weed-like flower, with leaves shaped like feathers, was used in a lot of summoning spells. This was definitely the right place. I came to meet Ash and stared up at him.

"There's no way I'm gonna be able to convince you to get back in that truck and leave is there?"

"No can do, little lady. I told you, this is a place..."

Frowning, I finished his sentence. "You always wanted to see. I get that...but could you...I mean...why can't you just come back later?"

He put a playful arm around my shoulder. "Because maybe you'll want to introduce me to your friend." Raising an eye brow, he smirked at me. "Is she as cute as you?"

"Ash..."

"I'll tell ya what. How about I go in there and get us some nice cold PBRs and you do whatever it is you need to do out here. If you need me...or your friend stands you up or...you just holler. Okay?"

I tried to muster a smile and silently prayed he'd stay put and not get himself killed. "Thanks."

I stood by the truck as I watched Ash strut into the bar. When he swung the door open gritty, blues music filtered out. Ash started to bob his head up and down and did the universal "rock on" sign with his hand as he walked in. The door slammed behind him, and I turned toward the street. I walked down the dirt path, stopping where two intersecting streets met. Getting down on my knees, I started to dig through the dirt. Tiny pebbles and rusty clay-like earth worked its way under my nails. I kept digging until the screeching sound of my nails hitting metal made me cringe. Carefully, I moved the dirt around the small box and finally pulled it out. I opened the cover and removed the contents. Dumping out my bag, I sorted through my stuff and pulled out a little vile of dirt from a graveyard and a plastic baggie full of chicken bones. I placed them into the box and then opened my wallet. Sliding out my license, I held it in my hand and stared at it for a minute. I hardly recognized the scared, grimacing sixteen year old looking back at me.

"You don't want to do that, Bella."

"Why? Because your buddies upstairs say I don't want to?" I answered bitterly without turning around.

I felt the wind from his wings and the heat of his stare on my back. "Because you're wrong."

Standing up from my crouch, I spun around and narrowed my eyes at him. "How did you find me? Does Cupid's mark come with lo-jack?"

Ash stepped out from behind Castiel. "Sorry, Bella. I couldn't let you do it."

First my jaw dropped and then it flexed and my nostrils flared. "You knew? The whole time you knew I was coming here to summon the Crossroad Demon?" I shook my head at my own stupidity.

Ash slowly approached me. "Not the whole time...but I figured it out pretty quickly. I did get into MIT after all."

"Are you a..."

"Hunter?" he interrupted. "Nah, but I do work at a bar where they tend to frequent. You'd be surprised what you hear when people think you're passed out on a pool table." He smiled proudly. "When I heard you were headed to Lloyd's I knew the only reason you'd want to go there was to make a deal. I had to stop you...I just didn't know how...so I called in the big guns."

My eyes widened. "Dean and Sam?"

He laughed and shook his head. "Haven't had the pleasure of meeting them yet, little lady, but their pops sure does talk an awful lot about them. Luckily John was still at Harvell's when I called. He contacted his boys, and they got in touch with your winged friend here."

I knew Ash was only trying to help, but I felt like I had been played. I turned to Castiel. "Are they coming?" I asked panicked.

Castiel stared at me and answered solemnly. "No."

Looking down, I took a deep breath. That was the best news I had heard all day. At least I wouldn't have to worry about Dean trying to stop me. "Does he know...why I'm doing it? Why I have to..."

Castiel advanced and grabbed me by the shoulders and gave me a firm shake. "You don't have to. Don't you see?"

I fell to my knees and let my tears finally fall. "I do." He crouched to the ground and wrapped his arms around me. A warmth started in my chest and filled my whole body. Despite my breaking heart, I felt whole. I tried to push him away. "Stop. Whatever touched by an angel crap you're doing, just stop."

I stood up and backed away. "This is your fault. I wouldn't have to call the Crossroad Demon to wish away the mark if it was never put there in the first place! Look, I'm not thrilled about dealing with a demon but what other choice do I have? Even if it means Dean and I won't be together...I'll take the pain because it's a hell of a lot better than being used as a puppet for heaven."

The hole for the box was already dug and the lid was still open. All I had to do was drop my license in there and kick some dirt over the box and I could finally make my deal. I lowered my hand, feeling the plastic slowly slip from my fingers.

"You were never marked."

The plastic just missed the box and landed in the dirt instead. Gasping, I spun around.

"It was our intention to link your souls...yours and Dean's. Cupid arranged for your paths to cross, the Winchesters hunting the Wendigo in Forks was no accident."

I let out an exasperated sigh. "Of course it wasn't."

Castiel lowered his eyes in an apologetic manner. "But the bond never took place. He couldn't mark you..." he tilted his head to the side and stared at me "...possibly because of the vampire venom. We're not completely sure."

"So everything between Dean and me..."

"Is real, Bella. We haven't played any part in it...well, except for that little bit it the car..." he smiled and chuckled "...like I said, you two can be incredibly dense. You have no idea what it's like to watch over a charge and deal with all that unresolved sexual tension. When you and Dean finally kissed, the angels literally sang."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Was that supposed to be a joke?"

His cheeks puffed out as he smiled widely. "Yes. Was it funny?"

Shaking my head, I smirked. "Not really. You may want to keep those jokes to a minimum in front of the brothers. You know Dean will tear you apart for being cheesy."

"He won't be able to. I will just regenerate."

Rolling my eyes, I said, "Cas, it was a figure a speech." I walked back over to Ash who was sitting on the hood of his truck. "Thanks for looking out for me..."

He pushed himself off with his arms and faked tipping a hat toward me. "I am at your service, little lady. Maybe one of these days I really will get to meet that friend of yours." He stood there awkwardly and I found myself rushing into his arms.

I hugged him and whispered my thanks again. Castiel was standing over to the side waiting for me. I made my way over to him. "Are we doing the angel teleportation thing again? Because I need a little warning."

"It is the most efficient way to get back there. Sam and Dean are closing in on Haniel and they could certainly use us."

"Haniel?"

Fury flew across his face as his jaw tensed. "Yes. She was Cupid's boss if you will, and now she has fallen. She's working with Eve. Every union Cupid makes is somehow corrupted."

Before I had a chance to respond, he brought his fingers to my forehead and I started spinning. Even when I opened my eyes, the sky continued to fly by at a dizzying speed.

"Dammit, Cas! You can't just pop in like that while I'm driving. Not all of us are invincible against car crashes."

My breathing picked up and I started blinking rapidly at the sound of Dean's voice. Cas wasn't next to me and when Dean turned his head over his shoulder to see what was taking so long for an answer, his mouth dropped.

"Bella!"

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**E/N** – You reviews make me feel all warm and cuddly like Cas wrapping his arms around you. So what was it that Dean was trying to tell Bella before she acted rash and went all reckless... What do we think about Ash? He's one of my favorite secondary characters, second to Bobby of course. Are we still mad at Cas or has he redeemed himself. Talk to me. I've missed you.

If you're interested I wrote a little one-shot about Bella and Dean called Bad Company. Also, if you're looking for away to test the waters in the SPN/TWI fandom, please give a thought to entering my crossover contest. Since Ffn is lame and won't let me put links, just google Twinatural contest for the deets!


	21. Pocket Full of Angel Blades

**A/N **- I am so incredibly sorry for the wait. And if you reviewed and I didn't get a chance to reply, please accept my apologies. I read each and every one, and they mean the world to me. Thanks for being patient. And as always, thanks to my wonderful Team Bean girls.

This chapter is brought to you by Lifehouse's It Is What It Is

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**Chapter 21 – Pocket full of Angel Blades**

_Too long we've been denying. Now we're both tired of trying. We hit a wall and we can't get over it. Nothing left to relive. It's water under the bridge. You said it, I get it, I guess it is what it is._

Sam did a double take and spun around to face me, his eyes full of shock.

"Hey, guys."

Dean glared at me, nostrils flaring. "Don't 'hey, guys' us! Do you have any idea how stupid you are?"

My skin began to flush as my heart sped up, and I felt the rage burning within. "Gee, it's nice to see you too, Dean."

Sam exhaled slowly as Dean turned back around and faced the road. "What Dean's trying to say is we were worried."

"I'm fine." My voice was flat, defeated. Cas had dropped a major bombshell on me, and I was still reeling from the aftermath. Despite the sense of relief that came with knowing everything between Dean and me was real, I still felt like I was running up a hill and never reaching the top. I was tired of fighting with him, but that was typical Dean, too busy fighting his way through life instead of living it.

Taking a deep breath, I let out a long sigh. Sam didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of my attitude. "I'm here, aren't I?"

Before Sam had a chance to respond, Dean cut in. "Yeah, but for how long?"

I looked up and met his eyes in the mirror. His eyes were as hard as the line his jaw was set in. "You make a deal?" he asked so nonchalantly, like it didn't even matter.

"You know I didn't." I could be just as cold. "You're the one that sent Cas to stop me."

Dean tightened his grip on the steering wheel, and Sam side-eyed him before turning back to me and added, "We weren't sure if he'd get to you in time. Dean was already a mess trying to track you. You really know how to throw someone off your trail..."

My lips twisted into a half-smile. "I learned from the best."

Sam smiled back at me. "I kept trying to tell him we'd find you, but then Dad called and told us what you were up to..."

"Don't sugarcoat it, Sammy. She was going to summon a demon. A Crossroads Demon for crying out loud!"

Sam exchanged a warning look with his brother and continued, "We were short on options so we called Cas."

I raised my eyebrows. "Since when do angels carry cellphones?"

"Cut the crap, Bella." Dean's sharp tone sliced through the light facade Sam and I were trying to create. "You stole the journal...went behind our backs...for what? What was so important you couldn't fill us in on your secret plan? What made you think you could do this on your own? That you didn't need..."

"Dean, enough." Sam had raised his voice just enough to stop Dean's verbal attack.

My mouth was still hanging open when Dean lifted his hands off the steering wheel for a brief second to signal his surrender."I'm done. There's nothing she can say that will make this okay."

Loud, crunchy guitar riffs filled the car and Dean kept his eyes on the road. I lowered my head as the frantic rhythm of the song mirrored the beating of my heart. He was right. Even if I told him the truth, that I was going to sell my soul for him, it wouldn't be enough. Too consumed by my own demons, feeling like I had no control over my life again, I did something incredibly selfish and rationalized it by telling myself it was all for Dean, when in reality I didn't even give him or his feelings a second thought. I had committed the worst betrayal, not just by going behind his back but because I refused to see what was right in front of me. What we had was _real_.

As I thought about all my mistakes and missteps, how differently I could have handled things, Sam's desperate plea echoed in my mind.

_Don't let him think he doesn't matter. _

But that was exactly what I did. I sat in the backseat feeling sorry for myself and wondering if it was too little too late. The way Dean's jaw remained tense and his eyes never wavered from the road confirmed my suspicions. A sharp cut of the wheel sent me flying across the seat as he threw the car into reverse and pulled a U-turn, heading in the opposite direction.

"What the hell, Dean?" Sam shouted. He turned to face his brother, demanding an explanation.

Rubbing my shoulder, I looked up and glared into the front seat.

Dean turned stiffly toward Sam, his lips pressed in a thin line. "We passed a motel a few miles back."

"Okay..." Sam hesitated. "That doesn't explain the NASCAR driving."

"I've been driving all night. I didn't feel like driving another twenty minutes till the next one."

Sam turned around and exchanged a wary look with me before I averted my eyes and faced the window, watching the streetlights blur as Dean sped toward his refuge. I had heard what he refused to say out loud. _I need to get away from her. _It felt like he shoved his hand through my chest and squeezed my heart until it sputtered out its dying beats. I didn't know if he purposely directed his thoughts at me or he was really just too tired and it was an involuntary slip. Either way, the damage was done.

~o~

I slung my bag over my shoulder, wincing slightly. It was still tender after I had smashed it into the door when Dean decided he was Dale Earnhardt Jr. Sam and Dean walked over to the front desk while I lingered in the lobby. I had learned if I remained out of sight, we weren't met with as many prodding questions and strange looks. Dean was still waiting to sign the slip from his stolen credit card, and Sam made his way towards me. He reached out his hand a slipped a room key in mine.

Looking up, I gave him a quizzical look. "You're not coming?"

"I'm gonna walk to the convenience store and grab the newspaper. See if anything is happening. Omens have been popping up all over the place since Haniel started working with Eve. We're trying to track her next move." He mustered a hopeful smile.

I started to chew on my lower lip, shaking my head slightly. Sucking in a sharp breath, I warned, "Sam, this better not be you trying to get me and Dean to work things out...because we are so not ready for that right now."

Letting out a breathy laugh, he said, "Look, that guy behind the desk looks like he's about to keel over any minute."

Looking around Sam, I chanced a glance and could see the frustration literally roll off of Dean. His back was rigid, and he squeezed his eyes shut, taking slow, deep breaths, trying to calm himself. The old man with his hunched over back and shaking hand took little baby steps back towards the desk. The sales slip fell from his hand and slowly floated to the ground. Dean let out a loud sigh and the man proceeded to bend down, placing a hand on his back as he crouched to the ground.

Sam raised his eyebrows, laughter filling his eyes. "See what I mean? It may take awhile. I figured you could take the time to get settled."

I squeezed the key tightly and took a deep breath. "Thanks."

Both of us headed out the door together. I went to the left towards our room and Sam walked in the opposite direction but stopped in his tracks.

"Bella?"

Wrapping my arms around my body, bracing myself for whatever bomb he was about to drop, I spun around on my heels and faced him.

"Dean doesn't stay mad forever. He only gets like this because he cares..."

I closed my eyes and nodded. In a barely there whisper I added, "I know."

"Alright." Before the awkward silence became too much, Sam shook the hair out of his eyes and gave me a sad smile before turning around and walking away.

I quickened my step and made it to our motel room. Carefully opening the door, I flipped on the light and held my breath. We never knew what kind of room we'd end up with. It wasn't the nicest place we'd stayed, but it certainly wasn't the worst. The color scheme was made up of deep browns and light blues. There was something very masculine about the geometric bed spreads, matching curtains, and dark cherry furniture. I let my fingers graze along the length of the breakfast nook. No dust. That was promising. Hopefully the bathroom was just as clean.

Tossing my bag down on one of the beds, I rounded the corner and entered the bathroom. The harsh lights were almost blinding against the pristine white paint and fixtures, but the sink and toilet were clean, no rust stains, and it didn't smell of bleach or mildew so that was a plus. I thought about taking a shower, but I wasn't sure how long I had to myself, and getting interrupted by Dean was the last thing either of us needed. Standing in front of the mirror, I turned the water on and let it run ice cold. I placed my hands under the faucet and let the frigidness seep into my bones. My skin turned blotchy as I assaulted my face with the cold water. It was numbing and revitalizing all at the same time. Drops of water trickled down my reddened cheeks as I stared at my reflection.

_Who the hell was this person?_

The girl that had fought her way through the fog and crippling depression, the one that so badly wanted a chance to live seemed to have retreated to some place so deep inside of me I could hardly hear her cries or feel her clawing her way to the surface. I scowled at my reflection: the same sad eyes and trembling hands of the pathetic little girl Edward had left in the woods. It had finally dawned on me—that _wasn't _me. And that certainly wasn't someone that could go toe to toe with Dean Winchester. I had already spent too much time lingering on my mistakes and blaming myself for everything that happened with Edward. If the apocalypse was right around the corner, I couldn't afford to do that with Dean.

I turned off the water and reached over to grab a face towel off the rack to pat my face dry. My hand rested on the doorknob and I lowered my head, taking one last calming breath before opening the bathroom door. When I lifted my head, Dean was standing in the middle of the room, a stoic glare on his face, and I stopped in my tracks, my breath catching in my throat. When our eyes met, his face softened a bit, and his lips parted as if he was about to say something. He just continued to stare, a trace of pain or regret in his eyes. Annoyed with the heavy, crushing silence, I rolled my eyes, letting out an angry huff, and shook my head before pushing past him and walking out the door. He didn't follow but I did manage to bump into Sam.

"Hey, easy there." He placed his hands on my shoulders, stilling me. "Where are you off to?"

Sam's gentle touch did little to calm the live wires underneath my flesh. I let out an exaggerated huff. "I can't do it, Sam." My whole body shook with frustration and Sam knowingly squeezed me, grounding me back to him. "I was gonna lay it all out there but he just stood there with this stupid look on his face. If he's not ready to talk, he sure as hell isn't ready to listen."

He pulled away and looked down at me, a sad smile on his lips. "He just needs more time, Bella. Dean never handles this stuff well."

"Well, I don't really think that's something we have a whole lot of." I nodded toward the newspaper under his arm. "You got anything?"

Sam grabbed the newspaper in one hand and wrapped his other arm around me. "Why don't we go get a drink? There's a little bar down the street."

I skeptically narrowed my eyes at him as he guided us in the direction of the bar. "Gee, it must be bad if you need to get me drunk before you can tell me."

~o~

Sam wrapped his hands around the glass mug and appeared to be oddly fascinated by the amber liquid. I stared for a moment as he swiped his thumbs up and down the sides, leaving careless patterns in the condensation.

"Alright, spill."

He looked up from his beer and gave me a wary glance. "We don't know why Haniel fell. Cas is still working on it. What we do know is she's hell bent on helping Eve break Lucifer out."

I gave the bartender a fake smile as he walked past us."Okay..."

"It's bad, Bella. I guess you really pissed her off when the union between you and Dean wouldn't take."

My eyes widened. "That's what this is about?" People around us were starting to stare after my loud out burst, so I leaned into Sam for more privacy. Lowering my voice, I continued, "She's working with the mother of all evil because she couldn't do her job right?"

"There's gotta be more to it than that. It's like she's personally gunning for you, Bella."

I flexed my jaw and stared at him intently, trying to follow but I couldn't help but feel like I was missing something. "So now I have two bitches with a grudge after me? Great!" I gripped the edge of the bar and shifted uncomfortably on my stool.

Sam placed his hand over mine, drawing my attention back to him. "Eve was ready to give up." His eyes were so honest, still full of hope. " Edward's gone so the threat of you opening the gate is gone. You don't really have a reason to choose that path anymore. Then this fallen angel, Haniel, swoops in and tells her there's another way to open the cage and let Lucifer out."

"Well that's good right? I mean the whole releasing Lucifer thing is still bad...but at least it's not all on me now." I raised my eyebrows, mustering a hopeful smile.

Sam sighed and gave me a sympathetic look. "Sam," I hesitated, "why are you looking at me like that?"

"She's convinced Eve to let her go back in time...to stop you from being born. We still don't know how that's gonna help set Lucifer free but we need to stop her for obvious reasons."

Sam tried to give me a reassuring smile, but I just felt the room start to spin. The air left my lungs in a swift gust. Tiny black stars began to swim behind my eyes as I fought for oxygen. The steady thud of my heartbeat in my ears managed to calm me down enough to regulate my breathing. I was slowly coming back to reality.

A small smile formed on my lips, and I placed my hand up to stop Sam from finishing his ridiculous story. "I'm sorry. I thought you said Haniel is planning on pulling a reverse Michael J. Fox to make sure I was never born."

Sam remained focused, his face a mask of seriousness, and I was secretly hoping Dean would just pop out the corner already and say, "Gotcha."

"Apparently, she can teleport through time and space."

I stood up from my seat and looked around the room, laughing under my breath. "Okay, just stop. Where is he? You can come out now, Dean."

Sam pulled me back down on the bar stool and held my hand tightly. "Dean doesn't know yet. I just found out."

"How?"

"Bobby's been doing some digging. She's going by Anna Milton now. Whatever vessel she took can't be much older than you. She looks harmless but she's smiting anyone that stands in her way."

I yanked my hand away and shook my head. "You've got to be kidding me!"

Sam softened his voice trying to calm me. He gave me his sad puppy dog eyes. "I know it's pretty bad, but we'll figure it out. Dean and I won't let anything happen to you."

"I'm beginning to appreciate Castiel's cheesy humor a lot more," I said matter-of-factly.

"What are you talking about?"

"Anna Milton. As in John Milton..." I was waiting for the gears in Sam's head to start turning.

"The guy who wrote _Paradise Lost_?" Sam glanced at me questioningly.

I gave him an encouraging nod and gestured with my hand for him to continue. "Yeah, and what was that about..."

Sam closed his eyes, thinking for a minute, and then snapped them open. "Lucifer, the war in Heaven, fallen angels..."

My lips pressed into a thin smile. He still hadn't caught the big picture yet. "Adam and Eve."

"God, Bella!" Sam pushed his stool back from the bar, the scraping of the metal against the floor made my insides quiver. He hopped off and pulled me down with him. "Come on, we got to go. I need to talk to Bobby, and we need to get in touch with Cas."

I had a hard time keeping up with Sam as he jogged back to the motel. His legs were so long, and my feet could be considered a natural disaster all of their own. By the time we got there, I was a little winded. He burst through the door while I rested my hand against the door frame and tried to catch my breath.

When I finally looked up and took in Dean's appearance my stomach began to roll like a snake slithering around in there. Dean, who was always on edge and ready to pack up at a moments notice, looked completely relaxed. The television remote was in one hand and a beer rested on his stomach as his chest rose with steady breaths. He slightly turned his head away from the television and appraised the situation in front of him.

Sam frantically raced around the room, gathering his things, and tossed a bag at Dean. Dean lifted himself up on his elbows, glaring, completely put out."What the hell, Sammy?"

"Dean, get up! We need to go..." Dean looked over to the doorway and carefully studied me "...now!" Sam shouted.

He tore his eyes away from me and pushed himself off the bed with a disgruntled sigh. Then he came up behind Sam, still not making a move to get his things, and asked,"What's going on?"

Sam slung his bag over his shoulder. "I'll explain in the car."

Dean had the clueless look on his face and muttered something under his breath as he started packing up. I cast him a sidewards glance as I grabbed my own things. If Sam was this shook up about the turn of events, I could only imagine how Dean would react. Then again, he was still mad so who knew if he'd even give a crap.

A crazed smile formed on my lips as I walked out to the Impala. The universe had a horrible sense of irony. The whole time I wanted to end it and thought of how much better things would be if I was never born, I could never find any relief. Now that I had the will to live, a purpose for once, the evil bitch, was finally giving me what I wanted.

I settled into the backseat, and Sam was already waiting in the car. He had his cell phone pressed against his ear with one hand and was flipping through pages of a book.

"No, he's not answering." Dean cast Sam a pensive glance before getting in and starting up the car. Sam turned to Dean and acknowledged him with a head nod, telling him to go ahead and drive. "Yeah, we'll try that. Thanks, Bobby."

Dean easily steered the car with one hand and turned to face his brother. "You wanna tell me what the hell is going on now?"

Closing his flip phone, Sam tucked it safely in the front pocket of his jacket. "Dad managed to track down Eve and Haniel."

"Great!" Dean genuinely smiled, a little bit of the hunter that loved the fight finally coming through. He rested his wrists over the steering wheel, wove his fingers together, and cracked them. "Let's gank those bitches."

He was almost too excited to go up against Haniel and Eve. Never one to shy away from a hunt, he was unnaturally confident, even for Dean. I didn't know when it happened, maybe some time between when I took off and when he found out what I was about to do, but Dean had changed. He no longer had to fight in this war...he _needed_ to. Whatever epiphany he had didn't sit right with me. I could still feel that snake slithering away in my gut and spewing venomous ice into my veins.

Sam tilted his head to the side and let out a nervous laugh. "That's part of the problem. We don't exactly know how to kill them."

Dean wagged his eyebrows, cracking a cocky smile. "Well, that's what Cas is for. Where is he anyway?"

Sam's lips formed a thin line. "He's not picking up."

Pursing his lips, Dean nodded. "Okay, not a big deal. Maybe Dad or Bobby knows something."

Sighing, Sam said, "This isn't just a vengeful spirit or cursed object, Dean. We're talking about the apocalypse. We're up against Eve and an angel!"

Smiling, Dean reassured Sam. "Calm down, Sammy. Don't worry. We'll stop them. We always do."

I wasn't sure where this optimistic Dean had come from. It was such a stark contrast to the broken guy that had me pinned up against the bathroom wall of that seedy motel room telling me how he wasn't sure what he was fighting for, if any of it was even worth it anymore. I tried to put my finger on what had changed. I tamped the pang in my chest that made me think maybe it was me, like it didn't matter if we lost the war as long as we were alright...as long as _I_was alright. There was that bitch of a universe rearing her ugly head again. Just when things were starting to look up, when maybe Dean and I were finally back on track, I was about to cease to exist.

Lifting my eyes to meet his in the mirror, I said sadly, "Unless you have access to a DeLorean, I don't think that's gonna happen."

Dean turned over his shoulder, his eyebrows knitting together. "What are you talking about?"

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Haniel...or Anna now..." I shrugged, not really caring if I got her name right "...is planning on going back in time to make sure I was never born."

A strange calmness washed over Dean's face. "Right...okay, well let's get in touch with Cas and figure out how to stop her." He turned to Sam. "What did Bobby say about finding Cas?"

There was something very wrong with Dean. Even Sam noticed when he curled his lips and looked at him funny. This wasn't the hot headed, rash man I had fallen in love with. The Dean I loved would have had an outburst of some sort, maybe slam his fists into the steering wheel and scream for Cas to get off his lazy winged ass and come down here and help. We had to tackle one thing at a time, and as soon as we figured out how to stop Anna, _if _we stopped Anna, I planned on finding out what was going on with him.

Sam moved in the seat to face me. "You and Cas have a connection. Bobby seems to think if you pray, he may come."

"If you pray, it will come." I rolled my eyes and smirked. "Alright, fine. It seems a little too easy, but I'll give it a go." I closed my eyes and let a sense of peace radiate around. Taking a few deep breaths, I finally spoke. "Are you there, Cas? It's me, Bella."

There was a soft rustling next to me and I felt his presence before I opened my eyes.

Snapping open my eyes, I gasped. "Holy shit, it worked!"

"Nice of you to show, Cas." A little bit of that gruffness I found oddly comforting laced Dean's voice. "Tell us you know how to stop her."

Cas lifted his jacket to the side, revealing a long, silver dagger. "It's an Angel Blade. I still don't know why she's doing this, but I _will_ kill her to protect you, Bella."

Dean clenched his jaw and forced a smile. "That's real sweet, Cas, but it doesn't really help us if we don't know where she is."

Tilting his head to the side and narrowing his eyes at Dean, he said, "That's easy. She'll return to Bella's birthplace once she's obtained the blood of her parents."

Not exactly thrilled with the prospect of returning to Forks, I swallowed thickly. "Wait, let's think about this for a minute. If we prevent her from getting to my parents then she can't complete the ritual, right?"

A flapping of wings followed a gust of air whipping through the car, and I turned to my side to find Castiel gone. "He really needs to stop doing that."

As soon as I got my words out, a gentle rustle of feathers indicated Castiel was back. "I was able to mark your parents so she wouldn't be able to find them. Great thinking, Bella."

Cautiously, I asked, "What does marking them actually entail?"

"I carved Enochian Sigils on their ribs." His voice was calm, like it wasn't a big deal to dig into my parents' chest and draw some weird angel drawings. I opened my mouth to protest but he quickly added, "It was only uncomfortable for a few minutes. When they come to, they won't remember a thing."

"So crisis averted?" Dean asked turning to face us, a smile lighting his eyes when he found my face.

"Not exactly. A more direct approach would have been to retrieve Bella's blood for the ritual. Haniel knew she was protected by the two of you so she avoided it all costs." Castiel turned to face me. "She'll becoming for you..." he gripped the Angel Blade tightly in his fist "...but we'll be ready."

* * *

E/N – Again, I apologize for the wait. Rest assured this story will be finished. We're just about at the halfway mark. I have lots planned for everyone.


	22. Revelations

A/N- Thanks for the warm welcome back guys. I'm thrilled most of you stuck around. We've only just hit the middle of the road for these kids. Lots more to come. See you at the bottom! Chapter is brought to you by Trading Yesterday's _Love Song Requiem_.

_The future haunts with memories I could never have, and hope is a stranger wondering how it got so bad. I die each time you look away. My heart, my life will never be the same. This love will take my everything. One breath, one touch will be the end of me._

**Chapter 22 – Revelations**

"We don't have any where else to go, Dean."

Cas and I shared a look as the brothers continued to argue.

Dean gripped the steering wheel tighter. "I don't care. We'll find somewhere. I'm not going to let him try anything stupid with her."

"He won't." Sam's firm voice resonated through the car. Dean slowly turned to face him, challenging him with a glare. "He gets it now. He wouldn't do that. He knows..."

"That's rich coming from you, Sammy." Dean let out a dark chuckle. "You were always so quick to defy the man and now all of a sudden he's this understanding guy that can help?"

Castiel leaned into me and whispered. "Are they always like this?"

Looking back and forth between Dean and Sam, voices raised, hands waving, I nodded. "Pretty much."

The booming finality of Dean's voice made me shudder. "I said no!"

I clenched my hands into fists and took a deep breath. "You really don't get to say anything, Dean. This isn't about you. It's about me."

"Exactly." His eyes softened while mine remained fierce, starring him down in the mirror. "I'm just trying to keep you safe, Bella."

"I'm not afraid of John. If he and Bobby know something we don't, that's the safest place for me."

~o~

A few hours later we were driving down what seemed like an endless dirt road. The side of the road was made up of a combination of dead leaves and unkempt greenery. With the cloud of dust the Impala left in our wake, I half expected tumbleweeds to blow by. Castiel reminded me of dog with his head hanging out the window as he took in the scenery. For an otherworldly being, he certainly seemed fascinated by the bare South Dakota landscape. I gave in and took a look for myself and realized we were almost there. We passed through large iron archway with the words _Singer Auto Salvage_ at the top. There was broken down old truck, reminiscent of Old Red, off to the side and at least five cars crushed and stacked up on one another just beyond the entrance. Dean easily navigated through the gate and pulled up in front of a blue house with peeling pain and boarded up windows. A large tow truck was parked in front and tires littered what was supposed to be a front lawn.

Dean and Sam opened their doors simultaneously and got out like it was second nature. I gripped the handle tightly and squeezed my eyes shut as I stepped into the dry Dakota air. I hadn't lied when I said I wasn't afraid of John. I was afraid of the answers he might have. Castiel was at my side by the time I opened my eyes. He looked down at me, his head slightly tilted as his eyes silently questioned.

"What's wrong?"

I shook my head, chasing away my fears. "Nothing. Let's go."

I made my way towards the door but Castiel grabbed me by the arm, holding me back. His eyes bore into me before he spoke. "I promise I will not let any harm come to you, Bella."

Yanking my arm back, I narrowed my eyes. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

He frowned slightly. "I still do not have a grasp on human emotions, but I believe what you are feeling is doubt." The guy had no concept of personal space as he stepped closer to me, his eyes glued to mine. "Your destiny is too important to risk. I vowed to protect you no matter the cost."

I looked over his shoulder. Dean had already walked through the front door, but Sam stood back waiting for me. He tossed me a worried glance. I waved him on and turned my attention back to Castiel.

"What do you mean my destiny is too important? What aren't you telling us?"

Castiel let out a sigh. "I'm a lower level angel, Bella. I am not privy to what your destiny entails, only that I must protect you so it comes to fruition."

"And Haniel? Would she know my destiny?"

"Dammit. Why didn't I see this before?" He rushed toward the house, his trench coat snapping in the breeze.

I jogged after him, stumbling up the front steps in my haste. "Cas, wait!"

He burst through the door and headed straight toward Dean. Pulling out the Angel Blade from his jacket, he handed it to him. "I can trust you know how to use this?"

Dean looked down at the silver sword in his hands. His jaw was set in hard line as he glanced up at the angel. "Yeah..." he said hesitantly.

"Good. I have to go now." With a rustling of feathers he was gone.

John pushed himself up from his chair and walked across the room. "Someone wanna tell me what that was all about?"

I took in his disheveled clothing and overgrown beard. The bags under his eyes were even darker than the last time we had seen him.

"Cas does that," Dean mumbled.

John looked over to me with a half smile. "Some guardian angel you got there, kid. He disappears right before the final showdown."

I forced a smile. "Nice to see you again, John. Aren't you just a glimmer of hope."

Sam brought his fist to his mouth to hide his smirk while Dean's eyes slightly widened.

John let out a low chuckle and slapped Dean on the back. "Glad to see some of his attitude brushed off on you. It suits you."

"But unlike that idjit..." An older man with a brown beard with just a smattering of gray wearing a stained trucker hat stood up from behind his desk and made his way over to me. "She's easier on the eyes." He put his hand out to shake. "You must be Bella."

"Bobby?" I looked him over, the plaid shirt and down vest bringing a smile to my face. Between his clothes and the faint lines around the corners of his eyes, he reminded a lot of Charlie.

From the way Sam and Dean spoke of him, I already felt endeared to the man. Just by looking at him, I could tell he was a more of a father to those boys than John ever was. They may have only been a few years a part, but John and Bobby wore the wear and tear of this life quite differently. Where John just looked ragged, Bobby had the wrinkles of a father.

After a firm handshake, Bobby walked past Sam and Dean and grabbed a book from a stack on the floor. "Alright, lets fill you idjits and Bella in on what we know."

John made himself comfortable on the couch while Sam sat across from him. Dean leaned against a wall, his eyes carefully trained on his father. Bobby sat back down at his desk and scanned several books laying in front of him.

"Eve is no longer a threat," John said calmly.

There was a cacophony of voices.

"What?" I asked.

"How?" Sam questioned.

"And you've waited till now to tell us?" Dean's raised voice overpowered us all.

Bobby looked up from his desk and sternly said, "Would you all let the man speak?"

John rested his arms on his knees and leaned forward. "Anna killed her. She was just a means to an end. Anna was always the mastermind behind setting Lucifer free."

"What would an angel even want with Lucifer? Eve is just a bitch on a big wheel. She wanted to set Lucifer free just to flip God the bird and who better to do that than Satan himself." Dean paced back and forth, gripping the blade tightly in his fist. "It makes no sense!"

"Dean's right. Demons and angels don't normally work together." Sam sat down in a chair across from John. "I already told Bella this is something personal for Anna. It has to be." Frowning, he looked over at Bobby for answers. "We just don't know what that reason is."

Bobby sighed loudly and shook his head. "I can't make heads or tails of it any more than you boys can. We've got one fallen angel that wants Bella dead and another chomping at the bit to get out of his cage with no idea how to stop any of it." He nodded towards the blade in Dean's hand. "My guess is that nifty sword in your hand might do the trick."

"So what? We just wait here for Anna to show and then one of you stabs her with that?" I looked over to Dean and his eyes met mine for a brief moment before I lowered my head. "It seems too easy."

I could feel Dean's icy stare burning into me. "Well, it's all we got right now, sweetheart."

John pushed up from the couch and walked over to Sam. "What makes you think this is personal?"

"Think about it. She could just kill Bella if she really wanted to. Going back in time, making sure someone was never born...that's personal." Sam looked over to me then back to John. "She knows we're waiting for her, but she's still trying to do it. That's taking a big risk."

"Looks like we've got our work cut out for us. I want to know everything that happened in nineteen-eighty-seven from the weather to animal attacks. I've got some almanacs out back." Bobby started towards the hallway, and I raced after him.

"Wait. Let me help."

He looked over his shoulder and gave me a warm smile before glaring at Sam and Dean. "And she offers to help. I knew I'd like you."

We walked towards a room out back that had bookshelves along every wall and a small cot set up on the floor. I sat down on the creaky mattress and waited as Bobby pulled out several books. He turned around and handed me one. I reached out to take it, but his hand remained on the book as he raised his eyebrows.

"So you and Dean..."

My eyes widened as I started choking and coughing. Bobby came around and sat down next to me.

"Relax, Bella. No one said anything, but I can see it all over that boy's face."

I finally managed to catch my breath. "We may have had something, but I think I really screwed up this time. It doesn't matter anyway if we can't stop Anna."

Even if we were never marked by Cupid, I still betrayed Dean. I went behind his back and took matters into my own hands because I thought I knew what was best for both of us. Wasn't that the same thing Edward had tried to do when he left Forks? Wasn't I irrevocably changed by Edward's selfish actions? I winced as the crippling pain resurfaced. I remembered the day he abandoned me in the forest, how cold and alone I was. Edward made me feel like I didn't matter, that he never really loved me. And I feared I may have doomed Dean to the same fate.

Bobby patted me on the head and let out a soft chuckle. "Dean has the market cornered for screwing up, kid. He'll come around. I know why you were trying to make the deal with the Crossroads demon, Bella. He would have done the same exact thing. He's probably just mad he couldn't sacrifice himself..."

The rest of his words fell on deaf ears as it all started to make sense in pristine clarity. Was that what the suicide bomber act was all about? He was ready to go to war and take on God knew how many demons just so he could sacrifice himself for the greater good..._for me_?

"...anyway, go easy on him. I know that skull of his can be harder than a cast iron pan, but his heart's in the right place. You two will figure it out. Just give it time."

He was standing over me, and I looked up at him through blurry eyes. I took a deep breath to quell the tears and said, "Everyone keeps saying that, but I gotta say, my odds aren't looking too good."

Bobby pulled me to my feet and grabbed me by the shoulders. "You've got three of the best hunters I've ever met out there looking for a way to save you. Winchesters don't give up, Bella. Ever."

_Winchesters don't give up. _

~o~

His words lingered long after he had left the room, but I couldn't help but feel like maybe there was more to them. I started looking through the Farmer's Almanac and took notes on every major even that seemed of importance. Time must have escaped me because the room was suddenly dark and my stomach started to rumble. I ventured for the kitchen but when I walked through the doorway, I was no longer in Bobby's house. After a few steps, my surroundings came into focus, and I was walking down a wooden dock. The placid lake in front of me was one I knew well. It was just outside of La Push and one Charlie dragged me to often. It had to be a dream but everything felt so real. I could feel the wooden planks creak underneath my feet and smell the fresh soil Charlie kept his night crawlers in. As I made my way to the edge of the dock, there were two chairs positioned at the very end. One was empty, but one was filled with a familiar tan trench coat.

I took a seat but refused to look at my companion, instead keeping my eyes on the lake.

"Invading people's dreams now? You really have no concept of personal space, do you, Cas?"

"I'm sorry. I needed to speak to you, and it wasn't safe to take you away from the Winchesters."

I turned in the Adirondack chair and faced him with an incredulous glare. "What does that even mean?"

His piercing blue eyes narrowed as he stared at me. "Actually, it's more like you being away from Dean isn't safe. I know why Anna wants to kill you now."

I gripped onto the arms of the chair and steeled myself. "Okay."

"If you are not born in 1987, the Cambion will be. While Charlie is away on fishing trip, your mother will be attacked by a demon." I gasped as fear crawled its way from my belly to my throat. Cas gave me a sympathetic look. "She will live, but she will also be carrying his spawn. Renee will never say a word to your father, and when the child is born, he will raise the baby as his own."

I swallowed thickly. I had vampire venom coursing through my veins, and Sam had demon blood in his. How bad could a half-demon, half-human really be? "What is a Cambion, Cas?"

His lips pressed into a thin line. "The Antichrist."

Standing up from my chair, I couldn't contain the laughter bubbling to the surface. "Oh, is that all?"

Cas stood up and took my hand, turning me to face him. "This is serious, Bella. The Antichrist is capable of killing the Host of Heaven with one word."

"Is that why Anna wants to stop me from being born? So she, Lucifer, and the Cambion can be one big happy family?"

Castiel tilted his head to the side. "When did you find out?"

I let out a shaky breath. "Find out what?"

"That Lucifer and Haniel were together."

"Well it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out she's trying to put together the Injustice League."

He opened his mouth and then closed it again, straining his eyes. "I don't understand that reference. Bella, before Lucifer was sent to hell, he and Haniel had a relationship."

"I thought angels were asexual."

"We are when we're in our vessels. In Heaven..."

I held up my hand. "You know what? I don't even want to know." I started pacing along the dock. "So what you're saying is this whole time Haniel has been playing dutiful servant to God, she was really just biding her time until Lucifer got set free? Eve was going to do it with the free will bullshit ritual, but obviously she screwed the pooch on that one. What I don't understand is how killing me sets Lucifer free."

"I was getting to that. You and Dean..."

Warning him with my eyes, I said, "Don't say it, Cas. I've already heard enough from Sam and Bobby. I don't need you to tell me I need to give Dean time to come around. We don't have time and maybe we were never really meant to be together anyway. You said Cupid couldn't mark us. There's obviously a reason why."

He stood in front of me, eyes stoic and voice dull. "There's something I need to show you."

Placing his fingers on my forehead, I began spinning.

My head pounded as I opened my eyes to a bright, blinding light. Florescent lights hung over us and the incessant beeping of some type of monitor filled the silence. As the room came into focus, I noticed I was in a hospital. The noises from a heart monitor kept a steady beat. I looked around and saw the thin legs of a woman and her feet placed in a set of stirrups. A man's backside blocked her face but he held her hand up to his lips, squeezing it firmly and placing kisses on the back of it. Something inside me began to twinge, and I felt uncomfortable invading this private moment.

"Cas, we shouldn't be..."

Then a gruff voice I couldn't mistake broke through the room. "Come on, sweetheart. You can do this. Just a few more pushes, Bella, and then we'll get to meet our baby."

My words caught in my throat and before I had a chance to stifle the cry threatening to spill, I was spinning again.

It wasn't Fork's High, but the unmistakable wall of lockers told me it was definitely a high school. I'd notice those Converse sneakers anywhere. Books had been scattered all over the floor as anxious students walked around the pile, hustling to get to class.

"Here, let me help you with that." The extremely tall, lanky teen knelt down beside the girl, shaking his shaggy hair out of his eyes and offering a gentle smile.

The girl awkwardly smiled back and huffed. "Thanks."

"Sammy," a loud booming voice echoed through the hall. "You really are Sasquatch. Did you knock this poor... " He faltered momentarily and reached a hand out to help her out. "I'm sorry about my brother. He had this growth spurt and he barely knows how to walk." Still holding her hand, he added, "I'm Dean, by the way."

The way he smiled at her caused my heart to hurt. With pain filled eyes, I turned to face Cas. "Why are you..."

Next thing I knew, we were standing in the living room of a modest home. It was an open concept, and I could see into the kitchen from where I was. A man with a scruffy beard was sitting at the table with hands covered in blood and a nasty cut over his right eye. A young girl, probably no more than twelve, with thick purple glasses, dark hair pulled back into a braid, and buck teeth was leaning over him, holding a wet cloth on his head. I subconsciously placed a finger on my two front teeth, watching the scene in front of me unfold, remembering the pain in the ass retainer I had to wear from the time I was eight to my fourteenth birthday.

"What happened, Uncle John?"

"Nothing we couldn't handle, sweetheart. Some vengeful spirit on the rampage." He winced through a smile as the girl cleaned the cut out.

"And the boys? Sam? Dean?"

He looked her in the eyes and made his voice stern, void of emotion. "Burning the body."

Frowning, she stepped away and shook her head. "Why is it okay for them to go on hunts and not me? I can handle it..." She stopped speaking so the tears wouldn't fall.

John stood up from the chair and walked over to her, taking her into his arms and pressing his lips against her head. "No one wants this life for you, Bella. I promised your daddy..."

I was back in the Adirondack chair, facing the lake. Tears streamed down my face and my shoulders crumpled with the weight of the sobs wracking through my body. A warm, gentle hand rested on my shoulder and I looked up through blurry eyes.

"Why did you show me all of that?"

"Because in every reality, you and Dean are meant to be."

My lungs burned as I struggled to suck in air. "Why?"

"That child you saw...it's the savior, Bella."

Narrowing my eyes and flexing my jaw, I took in a sharp breath. "Savior of what?"

"The world."

~o~

My eyes snapped open and I was staring up at the leaky plaster ceiling in the small room. I blinked my eyes a few times and felt my heart rate slow down. Sitting up on the cot, I let my head fall into my hands. I pulled at my hair, just wanting to feel something, anything besides the overwhelming emotions coursing through me. A guttural, frustrated scream came from deep inside. Wrapping my arms around my torso, I stood up and closed my eyes. I heard movement in the doorway and looked up. Dean's panicked eyes met mine and he inched closer, crossing the threshold of the room.

"You okay?" The concern dripping from his voice paralyzed me.

I lowered my head, avoiding eye contact because I knew if I looked at him I wouldn't be able to keep anything from him. "I had a nightmare."

His eyes scanned the room. "But you're good now?"

"I am now."

His lips turned into a half smile and he nodded before turning towards the door.

My feet finally started to move as I made my way towards him. His breathing hitched with each step that brought me closer. His shoulders relaxed and he let out a deep breath.

The anger, the hurt...all of it melted away as I wrapped my hands around his neck. I pulled myself into his chest and guided his head down towards mine as I pressed my lips against his.

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E/N – Next chapter earns it's M rating. Just a fair warning.


	23. Distance

A/N – I'm just going to jump right in. The chapter speaks for itself. Chapter and song are brought to you by Christina Perri's _Distance_.

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**Chapter 23 – Distance**

_I will make sure yo keep my distance. Say "I love you" when you're not listening. How long can we keep this up? Please don't stand so close to me. I'm having trouble breathing. I'm afraid of what you'll see right now. I give you everything I am. All my broken heartbeats until I know you understand. _

Dean's mouth didn't move against mine, and I stopped kissing him as a sharp pain surged through my chest. My arms were heavy as they fell to my sides. Shaking my head, I slowly backed away. I focused on a warped floor board and let my hair fall in front of my face to help me hide the tears.

"I'm sorry." It was a pathetic apology from a broken girl, and I prayed he'd just leave without saying a word.

By the time I registered his boots clomping across the floor, he was in front of me, taking my face in his hands. The light from the antique oil lamp hanging on the wall reflected in his green eyes, the flickering flame bringing out the golden flecks. He searched my face before his gaze found my lips.

With each tick of the clock sitting on the bookshelf, my heart hammered against my ribcage. His stare was too intense, the silence too much. I let out a shaky breath and time stopped. Gripping the back of my head firmly, he crashed his mouth against mine. His lips moved with frenzied need, and I swallowed his moan as I began to kiss him back, pushing my body into his hard chest. Fingers clawing the back of his neck, I opened my mouth and let his warm tongue swirl and caress mine. His hands pulled at my hair as he kept my mouth planted firmly to his. Hurried movements backed us into the bookshelf as books went flying. The pain of the shelf digging into my back was nothing compared to the burning fire of desire. His lips trailed wet open mouthed kisses down my neck, over my collarbone, sucking on the sensitive skin. I used the leverage of the bookshelf to push myself up and wrap my legs around his waist as he ground into me.

A breathy moan fell from my lips, and he spun us around and started walking towards the small cot. He rested his head in the crook of my neck, his warm breath fanning over me as I scratched and clawed his back. My hands found his shoulders, pulling at the collar of his button down. Doing a quick shrug, he let the garment fall to the floor. Inching towards the hem of his T-shirt, my fingers tugged blindly until he helped me take it off, all the while my thighs squeezing him tightly around the waist. The need to feel his bare skin against mine was so over powering, I reached behind me and yanked the thin long sleeved shirt up and over my head, tossing it to the ground.

He took a few steps and suddenly he was lowering me down onto the cot. Taking a moment to stare at me, he stood at the edge of the bed, eyes pensive, lips pursed. My nervous fingers trembled as they trailed down my bare stomach and unbuttoned my jeans. All the unresolved sexual tension, those nights just lying in his arms feeling safe and protected, like I belonged there, and it was finally happening. Our bodies would speak the truth our hearts weren't ready to admit. Once that line was crossed, there'd be no going back.

Dean's tongue swept across his lips as I lowered the zipper and shimmied my hips out of the jeans and my underwear. His hands made quick work of his jeans, and he stood there in his black boxer brief glory, watching me closely, looking for any protests before suddenly dropping them. My eyes widened and I swallowed the lump in my throat as I took in the sight of him. There may have been some heavy petting, but I'd never actually seen him. I sucked in a sharp breath and held it. He opened his mouth as if to say something, maybe change his mind, but I extended my arm, brushing my hand along his muscular thigh and gnawed on my lower lip, looking up at him with hooded eyes. In a flash, he was hovering over me, hands gliding up and down my body. I could feel his hard erection touching my inner thigh, and it sent shivers down my spine. He reached a hand behind me, his head buried in my neck, teeth nipping at the flesh, and I arched my back as he unclasped my bra. Scooping me into his arms, he sat me up, placing my legs on either side of him.

"This is the best way..."

Breathless, lost in the feeling of skin on skin, I nodded dumbly. The impact of this moment was threatening to consume me. My breathing picked up to a point of almost hyperventilation. Dean held my face in his hands, brushing the pads of his thumbs across my cheeks before leaning in and placing a soft gentle kiss on my lips.

Crushing me to his chest, he lifted me up and slowly lowered me onto him. He remained perfectly still and let me adjust as I let out a ragged breath. My breathing started to pick up, not from pain but from unquenchable need. Dean brought one hand to the back of my head, my hair laced in his fingers. Brushing a stray strand behind my ear, he held me tightly against him. His breathing was heavy but his eyes were unyielding. I gripped the back of his neck and started moving up and down, our lips brushing against one another with each movement. Capturing my mouth with a bruising kiss, his hips started thrusting and I moaned. His arms encircled me and pushed me into his chest as he picked up the pace. He held me against his body as he rolled me onto my back. His lips blazed a hot trail down my neck, over my breasts, lingering at the hardened nubs. My body started to quake as he lapped and teased with his tongue. My back arched off of the mattress as my hands gripped his back, pulling him closer to me. My lips never left his as he continued to move inside of me. The feeling of him filling me, my heart bursting with emotion was unlike anything I could have imagined. All that mattered was _this _moment. There was no space between us. I couldn't tell where I started and he ended. We were one in every sense of the word and as frightening as that was, it was the truth. Cas had confirmed that we belonged together, but now I _felt_ it. His hands wove into my hair as he moved his hips in slow, circular movements. I could feel tension inside of me building, his breathing matching the frenzied pace of my heart. He cried out my name as warmth flowed through me.

We collapsed in a heap of sweaty tangled limbs. The last thing I remembered was resting my head on Dean's chest, listening to his relaxed, steady breathing, and smiled as I traced the outline of his tattoo. I finally drifted off to sleep feeling content and sated.

A chill tore through my body, and I scooted towards the edge of the small cot, searching for Dean's warmth. The mattress was cold and I sat up hugging the thin blanket to my chest. I let out a few breaths as I recalled the events of last night. Smiling, my fingers felt their way across my lips, down my neck, between my breasts. Warmth pooled between my legs, and I closed my eyes, seeing Dean hovering over me, blazing green studying my face and a look of pure adoration. I bit my lip to keep the memories within. I was selfish and wanted to keep what we shared to ourselves.

Dean's plaid shirt was hanging off the doorknob, so I padded across the floor and slipped it on, inhaling his sweet, musky sent as I nestled against the collar. The fabric was soft and worn, and since I couldn't have him next to me that moment, it would have to do.

The rest of the house was still dark, save for the small light coming from Bobby's desk, so I tiptoed down the hall to the kitchen for glass of water. I fumbled around for a glass and as I was about to turn on the faucet I heard harsh whispers coming from the sitting room. Holding my breath and listening, I hid behind the wall of the doorway.

"What were you thinking?" John's sharp voice carried through the empty house.

In the shadows, I could see Dean squeeze his hands into fists and his sides and his eyes narrow. "You're the last person I need to explain my actions to."

John gripped him by the collar of his shirt. "It's my business if your actions get us killed."

Dean threw John's hands off of him and let out a huff. "Not that it's any of your business, but it just happened, okay?" After a long pause, Dean sighed loudly. Lowering his voice to almost a whisper, he added, "I think I'm falling for her."

John let out a dark chuckle and fixed his stern gaze on Dean. "You've gotta keep your head in the game, Dean. We've got one chance and one chance only to stop Lucifer from getting out of his cage. Don't let her make you lose track of what's important."

John's bitterness and hatred hit me like a hard slap of reality. I knew where this conversation was going and as much as I didn't want to hear it, my feet were glued to the linoleum floor.

Pushing his shoulders back, Dean straightened his back, standing tall and proud in front of his father. "She's important," he said through gritted teeth.

"All you have to do is keep her safe. Make sure Anna doesn't get to her so she can't carry out her plan. That's all. You don't have time to be messing with feelings. There's no room for relationships in our life."

A silent tear slid from my cheek. Even if it wasn't for John to decide, it didn't hurt any less, and I couldn't stop thinking that maybe he was right. If Dean and I were to start something now, someone could get hurt...or worse. He couldn't afford to be distracted. The hope Cas had given me was short lived. Dean and I may have been destined to be together, but I doubted they, whoever they were, took the apocalypse into consideration when deciding our fate.

Dean lowered his head, almost ashamed, and John squeezed his shoulder, making him look up. "If you care about her, after this is over with Anna and we stop Lucifer, you need to cut her loose. I didn't have a choice with your mother, but you do. It's the only way she'll be safe."

Dean turned away from John, angrily shrugging out of his grasp. He was already at the doorway of the kitchen before I had a chance to slip away. I stood slightly dumbfounded in the middle of the floor watching him walk towards me. His eyes scanned my body, his lips turning up in a smirk when he reached my face. Stopping just in front of me, we were so close our noses almost touched.

I could feel his warm breath on my face as he exhaled slowly. "Hey."

Mustering a watery smile, I whispered, "Hi."

He reached his hand out, trailing it up my thigh and sending shivers down my spine. He paused and fingered the hem of the shirt I was wearing. "Looks good on you." He leaned in closer, his lips gently brushing against mine as he spoke. "But I think it would look better on the floor..."

The heat had already traveled the length of my body and settled in my cheeks. I swallowed thickly and squeaked out a pathetic "Yeah?"

He pulled away and searched my face, concern clouding his eyes. "You feel okay?"

"Yeah." My body felt fine but my heart...that was another story. I closed my eyes and shook my head, putting on a brave smile. I released the heavy breath I was holding. "I just woke up cold is all."

He grinned and said, "I know just how to warm you up."

I gave him a coy smile as I let my fingers find his hand and led him back to the small room. I took solace in Dean that night, not knowing if it would be the last. The way he held my body tightly against his made me think that maybe he didn't know either. Every time he looked at me, every gentle kiss placed reverently from my hip bones my temples, I almost let the words slip from my lips. I swallowed them like a bitter pill and kept what Cas had showed me to myself, the weight of it crushing me and making it hard to breathe.

~o~

"Looks like we've got a case to keep us busy until Anna decides to show up," Bobby said, placing a video tape in a VCR that had seen better days.

I rounded the corner with a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs and placed it on the coffee table in front of Dean, Sam, and John. Dean popped a piece in his mouth in his mouth and grinned at me with his cheeks full.

"Thanks, Bella," Sam said before scooting over and making room for me between him and Dean.

John grumbled his own thank you as he shoveled some eggs into his mouth. Apparently, that was where Dean got his eating habits from. I let their lack of manners slide. God knew how long it had been since any of them had a decent home cooked meal.

"Did you see that?" Bobby knelt in front of the television and rewound the tape again. "Right there. Look at the eyes."

"This just looks like footage from _World's Dumbest Criminals_. Not really our kind of problem."

"Look, you idgit!" Bobby paused the film and pointed to the screen.

We all leaned in for a better look, and I noticed the eyes of the man. They were silver and gleaming as he looked up in the direction of what must have been a security camera.

I gasped. "What is that?"

"Maybe it's just camera flare?" Dean shrugged and took another bite from his plate. "Why are you so sure this is a case?"

Bobby whipped the remote control to the ground. "Because it just is!"

"Who is this guy, Bobby?" I asked, trying to diffuse the tension.

Bobby walked over to the couch and sat down in the chair across from us. His face softened as he focused his eyes on me. "The son of a friend. She helped me out of a jam a couple years back. Right now he's sitting in a jail cell across town, except she just caught him jumping out of the window of his bedroom. She figured the only explanation was..."

I offered him a half smile as I finished his sentence. "Supernatural."

"Rewind the tape again." Sam furrowed his brows and frowned. "Take another look, Dean. That's not like any camera flare I've seen. You know, a lot of cultures believe that a photograph can catch a glimpse of the soul."

John finished chewing, wiped his mouth, and tossed his napkin down on the plate. "There's no distinguishable differences between humans and demons on film." He shook his head, somewhat disgusted. "You should know better than that, Sammy."

Sam sighed in frustration. "That's not what I'm saying. Maybe it's some kind of dark double. Something that looks like this guy but isn't him."

"Doppleganger?" Dean asked with a raised eyebrow. He got up and went over to the television and pressed play again. "What do we know that can make its self look like someone else?"

"Shapeshifter?" Sam asked. I stiffened, recalling my encounter with the Wendigo and the memories of the Quilette stories.

Dean shrugged. "Maybe. Every culture in the world has shapeshifter lore. You know..." he tossed me a pointed glance before continuing "...legends of creatures who can transform themselves into animals or other men.

The video had passed the point where Bobby kept rewinding, and it showed the same guy walk up to a bank teller and pass her a piece of paper. The young woman handed him a bag with shaking hands, then he strode towards the door, smiling in the camera one last time, his eyes reflecting the eerie glow.

With my jaw slightly hanging, I took a closer look, amazed at how Bobby managed to get his hands on surveillance from a bank robbery. The feds would have had their hands all over this case.

"How did you get these tapes?" I asked.

Bobby waved off the question. "Doesn't matter. Point is, this is definitely our kind of problem."

~o~

While Sam was interviewing some of the bank tellers, Dean and I walked down the back alley of the building looking for any clues.

"I know if I just robbed a bank, I wouldn't be walking the streets." Dean eyed a manhole that had the cover slightly askew. He walked over to it and kicked it off, turning to give me an inviting smirk.

I shook my head. "No way! I'm not going down there."

"Well, I'm not leaving you by yourself. What if Anna shows up?"

Shuddering and imagining the cold, damp tunnels. "Sam's right around the corner. Besides, I'd rather take my chances with Anna than with rabid rats crawling across my feet."

Dean placed his flashlight between his teeth and started to lower himself into the hole. I made my way over to him and knelt down beside him. We watched each other in awkward silence. He wasn't attempting to descend into the sewer any time soon, and I froze. What was he waiting for? A goodbye kiss?

"Be careful."

He gave a confident nod in my direction and soon disappeared into the darkness. I stood up and wrapped my arms around my waist, mentally kicking myself for not stealing just one more kiss. Sooner or later we were going to have to talk about what happened between us, and I knew the longer I waited, the harder it would be to tell him we couldn't have that kind of relationship. Not now, maybe not ever.

Fifteen minutes later, Sam came out of the bank and stood beside me. "He still down there?"

I nodded. "No gun shots though, so that's good...I guess?" I looked away from Sam and back towards the sewer.

"You two seem to be doing better."

"I just needed time to accept some things," I answered flatly, my gaze remaining on the uncovered manhole.

Sam placed his hands on my shoulders and gently turned me to face him. "Judging by the sound of your voice, it seems like the only thing you've accepted is that Anna is going to win." I tried to avert my eyes but his genuine concern held me in place.

My shoulders sagged and my voice broke. "It's not that."

Sam's eyes scanned my face. "Then what is it, Bella? Because Dean may not say it, but I know it. He loves you, and he's not going to let anything happen to you and neither will I."

"That's what I was afraid of."

Before Sam had a chance to press me for more answers, a loud clanking alerted us to Dean's presence. He was making his way up the ladder and when his eyes found mine, I dug my toe into the ground and fidgeted with the hem of my shirt. Dean always knew how set my body alight, but this was different. The way he drank me in, his mouth twisting into a devious smirk, it was like he just saw me for the first time. My heart started to race and my cheeks began to flush. I couldn't get the images of last night and early this morning out of my head. How would I ever be able to push him away when he looked at me like that?

Sam forced out cough so we wouldn't forget he was standing right there. "Did you find anything?"

"Nah." He strode toward us, grabbed my face in his hands, and planted a searing kiss on my mouth. My eyes rounded and my back went rigid as my body fought against giving him what he wanted and doing what I needed.

"Dean!" I snapped and pushed him off of me. Last nights events weren't exactly common knowledge, and I figured we'd at least discuss it first before we busted out the PDAs.

"What's the matter, sweetheart? You weren't pushing me away last night." He chuckled under his breath and gave me a cocky smile.

_'I cannot wait to get her in bed again.' _I was a bit taken aback as Dean's thoughts screamed in my mind.

That was the first time I had heard him in awhile, and it just sounded strange. He had gotten quite good at blocking me, so I wondered why he was letting me in. Maybe he was just horny, which was the last thing any of us needed. He needed to keep his head in the game, and I couldn't let myself get any more attached. I scowled at him, silently warning him to keep his thoughts to himself, and put some more distance between us.

Sam swallowed uncomfortably. "There wasn't any trace of him at all?"

"Well, yeah, I guess at one time that was his _lair_." He smirked as he said the word, like it was some kind of inside joke only he knew. "But he's long gone now."

Dean put a hand on his stomach as started to rub. "Guys, I'm starved." He caught up to me and threw an arm around my shoulders. "Maybe when we get back to Bobby's you can whip up a lasagna or something."

I exchanged a questioning look with Sam but he only shrugged. Based on Dean's strange behavior, I had a feeling that conversation we needed to have would be happening a lot sooner...like after he was fed.

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E/N – Buckle up, kiddos. Things are going to get bumpy. I'd say reviews are better than sex with Dean but that's just a flat out lie.


	24. Running

A/N – I want to take a quick minute to thank everyone reading this story. I was afraid I might have lost some readers because it had been so long between updates, but thank you so much for sticking around! If I haven't responded to your reviews in a while, please forgive me. Just know that I read and appreciate each one!

So most of you think something is up with Dean. Let's go see...

Song and chapter inspired by Imagine Dragons' _Amsterdam_.

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_I'm sorry, lover... I'm sorry, I bring you down. Well, these days I try and these days I tend to lie. Kinda thought I was a mystery, and then I thought it wasn't meant to be. You said yourself fantastically "Congratulations, you are all alone."__  
_

**Chapter 24 - Running**

"The boy is like a garbage disposal," Bobby said with wide eyes as Dean continued to scarf down another healthy serving of the lasagna I had made.

Dean was too busy eating and making disgusting noises as he shoveled the food into his mouth to hear us talk about him. Sam and I stood next to Bobby, both shaking our heads in disbelief.

Horrified, Sam curled his lips. "You should have seen him eat the three bacon cheeseburgers on the way over here."

I furrowed my eyebrows, continuing to watch him. "Guys, we all know Dean can pack it in...but this isn't normal."

Looking at his brother smile after each bite, wonderment etching Dean's face, Sam turned to face me. He studied my face with a pensive stare before speaking. "Do you think maybe you're just looking for something to be wrong?"

My brows knitted together and I started to back away from him. "What? No. Why would you think that?"

He reached out for my arm and pulled me closer to him before lowering his head to look at me. Softening his voice, he said, "I know what running looks like, Bella."

"I'm not running..."

Sam smiled slightly and raised an eyebrow. "Fine. Pushing."

Averting my eyes, I let out a chuckle. "Maybe."

"Don't. You're over thinking things. You're afraid of getting hurt, and you're trying to push him away before that happens. I've never seen him like this." He looked over to Dean and then back at me. "He's..."

"Happy," Bobby answered gruffly. "Between you and your cooking, it's like he found his own personal heaven. The only thing missing is a piece of..."

Pushing his plate away, Dean picked up his beer bottle and guzzled the whole thing down in less than five seconds. A loud belch echoed through the kitchen, and he leaned back in his chair letting out a loud, satisfying sigh.

I couldn't help the smile forming when I saw how content Dean was. "Pie," I whispered softly. "I have an apple pie in the oven."

Dean whipped his head towards the oven. "Pie?" _No wonder I love you_, he thought. "That was spectacular, sweetheart."

Bristling at his words, I slowly approached him from behind. Sam may have hinted at it, and last night I definitely _felt_ it, but the way it came out, hearing it like that, made it feel cheap.

I leaned over his shoulder and asked, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

With uncharacteristic speed, Dean reached out and grabbed me by the waist, placing me firmly on his lap. "What's up?"

I gave Sam and Bobby a worried look as if to say, _"See what I'm talking about?"_

Ignoring me, Sam turned to Bobby. "So we think the shifter is still out there. You up for a hunt?"

"What do I look like, a cripple? Come on, let's go."

Bobby started to reach for his keys off the hook but Dean shifted awkwardly and shoved a hand into his pocket and fished out his keys and tossed them to him.

"You can take my car."

"Okay..." Bobby hesitated, but his eyes lit up. "Thanks, son. I'll keep her in one piece." He made his way out the door and down the steps to where Sam was already waiting.

Dean turned his head back to me. I shied away from him and rested the back of my hand on his forehead. "Do you feel alright?"

He jostled me in his arms and squeezed my body tighter to his. "Perfectly fine, baby." Pressing a kiss to my neck, he added, "Now that we get to be all alone."

Squirming, I pushed myself out of his hold and stood up. "Dean, we really need to talk."

Dean shot out of the chair, and instinctively, I backed away towards the kitchen sink. I could hear the rapid beats of my heart thudding in my ears as he stalked towards me, his eyes dark and predatory. When I first met Dean, I gathered he was a bit of a womanizer. When things started to develop between us, it seemed as if that animalistic need had taken a back seat. Now lust was clouding his judgment, and it was making me a little uncomfortable.

Towering over me, he licked his lips. "About?"

I gripped the edge of the counter to steady myself. "About us...last night...we can't..."

"Of course we can. We've waited long enough, Bella. You can't fight this." _Do you have any idea how hard it was for him to keep his hands off of you? He got a taste... Now, it's my turn._ He started to run his hands up my sides and I flinched. "What's the matter? Why are you so skittish?"

I gave him a hard shove and he stumbled back. "Dean, stop it! What the hell do you mean _he got a taste_? You're scaring me."

A creepy smirk stretched across his face. "He didn't mention you could read minds."

My eyes widened and I tried to reach for a knife from the butcher's block. Dean advanced and swept his arm over the counter, knocking it to the floor. I lunged towards the knives but he grabbed me by my hair and yanked me back to him.

"Where is he? Where's Dean?"

He brought his face to my neck and inhaled deeply, and I shuddered violently. "I wouldn't worry about him. I'd worry about you. God, you smell good."

"What did you do to him?" I cried.

"You don't really want to know, do you, _sweetheart?_" I struggled in his arms. "How come you're heart doesn't race when I say it?"

I managed to wedge enough space between us so I could shove my knee between his legs. "Because you're not him!"

He fell to his knees and seethed. "You'll pay for that, bitch."

I sprinted down the hallway and ran up the stairs leading to Bobby's bedroom. I locked myself in the room and pushed a dresser up against the door. I started going through drawers trying to look for a weapon.

"Come on, Bobby. I know you must have something in here!"

Dean started to bang on the door, the doorknob rattling. "Come on, Bella. Don't do this. It's me..."

I stuck my hand in between the mattress and felt cold steel against my fingers. "No. You're not him. You'll never be him..."

I pulled out a revolver and held it in my hand as the door swung open and he moved the dresser across the floor. I brought my other hand underneath the gun and pointed it at his chest. "Where is Dean?"

He smiled as he approached me. "Put the gun down, Bella."

Stopping mid stride, he grabbed his head and grimaced. He took a few deep breaths and then calmness washed over his face and he laughed. "You're not going to shoot me. You love me."

"You really want to test that out?" My hands shook the closer he got. I shifted my eyes to a door against the far wall.

"He loves you, you know. He'll never come out and say it. He's too afraid of losing you like he lost his mommy." His voice was teasing as he snickered. "The guy's got some serious abandonment issues. First Mom dies, then Sammy leaves, and Dad ditched me. You gonna be next?" He pursed his lips looking at me pensively. "Nah, you love him too much to run, but that's not stopping Anna from killing you. Sooner or later everyone leaves him. He thinks you can't handle this life...but it's him that can't handle it. He'd rather die than be alone."

A steady stream of tears rolled down my cheeks. "Why are you telling me this?"

Before I had a chance to pull the trigger, he bent my arm down and I let out a blood-curdling scream as I felt the bones shatter and the gun fell to the ground. "Because I like to play with my food..."

Pushing through the pain, I bolted towards the door I had eyed earlier. I tripped over the corner of a rug and came crashing to the ground. Dean had picked me up by the scruff of my neck and smashed my face into the hardwood floor. Blood trickled down my face and the back of my throat. I scrambled on my hands and knees to the door and scratched at it, trying to pull myself up to open it. Dean was laughing as he watched me struggle. I managed to turn the handle and without looking, I dragged myself through the doorway, praying it led somewhere safe.

~o~

Even though I willed my body to move, my legs wouldn't work. I lay there staring at the ceiling, watching the cracks in the paint waiting for death. The door had led to the hallway. In my haste, I had used all my strength to hurdle my body through the door and wound up falling down a whole flight of stairs.

"Bella? Bella?"

I tried to cry out but my throat was sore and it only came out as a scratchy plea.

"Bella, you're going to be okay. The paramedics are on their way."

Through blurry vision, I managed to make out Sam's shaggy hair as he knelt over me. I smiled softly as I lifted my good arm up and brushed it out of his eyes. "Where's De..." I couldn't finish my question before the darkness crept in.

I blinked my eyes open and focused on my surroundings. A loud beeping noise seemed to be coming from my left, and I shifted in the bed to look at the machine that was monitoring my heart. Bringing my fingers to my nose, I felt plastic tubes in my nostrils. I tried to take a deep breath, but my chest hurt and I winced in pain. My eyes followed the perimeter of the room and rested on Dean's slouched form in the chair in the corner of the room.

"Dean?" It felt like I had swallowed a sword when I tried to speak. "You're here."

He got up from his chair and raced over to my bedside. Taking my good hand in both of his, he brought it to his lips and gave it a gentle kiss. "I'm so sorry, Bella." His voice was broken and his cheeks glistened under the florescent lights. "Thank God Sammy got to you in time. I don't know what I would have done if..."

It took every ounce of strength I had left to force a smile. "It's okay. It's not your fault."

He backed away as his face got angry. "It's not okay. Dammit, Bella, it's not okay! You almost died." He sat back down in his chair and watched me closely. Shaking his head, he started to smile. "You know, I've been at this hunting gig for awhile, and for what? I get to gank a few demons and stop some evil spirits. Why did any of it matter? But then you came into my life and it was like this light turned on. Everything made sense and I just _knew._.. Something inside of me told me that I needed to keep you safe. But I guess I screwed that up, huh? Well, I'm not going to let that happen again. I'll die before anyone hurts you."

I swallowed thickly, drowning in his confession. "Where's Sam?"

His jaw hung open as he looked towards the door. "Outside. Why?"

"I need to talk to him."

Dean made his way over to the bed and placed a kiss on my forehead. "I meant what I said, Bella. No one is ever going to hurt you again."

I turned away, unable to watch him walk away. A few minutes later Sam came in. I nodded towards the door, indicating he should shut it.

"Hey, Bella. How are you feeling?"

"Been better."

"The doctors said you should be out of here in a few days."

"Sam, I need you to do something for me." I reached around my head and took off the oxygen tubes and started to take off the heart monitor sensors, wincing as I maneuvered it all with one hand.

He walked over to the bed, his brows knitted together in confusion. "Bella, what are you doing?"

"I need you to break me out of here and take me to Bobby's." I inched off of the mattress and hobbled over to the closet for my clothes. "You can't tell Dean."

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E/N – I took a few liberties with skin walker lore. I don't know if they eat people, but hey, why not? Some of you were mad at Bella last chapter. Just a fair warning, you're probably going to be furious with her next chapter. Reviews are better than a certain trench coat wearing angel remembering the pizza guy.


	25. Since We're Being Honest

A/N – Bella's probably going to piss some more people off in this chapter. I hope you continue reading to see how it all plays out, but if you're sick of the back and forth, that's okay too. There is a happy ending if that sways you one way or another. Chapter is brought to you by Every Avenue's Between you and I.

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_Maybe it's all for the best, but I just don't see any good in this, no. Maybe we'll find something better, but the lovers that leave us will always hold the place._

Chapter 25 – Since We're Being Honest

I looked across the seat from me and watched Sam as he drove down the interstate, his eyes intently on the road. It didn't feel right, not seeing Dean behind the wheel, and I turned my head towards the window and watched the endless night whiz by in a blur. I closed my eyes, just wanting to drown in the silence, but Sam had other ideas.

"You said you weren't running." There was a hint of anger in his voice, and he didn't even bother to face me when he spoke.

I slowly opened my eyes and shifted in the seat, trying to get comfortable. I had asked Sam to take me to Bobby's thinking he wouldn't ask any questions. So far he hadn't disappointed me, but seeing the tension in his arms as he squeezed the steering wheel, I prepared myself for a fight. He'd never yell at me, but I knew he didn't understand why I was doing this, and the fact that his brother was most likely back at the hospital losing his mind now that his car and I were missing made Sam go into protective mode. Except instead of protecting me, he was protecting Dean...as he should.

"This is best for both of us."

Apparently, that wasn't the best thing for me to say because he whipped his head around and narrowed his eyes at me. The icy glare sent a physical chill through my body and I shivered slightly.

"How can you even say that? You have a fallen angel gunning for you, and she'll pretty much change history just to make sure you're dead. Bobby is a great hunter but Dean and I..."

I could feel the anxiety building in my chest. Sam and Dean were still in the dark about Anna's end game, and a part of me wanted to lay it all on the line because I trusted them. But my love for Dean was much stronger than the part that trusted my fate with the Winchesters. No matter how much Sam prodded, I couldn't tell him or anyone else for that matter. Their safety depended on my ability to skirt the issue and carry the burden on my own. If things went as planned, Anna would be killed and everything would go back to normal.

Steeling myself, I flexed my jaw and focused my eyes on his. I was a horrible liar and Sam was extremely intuitive. One wrong look and he'd know I was hiding something. I figured maybe small truths were the best approach. Sam and I had become incredibly close over the past months. I always felt a pull to him; there were too many uncanny similarities for us to ignore. We were kindred spirits who just got each other. If I could appeal to the part of him that related to me, maybe he'd let this go my way.

"Look, there's a lot that you and Dean don't know about. You need to trust me. I'll be safe here, but you and Dean can't be here. Promise me you won't let him come for me."

"Bella..."

I poured everything I felt into my eyes: unconditional love. Where John and Dean had felt abandoned by Sam when he took off for college, I could sympathize. He may have only recently discovered that he had demon blood flowing through his veins, but I think he always knew something was different about him, just like I always had. I think he left to keep his family safe, and now I was doing the same. I never questioned Sam's judgment; it always seemed he just knew the right thing to do every time. Whenever I struggled with my feelings for Dean, he always said exactly what I needed to hear. I loved and trusted him. He was like a brother to me, and I knew just like Dean, he'd sacrifice his own life for mine...for the greater good. I wouldn't let it come to that, and I needed him to know that I was doing this for all of us.

"Do you trust me?"

He let out a sigh and frowned. "I have up until now. This is crazy! We can keep you safe. If anything happens to you... If Dean loses you..." He shook his head and I could see him swallowing his emotions.

"I've already asked Cas to meet me at Bobby's. I know you're the Winchesters and all, but I think an angel trumps that any day." I let out a small laugh and tried to smile but it didn't reach my eyes, so I turned away before Sam caught on.

"This is a bad idea." His voice was firm but it had a hint of acceptance. "Just so you know."

I inched over to the middle of the car and rested my head on his shoulder and smiled sadly. "Thanks, Sammy."

I must have fallen asleep because the car had stopped and Sam was gently trying to maneuver my broken body into his arms. I felt him ascend the stairs and heard a door open.

"What the hell is she doing here? Why isn't she in the hospital?"

"She asked me to bring her here...without telling Dean. Bobby, you can't let your eyes off of her for one minute. Castiel is supposedly showing up later. She's up to something."

"Balls!"

The door slammed behind Bobby, and Sam placed me on the couch in the living room. Their voices turned to whispers, and I remained in the darkness of my mind for a little bit longer. I couldn't be sure how much time had passed, but I felt the couch dip. Opening my eyes, I saw Sam sitting next to me on the couch.

I propped myself up against a pillow. "You're still here?"

He placed his hands on his thighs and pushed himself off the couch. "I'm just about ready to go." He looked around before finding my eyes. "I don't know how long I'm going to be able to keep him away. You know once Dean gets something in his head..."

Nodding, I said, "You've already done more than I had any right to ask for. If he shows up, I'll handle it."

He leaned over and kissed me on top of my head. "Don't do anything stupid."

~o~

I was sitting on the couch, staring at the front door, half expecting Dean to bang it down, when Bobby came over and placed a steaming cup of coffee on the table in front of me. He stood there in silence for a solid minute. Realizing I wasn't going to acknowledge his presence, he let out a disgruntled sigh.

"How are you feeling?" When I didn't respond, he answered for me in an overly sweet voice. "I'm great, Bobby. Thanks for asking."

I tore my eyes away from the door and turned to him. "Better."

He shook his head and sat down next to me. "Come on, Bella. One word answers aren't going to cut it. You're in some deep crap. If you want me to help you, I need something to go on."

"The less you know, the better. Cas should be here by tomorrow at the latest. Then I'll be out of your hair."

"Dammit! I like having you here. It can get kind of lonely." He cracked a smile and laughed softly. "Not many people like spending time with an old coot like me." His eyes turned serious and he shook his head. "I don't get it. I see you sit here day in and day out just waiting for something to happen. Are you giving up? Is that what this is about?"

"No. I'm just making things easier."

Bobby shot up from the couch, raced over to the window, and roughly pulled the curtains back. He turned to me and narrowed his eyes. "You call this easier?"

Dean stood outside, a scowl on his face, glaring at the house. He was angry. That much was evident. I talked Sam into stealing his car and then took off without a word...again. By the time Sam had got back to the hospital, Dean had already tried calling Bobby's a bunch of times. First the main phone rang non stop. Just when we thought he was giving up, every other phone line Bobby owned started to ring. Dean had left a seething message that he was on his way. Once he realized I was gone, and his car was missing, he started walking down the main road, hoping to hitchhike. Sam ended up picking him up on the side of the road, and even though he had made no promises about keeping Dean away, I didn't think he'd bring him directly to Bobby's. Sam could have stalled a little longer. The whole ordeal was enough to make anyone blow.

Now, Dean just seemed lost. He paced back and forth outside, pulling on his hair, kicking rocks. His eyes were full of desperation when his eyes met mine. I felt a tugging pang in my chest when he caught me looking at him. I had been choking on guilt the entire time I was at Bobby's. I didn't want to leave him, especially when we were finally working things out. While John was trying to get to Dean, he had managed to get into my head, and now that was all I could think about. Between what he had said about losing Mary and then what the skinwalker managed to hijack from Dean's mind, I couldn't risk it. The only way to keep both of us safe was to be away from him...at least until Anna was dead.

I watched as he bent down and picked up a crowbar from the ground. Gripping it tightly in his hand, he gave me one last look, daring me to run outside and stop him. I knew the minute I opened that door, everything I'd done would be forgotten. He'd take me in his arms, kiss me, and tell me never to leave him again. But if I did that, there was a chance I would leave him for good.

I remained strong, keeping my flinching to a minimum as he took the crowbar to his car. He looked over his shoulder and directed his thoughts to me. _You like that, sweetheart?_

The driver's side window was the first to go, the glass shattering into a million little pieces with just one forceful blow. I winced as the glass fell to the ground. He smiled as he gauged my reaction. _I can do this all day, Bella._

We were both incredibly stubborn. He was determined to keep me safe, and I wasn't willing to accept the fact that he could. I had it set in my mind that this was the only way. Ultimately, I was wrong and he was right. There were no in betweens. While I had argued that there were varying shades of gray, he insisted there was only black and white in this life. I couldn't have him and keep him alive at the same time.

He shook his head one last time at me and took the crowbar to the trunk, lifting it up and smashing it down over and over again until the cover started flapping back and forth. Using such force, he even managed to put holes in the metal. The loud clanking of metal on metal rang in my ears and sent my heart off to a thunderous pace. I dug my nails into the palms of my hands as he took the crowbar to the sides of the car, kicking the doors when it didn't inflict enough damage.

Sweat dripped from his forehead as he worked the car over, huffing and groaning, his biceps and back muscles flexing. The way his body moved reminded me of our night together, and I had to tamp down the feeling of lust starting to pool between my legs. He was in too much pain, and that burden rested on my shoulders. Even if I managed to kill Anna and came out unscathed, I couldn't help but wonder if it would always be like this: one of us hurting. The world was made up of good and evil and one side always won. Lately, evil seemed to be at the finish line. Whenever the good guys seemed to be on top, it never came without sacrifice. I understood that now. This was my sacrifice, and no matter how much it hurt the both of us, I had to do it.

Standing in front of the car, he contemplated the windshield before punching it with his bare fist, a spiderweb crack instantly forming. He looked to the house one more time and stared at me for a long moment before chucking the crowbar across the junkyard. I silently stood up and walked away.

A few hours later the sky had darkened, indicating a storm was on its way, and I wondered what Dean would do now that he couldn't sit in his car to wait it out. Bobby had kept his promise and wouldn't let Dean in every time he knocked on the door the past couple of days. For the time being, he had just sat outside waiting for me to break. Time was running out, so he did something drastic. I looked over to the clock sitting on the bookshelf. _Come on, Cas. Where the hell are you?_

There was a knock on my bedroom door, and before I had a chance to open it, Bobby let himself in and stood in the doorway. "You're gonna need to talk to him some time."

I shook my head incredulously. "And say what?"

"Anything. That boy is..." he smirked and looked at me with a raise of his eyebrows "..._one_ of the most stubborn people I know. He'll stay out there all night if he has to. You're hurting...he's hurting. Just say something to ease a bit of that pain. For both of you."

"You think I'm doing this because I like hurting him?" I shook my head and frowned. "I'm doing this to keep him safe."

"Well, maybe you should tell him that so he doesn't think you're just leaving him for no reason. He's got a bad track record of people walking out on him."

Bobby walked out without another word, but before the door shut, it swung back open again. Dean poked his head through first.

"Hey." He didn't exactly look happy, and I couldn't blame him. The gruffness in his voice immediately put me on edge.

I looked down at the ground, mumbling to myself. What the hell was I supposed to say? _Thanks, Bobby. _Dean walked over to me and knelt down so his face was right in my line of vision.

"Bella, just talk to me." His voice was softer and I could feel the tears crawling their way up my throat.

"I'm so sorry." I could barely get the words out before the steady stream of tears fell.

Dean scooped me into his arms and held me close, rocking me back and forth. "Shh..." He placed a kiss on top of my head to soothe me. "It's okay, baby. Just don't leave me again. Please." I couldn't listen to him beg. The weight of keeping it all to myself had finally broke me.

I pushed away from him slightly and wiped my nose with my sleeve. "There's something I need to tell you."

Worry crossed his features. "Okay..."

"This thing with Anna, her trying to kill me...it's all part of this master plan and I..."

Relief seemed to set in and Dean smiled slightly. "Stop right there, sweetheart. I've had a lot of time to think about things, and I've finally realized something. There's no higher power, there's no God. I mean, there's just chaos and violence and random unpredictable evil that comes out of nowhere and rips you to shreds. None of that is worth a damn. The only thing that matters is you and me. We can fight whatever this is together."

He really had no idea how true those words were. The only thing that did matter was me and him and the child we were meant to have.

I bit the inside of cheeks to stop myself from crying some more. He needed to hear this. I took a deep, steady breath. "Dean, there is a God and he has big plans for us."

He tilted his head to the side. "_Us_?"

"The apocalypse isn't just about letting Lucifer out of his cage. It's about stopping the savior of the world from being born."

He stood up and started pacing. "So there's going to be another Jesus?" Dean shrugged and pursed his lips. "Big deal. Who cares? He didn't exactly save the world when he was alive, so this guy probably won't either. Evil is going to just keep coming, but we'll be there to stop it...together."

I closed my eyes, trying to force the clarity I had of our situation onto Dean without saying the words. Sadly, my super powers only consisted of reading minds, not sharing visions. Where the hell was Cas? This would be a lot easier if he could just show Dean.

"I think you're going to want to sit down for this." I gestured to the chair in the corner of the room. "Do you know why Anna wants to go back in time to make sure I was never born?"

He shook his head and sighed. "No. We've been killing ourselves trying to figure it out." He looked at me with disbelief in his eyes. "Do you? Have you known this whole time?"

I looked away, ashamed I had kept it from him for this long. "If I'm never born, the cambion will be born in my place instead."

"What the hell is a cambion?"

"The Antichrist."

"Great." His voice was laced with sarcasm. "Well, good thing we're gonna gank Anna before she has a chance to go back in time."

"I remember being so hurt and angry when I thought we were marked by Cupid. I felt like the life I had fought so hard for wasn't my own...that everything was planned for me because someone decided we'd make a cute couple." I paused, trying to choose my next words, but flashes of Dean and me flooded my mind. The way he'd always hold me in his arms, his fierce protectiveness, the gentleness of every touch and kiss, they were all things that couldn't be forced or faked. It was always real. Then the glimpse of an alternate reality caused my breath to hitch. Dean was holding my hand, kissing my forehead, love and awe reflecting in his eyes as I brought our baby into the world. I swallowed thickly.

I looked at him and his eyes were filled with the same emotion from that hospital room, and I forced myself to continue."But I...I...found out we were never marked to begin with, and even though I was relieved, I was also consumed by fear. They were so intense and I couldn't explain them. The only thing I could come up with was that they weren't my own. The thing is...they are. They always were. I just couldn't wrap my head around it. What I felt for you...what I feel for you, it's real, regardless of how I got there..."

He pulled me to his side and kissed the top of my head. "I know, sweetheart. I can't explain it either. I've never felt anything like this before."

I reared back and put a hand up so he'd let me finish. I was quickly losing my resolve, and if I didn't get this out now, I never would. "The thing is, they're still not my own. There is a higher power, whether it's God or Fate, I still don't know. All I know is we're meant to be together. Cas showed me all the different realities where our paths would have crossed one way or another, and it had nothing to do with Cupid marking us. They all led to the same place. You and I are going to bring the savior into this world."

"What?" Dean shook his head and laughed uncomfortably. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying when the time comes, we're going to have a baby, and that baby is going to save the world."

Dean pushed himself off of the couch and slowly backed away from me, still shaking his head. "No, no...that's not right. You and I...no...I don't..."

I looked up at him from where I sat and pleaded with my eyes. "Dean, I know you're scared. I'm scared too. I thought that running away would keep you safe, that I'd kill Anna and then things would just follow it's natural course. I was wrong. I can't do this without you. I need you..." I stood up and made my way over to him "...I love..."

He put his hand out to stop me. I looked at him and felt like he had taken his fist and shoved it through my chest and pulled my heart right out.

Turning away, unable to look at me, he started towards the door. "I can't do this right now."

He slammed the door behind him, and I fell down on the bed and let the tears flow freely. I wasn't sure how long I had cried before I passed out from exhaustion, but the room was pitch black when I woke up.

"Three hours."

I blinked my eyes open and focused in the darkness, trying to find where the voice came from. I rubbed my head and turned towards the corner of the room. Reaching over and flipping on the light on the edge of the desk, Castiel came into view.

"Is that how long I've been out or how long you've been here?"

He didn't answer but I heard his trench coat rustle as he came to the edge of the bed. "You told him."

"Yeah." I narrowed me eyes at him. "He didn't take it so well."

"He'll come around. It's a lot to take in."

I let out a crazed laugh. "You know what? It doesn't even matter. I don't think he'll ever come around. You and your buddies upstairs have screwed him over so many times, he doesn't even believe in God anymore. I don't blame him. I should have just stuck to our plan. So did you find her?"

He gave an affirmative nod. "We don't have much time. She'll realize I'm tracking her, and then I'll have to search for her again."

I grabbed my backpack from the floor and threw it over my shoulder. "Let me just say bye to Bobby."

Opening the door, I kept my eyes on the floor, a one track mind to get in and get out. I should have been paying attention because as I approached the staircase, I bumped right into Dean. Startled, I looked up and gripped the strap to my bag tightly.

He scanned my face and looked at the backpack. "You're leaving?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I've got some shit I need to do." My voice was flat. He didn't care, so why should I?

I tried to push past him, but he grabbed me by the shoulders and held me in place. "Dammit, Bella! I just got you back and now you're leaving again?"

"You didn't seem to be too worried when you slammed the door and walked out." All the fight had left me when he ripped out my heart.

He gripped me tighter and his eyes bored into me. "I freaked. I'm sorry, okay? It's a lot to take in."

I struggled in his arms. "Let me go, Dean."

"No. I'm not going to lose you."

Finally, I managed to break free of his hold and barreled up the stairs, taking two at a time. He called after me but didn't follow. I was about to knock on Bobby's door when the door across the hall opened and John Winchester stood in the doorway.

"John!" It was like divine intervention guiding me yet again, and I knew exactly what I needed to do.

It was a lot easier to tell John everything. I plead my case to him and he said he'd help.

We walked down the stairs together, and Cas was standing in the living room with Dean, Sam, and Bobby.

"I'm leaving." I looked around the room, purposely avoiding Dean's gaze.

Cas came to my side, ready to whisk us away.

"Like hell you are!" Dean rushed towards us, but John stepped in front of me.

"Let her go, son."

Dean stood toe to toe with John and got in his face. "This is exactly what you wanted!"

John, being slightly taller, stared him down. "No, this is what she wants. You need to let her go."

I heard muffled shouts, and then I was spinning in darkness. A part of me wondered what else there was for Dean to say, but the rational part of me quickly squashed that and told me it was better if I didn't hear it.

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E/N – Don't be too mad at Dean. It's a lot to swallow. And Bella...she loves being the martyr. It's in her nature. Reviews are better than Dean working me over...


	26. Faith

A/N – Hey guys! First some housekeeping. This is the second to last chapter. Lots of stuff going down in here. You'll want to pay attention. There will be one more chapter after this and then an epilogue. You guys went easy on Dean last time, so thank you. If he didn't piss you off last chapter, I'm pretty sure he will now.

This chapter is brought to you by O.A.R's song _Shattered _(Turn the Car Around). Give it a listen. It's pretty perfect.

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_In a way, I need a change from this burnout scene. Another time, another town, another everything, but it's always back to you. _

**Chapter 26 - Faith**

"You're getting stronger."

I rubbed my temples and squinted my eyes. "But it hurts. Everything that you think directly at me comes in loud and clear. The other stuff...it's a jumbled mess I have to sort through. It takes a lot out of me."

Cas put a gentle hand on my shoulder and stood in silence before walking past me and into the small kitchenette. I heard the faucet turn on and off, and he came back with a glass of water. He placed it in front of me and opened his other palm to reveal two aspirin. I gave him a small smile before taking the pills from him and popping them in my mouth. Reaching for the glass, I brought to my lips and swallowed it down.

"There are some lower level demons in the area. Would you like to work on your tracking abilities?"

I rubbed my eyes and shook my head. "I'm tired."

We had spent the majority of the morning training with the Angel Blade. Cas was surprisingly well versed in hand to hand combat. He explained that angels were soldiers first, commissioned with the task of keeping Heaven safe. You'd think Heaven would be safe because of...I don't know...God being all mighty, but apparently there was major upheaval amongst the angels after Lucifer fell.

Michael had cast Lucifer into Hell and some of the angels thought that punishment was a little harsh. What was Lucifer really guilty of? Loving God too much? When God created the humans, Lucifer refused to love us more than his own maker, and he was punished. It wasn't like I had sympathy for the devil, but it seemed like he got the shit end of the stick. Some of the angels felt the same way as Lucifer; they just didn't have the guts to fall like he had.

An angelic civil war broke out, brother fighting brother, all because one stubborn angel had an ego the size of the Chrysler Building. There were the good guys like Cas, the dutiful sons that obeyed their father no matter what because they _believed_...they had faith in God. Then there were the bad guys, like Lucifer, the angels that dared to ask _why_? They didn't hate humans; they just wanted to know why they should love us more than God himself. What was so special about us? It all sounded incredibly petty when Castiel told me the history.

End of the day, the good guys won, Lucifer's followers were either killed or thrown out of Heaven, and now the remaining angels suffered from a bad case of PTSD. Too battle worn, they had lost their way. They had been created to serve us, and now they didn't even know who they were saving. All that crap about angels watching over humanity, executing God's will, was just a cover. All they cared about was making sure the Host of Heaven remained unharmed by _us_. We were the people they were supposed to guide and protect, and now they thought we were the biggest threat with that pesky little thing God gave us—free will.

Honestly, with what Cas had told me about the Archangels—they were fierce, absolute, and Heaven's most terrifying weapon—I had to think maybe they were letting the power go to their heads. They were calling all the shots and ordering around lower angels like Cas to do their bidding, even if it contradicted what God wanted. They'd always use the guise of "the greater good" to force them to obey. Luckily for me, Cas had valued the position God bestowed upon him over any Archangel with a power trip. He really was my guardian angel in all senses of the word. I was his charge and making sure I fulfilled my destiny was the only thing that mattered to him.

The more I learned about angels, the more I couldn't stand them. From the outside, Heaven seemed like some type of all-exclusive holy nightclub. If you didn't follow the dress code, they booted you out. I couldn't really blame Anna and Lucifer for jumping ship. Granted, they were still trying to kill me, but I'd be bitter too if I was kicked out of my home because I wasn't a part of the "in-crowd."

"Now is not the time to be careless. You need to be your strongest when we encounter Anna."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Exactly. So I should get some rest so I don't do something _careless_." I got up from the table and put my glass in the sink. Turning around to face him, I said, "You know, I don't even know if I should be using my abilities. You say it gives me an advantage, but we don't even know why I have them. What if it's part of her plan? Eve needed me to go all darkside to break Lucifer out of the cage...maybe that's still part of it."

I could feel the pressure weighing me down. My shoulders and my face fell. "I feel like it's taking over, Cas. The more I use them, the harder it is for me to remember who I am."

He advanced towards me, his eyes clear and face confident. Gripping my shoulders, he looked down at me. "God would never have given you these powers if you couldn't handle it. This is part of _his_ plan, Bella."

Shrugging out of his hold, I scowled at him. "Don't feed me that crap about everything happening for a reason, Cas. I get it, okay? It's my destiny to save the world...but it's not easy...and I don't have to like it."

I stormed off to my room, but Cas was already sitting on the bed when I opened the door. I let out a loud sigh. "Really?" My face was full of disgust. I was done talking. I just wanted to take a nap.

"I wasn't done." His face was blank but his eyes were stern.

"Yeah, well I was done listening. I'm going to bed."

He moved off the mattress and walked towards the door, lingering in the doorway. "You don't know who you are without him." His voice was final and the truth of his words paralyzed me. Adding insult to injury, he decided to assault me silently. _And he has no faith without you._

I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing his thoughts from my mind. We never talked about him. I couldn't bring myself to think about him or wonder what he was doing, how he was doing...without me. The less I thought about Dean, the easier it was. I had a hard enough time controlling my abilities and when I let myself think about how I had to hurt him by leaving or the emptiness I felt without him, nothing worked right. I'd hear too many thoughts, a cacophony of desires and intentions. It was so overwhelming at times, I'd pass out with a migraine. I couldn't track worth a damn. My senses warred with each other and sent me on a wild goose chase until the demon Cas and I were tracking disappeared completely. Other times it led us right into a trap, and I couldn't fight my way out of a paper bag. Castiel had to smite them, and then I just felt useless all over again.

Using my hatred for Anna to fuel the fight, I was able to harness a lot of that power. When I looked at Anna as the source of all our pain, instead of blaming myself, the things I was able to do shocked even me. My coordination was flawless when it came to hand to hand combat, and I didn't need to wait for Cas to tell me a demon was in the area. It was a weird tingling sensation that started in my gut and seeped into my bones. It put me on edge, and I could just tell when there was something evil lurking about. Somehow, I was able to tap into something inside of me and spread it out like a web, searching for all supernatural activity within a hundred mile radius. When I was really on the ball, I could even start to hear thoughts from that distance. That usually knocked me out for a good twelve hours, so it wasn't something we liked to do often.

~o~

I felt the presence in the room long before I made my move. My fist was under my pillow gripping the Angel Blade as I waited to strike, their warm breath fanning my face. Using my other hand, I reached up and grabbed them by the throat, using leverage to flip them over on their back and bringing the blade to their neck.

Sam's hair flopped in his face as he smiled uncomfortably. "Hey...hey, Bella."

"Sam!" I climbed off of him and paced across the floor as he sat up and leaned his back against the headboard of the bed.

He raised his eyebrows. "Nice moves... Where'd you learn to do that?"

I rolled my eyes and answered flatly. "Cas. What the hell are you doing here?"

Sam nodded towards Castiel who was standing in the doorway. "He said you'd be in here. He left the part out about you being a crazy ninja assassin."

Cas had a smirk on his face when I turned around to face him. I walked back over to Sam and reached out my hand to help him off the bed. "Sorry, Sam. So why are you here? How did you even find me..."

"That would be my fault." Cas stepped forward and faced Sam with a raised eyebrow. "You did an angel summoning spell?"

Sam squeezed his hands into fists at his side and glared at Castiel. Raising his voice, he said, "I didn't have another choice. I've been praying to you since it happened." He turned to face me, awkwardly shoving his hands into his pockets and frowning. "I know you need time, Bella, and I wouldn't have tried to find you if it wasn't important. I know you're trying to keep us safe, but...it's Dean...he..."

I looked at Sam sympathetically. "Look, as soon as Anna is eliminated..."

"He's in a coma, Bella."

My heart felt like it dropped into my stomach, bile churning and threatening to spill. "What are you talking about? That can't..." I stumbled towards the desk and fell into the chair.

"The doctors don't think he's going to make it..." Sam's voice broke and he squeezed his eyes shut "...too much brain damage."

Shooting up from the chair so fast it fell back, I rushed towards Cas. "You knew?" Placing my hands on his chest I gave him a shove but he didn't move. "You knew about this and didn't save him?" My jaw tenses as I seethed.

He steeled his icy gaze upon me and very stoically said, "It wasn't for lack of trying."

I ignored his cryptic words and spun around and looked at Sam, my eyes swimming with fear and hatred. "Did she do this? Was it Anna?"

He shook his head slowly. "No, I don't think it was her. We were investigating these murders. The mannequins were coming to life and killing people. After some digging, I found the vengeful spirit and I tried to salt and burn the body, but she possessed the Impala. She ran Dean over..."

I covered my mouth with my hand as my eyes began to water. "Oh my God..." I looked over to Castiel. My shoulders slumped forward as the fury melted away. The possibility of losing Dean threatened to break me. "I need to see him." Cas nodded silently.

~o~

Bobby and John were sitting in chairs outside of the hospital room. Bobby had got up without a word and pulled me into his arms and hugged me tight. The tears fell freely at that point. I tried to keep it together when Sam had told me what happened. I swallowed back the tears, the bitter, salty taste hard to stomach. But now, knowing Dean was just a few feet from me fighting for his life, John and Bobby looking like they hadn't slept for days, it all made it so real.

He pulled away and smiled sadly. "It's good you're here. If anyone can pull him through this, it's you."

John's eyes zeroed in on Castiel and he charged him, gripping the lapel of his trench coat and shoving Cas up against the wall. "You're an angel. I know what you can do," he spat. "You heal my boy!"

"Dad, stop. This isn't helping Dean!" Sam grabbed onto John's shoulders and pulled him away.

I knew John couldn't hurt him, but that wasn't my concern. Cas could have healed Dean, but he didn't, which meant there were forced beyond any of our control at play.

I wedged myself between Castiel and John and extended my arms for space. "Sam's right. This isn't helping anyone."

As John and Sam backed away, I took Cas by the hand and guided him towards a utility closet. I opened the door and shoved him inside.

"Alright, what gives?" My eyes scanned his face, looking for any tells that he was up to something.

He narrowed his eyes at me and spoke firmly. "I already told you. I tried to heal him. It didn't work."

I closed the space between us. He backed up into shelving while I got in his face. "Why?"

"I don't know. God works in mysterious ways, Bella."

Whipping my arm across one of the shelves, cleaning supplies fell to the floor. "Don't give me that bullshit, Cas. What the hell are you playing at? Forget for just one second that your a servant of God and act like my friend... This isn't God's will. This is my life. Dean's life. You have the power to fix this...make it right. If you won't do it for me, do it for the savior you're putting all your faith in. If Dean dies, that baby won't be born."

"I want to, Bella, I do..." he shook his head and his face fell "...but I can't. He has no faith."

I turned around and walked out without another word. I could be angry at Cas, but it wasn't his fault. It was mine. I needed to convince Dean that he needed to keep fighting.

I took small steps towards the door, the whole time my heart hammering in my chest, afraid of what I would see. I reached out hesitantly for the handle and looked over my shoulder at Cas who was standing silently behind John and Bobby, his face a mask of calmness. We all knew he could fix this, so why hadn't he? I wasn't above begging, but the fact that he hadn't done it on his own told me there were other forces at play.

The door shut behind me and I shuffled across the floor to Dean's bedside. Seeing his broken body in that bed, his chest rising and falling in time with heart rate monitor killed me. My throat got dry and something squeezed my chest making it hard to breathe. I fell to my knees and gripped his his hand in mine. My cheeks were wet as I pressed his hand to my face, kissing his knuckles, just trying to be close to him.

"Dean, you have to wake up. We've been through so much. This is nothing. You need to fight this..." my voice broke and more tears fell from my eyes "...the world needs you." I wrapped my arms around his neck and placed a kiss behind his ear as I whispered, "I need you." I started to shake as sobs wracked my body. "I love you, Dean." I pulled away and looked at his peaceful face. "Do you hear me? I love you. You're going to come through this. I'm not going to leave you again. I was stupid to think being away from you would make me stronger. You're my strength. You're my everything... We're gonna kill Anna, and then we're going to live happily ever after."

I squeezed myself onto the edge of the bed and looked at him. "You, me, and Sam...we're gonna keep saving people and hunting things." I laughed through my tears. "You know, the Winchester family business."

I rubbed soothing circles on his hand and smirked. "And I know what you're going to say, so don't. You don't have to worry about keeping me safe. I actually have a pretty mean right hook. I can handle myself against anything we're gonna come across. Cas has been teaching me how to fight. The guy can cause some serious damage. Who knew?" I laughed nervously. "I guess it's true what they say. You gotta be scared of the quiet ones."

My face turned serious as I squeezed his hand. "I know you freaked over what I told you. It's okay. If Cas didn't show me...if I wasn't there to feel it, to see how real it was...I wouldn't have believed it either. The baby thing is scary. It doesn't have to happen overnight. Hell, having a baby is the last thing I need, but it's that baby...what it means for us...for the world. It gives me hope."

I pressed my lips to his. "We belong together, Dean. Even if it wasn't part of our destiny, I would have found you. My heart had a hole in it, and it's shaped like you." I pressed my lips to his. "You're it for me. I never had a choice...but I don't even care. Just come back to me."

Pulling away, I swiped at my tears. "Think about what I said, okay?" I gave him a hopeful smile before making my way to the door and leaving.

I opened the door and took a deep breath. Sam, Bobby, and John all looked at me with hopeful faces.

Sam walked over to me, worry in his eyes. "Any change?"

I shook my head. "Not yet. I'm going to go grab some coffee." I looked over to John and Bobby. "Anyone want anything?"

Bobby stood up. "That sounds like a good idea. We haven't had much to eat."

~o~

We were walking back from the cafeteria when John had finally spoke. "We're Winchesters. It takes a lot more than a car to kill us."

I smiled but it didn't reach my eyes. "Yeah. Winchesters don't give up, right?"

"He's gonna pull through, Bella," Sam said, but the confidence was missing from his voice.

We passed a nurses' station when it suddenly buzzed with activity. They were rushing around, shouts of "he's finally awake" and "page Doctor Hyatt."

The coffee slipped from my hands and fell to the ground as we chased after the medical team. Rounding the corner, I saw Cas walk out of Dean's room, rubbing his hands together. I stared at him but he smiled calmly. He had healed Dean. Whatever I said, even if I was beginning to doubt it, worked. He had faith and that was all that mattered. Dean was alive...he was going to be okay. I pushed through the doors even though the nurses yelled for me to back away, and I threw myself into Dean's arms.

He looked a bit dazed, and an orderly had to pull me off of him. They were dragging me outside, but I called after Dean. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be waiting for you, okay?"

~o~

I was back at Bobby's straightening things up for when Dean was released from the hospital. They had said it'd be a few days. They just wanted to monitor him and make sure there was no permanent damage. The doctors thought it was a miracle. There was no medical explanation for his recovery. I knew we had Cas to thank for that, but the nagging voice in my mind wanted to know what had taken him so long to do it.

We got into a little blow out after Dean woke up. Cas said it was time for us to leave, but I told him I was staying. After training with him for so long, I knew I was strong enough, and having Dean by my side would only make me stronger.

The water was running and I was washing dishes when the door behind me shut and startled me. I gripped a knife in my hand under the water in the sink and spun around. Dean stood in front of me, a pained expression crossing his features.

"What are you doing here?"

I dropped the knife and stared at him incredulously. "What do you mean? I told you I was staying."

"Why?" His voice was flat, angry.

I shook my head and wiped my wet hands on my thighs. "Why what?"

He flexed his jaw. "Why are you here? Don't you have to save the world?"

My mouth hung open and I furrowed my brows. "Yeah..._we_ have to save the world."

Dean chuckled darkly, his eyes narrowing. "No, sweetheart, you made it perfectly clear you had to do it by yourself. You don't need me..." he grimaced and shook his head "...and I don't need you."

The venom he spat guided my feet when I thought my whole body would collapse on the floor. I tilted my head back and laughed as I opened the door and walked out.

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E/N - Everything will come full circle next chapter. I promise! And there will be a happy ending in the very next chapter so you won't have to wait for the epilogue. Stick with me. Trust me. We're almost there, guys!


	27. Shot in the Dark

A/N – End of the road, darlings. This is it. Last stop on this crazy train. Since I'm OCD and this is an odd number, I'll be posting an epilogue to make it an even 28 chapters. Many thanks to my wonderful team Bean. We've lost some members along the way but without MissJanuary and spn-lost-twi, this story would be complete and utter crap. The chapter is brought to you by Florence + the Machine's Shake It Out.

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**Chapter 27 – Shot in the Dark**

_I'm damned if I do, and I'm damned if I don't. So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road. And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope. It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat. Cause looking for heaven found the devil in me. Well what the hell, I'm gonna let it happen to me._

Most normal people would think twice about locking themselves in an abandoned warehouse with a demon. But I never said I was normal. Tiny drops of water from a leaky pipe splashed on the concrete floor and echoed throughout the empty room. There was a chill in the room, whether it was from my supernatural _friend_ or the elements, didn't matter. I was so focused, I ignored the involuntary quiver of my body. It took so much control, I started to waver on my feet, losing my bearings momentarily, but despite the stars swimming behind my eyes, they remained trained on the target. A thin sheen of sweat covered my brow as I struggled for concentration.

The demon tried to break free from his ties, the scraping of the chair against the floor grating my ears.

"Why are you even bothering?" I looked up, indicating the devil's trap spray painted on the ceiling.

He let out a cackle. "You hunters keep getting craftier and craftier these days. Traps on the ceilings? What's next? Holy water in a Super Soaker?"

I took a step closer, mindful of the boundary. "One, I'm not a hunter. Two, that's a really good idea!" Turning to my side, I looked at Cas with a smirk. "You should be taking notes."

The demon continued to move in his seat, fighting the binds holding him in place. "I'm not going to tell you anything so you might as well just kill me."

I tilted my head to the side as if contemplating his request. His eyes widened in surprise. Smiling, I took another step forward into the circle.

"It's alright. I already got what I needed."

"Stupid move, little girl." He snapped his wrists out of the rope and knocked the chair back, charging at me.

I saw his plan of attack in my head before he even got out of the chair. As he approached, I lifted my elbow, making contact with his nose. He stumbled back and I hooked my leg behind his knees, causing him to fall to the ground. Growling as he tried to get up, I placed my foot over his throat and pushed all my weight down on him. His black eyes glared at me as he opened his mouth to let the demon out. I tilted my foot, forcing his jaw shut with the toe of my boot.

"You're not getting away that easy." I took a deep breath and narrowed my gaze at him.

It was like fast forwarding to the really scary parts of a movie and then playing it in slow motion. All of the people he had killed flooded my mind. Images of horrified faces, crippling physical and emotional pain as their last thoughts were consumed by the loved ones they left behind. I dug inside of myself and used all my strength and concentration to cast everything I felt onto him like a web, spinning him up in guilt. Using my power like a muscle, I flexed it and reached the darkest depths of his mind, places that long lost humanity hid when the demon took over. That was when the screams started. He writhed on the ground, begging me to kill him, as I assaulted him with every ounce of suffering he had ever inflicted. His eyes began to roll in the back of his head as his body convulsed, an awful high pitch frequency filling the air. Apparently that happened when demons' brains were scrambled from the inside out.

"Bella, that's enough!" Cas pulled me away, and I looked over my shoulder and saw the unconscious demon on the floor, white foam dripping down the side of his mouth.

"Are you listening to yourself?" I pointed to the lifeless body on the floor. "He killed hundreds of innocent people." I turned back to him and steeled my gaze. "He deserves to die."

"Yes, he does." He gripped the angel blade in his hand and pushed past me, stabbing the demon. A column of black smoke shot through the hole Castiel had made in his chest and disappeared into the air. He returned the blade to the inside of his jacket and stalked back towards me.

His lips formed a thin line and his eyes hardened. "You were torturing him. He will pay for his sins, but it's not up to you to decide when or how."

Pacing around the body, I chuckled darkly. "Really? I recall a talk where you told me God gave me these powers for a reason."

Cas gripped me by the shoulders and pulled me back to face him. "This. Is. Not. Your. Purpose." He enunciated each word with such firmness it felt as I was being hit by tiny angelic bullets.

I pushed out of his hold and took a step back. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is my only purpose to be a savior incubator? By the way...nice job with that one. When you healed Dean you also Etch-a-Sketched his ass too. It's probably going to be awhile before we're back to baby making again."

His jaw tensed as he narrowed his eyes at me. "I had my reasons." As quickly as the emotion came, it vanished. His face was blank and his voice was cold. "Apparently, I was misguided. You're self destructing anyway." He spun around, his trench coat swishing with the action, and he stalked towards the door.

I chased after him. "What are you talking about? I'm finding out how to stop her." He kept walking and I raised my voice. "I'm getting the job done!"

He froze for a moment and turned around in a very controlled movement. "You call this getting the job done? You barely succeeded reading him! I saw you falter, you almost went down...and we don't know how long it would have been for this time. What if Anna came after you when you were unconscious?"

Scowling, I said, "You're the one that wanted me to use my powers!"

He let out a sigh."In the situations of my choosing, Bella. Every demon I've had you track and read has been a lower level demon."

I smirked, my head held high. "Well, I guess I'm better than the all-knowing Castiel ever anticipated. I'm ready for Anna. She's not going to make it out of this alive."

Castiel waved two of his fingers in the direction of the wall, and I went flying. I hit it pretty hard and slumped to the ground. Wasn't expecting that but I needed this. If he was turning this into a physical argument, that was fine by me. That demon hadn't put up much of a fight, and since I started tracking them down, I found I liked the fight more than the chase.

I had been out of my mind with anger when I realized Cas had wiped Dean's memory. Instead of confronting him, knowing he would never give me a straight answer anyway, I lashed out on the ugly, belly-to-the-ground, supernatural pieces of crap that got me into this mess. Any demon within hunting distance was mine.

At first I'd just follow Castiel's orders: read their minds and then spout some Latin, sending them to God knew where. We were trying to get information on Anna so we could figure out her plan before she had a chance to make a move. On one particular occasion, his intel was wrong. We were ambushed. When we walked into that dilapidated house, one of the demons invoked an Angel Banishing Sigil. I was left without Cas to protect me. My instincts and training kicked in. I took on two of the demons, but it was almost too easy to take them out. They were just a distraction. The third one had used the blood of one of his victims to draw the Sigil.

It was a trap. Their plan had been to get me alone so Anna could swoop in and do her time warp thing. The big guy, the one in charge didn't seem too phased when his guys were left as lifeless lumps on the floor. The unconscious girl on the floor with blood trickling down her arms was bait, his cronies just collateral damage. He was almost as tall as Sam but with broader shoulders, but I still was able to get a few punches and a round house kick in. Soon, he over powered me and had me pinned to the floor. That was when I realized my powers were stronger in a heightened emotional state. When faced with the fear of dying, I was able to get into his head without him even thinking about or at me. Then his memories flooded my mind and I was able to use that against him. The torture he had inflicted on that poor girl lying on the floor vibrating under my skin and down into my finger tips. I reached out to push him off of me and he jerked back like he was being electrocuted. A high pitched screeching filled the air and the demon was startled long enough I was able to get the upper hand. I reached to my pant leg and pulled out a knife Cas had given me. It was similar to the one Dean and Sam used, but packed a little more of a kick because it was an angelic artifact. I stabbed the demon in the gut and killed him instantly.

After I gained my bearings, I wiped away the Angel Banishing Sigil so Castiel could come and heal the girl. I supported most of her weight as her arms draped over my shoulders. I struggled towards the doorway when Castiel appeared. He looked pretty shaken up, not even giving a second thought to the girl at my side that was near death. That was when I realized the extent he was willing to go to to keep me safe. The lines between good and evil had blurred and I decided right then and there that once Anna was finished, I'd cut them all loose. God—if there even was one, which I highly doubted these days—had given me and Dean a destiny. But he also gave us free will. I was done doing this their way. I never confronted Cas of my suspicions. I decided to keep him in the dark just like he had done to me.

Now, watching him take effortless strides in my direction, a fierce, smiting look on his face, I knew it had finally come to a head. We were about to have it out. It could go one of two ways: the spineless, soulless son of a bitch would rattle off something about the greater good or I was going to hand him his lily-white ass...or die trying.

I tried to get myself up off the floor, but he had already reached me and pulled me up by the collar of my leather jacket, his furious eyes boring into me.

"I rebelled for this? So you could serve yourself to her on a platter?"

I shook my head, slightly startled from his uncharacteristic anger. "No. I'm going to kill her..."

He only gripped on to me tighter when I tried to push out of his grasp. "You won't. You're throwing it all away. Everything I've worked for... I gave everything to you and this is what you give to me?"

His words stirred something inside of me. I was still furious with him for what he did to Dean, but my heart twinged in regret. What could he have possibly given up for me?

"You want to talk about sacrifices? What about what I sacrificed, huh? Dean and Sam? John...Bobby? We've given our lives to this...to make sure that the world keeps spinning so the good guys...the angels still have something to protect. And for what?" My voice shook but I refused to let the tears fall. "After I kill Anna...and I _will_ kill her...I'm done. I don't want you to come find me for another goddamn thing. You got me? My destiny...considered it fulfilled."

A look of understanding washed over his face and he loosened his grip and released me. I slumped against the wall for support and Castiel shook his head, his eyes sad.

"I've failed you, Bella, and for that I am very sorry." He moved to stand next to me, both our backs against the wall.

I slid down, needing to sit for this conversation, and he followed. We sat on the cold, concrete floor, not looking each other. My slow breaths filled the quite room.

"Did you know I volunteered for this position? My sisters and brothers were skeptical of you. This was long foretold. We knew Lucifer would try to get out, and we knew our father would find a way to stop him, just as he always had."

Turning to face him, I raised an eyebrow. "Me?"

"He created you with purpose. You're not only meant to save the world, but also make it better. The other angels...they're not afraid of losing. They may not be able to stop the apocalypse without you, but they will find a way to stop Lucifer. The world will be destroyed in the process, but it's just another casualty of war. They'll just start over."

"So they don't care if I die?" My voice cracked, knowing that without Heaven on my side, my death was imminent. "They don't care if Dean and I ever bring the savior into the world." It was a statement, not a question.

Castiel frowned. "I think they're counting on it."

Our conversation about the angelic wars flooded my mind. They wanted me dead so they'd be forced to start over and run Heaven the way they always wanted.

I noticed a small smile forming on his lips. "I love my father, just as I love all of his creations. The moment he created you, I knew what I must do. I don't follow the word of Heaven anymore, Bella. I follow you."

My mouth opened to speak but nothing came out. He faced me front on and looked remorseful.

"I'm sorry I erased Dean's memory, but I would gladly do it again. I knew your powers were tied into your emotions. I needed you mad...mad at me, mad at Anna, mad at Dean... I wish I didn't have to deceive you. Dean needed to live for obvious reasons, but I needed him out of the picture temporarily. If he died in that hospital, I knew you would have given up right then and there. But if I allowed you two to fight Anna together, one of you will die. You know I can't let that happen, Bella." His brows knitted together as he bore his eyes into me.

I shook my head and chuckled darkly. "Well that's going to make things difficult."

"What do you mean?"

"The demon I just killed...I was able to extract information. This whole going back in time to stop me from being born...it was just a red herring. She's after Dean instead. According to Mr. Mush for Brains over there..." I nodded my head towards the body on the floor "...she already has him."

Frantically, I dug into my pocket, pulled out my cell phone, and dialed Dean's number, just praying that the demon was wrong.

"Hello?" His gruff voice calmed my thundering heart.

"Dean?" A wave of relief washed over me. "Dean, where are you? You need to stay put..."

"Bella, what do you want?" There was some crackling in the connection, but I could still make out the spite in his words.

"Where are you?" I cried.

"Sammy and I just took care of a rougarou in Carthage. What's the matter, sweetheart? Did you need help with that pesky apocalypse problem of yours?"

"Dean, listen to me. Anna was never after me. She's after you. Just stay put. Cas and I are on our way."

~o~

Everything looked normal: nice house, manicured lawn, even a white picket fence. We walked down the stone walkway. The front door was slightly ajar and I pushed it open. The smell of charbroiled skin assaulted us as we made our way through the living room. I stepped over the burnt body on the floor.

"I'm guessing that was the rougarou," Castiel said, gesturing the floor with a nod of his head.

"Yeah..." I paused, spinning around the room. "But where's Dean?"

We heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and I gripped the knife in my hand.

"Not here, sweetheart."

She was inhumanely beautiful with alabaster skin, wide green eyes, and deep red hair. Her words should have put me on edge but the sound of her voice was so soft and soothing, I found myself being drawn to her. I stood at the foot of the stairs in a daze. How could something so beautiful be so evil.

"Castiel." She smiled brightly as she addressed him. "So nice of you to join us. Too bad you won't be staying." She placed her hand on the wall, invoking another Angel Banishing Sigil, and proceeded to make her way to me.

"You should see Lucifer," she said, answering my silent question. She smiled at my puzzlement. "I can read minds too. One of the perks of being a..."

I snapped out of my hypnotic trance. "An uber bitch?" I asked with a quirk of my eyebrow.

She laughed. "I see some of that surly Winchester rubbed off on you."

"What did you do to Dean?" I narrowed my eyes at her, trying to read her mind but she was blocking me.

"I wasn't really after him. I purposely fed that stupid demon that plan to get you right where I wanted you."

"Well, here I am." Pressing my shoulders back, I stood tall, keeping the knife at my side, ready to strike.

"I'm not going to fight you." She waved her fingers and the knife flew from my hands. "I don't really have a problem with you, Bella. You're just sort of in the way. See, Lucifer was my shining star. If angels believed in soul mates, you could say he was mine. He needs to be free, Bella. I'm sure if Dean were trapped somewhere, you'd do anything to get him out."

She stood in front of me, and in a soothing gesture, smoothed my hair away from my face. "All you have to do is sacrifice yourself and then we're through here. Dean is safe, I get Lucifer...it's really a win win situation."

I tried my best to get into her head again, but the harder I tried, the more it hurt. That high pitch piercing noise I always heard when I went after a demon was now amplified in my own head. I winced from the pain.

Smiling softly, she began to circle me. "This whole apocalypse thing...poor name, bad marketing. It really puts people off. But the truth is we're all getting what we want. The demons get to have some hell on earth, the angels get their reformation, and I get Lucifer."

"So you're not going to kill me? Go back in time and make sure I was never born?"

She let out a sigh. "I'm not really a huge fan of kids, Bella. That was Eve's gig. You know, that mother of all evil thing..." she shook her head with a laugh "...do you really see me as mother material?" I looked on at her in disbelief. "Yeah, me either. I really don't care about the Cambion. I'm perfectly fine with just having Lucifer all to myself."

"So if I sacrifice myself..." I struggled to put the pieces together but nothing was clicking.

"His love for God sent him down to the cage...your love for Dean is going to get him out." She stared me down, her green eyes working their way into my soul. Touching my cheek with the back of her hand, she smiled sadly. "I've seen that look before. You love Dean too much. It will always be a weakness...for both of you."

She moved behind me and leaned over my shoulder, her warm breath on my neck as she spoke. "By sacrificing yourself, you're keeping him safe. Look at what love did to his father. John's one hunt away from putting a gun in his mouth."

Her words sent a shiver down my spine, and she walked in front of me, her eyes full of understanding. "I know you tried to leave Dean because you thought it would keep him safe. Right thinking, wrong follow through. You need to be gone once and for all. As long as he holds onto that hope that you'll come around, that you guys can have your happily ever after, he's setting himself up for failure. He'll get himself killed Bella. I know you...I feel what you feel. A world without Dean isn't a world worth living in, is it?"

I backed away from her. "So all I have to do is..."

She reached her hand out. "Choose to die for him."

Looking down at her hand, I actually thought about her offer. All this suffering would finally be over. Dean would be safe. Maybe this was my destiny all along. Things upstairs were in shambles. Maybe a little reformation would benefit us all. Hopefully, Castiel would return to heaven and set them straight. The world wouldn't end. Like she said, the demons would unleash a bunch of evil on the earth, but what else was new? As long as Dean was alive, and he and Sam kept fighting, I knew it wouldn't be so bad.

I lifted my head and looked into her eyes. They were so warm and welcoming. She nodded encouragingly but movement over her shoulder caught my eye. "It will be painless, I promise." She smiled.

Dean shoved the angel blade into her from behind. "That's what she said." Her eyes glazed over, turning into white opaque orbs. She clutched at her stomach as her mouth flew open and a gold light emitted from her before falling to the ground.

Whatever poor girl she had taken as a vessel was now dead on the ground. I knelt down and brought my fingers to her face, closing her eyes. A tear trickled down my cheek. The weight of everything had finally crushed me. I looked up at Dean through glassy eyes, and he held his hand out for me. I grabbed it without thinking, and soon I was in his arms, sobbing into his chest.

"Shhh, Bella. It's over... It's all over. You did it. You stopped the apocalypse." He held me tighter and pressed his lips to the top of my head.

I pushed away from him. "No, you did it. You killed her. You stopped the apocalypse. I was ready to sacrifice myself for..."

"Me. I know..." He nodded and pulled me back to him, holding my hands in his. "That's because it was your destiny...just like it was mine to save you."

A sound of air whipping around the room alerted me to his presence. I let go of Dean and turned to face our visitor. "I'm sorry for lying to you, Bella."

"How?" I looked at Castiel, my brows knitted together in confusion.

"When I healed Dean, I told him I needed you angry. He said he knew exactly what would do the trick."

I backed away from both of them, feeling completely betrayed like I had been played. "No..." I shook my head. "No..." I kept repeating it like the more I said it, the more it wouldn't be true.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. Watching you leave nearly killed me. I almost couldn't let you go. But then I remembered what Cas told me in that hospital bed. Your life depended on believing that I didn't love you. Telling you I didn't need you, that was the worst kind of blasphemy. It damn near broke my heart knowing you believed it so easily." Dean walked towards me, his eyes shining with emotion. "But if it kept you safe, I'd do it all over again."

The tears wouldn't stop flowing as a cry tore through my chest. I let him wrap his arms around me and collapsed against his chest. I didn't remember what happened next, just that I finally felt at home.

~o~

"Are you mad?"

I sat up in bed and faced the chair in the corner of the room. "No, I get why you did it. I think we need to work on your communication skills."

Castiel smiled. "What I said before...about following you and not Heaven... It still stands. Just because you stopped the apocalypse doesn't mean you stop being my charge. I need to keep you safe to make sure you fulfill your destiny."

I ran a hand through my hair. "But I thought..."

"The savior, Bella. You and Dean will..."

Silencing with my hand, I said, "Cas, stop. You don't have a timeline on that, do you?" He shook his head. "Good. Then stop pushing the issue. It will happen when it's supposed to. In the meantime, it's kind of nice knowing I've got an angel on my payroll."

~o~

Later that night my head was pressed against Dean's bare chest as he lovingly ran his hands through my hair.

"I missed you," he said, his voice a whisper.

I lifted my head and looked up at him, tears rimming my eyes. "I missed you too."

"Hey..." he sat up and pulled me up his body, positioning me so I could face him. "Don't cry. We saved the world. You should be happy."

"But look at everything we went through to get there...all the pain, hurting each other..."

He swiped away my tears with the pads of his thumbs. "Look, I have no illusions, okay? One of us could die tomorrow. I have no faith in the guys upstairs. They're just as selfish as the demons. But I have faith in you...I have faith in us. I don't know what's headed our way, but it doesn't matter because we'll take it on together." His words were comforting, and I smiled through the tears. "This life sucks. It's taken a lot from me and out of me, but I want you to know that when I do picture myself happy, it's with you."

I pressed my mouth against his, hungrily devouring his lips. He laughed and pulled away before we got too carried away. "I wasn't done. Even though you weren't there, you've always been the light that's led me to the place where I find peace."

I smiled knowing exactly how he felt. Every moment of my life had led me to him. Just like Cas had showed me in those alternate realities. We belonged together.

He kissed my mouth quickly but softly and then continued. "There were times I wanted to give up, Bella. Long before I ever met you, I was ready to pack it all in because I had no idea what I was fighting for. Something kept me going."I looked up at him, my eyes filling with moisture again. He frowned. "Come on, sweetheart, I'm trying to be romantic here. You know I suck at this stuff and seeing you cry just makes me want to shoot something..."

I let out a waterly laugh and sniffed through the tears.

His fingers sought my hips and he gave them a gentle squeeze. I couldn't help the tingle it caused between my legs, and I was anxious to ditch the heavy talk and start some pillow talk. My eyes must have given him that come hither stare because he inched away from me and chuckled.

"And definitely don't look at me like that because if you keep giving me those bedroom eyes, I'm not going to get this out..."

I gave him a pout and then sucked my lip into my mouth. Looking up from my lashes, I watched him readjust himself under the blanket. He let out a frustrated grunt and swallowed thickly.

Taking a deep breath, his eyes wandered to the ceiling. "Okay, let's try this again. Before I met you, I kept having this nightmare. Baby broke down..." he shook his head, horrifed from even dreaming something like that "...I don't know where Sam was, but it was in the middle of the night on this dark, endless road. No other cars, just miles and miles of nothingness. But I started to walk...I don't know to where...I just started. It felt like it went on forever. The sun came up and went down again, but I just kept walking. You were the strength that kept me walking, the hope that kept me trusting that I'd get to where I was going."

I pulled the blanket up to my mouth trying to hide my smirk. "Dean, this is why you shouldn't eat bacon cheeseburgers after midnight."

He pounded his fist on the bed and narrowed his eyes at me. "Then why the hell is Wendy's open till one in the morning, Bella?"

I opened my mouth to speak but he pounced on me, gripping my hands above my head and staring down at me. _Now we were talking!_

His eyes were serious, so I frowned, knowing whatever ideas of a repeat performance from earlier were now pushed to the side. "This life is hard. Seeing the things we've seen. It changes people...puts this darkness inside of them...makes them jaded and hateful. Look at my dad..." I sighed and Dean released my writs. "I'm not like him, not anymore, because I have something he doesn't. A flashlight to help me find my way through the darkness. You're the light to my soul, Bella, the reason for hope. I love you."

It felt like I had waited my whole life to hear those words. "I love you too, Dean."

We had saved the world, and something told me we'd probably do it again, and again, and again. That stuff didn't matter. We were up against good, evil, angels, devils, destiny, and God himself, but we made our own choice. We chose each other. And, well...wasn't that kinda the whole point?

The End

* * *

E/N – I'm posting this last chapter with a heavy heart. I still have the epilogue left but it's got a lot of citrus in it and it's not necessary to the story, so this is the real ending. Hope everyone enjoyed it and I hope I tied everything up for you. I'm always around for questions. I'd love to hear what you think!


	28. Move You (The Epilogue)

A/N – This is it, kiddos. For real. Nothing after this. I'm toying with the idea of outtakes from Sam and Dean's POV. I can be pursuaded to include certain scenes, so send me a list of ones you'd like to see! I guess I should warn my younger readers this chapter is LEMON heavy. All my fellow pervs, you can thank Filia1990 for that. It's only in here because she wanted some more Dean/Bella action. I guess they kind of deserved it after all they've been through.

Chapter is brought to you by Anya Marina's _Move You_.

* * *

_Bending spoons with my mind, manifesting men of all kinds in my spare time. But oh, how I struggled in vain to solve this riddle with my brain when the answer's in my hands. So I wanna move you around. Got to turn you inside out. Yeah, I wanna move you, I wanna move you around. I wanna move you, I wanna move you around._

**Ch. 28 – Epilogue – Move You**

"Come on, Dean. Just one more time!" I rolled over onto my side and let the blanket drop, giving him an eyeful of my naked chest if he'd just turn around.

"You're insatiable, you know that?" He paused in front of the door, turning over his shoulder to address me. His eyes raked over my bare skin and he swallowed. "You know I have to go...but you're making it incredibly hard."

I raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Good..."

He let out a sigh but laughed. "That's not what I meant..."

"We've got ten minutes." I batted my eyelashes at him and pouted. "Please?"

"What the hell!" He tossed his bag on the floor, reaching around to strip out of his shirt, and pounced on the bed.

I attempted to sit up and reached my hands out in front of me to unbutton his jeans. He could see me struggling so he made quick work of his belt, pausing to give me his best impression of a Chippendale dancer while he moved the belt side to side behind his neck.

"The clock is ticking, Dean."

He frowned, dropping the belt and kicking of his pants. "You're just using me for my body."

"Yep." I smiled cockily. I pushed him down on the bed and climbed on top of him. It was my new favorite position for obvious reasons.

He had a huge, shit-eating grin on his face as I hovered over him. "I gotta tell ya, sweetheart, I don't think I'll ever get tired of this view."

I pressed my mouth to his, silencing him. Speaking out of the side of my mouth as I ground my hips against his, I said, "Less talking, more doing..."

Grabbing a handful of breast, he squeezed firmly, yet gently, and it caused me to moan. He wagged his eyebrows at me. "That enough doing?"

Placing my palms on his muscular chest, I used Dean as leverage, lifting myself off of him and then slowly lowering my self back down. My eyes rolled back in my head as I took him in, savoring the feeling of being so full. We both moaned in unison, and he leaned forward, pushing himself deeper, and pressed a kiss along the column of my neck. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer, letting my fingers dig into his back. He let out a sharp wince but it only urged him on, and he started his own movements, his hips meeting mine. He bucked against me, and I let out another moan as I hung onto him whispering incoherent words.

I squeezed my eyes shut. "Feels...mmm...oh..."

He reached around me, wrapping my hair around his hand and giving it a firm tug. My head went back as my eyes met his.

"I want to see you when you fall apart..."

The gruffness in his voice and his commanding eyes sent me over the edge. He continued to thrust into me a few more times and then collapsed on his back, pulling me on top of him and holding me close.

I lay there for a moment but the pressure cause me to wince and I struggled in his arms. He frowned and I lowered my eyes. "I'm sorry. It's uncomfortable."

He gently rolled me onto my side and sat up, bending down to retrieve his boxers and jeans from the floor. Slipping into his boxers and pants, he looked at me over his shoulder. His eyes were a brilliant green and those full lips slightly parted. He knew I was no match for that look, the one that said "you can't be mad at me." And I really couldn't, but then he had to open his mouth.

"I just wanted to be close to you...all of you, sweetheart."

Why'd he have to go and say that? Why couldn't I just use him for what I needed, and then he could be on his merry way? Now those words, rich and thick like honey, would linger long after he left. He'd only be gone for a few days, but now they'd be the longest few days I'd ever encountered. It just reminded me how empty and alone I was without him.

Narrowing my eyes at him, I shot him an icy glare, but he just smirked at me. I inched my leg towards him and dug my toes into his side. He jumped off the bed and stared down at me. Now it was my turn to smirk.

"Goddamnit, Bella! Your toes are like icicles."

I wiggled them at him, almost like waving with my foot. "Get out of here, Dean!"

He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. Being a little greedy, I threaded my fingers through the back of his hair and pulled his head towards me. He opened his mouth and I traced his lower lip with my tongue. He moaned and deepened the kiss before pulling away and breathing heavy.

"I really gotta go..."

Staring at him smugly, I lifted my chin and said, "No one's keeping you here..."

He pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

When I didn't answer, he kissed along the underside of my chin, behind my ear, blowing hot air into it that made me shiver. He traced his lips down my neck, over my collarbone, spending a few minutes teasing my sensitive breasts by gently biting and licking my hardened nipples. I let out a moan and arched my back, lifting my whole body off of the mattress. Dean just continued on his torture inducing journey until he reached my abdomen.

"I'll miss you," he whispered into my belly.

I smiled contently, savoring the moment. "You should go."

He used his forearms to push off the bed. "I'm going, I'm going." Grabbing his shirt off the floor, he tossed in on over his head and picked up the bag he had dropped by the door. Dean took a few steps before turning back around and rushing back to give me a chaste kiss on the lips. He opened the door but paused, glancing back at me one last time.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Don't forget to say goodbye to Chuck before you leave," I reminded him.

~o~

I must have fallen back asleep after Dean left because I woke up in a cold sweat from the same nightmare I had been having for the past few nights. I tried to shake the image of the woman in white out of my head, but even after I opened my eyes, she was still there, like she was permanently etched into my mind. There had been instances where I was wide awake and I'd turn around only to see her standing next to me. She'd follow me around for awhile, almost like she was tethered to me. At first I thought it was some type of spirit caught in limbo. Maybe she just needed help crossing over. I researched all the recent deaths but nothing fit the woman's description. The sun was just making its appearance, and I decided I'd look into other possibilities. Bobby stayed behind to keep an eye on me, so I planned on making him some breakfast before I started digging into things. Bobby was always more receptive on a full stomach.

It took me ten minutes to finally get out of bed. I threw on one of Dean's button-down shirts and a pair of wool socks and padded into the kitchen. I placed a few slices of bacon in the cast-iron pan. Between the sizzling and crackling and the delicious smell, Bobby was in the kitchen in record time.

"Chuck's still sleeping?" Bobby asked as I placed a plate of eggs, toast, and bacon in front of him.

"Yeah, but Dean said goodbye before he left." I smiled sweetly. "So, Bobby, what do you think about their theory? You think it's for real?"

"I know that look on your face, Bella, and get that idea right out of your head. You're not going on this hunt. Not in your condition..."

"I meant what do you think about the wishes... Do you think they can really do it?" I took a seat next to him, patiently waiting his answer.

"There's a lot of lore. We've never really come up against one, so I don't know. It could just be a myth. Sam and Dean may be facing something completely different."

"I know...I know...but say it was really a Djinn...and say you had a wish...uh...but you never even said it out loud. Like you wished for a different life..." I looked down at my stomach and then back up at him "...or a baby..." The high pitch cry of a baby echoed through the kitchen.

"Speaking off babies..." Bobby offered me a smile before pushing back his chair and getting up.

I gripped onto the edge of the kitchen table and used it to hoist myself out of the chair. I put a hand on his shoulder, stilling him. "Don't worry, I'll get him."

I pressed a hand into my side, trying to dull the ache I had felt in my abdomen all morning. I took a few deep breaths and walked towards Chuck's bedroom. When I got to the crib, he was staring up at the mobile making cute baby noises.

"Hi, sweetie!" I reached into the crib and cradled him to my chest. "Did you sleep okay?" The baby just cooed and buried his head in my neck.

I walked back into the kitchen and Bobby gave me an appraising look. "You should tell that angel of yours that babysitting isn't on your resume."

Sitting back down in the chair, I bounced Chuck on my knee. "You know he's not just any baby, Bobby." I placed my hands over Chuck's ears. "He's a prophet."

Bobby shook his head. "You're gonna have your hands full pretty soon."

I rolled my eyes. "So back to the case..."

He let out a disgruntled sigh. "I suppose. I mean they have Godlike power. They can alter reality however they want. Past. Present. Future."

"But why?" I pressed. "Why would it bother granting people's wishes? Maybe they're not evil...maybe..."

"Bella, just let the boys take care of it."

~o~

After breakfast I took Chuck to the park. I spread out a blanket on the grass and relaxed under the warm sun while he played with some blocks and teething rings I had brought. I must have dozed off for a split-second because I had that nightmare again. It was the same girl dressed all in white, but every time I made my way towards her in the dream she just vanished into thin air. I blinked my eyes, trying to gain more consciousness. Chuck was still content, playing next to me on the blanket. I squinted under the glare of the sun but noticed movement in the distance. It was the girl! Only this time, she was a lot filthier. Her perfect white coat was covered in blood and her skin was dirty and littered with bruises. I scooped Chuck into my arms and started to run towards her as fast as my body would allow, but she was gone again.

~o~

When I finally put Chuck down for bed, I decided I should make a pot of coffee so I could stay awake. The doctor advised me against drinking too much caffeine, but for some reason I didn't think it would have any adverse side effects. I hit the books, looking up everything I could about Djinns. Dean had John's journal, and I was tempted to just call and ask John myself, but lately he hadn't been answering any of our calls. The only thing I could find was that they could read a person's mind to learn their deepest desires and then make them happen. I didn't know why something evil would do something that seemed so good, and that was what bothered me the most. I may not have known their motives, but I knew how to kill them and that was a start. All I needed was a silver knife dipped in lamb's blood.

After our battle with Anna, I was ready to eliminate any supernatural threat, regardless of it they were good or bad...except for Castiel of course. I was pissed at him for awhile, but deep down I knew he did what he did for me. I couldn't stay angry at him forever, especially when he tried so hard to communicate better. He did lay low for awhile, which made it easier to control my anger. Since Cas wasn't there, I took it out on everyone around me. Dean and Sam had put up with a lot when I started hunting again. I was definitely a bitch when we were on a case, which often resulted in Dean sleeping on the couch. The only thing that mattered was getting it done, and sometimes that meant not listening to the brothers and doing it my way, even if my way was reckless and dangerous. The funny thing was once the case was over and the dust had settled, I was fine. Sam finally called me on my shit.

"This isn't you, Bella," he'd said. "The whole RoboHunter thing...you know it's not black and white. You know right from wrong...you're acting like Dean used to."

Despite his best effort, Sam couldn't get through to me. Believe it or not, it was Dean that finally got me on track. It wasn't until the Molly McNamara and Jonah Greeley case that his words had finally sunk in.

Jonah was a local farmer that died when he was run over on the freeway. One night a year, on the anniversary of his death, Jonah haunted the same stretch of road. Molly had the unfortunate luck of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I wanted go on the job, salt and burn the bones, and then call it a day. When went to the Greeley property to try and find the bones, Molly found Jonah's love letters to his wife instead. That had changed things a bit.

She came to me with the letters looking for answers. "It's a letter he wrote to his wife. My God! It's beautiful. I don't understand how a guy like this could turn into such a monster."

When I opened my mouth to speak, Dean came up behind me and cut in. "Not all of them were evil people, you know? A lot of them were good. Just...something happened to them. Something they couldn't control..." Dean looked over at me as he spoke, and I finally understood. "We're just trying to put them to rest...give them some peace. Spirits like Greeley are uh...like wounded animals. Lost, in so much pain...that they lash out. We're just trying to save them...break the vicious cycle."

His words reminded me of what our real job was: saving people. Just like with Molly and Jonah, the things that happened to me were out of my control. I couldn't let that anger eat me up and destroy everything I believed in. I always managed to see the good in everyone and the longer I held onto all the hate, the more I'd become like the things we hunted. Molly had us to save her, and I had Dean, Sam, Cas, Bobby, and even John. It was time to let go.

Once we salted and burned Jonah Greeley's corpse, and freed Molly from his clutches, I knew what I had to do. Sam offered to do it, but I knew it needed to be me. To get back to being the old Bella, I needed to _help_ Molly. So we drove her to town where she could see David, her husband. She had thought Greeley killed him. The truth of what happened to David was almost more painful.

We pulled up to the nice suburban home, and I got out, taking her hand and bringing her over to the window. She saw David sitting at the kitchen table, drinking from a cup coffee, looking up adoringly at a woman wearing a fluffy white robe as she kissed the top of his head.

"I don't..." She shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. "Who is that?"

Instinctively, I reached out to put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. The jaded woman I had become wanted to deliver the blow swiftly and efficiently, not caring about what Molly was feeling. After a few minutes of hesitation, realization finally dawned on Molly and she began to cry. I pulled Molly into my arms without a second thought and soothed her as I told her the truth about what had happened. She and David had accidentally ran Jonah Greeley over, killing both Jonah and Molly. For fifteen years, on the same night and same road, Jonah punished someone for killing him. He punished Molly. After Molly had finally let go, I followed suit. I felt lighter, happier, when I let all that anger leave my body.

This whole thing with the Djinn made me think about Molly. She didn't think she was doing anything wrong. In fact, she didn't even know she was a ghost. Maybe this Djinn didn't realize what he was doing to the people he was trying to grant wishes to. By the time I finished my third cup of coffee, Bobby's loud snores could be heard from down the hall. I tip-toed into the library and made my way to the cabinet that held all of Bobby's goodies. I held the silver knife in my hand as I opened the door and reached for the jar of lamb's blood.

"Whatcha got there, Bella?"

I felt a sharp twinge in my stomach and spun around, carefully tucking the knife into the waist of my pants from behind. "Just checking inventory." I smiled at Bobby.

Bobby stepped closer. "You're not going after the Djinn, Bella." His voice was gruff, final. My posture stiffened and he smiled softly at me. "I know it's hard for you to be on the sidelines, kid, but Sam and Dean have this covered."

A wave of nausea hit me and my head began to spin. I winced as another sharp pain hit me in the gut. I stumbled from the pain and Bobby gripped me by the arm, helping me stay standing.

"Bella, sit down before you pass out."

I grabbed my protruding belly with both of my hands and allowed him lead me to the couch. I sat down and let the comfortable cushions swallow me.

"What were ya thinking?" he asked, concerned.

I shook my head, another pain tearing through my body. They were coming on faster and stronger. "I don't know." I winced again.

"Are you okay?"

My eyebrows furrowed from pain and confusion. "I don't know..." I took a deep breath which only made it hurt worse.

"Is it the baby?" Bobby rushed to the phone and quickly dialed a number. "Dean? Where are you? It's Bella...the baby..." He slammed the receiver down and came back over to me. "Just hang in there. Dean will be here in five minutes."

I could feel the pain building again and beads of sweat forming on my brow. Chuck's faint cries were coming from somewhere far away. The last thing I remembered before passing out was Bobby's frantic voice calling my name.

I blinked my eyes open and saw Dean kneeling by my side. Bobby and Sam were standing in the corner of the room keeping a watchful eye on me.

"Dammit, Bella. What were you thinking? You could have hurt yourself and the baby."

I opened my mouth to speak, but the clacking of high heels across the hardwood floor drew my attention to the kitchen. The woman from my nightmares was making her way towards me. I finally got a good look at her. She was wearing a white lab coat. She was my doctor... I couldn't erase the last image I had of her from my mind. Her lab coat was covered in blood. My blood? What were the bruises from? I struggled to sit up as she approached me and put a hand on me, gently pushing me back into the couch.

"Bella, you need to take it easy or this baby is going to come sooner than I'd like."

I looked at her, confused. I tried to sit up again but both her and Dean pushed me back down. "Let me up."

"You know I can't do that, sweetheart."

Struggling against them, I finally got free. I took a few steps backwards until my back was against the bookshelf. I reached behind me and pulled out the knife. I waved it everyone in the room.

"This isn't real..." I lunged towards the doctor and Dean. "It's a Djinn...it's doing something to..."

The doctor looked at Dean with wide eyes and he just shrugged. "Pregnancy brain...it does that, right? Hallucinations? Crazy talk?" He chuckled before slowly walking over to me, his eyes filled with worry.

"Bella, you're scaring me, okay? You're having some kind of psychotic break. Sam and I took care of everything..." Dean looked over to Sam and Sam nodded confidently "...you need to give me the knife. You feel that?" He took my free hand and placed it on his heart. "That's real. I'm real."

I pushed him away and took a step back. The hurt in Dean's eyes caused me to falter. He frowned and shook his head. "I love you, Bella. I can't lose you again. You said we'd get through anything together. I need you to get through this. Please put the knife down."

I shook my head frantically, trying to drown out his words. It had to be a trick. "No... I don't believe you..."

"Don't do this, Bella. I'm real..."

"There's only one way to be sure..." I turned the knife on myself, aiming it at my abdomen.

Dean reached his hand out, trying to grab the knife. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?"

I smiled. "It's an old wives' tale. If you're about to die in a dream you wake up."

"No!" He shouted and it caused me to jump. "Listen to yourself, sweetheart. That's crazy."

I steeled my gaze. "Maybe."

Dean's eyes were panicked. "You're going to kill yourself and that baby. You know how important that baby is..."

"Or I'm going to wake up. One or the other." I gripped the knife with both hands and turned it on myself.

"Wait!" A little voice called out.

Everyone in the room turned around and met the face of an adorable little boy with bright green eyes, a smattering of freckles on the bridge of his nose and cheeks, and a full head of dark brown hair. He couldn't have been more than five. Dean paced around the boy before picking him up in his arms. You couldn't mistake the resemblance. They had the same smile.

"Why couldn't you just leave well enough alone?" Dean's eyes glazed over from unshed tears. "You were happy. We...were happy."

"Put the knife down, Mommy." The little voice tugged at my heart, and I felt my grip slipping.

"You're not real," I insisted, shaking my head.

"It doesn't matter," the little boy answered.

Dean took another step closer to me, his eyes pleading. "It's better than anything you had..."

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"It's everything you want. We're a family. I love you..."

I could feel myself breaking. Using the wall to support my weight, I slumped to the floor. "But the Djinn...it will drain the life out of me in a couple of days."

Dean handed the child off to me and I instinctively took him in my arms. Dean sat down beside me as I held the boy.

"But in here...with us...it'll feel like years. Like a life time."

The little boy looked up at me, his green eyes hopeful and crippling. I pressed a kiss on the top of his head.

"I promise..." Dean took my chin in his hand and stared at me "...no more pain..." he stroked my cheek as a tear fell "...or fear. Just love and comfort and safety. Bella, stay with us..."

Before he could finish his words I shoved the knife into my gut. "I'm sorry..."

"Bella, stay with us..."

My head lolled to the side. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sam working at the chains of the girl that was hanging next to me. She was wearing a white skirt and a white lab coat, but it was covered in blood and dirt. Her skin was littered with bruises and her hair was matted against her forehead. It was the doctor... Dean continued to shake me, trying to break me from my daze.

"Come on, sweetheart, wake up." Dean stroked my cheeks, giving me a light slap. I blinked my eyes open. "Bella, stay with us. We're gonna get you out of here..."

I felt reality slowly start to seep in as I put together the events that had happened. The girl hanging next to me had been a victim of the Djinn. We had tracked the Djinn to this abandoned warehouse and he must have got me. I caught movement behind him.

"Look out!" I cried.

The Djinn and Dean began to fight. Sam stopped fiddling with the chains and ran after them. Just as the Djinn was about to press his hand to Dean's forehead, Sam shoved the knife into the Djinn's back. The Djinn rolled over, the blue light in his eyes fading out completely.

~o~

Later that night as we lay in bed, Dean rubbed soothing circles along the marks on my wrists. A silent tear rolled down my cheek.

His eyes were filled with worry. "Did I hurt you?"

I shook my head as another tear fell. "I wanted to stay...I wanted to stay so bad. It was everything I wanted."

He raised an eyebrow. "You want a baby?" Then he smirked. "Like right now?" I looked away, feeling my cheeks redden. His fingers found my chin, turning me to face him. His eyes were shining. "Well...there's no harm in practicing."

* * *

E/N – Thank you, everyone. You read, you reviewed, you gave this story so much love and I am so incredibly humbled and grateful. I have a oneshot called Bad Company on my profile. It's a prequel to the next story I'll be posting. Catch you guys on the flipside. Kirk out!


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